The Binkle and the Catawampus Compass (Binkles and Magic) (10 page)

Chapter 8—

LAUGHTER AT THE ZOO

One day after school Louise challenged Jeep and Anna, “Why don’t we go to the zoo today. I’ve got free passes—even coupons for ice cream.”

“Can we have chocolate?” Jeep asked.

“You and chocolate,” said Louise as she rolled her eyes. “Don’t you ever get enough?”

“Enough? I can’t imagine what enough chocolate would be like. Would that be like enough money or enough time?”

“Or enough clothes, or enough rides on a roller coaster¼? asked Anna.

“That’s too much thinking. We’re here for fun,” insisted Louise.

The friends were soon strolling through Truman Zoo. They saw signs of disorder all over the place. Several popular exhibits were closed to the public. Large signs announced the entire zoo would be closed starting on a particular date—without any indication of how soon it would re-open. Louise asked an employee what was going on.

He explained, “A large factory is going to be built nearby. All that construction racket at all hours will disturb the animals. Most of them are being moved as far from the noise as we can put them. But we’ve run out of places for them to go.”

“Too bad,” Anna replied. “That’s going to crowd the exhibits even worse.”

“Can’t be good for the animals,” Louise added.

“No, but what choice do we have?” the workman shrugged.

They started at the Monkey House. Monkeys aren’t too proud to act like silly clowns to keep people’s attention. The friends watched their antics with pleasure until they noticed several young monkeys picking on at a smaller one.

Louise grumbled, “Oh no, I wish they wouldn’t do that. I came here to forget about bullies.”

        “That’s mean! Can’t we stop them?” Anna added. But they couldn’t do much about it from outside the bars.

Jeep tried to understand the chatter going on inside the monkey cage. But the situation could be grasped easily, just from watching the behavior.

Without pausing to think, Jeep let loose a mouthful of scrambled sounds. They made no sense to bystanders, or to Jeep. But to the two mean monkeys it sounded like, “I’m going to tell your mother!”

Bad news for misbehaving offspring—human or monkey. Deserting their mischief, the mean monkeys scampered away. The picked-on one swung arm over arm along the bars until he reached Jeep, then jabbered at him. Just from the tone and gestures alone, Jeep could recognize a thank you.

Anna and Louise looked stunned by what they’d seen. Louise asked, “What was that all about? How did you learn to speak monkey talk?”

 “But we heard you¼” they said with one voice.

“It’s not what you think.”

“Just fill us in and we’ll decide what to think for ourselves,” said Anna.

“Sorry I didn’t mention it but I’m not very good. Cerberus makes fun of me. Even though I’m getting better, it seems like a foreign language.”

Jeep told them about his brief, unexpected exchanges with Ramses and Lulu.”

“It’s another effect from me from me eating faduki every day. Who knows if there could be more.”

Anna said, “Well Jeep, here’s the best place to practice. We want to watch ...”

Louise broke in, “I dare you. I double dare you to make a lion laugh. Do you think you can?”

“Or a bear or a snake,” continued Anna. “Let’s say we can’t go home until you make at least two animals laugh at what you say. Deal?”

By now, both Anna and Louise were laughing uproariously at the thought of Jeep being a comedian for animals. There was no way for Jeep to get out of it.
If I’ve got to do it, I might as well be as silly as possible.

~~~

Jeep asked a zebra, “Do you have time to hear a joke?”

The zebra replied, “You’re not going to try that embarrassed zebra joke on me, are you?” [Old version—What’s black and white and
read
all over? Answer—A newspaper New version—What’s black and white and
red
all over? Answer—An embarrassed zebra]

“Certainly not, I wouldn’t insult you with that old relic. It’s apparent you’re much too witty for that. I thought I’d offer you a ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, they’ve got you locked up in there. But the keeper said you could go free—if you’d change your stripes.”

The zebra groaned, turned, and trotted off.

Jeep asked Anna, “Doesn’t a groan count? He got my joke, even though he didn’t like it.”

“Half score then. I’ll expect you to do better with the snakes.”

Finding a snake that would even talk to him turned out to be pretty tough. They have no interest whatsoever in being sociable.

When Jeep got a large rattlesnake to listen, he asked, “Do you do much reading?”

To which the snake replied, “I’d have a little trouble turning the pages, don’t you think? Besides, what’s worth reading?”

“I’ve heard that
Snake
speare is pretty popular,” Jeep said, without blowing his punch line. Not getting a laugh, he kept going. “What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?”

The snake didn’t know or care, but only waved his head around when Jeep replied, “A jump rope.” Still no laugh.

The snake took charge, “Let me ask you one. What did Noah give the animals who couldn’t get on the ark?”

Jeep didn’t know. When the snake said, “A rain check,” he chuckled.

Jeep asked Anna, “Do I get any points if the animals get me to laugh?”

She made a face. “Don’t make me laugh.”

He tried again, “What do snakes study in school? (
hiss
tory), to which the snake rolled his eyes. “I hear that snakes don’t have basements in their houses.” He paused for drama, “They only have crawl spaces.”

The snake rewarded him with a reluctant guffaw.

Anna announced, “OK, that one’s a full point. Now you have 1½. ”

By comparison, the polar bear was easy. Jeep asked one, “What do lady polar bears use on their faces at night?”

It probably was a girl bear since it acted embarrassed not to know.

When Jeep said, “
Very
cold cream (beauty cream),” she grinned, but stopped short of a snicker.

Jeep immediately followed with, “Where do pigs live?”

Once again the bear was stumped.

“In a high
G
rime area,” made her burst into giggles.

“You know,” the polar bear remarked, “there’s not much dirt where I come from. That’s probably why we see so few pigs in the Arctic.”

“Another point then,” said Anna.

Whereupon, Jeep turned toward the girls and made a dramatic gesture with his arms. “Da da!” Both girls applauded with gusto.

After so much laughter, the friends headed toward home in a light-hearted mood.

Jeep said, “Since we’ve all been feeling them this whole time, I guess it’s time to tell you about the binkle.”

“Dinkle?” asked Louise, “sounds weird.”

“Binkle, with a “B”—weird but wonderful. Just listen.”

So Jeep finally told Anna and Louise what the gnomes taught him about binkles. About creating energy through connecting with other people. Of course, the sisters understood at once. When it came to friendship and binkles they were already experts.

~~~

The hour was late and Jeep had been asleep for hours. Chris sat at the kitchen table with all his bills sorted into three tidy stacks—pay now, pay a little, put off a bit longer. The third pile was the largest and it seemed to grow month by month. Most of the bills came with fancy “Pay Now” or “Past Due” stickers. Chris couldn’t blame them—but he couldn’t do anything about it, either. He dreaded the collection calls that rudely pressed for payment. As an honest person, Chris hated that his word wasn’t considered trustworthy.

Chris got into this fix rather suddenly after Helen’s illness. Everything was going along fine when his wife was home. Their combined salaries covered the bills, with enough left over to save toward their own home. Then Helen’s medical bills sucked those savings up, and he couldn’t keep up. That’s when Chris took a second job. Besides his less-than-satisfying sales job at the mattress factory, most nights he worked as a short-order cook, dragging himself home at 10:00. He was always exhausted and a bit foggy.

He cut every expense he could, and watched where each dollar went. Extras were out of the question. Fortunately, Jeep didn’t want much or complain about doing without.

Chris had always been so-so with money. When he was single, he didn’t make much, but he didn’t spend much either. Once married, Helen handled their finances; she had a knack for it. There always was enough to go around, with some for fun and a bit put aside for a rainy day. This money pinch sent yet another reminder why he missed her so much.

At the thought of her Chris rolled his eyes to the ceiling and groaned, “Oh, Helen, it’s tough. But I could hang on if I only knew you’d be coming home one of these days. I can’t endure it by myself much longer.”

Now all the responsibilities were on him—to keep up the home and Jeep. At the thought of Jeep, Chris felt a twinge of guilt. Despite his best intentions, Chris knew he wasn’t doing a very good job as a father. More often than not, it was Jeep who was taking care of him, by doing the cooking and chores.

I’ll have to talk with him about her one of
these days
, he decided, as he’d often done before. Then never got around to it
.
Better he doesn’t know, better that he
has hope to hang on to—I sure wish I did
.

Chris wrote the checks and inserted them into the preprinted envelopes. Such a routine activity, yet each month was more distressing. He felt as inadequate as his bank balance.

Chris dozed off midway through and was awakened in the morning by Jeep, who was still in his pajamas.

“Hey, didn’t you ever get to bed?”

“Huh?” Chris said, still half asleep. He stumbled toward the bathroom.

Jeep followed him, “You OK? You look awful. Want me to call you in sick?”

“I’m OK. Maybe a shower¼” He closed the door so he wouldn’t have to look at Jeep’s worried face.

But Jeep wasn’t fooled. He dreaded seeing more signs that Chris was losing it
.

Chapter 9—

THE RETURN TO GRIKKL’S WORLD

The following Saturday morning Chris suggested, “Let’s have breakfast at Mildred’s Place. We probably should talk.”

Jeep was relieved since they’d hardly exchanged a word since their clash. Tension between them still hung in the air.

Mildred’s Place was their favorite café. If there ever had been a Mildred, she was long gone. Their waitress was Phyllis, who served them as long as they’d been eating at Mildred’s. When they arrived, the dining room was already about two-thirds full and filling up fast.

Chris got a mug of coffee, then gave Phyllis his order—sausage, French toast, and two eggs, over-easy. Jeep never looked at the menu since he always got the same thing—hash browns, scrambled eggs, bacon, and a crispy English muffin.

While they waited for their food, Chris spoke. “Been thinking about what you said, Jeep. It makes sense you want to see your mom. I wanted to protect you, that’s all. But I reckon you’re old enough to know the truth.”

“So I get to see her? You’ll take me?” Jeep was almost afraid to hope.

“Sure, the next Wednesday I go, you can come. But I still think it’s not a good idea. Like I said, she’s not just sick. She’s crazy—not just a little bit, either. Maybe you’ll stop blaming me¼”

Jeep wasn’t listening to the rest. He was too excited.
At last I’m going to see Mom!

About then, Phyllis arrived with their food. They were used to her being efficient and quick with a clever remark. Today she wasn’t. Sunny-side-up eggs arrived instead of eggs over-easy. She forgot Chris’s syrup. Jeep didn’t fare any better—his English muffin was barely toasted and already cold (horrors!). Chris and Jeep pointed out the mistakes and Phyllis took their food away to fix it.

They had a ridiculously long wait before they saw their food again. Phyllis’ section was full, and all the customers expected service at the same time. The ever-cheerful Phyllis was frazzled.

Jeep noticed her struggling to keep up—even poorly.
Here I am feeling so happy but Phyllis needs a lift, too.

Jeep whispered to Chris, “Let’s raise her spirits. I’m going to make Phyllis think we’re the best customers she’s ever had.

Her next trip past their table Jeep chanted, “You’re doing great! Go! Go! Go!” like he was her cheerleader. She looked so rattled he couldn’t tell if she heard. He made goofy faces and sent the “thumbs up” signals each time she hurried by. Chris played along.

When their correct order finally arrived, Jeep told her, “Phyllis, we like to eat here because of you. You’re the best thing on the menu. I’ll bet all these people agree. This is your fan club.”

The wisp of a smile appeared. Her fogginess thinned. When she made a witty remark, there she was! The Phyllis Chris and Jeep liked so much was back.

Their efforts to cheer her up were pleasant for themselves as well. Chris told about a British customer who expected free delivery of a bed all the way to England. For his part, Jeep repeated what Cindy had told him about the strange foods she ate in Korea.

Soon, they were laughing like long-time friends. They hadn’t acted that friendly with each other even when Helen was home. That morning some long-standing discomfort between them leaked away. Chris began to realize he could be a good farther without being a stern and distant, like his own father was.

~~~

Jeep was ready the next time Merve’s crew picked on them. He yelled, “Hey, you apes! Cut that out!” They responded like an elephant does to a mosquito.

Jeep jerked on Merve’s sleeve and hollered, “Leave them alone! You jerks can’t treat people like that.”

Merve shrugged him off. “None of your business, Jeep the Creep.”

Totally ignored—how humiliating! Hurts worse than a bloody nose would.
Embarrassed, frustrated, yet determined to sidetrack the tormentors, Jeep lobbed a half-inch rock at Merve.