The Convenience of Lies (17 page)

I'm not at all aware that Tyler and Kira have been watching me try to walk and are laughing at me.

Once I stop worrying, I start enjoying the lack of control. I start walking around my kitchen, laughing at myself. “This is sooo weird!” I cackle.

“Give me a tour of your house, Mackenzie!” Tyler roars at me.

“Okay!” I joyfully agree. I meet him at the edge of the living room where the hallway juts off towards the bedrooms. I show him down the hallway, and he puts his arm around me, leaning greatly on me. Now, Tyler isn't a small guy by any means, so I'm getting crushed under his weight, but I don't even notice. “Now, this is my room,” I tell him loudly, making a cumbersome left into my bedroom, which is located at the back of my house.

“Oh, a window!!!” He exclaims, and runs over to it. It is dark outside, so Tyler peers out of it, and I do too. Cody is standing with Shane in the backyard outside of my window. I'm not sure at what point they went outside. Tyler comments, “There's that fag Cody. He looks like such a nerd.”

I honestly don't think this is funny, but I find myself giggling anyway. We turn to go back down the hall, and Tyler grabs my ass. I pretend I don't notice, which encourages Tyler, and he starts grabbing my hips and waist as well.

As we emerge back into the main area of my house, Kira sees what is going on, grabs Tyler, and drags him off. I wander around my kitchen, nibbling on the different treats Cody and Shane brought. I am still only half-way through my first drink. I start wondering where Kira and Tyler have gone, so I start doggedly looking for them.

When I finally spot Kira and Tyler, they are sitting together on the couch, which is on the back patio where Kira and I moved it to earlier today. I manage to open the sliding screen door and sit down on the other side of Tyler from Kira. Tyler gingerly puts his arms around the two of us.

Kira exclaims, “Tyler! You have boobs!” which is true, because Tyler is quite large. Kira reaches over and grabs the “boob” closest to her, and thinking that is funny, I do the same. Suddenly, Kira stands up, “I want more to drink,” and leaves Tyler and me alone. I finish off my first, and only, drink.

“Tyler! Look! I finished!” I say, almost bragging. He had wanted me to drink so badly, I am certain he will be thrilled that I just finished my first drink.

“Mackenzie, you are so awesome,” Tyler mumbles.

“You like me, don't you Tyler?” I ask, jokingly. This question has been on my mind for a few days, and now I feel free to say whatever I want. It's like there're no strings attached.

“Yes,” Tyler replies. I suddenly realize how close he is to me. He bends over, practically on top of me, and starts to kiss me.
Oh no, this is not what I wanted.
I feel Tyler's tongue slip into my mouth, lolling around. My stomach churns as I smell the rank alcohol on his breath, and I receive my first French kiss. Despite the circumstances, I am completely fascinated. I stop resisting because I am so curious about what it is like to French kiss; I have always been curious to find out.

However, Kira finally returns, drink in hand, and yells, “TYLER! Stop it!!!” She yanks Tyler off of me, which is quite an accomplishment, and drags him into the house.

Kira's intensity is like a slap back to reality.
Fuck! I didn't want that to happen!
I need to get away from this spot; it suddenly feels tainted with shame. I stumble into the house, but Tyler is there. I don't want Tyler to see me, so I stumble into the front yard. Once I get there, I'm not sure what to do. I stand in the driveway and stare at my surroundings. Everything just looks so surreal, like there's fluidity to it. The street lamp outside my house looks like it's pulsating. I marvel at this effect.

After just a minute of being out there, I am found. Tyler wanders up to me and tries to put his arm around me.

“Stop touching me, Tyler! Stop touching me!” I squeal, pushing him away.

“Mackenzie,” he moans pitifully, “I need to talk to you! I need to talk to you!”

I think this is fair enough, and we travel back into the living room. I sit down in a small chair only meant for one person, in an attempt to keep him from being able to touch me. Tyler glances around, and sits right on top of me. Despite how tight we are in the chair, I manage to move my knee in between Tyler and me, so that he can't reach my face.

“Why didn't you kiss me, Mackenzie?” Tyler asks, like he's pleading.

I was hoping he was going to try to apologize or something, but I still answer, “I did kiss you.”

“Barely,” Tyler says, and leans in for another kiss. But Tyler can't reach because my knee is in the way. Before I realize what he is up to, Tyler ends up kissing my chin instead.

I laugh at Tyler, “You missed!”

“I know,” he tries to kiss me again. I am ready this time, and purposely drive my knee into Tyler's chest so that he can't get near me. “Why can't I fucking reach?!?” Tyler whines stupidly.

Kira, closely followed by Shane and Cody, approach where we are sitting, crammed into that chair, “Oh my God you guys!” Once again she pulls Tyler off of me, and shoves him aside. She grabs me and throws me at Cody, “Take her into her room!” Kira commands him. It's like Kira has suddenly turned into a mother bear that is defending her cub. Somehow, I am mildly aware of how relieved I am that she's getting Tyler off of me.

Cody and Shane respond quickly to Kira's commands. They certainly don't want to get in the way of Mother Bear. The boys herd me down the hallway as quickly as they can, and soon I'm climbing into my bed. Finally I feel safe. I don't have to worry about moving around or about Tyler creeping up on me again. Unfortunately this moment of relief doesn't last long. I guess Tyler is too big for Kira to handle on her own; he's ambling down the hallway whining, “Where the fuck did you go, Mackenzie! Where are you?” He starts banging on my door, “Let me in, Mackenzie! Let me in!” Tyler throws all of his weight into my door, making the whole room rattle. Shane, Cody, and I all jump at the same time.

“Oh crap,” Cody says to Shane. “I need to support this door.”

Cody starts leaning on my door with all of his might. “Why won't you let me in, Mackenzie? I bet you are in there with that fag,
Cody
!” Tyler bangs on the door harder, if that is possible.

“You need to call someone who can get rid of Tyler. Who isn't the cops,” Cody tells me.

I look at him, and Tyler bangs into my door again, screeching, “Kira, I mean, Mackenzie! I want to see you!”

I know that Cody is right, that Tyler won't give it up. I need someone who is aggressive enough to scare away a drunken man before the cops come and screw my life over. Aggressive.
I know who is aggressive.
Ramon. I roll over and pick up the cordless landline phone in my room, and despite my stupor, I effectively dial Ramon's number.

“Ramon, you need to get over here right now and get rid of Tyler. Come make Tyler go away!” I screech into the phone over Tyler's constant uproar.

“I'll be there in five,” Ramon says, hanging up. I put down the phone, feeling relieved. We don't have anything to worry about anymore. I look at Cody and Shane, so grateful for everything they're doing for me. Without them, I have no idea how I would escape from Tyler. Then a huge bang reverberates from my bedroom door, shaking the room again.

“Help me brace it, Shane, or else the whole door is going to crack,” Cody says. The two boys start leaning against the door, and it seems like only their two feeble bodies are keeping Tyler from crashing in. As Tyler continues to fail to enter my room, he gets angrier and more aggressive with crashing into the door and yelling. Ramon needs to get here soon.

Right as I think this, I hear Ramon's voice, “Get the fuck out of here.” It sounds threatening and assertive… just what I was hoping for. Everybody knows not to mess with Ramon, especially when he is talking like that. I feel my body start to relax as I know that Ramon will be able to take care of the situation.

Tyler screeches pathetically, “Mackenzie, why the fuck did you call Ramon! You know I hate him!”

“Fuck you Tyler. Get the fuck out.” Ramon's and Tyler's voices are getting farther away.

Now all I can hear is Ramon's deep, angry voice and frantic screams from Tyler. Finally someone will be able to get rid of my tormentor! Cody peeks out of the door, and just as he does, he sees that Tyler is hurtling down the hall toward my room again, his feet pounding loudly on the wood floor. Quickly, Cody starts to close the door, and Ramon yells, “Leave it open!” Ramon steps in my doorway next to Cody, the both of them separating Tyler from me.

Shane and Ramon open their arms, making a barrier. “Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out, Tyler.” Despite the fact that there's no door there anymore, I still feel safer, knowing that Ramon is here for me. My heart floods open as waves of love and gratitude wash over me. He is protecting me. Nothing can harm me when Ramon is here; he's like Superman. Having this superhero looking out for my well-being moves me so much, I start crying.

Tyler says, “Mackenzie! I don't understand! Why won't you talk to me?” With Ramon here, I don't have the burden of having to answer to Tyler anymore. I don't have to feel guilty about not talking to him.

“Fuck you Tyler. Get the fuck out!” Ramon asserts again.

Tyler finally gives up, turns around, and runs out my front door. Ramon follows him outside, and I can hear people mumbling, “They are going to fight!”

But Kurt has already pulled up in my driveway. I suppose at some point Kira called Kurt and told him to collect Tyler. Tyler trips over his own feet trying to get away from Ramon, and crawls into Kurt's car. “Get him the fuck out of here!” Ramon says, slamming the car door behind Tyler. I hear the car drive away, and all is silent. Tyler is gone. Cody and Shane leave my room to see what condition the rest of my house is in, and Ramon slips in.

Finally I can be alone with Ramon. He pulls up my desk chair next to my bed. I notice how the moonlight is falling on his face, outlining his nose and his forehead. My heart skips a beat. Ramon looks so good. Plus, it's nice seeing someone who is sober. I have had my fill of drunks for the night.

“He's gone. Fuck Tyler,” Ramon says, but in a much softer tone than before. He has calmed down. I notice he has that knife, the one we found in the park from what feels like an eternity ago. Ramon has just one of the blades open. Seeing where my eyes have landed, Ramon deftly closes the blade and pockets the knife.

“Thank you,” I say. I'm worried that since I have created such a mess, Ramon won't like me anymore. I have made myself look like such an idiot; I don't see why anyone would like me anymore. “Do you hate me?”

“No, why would I hate you?”

I don't have an answer for him; I think Ramon will think my fear is stupid. But I am so relieved, I can feel a tear trickling down my face. I have been teary a lot this evening. Ramon reaches over and wipes the tear off of my cheek. This just makes me cry even more, and I hide under the covers. I'm wondering how anybody can be so sweet, but still not like me more than a friend. I wish I could tell him how much I love him, right here, right now, but I can't. Not being able to tell him hurts me sooo much.

I don't want to ignore my savior, so I poke my head back out of my covers. Ramon is leaning toward me with a softened expression on his face. I feel like this is my special moment with my dashing knight in shining armor.

All of a sudden, Kira wanders into the room, interrupting our moment. “Oh, hey guys.” She sits down on the floor and starts babbling, “Mackenzie, I hit Tyler. He was really pissing me off, and I just slapped him. He stumbled. It was really funny. I slapped him again.” She laughs, “It felt so good….”

By now Ramon and I are tuning out Kira. She doesn't even seem to notice that we are not paying attention to her anymore. And so, Ramon turns and asks me in undertones, “What is she doing here?”

I realize that he still thinks our staged fight was real. “We pretended we got into a fight so that you would tell me what you knew. But, I haven't told her what you said! I decided not to,” I explain, perhaps a little more boldly than I intended to. I watch Ramon's face for his reaction, but he just nods, and then asks me, “How much has she drunk?”

“I'm not sure. Two, no three Smirnoff's, and some beer. I don't know. At first she was trying to hide from me that she was drinking,” I reply.

With Kira still blabbing in the background, Ramon nods at me, and says that he is going to go see how the rest of my house is. As he leaves, I protest a little bit, but I figure he is going to come back, so it's cool.

Cody comes into my room, looks at Kira talking to herself on the floor, and then looks at me with a forced smile.

“Do you hate me, Cody?” I ask him.

“No, I don't hate you. I think that you had a learning experience, and you won't do it again,” he says robotically.

“I'm sorry,” I say, feeling a horrible guilt stirring inside me. More tears start sliding down my cheeks.

“Look, Mackenzie, I am going to come over tomorrow with Shane, and we are going to help you wash the floors,” he says.

At the mention of “tomorrow,” suddenly a beam of light penetrates my fuzzy mind. I've just remembered that it's going to be Cody's birthday. “NO! I don't want you to come tomorrow because it's your birthday! Shane can come, but I don't want you to,” I say very strongly. I don't want to ruin Cody's birthday any more than I already have.

“You know what, that was really rude,” he says, looking at me like I'm a total bitch, stirring the pot of guilt in my stomach.

I don't want him to be mad at me, so I say, “You can come, but only if you want to, I don't want to ruin your birthday.” I don't understand how I offended Cody by telling him not to help me on his birthday, since this is my mess to get out of. I don't want to drag him down because of my stupidity.

“I want to come. Seriously. I like helping friends; it's what I do.”

I believe Cody. I do need his help anyway.

It takes me a second to remember everything that happened last night when I wake up in the morning. Then it all comes rushing back like a wave trying to pull me down into the ocean. Now that we've all had a chance to sober up, is Kira going to be furious because I called Ramon over to help get rid of Tyler? When is Cody coming over, and is Shane going to join him? I wonder what last night meant for Ramon; has anything changed between us? How is Tyler… actually I don't want to think about Tyler. All that does is instill a sick fear into the pit of my stomach.

I look at my cell phone to see if I have any of my answers there. I see that I have five missed calls and five voice messages. I start listening to these and realize they are all drunken messages from Tyler. Instead of being angry, these messages sound whiny and pitiful. “Kira! No, I mean, Mackenzie! Why aren't you answering your phone? I am sorry! I don't even know what I am sorry for! Please, Mackenzie, just tell me, why did you call Ramon? I don't understand, I thought we were friends.” All five of the messages go on like this. I start to not listen to them and just delete them, hoping he won't call anymore. I'm thinking I have a pretty good chance of this since the last message he left me was at 3:21 am.

However, this wish doesn't last long because right after I think this, my cell rings. The caller ID shows me it is Tyler. I don't answer it, and after my phone rings, it beeps, telling me I have another voice message. This one sounds stronger than the other messages and not so frail and drunk as the previous ones.

“Mackenzie I really need to talk to you. Please call me back.”

Not in a million years
. I erase the message.

I get out of bed and evaluate how I feel. Pretty good. I don't have any headache or nausea. But something just feels off. I'm not sure how to describe it; it's like I'm watching myself rather than being a part of myself. I stand up, and I don't feel my head spinning or anything. My legs feel like I can depend on them. I start to walk into my kitchen, and everything seems to be working. Even so, I go straight for the faucet and pour myself a glass of water. I've heard it's really important to drink lots of water after consuming alcohol so as to avoid getting dehydrated.

Pretty soon Cody and Shane show up to help me clean. Cody starts helping me wipe down the kitchen floor, and once I get into a good flow, he heads over to the living room. I give him a questioning look. “Kira and Tyler spilled some Smirnoff Ice,” he says, answering my question. “My mom has shown me an excellent way to get stains out of carpets. Your mom won't have any idea what happened when she gets back.”

“Thank you,” I tell him, hardly comprehending the gift he is giving me. My mind still feels a bit numb.

“No problem!” He starts working on the living room carpet while I keep at the kitchen. Shane goes around picking up bottles and trash that have been strewn around the house. The whole job takes about an hour.

After we have finished cleaning, I hear my cell phone ringing again. Once more, Tyler is trying to call me. Shane sees me checking my phone, “Who is it?”

“Tyler. He keeps calling me because he wants to talk,” I explain.

“Why don't you pick it up?” Cody asks as the phone continues ringing.

“Because I don't want to.” The phone has stopped ringing. “I don't want to talk to Tyler ever again.” Just thinking of Tyler makes my insides feel all twisted up and makes my pulse quicken.

“Okay, let me pick it up next time it rings,” Cody says.

“Sure.”

Almost as soon as we are done saying this, my cell rings again.

“Hello,” Cody answers. “You can't talk to Mackenzie…She isn't here right now…She left her cell phone behind…I don't know when she'll be back…ok, bye.” Cody and I look at each other and laugh; we are being so mischievous!

Cody answering my phone both protects me from having to talk to Tyler, and is amusing. “Cody why don't you just answer the phone every time he calls. It's funny.”

“Ok, let's act like it's prank calls in reverse! That will be great!”

I giggle and totally agree, “Shane can answer too.”

The next time the phone rings, I check to see if it is indeed Tyler, and see that it's actually Ramon calling.

“Mackenzie, can I come over?”

“Right now? Sure, Cody and Shane are here, but you can come, too.” Ramon is coming over! This couldn't get any better for me. I don't have to deal with Tyler anymore; I am now surrounded by supportive friends,
and
my crush is coming over on his own accord.

My cell phone rings again. This time it is Tyler, so Cody answers.

“Hello?” He says in an incredibly fake Mexican accent. “No comprehend-o…no English…no English, bye.”

I am laughing so hard my sides are bursting. Clearly Cody can't speak Spanish one bit!

Before I realize how much time has passed by, Ramon arrives. He sits down at the table with Shane, Cody, and me. I say, “Tyler keeps calling me, but I won't answer.”

“Why not?”

“I don't want to talk to him. I'm letting Cody answer. It's really funny,” I reply.

My cell phone rings once again.

“Hello, excuse me for a moment, I have just finished relieving my bowels,” Cody answers, heading over to the bathroom. He flushes the toilet. “Sorry about that, but I am really busy and have to go.” Cody finishes, hanging up on Tyler before he can say a word. I am laughing even harder this time.

“Have you been doing this all day?” Ramon asks.

“Yeah, Tyler won't get the picture and stop calling me. I think he deserves it,” I say, regaining my composure again from laughing.

“Let me answer it next time,” Ramon says to Cody.

“Okay.”

Right after this exchange, my phone goes haywire again. Ramon puts on a really raspy voice, “Meet me at Mayfair Park at 8:00…Mayfair Park…8:00…meet me at Mayfair Park at 8:00.”

It sounds like Ramon wants to fight Tyler, but there is nothing I can do about it while Tyler is on the phone; there is no way I am going to interfere in case Tyler hears me, and I certainly don't want him to know I'm actually present. Besides, Ramon is probably just teasing Tyler like we all are. By this point everyone is holding back snickers, and I can feel tears squeezing out of my eyes. Tyler just can't seem to understand what Ramon is saying, even though he is being really explicit.

Once Ramon finally gets off of the phone with Tyler, I ask Ramon if he is planning to fight Tyler, just in case. “No,” he answers, “I am not going to go to Mayfair Park at all. I just think it will be funny if he does.”

The next time my cell rings, it is Kira calling.

I answer it, “Hello…no, nobody wants to fight Tyler…oh yeah, I have his CDs…that's why I want him to meet me at Mayfair Park…don't worry, I don't want to hurt Tyler…yeah, you can come over here, bye.”

“We need to give his CDs back,” I say to Ramon.

“You should meet him, Mackenzie,” Shane remarks.

“I do not want to,” I say defiantly.

“I will give them back,” Ramon offers.

“Okay, you can, but just promise me you won't fight Tyler. I don't want you to,” I tell him earnestly.

“I won't, don't worry about it,” he tells me. “I am going to go since Kira is coming over.”

I am sad to see him leave, but I do want to see Kira also.

Almost a minute after Ramon leaves, Kira is knocking on my door. “Mackenzie I made Tyler drive me over here; he was beginning to scare me.”

“Why were you even hanging out with Tyler after last night?” I ask her.

“I don't know, but I won't anymore,” she says, rubbing her head.

We all start getting comfortable again, and I make dinner for everybody, ravioli with tomato sauce, one of my favorites. As it draws closer to 8:00 pm, I get nervous. Ramon didn't take Tyler's CDs when he left, and he hasn't tried to come by to get them. Just when I start to think about possibly calling him, my doorbell rings. I answer it to find Ramon and Scott on my front porch.

“Kira's here,” I say in an undertone, keeping the door just cracked, hoping Kira won't see or hear anything.

“Fuck. She is?!? I'll just go, then.”

“Don't you need the CDs?” I ask.

“No, don't worry about it; I am just going to meet Tyler,” he rushes.

“Ramon, don't fight Tyler. Promise me?” I plead.

“Okay, okay, I promise,” he says, heading back into Scott's car.

I turn back into the house, and Kira asks me, “Mackenzie, was that Ramon?”

Shit. She figured out who it was. At this point, I figure it's best to just be honest. “Yes.”

She gets a withdrawn look on her face, and I notice that she starts playing with her cell. I know that she is texting Tyler. Whose side is she on?

As I think this, Ramon calls me again.

“Mackenzie, could you go outside so that Kira can't hear you?” he says.

“Sure, just a second,” I reply.

I head out my door, and right as I open it, I see Tyler and Dimitri walking up to my front porch.

“Oh fuck!” I slam the door closed. “Shit! Ramon, get over here right now!” I crash to the floor and start bracing the door, much like Cody and Shane had last night. In a sudden rush, all of my fear and anxiety from last night take over me. It's like I have been stung by a ginormous bee, and I can feel its venom coursing through my body. I am completely unaware of my surroundings; all I can focus on is blocking the door and that fear, that venom, spreading throughout my body, paralyzing me. Finally, I gasp to Ramon, “Tyler and Dimitri are here! Get over here as fast as you can!!!”

“OPEN THE DOOR, DIMITRI IS MY BROTHER!!!!” Kira shouts, running from the kitchen into my living room where Tyler's CDs are still sitting, grabs them, and then storms up to my front door. I am still paralyzed on the ground, talking to Ramon and blocking the door. Kira pushes me aside, surprising me with her ferocity, and runs outside with Tyler's CDs. I listen to her give the CDs to Tyler, and say, “Goodbye,” to her brother and Tyler as they leave. I find myself wishing she had left with them because she clearly isn't happy here. But instead, she comes back inside and sits herself down at my dinner table with Cody and Shane. I somehow manage to untangle myself and join them at the table.

There is a tense silence. I am still shaking from the encounter. Finally I break the silence, “Kira, you told Tyler that Ramon was going to fight him, didn't you?” I say, trying, but failing, to not sound accusatory.

“Well what do you expect of me, Mackenzie? I can't let anything happen to Tyler,” she says sharply, almost like she's accusing me. Clearly she thinks I had intended for Tyler to get jumped.

I see Cody and Shane share a glance and start hurrying to finish their dinners. They definitely don't want to get in between us, and certainly don't want to be here as our fight starts mounting.

“
Ramon wasn't going to fight Tyler
!!!” I say forcefully, totally overblown now. Kira likes to believe what she wants to, not the actual truth. She is trying to make my simple arrangement to return the CDs to Tyler a lot more dramatic than it really is. But she always over-dramatizes everything. She obviously is not thinking logically about what she knows about me. She knows I don't approve of fighting. If she would just stop to think about me and my integrity, she would know it is stupid to think that I would ever set someone up for a fight.

“Okay, whatever,” Kira says, crossing her arms and legs, screwing her lips, and intentionally looking away from me. I know that this fight is going to continue, and I want it to. There's a lot of unsaid business between us.

Cody and Shane clear away their plates. “Thank you. We're going now,” Cody declares as the two boys quickly head for the door. I can't blame them for wanting to escape.

“Okay, bye,” I say with an edge to my voice. “Do you want me to take you home?” I ask Kira.
It's the least I can do, she is my friend.

“Will you?” She sounds surprised.

“Yes,” I say, telling myself that driving her home is the right thing to do.

“Thanks.”

We head out to my car and sit in an angry silence while I back out of my driveway.

“Why did you come over today?” I ask. I feel like Kira had been out to ruin our plans to get the CDs back to Tyler as soon as she stepped into my house.

“I wanted to find some comfort. But I found less,” she replies with an edge to her voice.

I need her to understand what was really going on, what she was actually witnessing. “Kira, you have no idea how scared I was last…”

She cuts me off. “Mackenzie, you are acting like such a baby, seriously.”

She has been hanging out with Tyler all day, so obviously she has been brainwashed by his version of what happened. She needs to hear my side. “You won't even listen to me! You have no idea how scared I am of Tyler! He's like…”

She cuts me off again. “Mackenzie, you are a traitor! You set Tyler up today!”

“I am not a traitor! I can't believe that you would even hang out with Tyler! You know what he did last night! Why are you listening to him instead of me!?!” I can't believe she is taking someone else's word over mine, her best friend. She's not even giving me a chance to explain myself. I had nothing to do with “setting Tyler up,” as she calls it. I didn't tell Ramon to say what he did on the phone. We were just messing around.

“Why did you call Ramon last night? You wanted Ramon to fight Tyler!” She answers her own question immediately, not giving me a moment to stick up for myself.

“No I didn't! I wanted Ramon to get rid of Tyler!” My fury is now white hot, and I know I am losing concentration on my driving.

“Mackenzie, if you think Ramon is your friend after all that he did, then you are crazy! You can either have Ramon, or me!” she rages.

What she doesn't know is that I have already made a decision regarding an ultimatum like the one she just gave me. I will always choose the other person, meaning in this case, I will choose Ramon. By giving me an ultimatum, Kira is showing me that she is only self-serving and controlling. “Ramon is a good friend to me!”

“You just say that because you like Ramon!!! You are crazy, Mackenzie! Get over him! Ramon doesn't like you! You are CRAZY!!!!” She is screaming at me by this point, and I am gripping the steering wheel with all my might.