The Cats that Played the Market (The Cats that . . . Cozy Mystery Book 4) (6 page)

Katherine made a habit of locking them up whenever she left the house. Inside the room was a newly installed window alarm with a Scout-proof lock. No Russian magician or Erie nutcase would ever be able to barge in and steal one of her cats. After Iris was stolen, Katherine convinced Mark Dunn to install a state-of-the-art security system throughout the house. He was reluctant, but finally agreed.

Abby jumped on Colleen’s bed and immediately dove for a sweater Colleen had just unpacked.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Colleen said, yanking the sweater away.

Katherine giggled, remembering how Abby had a wool fetish and loved to munch on sweaters, particularly Irish cable-knits. She became serious and asked, “Colleen, what’s going on with Mum? Why was she drinking?”

Colleen sat down on the bed and gave a look of pure dejection. “Mum just found out her building is going condo. She’s rented the place forever and a day. She’s fit to be tied, because she doesn’t want to tie up her savings in real estate.”

“But the drinking part? I’ve never seen Mum take a drink.”

“This just started. I’m at my wits end of what to do. She’s taking more and more nips from that flask day in and day out. I can’t believe she made it through airport security with that flask in her purse. I guess because it was empty, they allowed it. That bottle of booze she whipped out at the restaurant was from the plane. She ordered it for me while I went to the restroom. When I came back to my seat, she was putting it in her purse. She’d already had two drinks.”

They both were startled when they heard a scream coming from the front guest room. Katherine and Colleen rushed down the hall to find Mrs. Murphy pointing at something on the turret floor.

“A rat!” she screamed.

Katherine hurried over to investigate but found Lilac’s one-armed, one-legged toy bear. She turned to Mrs. Murphy. “Ah, don’t worry, that’s one of my cat’s toys,” she said holding it up.

Mrs. Murphy held her hand to her chest. “I thought I was dead in me bed.”

Colleen said tartly, “You’re probably hallucinating from the whiskey you’ve been drinking. Rats don’t look like toy bears!”

Mrs. Murphy turned a shade of red and said, “Katz, I really need to lie down. Can you make sure none of your cats are in here so I’m not disturbed?”

“Of course,” Katherine answered. She wondered where the cats were, which could be anywhere. A quick look under the bed didn’t reveal any four-legged creatures. Katz assumed they had wandered downstairs or were back in Colleen’s room getting into more catly mischief. “I think the coast is clear, Mum. Get some rest. I’ll wake you in a bit.” Katherine shut the door and whispered to Colleen, “Are you sure she’s okay and it’s not something else — like a medical condition?”

Colleen walked back to her room and said, “She just got a checkup. Everything is fine, but the doctor put her on blood pressure medicine.”

“Maybe we should check to see if she can drink alcohol with that prescription.”

“Okay.”

*              *              *

Promptly at four o’clock, Robbie drove up with Lizard in the passenger seat. He parked his Lexus in front, then walked to the other side of the car to help his mother. She leaped out like a spring chicken. Robbie hardly had time to take her arm to escort her up the walk.

Mrs. Murphy was already seated in the living room, on Abby’s and Iris’s favorite wingback chair. She was nibbling on a scone and complaining that Colleen wasn’t fast enough with the tea. Katherine glanced out the sidelight and opened the door.

“Hello!” she said cheerily.

“Oh, how lovely,” Lizard said, coming in. She stopped and gave Katherine a soft look. “You look just like Orvenia when she was young. Same black hair and green eyes.”

“Please join me in the living room,” Katherine beamed. “Allow me to take your coat.” It was then she noticed the fur wrap around Lizard’s neck and shoulders. It was an old-style fur stole featuring two — very dead — fox heads. Their black glass eyes seemed to be staring at her. Momentarily taken aback, she turned to Robbie, who had already taken off his coat. He laid it over a chair.

“Katz,” he boomed. “I hope you won’t take offense by my being so informal. But the last time I used your hall tree, your cats attacked my coat. Ha, ha!”

Lizard broke out laughing. “Yes, he told me all about it. Here son, drape my wrap over your coat.”

Katherine observed Iris peeking around the corner with a predatory glint in her sapphire blue eyes. She had zeroed in on the fox wrap.

Colleen’s mum stood up and said, “I’m Mrs. Murphy, but my friends call me Maggie.”

Robbie moved to the delicate Belter chair he was determined to crush and sat down, while Lizard chose the velvet loveseat.

Mrs. Murphy sat back down. “My daughter is in the kitchen makin’ tea. I think she flew to India to gather the leaves,” she said, amused, but with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

Colleen came into the room holding a tray. “I heard that, Mum!” She set the tray on a marble-top coffee table.

Robbie said, eyeing Colleen, “What a lovely daughter you have, Mrs. Murphy!”

“Maggie,” Mrs. Murphy corrected. “Oh, please, you’ll give her a big head!”

Katherine sat down next to Lizard. Not because she wanted to be close to her guest, but it was the best vantage point in the room to observe Iris and her possible stalking of the fox wrap. She didn’t trust her. She knew her. There might be trouble. She regretted not putting Iris up in her room.

“Shall I pour?” Colleen said in a refined voice worthy of
Downton Abby
.

“Yes, please,” Katherine said.

“One lump or two,” Colleen said to Lizard.

“Four lumps of sugar, no more, no less,” Lizard said joyfully.

“None for me,” Robbie said. “Ladies, would you excuse me for a moment. Katz, where is your gentleman’s room?” he asked, standing up.

Katherine pointed. “Go out those pocket doors through the dining room to the kitchen, then turn left.”

Robbie walked out, the wood floorboards creaking beneath his every step. Mrs. Murphy passed around the tray with the scones.

“Delicious,” Lizard said. “I’ll have to have this recipe.”

“It’s a mix,” Colleen said and then countered, “Of course, I’ll write it out for you.”

They heard loud voices from the kitchen.

Katherine asked Colleen, “Who’s out there?”

“Cokey just stopped by to pick up that defective microwave.”

“Does anyone want cream in their tea?” Katherine asked, making an excuse. “I’ll go to the kitchen and get some,” she said, getting up.

“Who needs cream when I’ve got something better,” Mum said, pulling out her silver flask.

Lizard said, “Gimme a hit, too! Back in the day, I used to carry one in my stocking.”

“Mum,” Colleen scolded. “You took that out of my bag!”

Katherine stopped outside the kitchen door, and felt a little embarrassed about eavesdropping. Cokey sounded angry. Very angry. Robbie was trying to assure him about something, speaking in a calming voice.

“You better wipe that shit-eatin’ grin off your face before I knock your lights out,” Cokey threatened. “I
want
my money back,” he demanded. “I haven’t seen any returns on my investment like you promised.”

“You must be patient. This mutual fund makes distributions every three months. You haven’t given it enough time,” Robbie said in a quiet voice.

“Yes, I have. That’s my kids’ college fund that your fancy friends in New York are playing with. I’ll be by your office later to sign whatever I need to sign and get
out
of that fund. Got it? Have the papers ready!” Cokey stormed out of the room. Katherine could hear him opening and slamming the door to the back stairs to the basement. She hurried to the living room — not wanting Robbie to see her — and sat back down. Her heart sank when she heard Cokey say he had invested his children’s college fund.

Lizard was telling a story to Mrs. Murphy.

“Where’s the cream?” Colleen whispered.

“Oh, I changed my mind.”

Lizard continued and said to Katherine, “Your great aunt was quite the lady, but did you know she had a lover?”

Robbie came back into the room and admonished, “Mother, really. Katherine doesn’t want to hear that.”

“No, actually I do.” Katherine leaned closer to Lizard to hear more.

“Inquiring minds . . .” Colleen encouraged.

“He was her chauffeur for a number of years. Everyone in town knew what was going on.”

“What happened to him?” Katherine asked.

“He died in the Battle of the Bulge — 1944, I believe. Orvenia was devastated.”

“How tragic,” Katherine said.

Lizard continued. “War hasn’t been kind to Orvenia or me. My husband — Robbie’s father — died in the Vietnam War. We’d only been married a few years. Robbie was a surprise baby. I was thirty-nine when I had him.”

Doing the math in her head, Katherine blurted, “Was Robbie’s dad a general?”

Lizard laughed. “He was a second lieutenant. You see, Katz, I preferred younger men. I was fourteen years older than Robert, Senior.”

Katherine thought,
Maybe son takes after his mother. Preferring younger partners.

Colleen’s eyes suddenly widened as she looked past the house guests. She moved forward in her chair and began making hand gestures to Katherine. First, she made cat ears with her fingers, then the sign of pulling. She pointed at the chair where the Brentwoods had placed their coats. No one but Katherine noticed her pantomime.

Katherine saw the fox wrap slowly slide off the chair. Scout and Abra were dragging it out of the room. She got up and quickly moved over to the site, but it was too late. Scout and Abra had the wrap in the atrium and were attacking the fox heads. Iris joined in. A wrestling match ensued. It wasn’t clear to whom the kill belonged. And then snarls, hissing and growling began.

“Give it to me,” Katherine demanded. Scout and Abra both had the wrap in their teeth — tearing at it like a tug-of-war. “Now,” she said adamantly. She snatched the wrap away from the rowdy cats and slowly walked back into the living room. She felt all eyes upon her.

“I’m so sorry,” she apologized to Lizard. She handed her the disheveled wrap.

Robbie and Colleen burst out laughing.

Lizard said, “Don’t worry, my dear. I’ve had that wrap forever and it has survived many battles.”

Robbie glanced at his mother with a
what did that mean
expression.

“Oh, a plague of moths one season!” Lizard laughed, then announced, “Son, I’ve grown very tired. I think it’s time to say thank you and good bye to our fine hosts.”

Robbie walked over and took his mother by the hand. He helped her with her coat and ceremoniously wrapped the fur wrap around her neck. Walking out of the mansion, Lizard said to Katherine. “We’ll keep in touch. There is so much more I can tell you about your great aunt.” She winked and then left with her surprisingly quiet but attentive son.

Before closing the door, Katherine did a quick look-see up and down Lincoln Street to make sure that PETA activists weren’t poised to launch a paint bomb attack on the unsuspecting couple. The street was empty. “Close call,” Katherine sighed and shut the door.

Colleen said to her mum, “You shouldn’t have given her that booze! No wonder she was tired.”

*              *              *

The pink mansion’s back office and kitchen became the staging ground for the production of items to be sold at the fundraising event on the following Saturday. Colleen’s mum sat in front of a sewing machine, racing through yet another cat cozy blanket to sell at the Erie holiday event. Katherine and Colleen were in the kitchen icing cookies in the shape of cats —mostly headless.

Katherine complained, “I don’t understand how this happened. Their heads were intact when I put them in the oven.”

“I think we can just use icing to join them — like a decorative cat collar,” Colleen said with a grin.

“How many more do we have to bake?” Katherine said counting them. “We’ve got four dozen right now, minus the ones you ate.”

“Me! I only ate the tailless ones,” Colleen argued.

Mrs. Murphy called into the room, “Hey, the two of you! I could use some help.”

Colleen began laughing. She couldn’t stop. She sat back on the aluminum chair, tipped her head back and laughed more. “Katz, this is a comedy act. Who will buy a headless cat cookie?”

“I don’t know, but maybe we should put more flour in the next batch,” Katz said, determined to make the venture a success. Then she noticed her friend was using green icing to frost the cookies. “Carrot top, there’s no such thing as a green cat.”

“Well, missy, I remember you saying I had creative license. So, bite the bullet. I choose the colors.”

Mrs. Murphy yelled in, “Stop fussin’, you two. Katz, one of your cats is doin’ something to your computer.”

Katherine dried her hands on her apron, and with Colleen, sprinted into the office.

“What are you talking about?” Katherine asked. “I don’t see a cat.”