The Cowboy Soldier (8 page)

“This oil is a blend of bergamot and patchouli. Both potent manly scents.”

Great,
Rafe thought. If he felt any more potently masculine, they’d both be in trouble.

“No kidding,” was all he said. But despite his heightened awareness of Alexa’s touch, Rafe was almost asleep by the time she finished and told him to sit up. He did and shrugged both shoulders. “I suppose now that you’ve got me all rag-doll relaxed, you’ll talk me into acupuncture.”

Alexa turned aside to store her oils. “Rafe, I want you to progress at your own pace. You tell me when you’re ready.”

Rafe already missed the touch of her soothing hands, but a man knew when he’d had enough.

“Not so far,” he told her. “What I’m doing with the mare comes totally from memory.”

“There’s no progress?” She sounded disappointed. “I pray every day. Oh, by the way, Rafe, earlier this week a counselor from the VA called to speak with you. Ms. Holmes. I explained you’re seeing Dr. Robinson, our local healer. She didn’t sound pleased. Do you think I made a mistake bringing you here? I don’t want to get you in trouble with the VA, Rafe.”

“You did right, Sierra. I never expected to, but I’m feeling better each day.”

“If you’re sure….” His sister’s uncertainty hung between them even as she set down his bundle of dirty clothes and hugged him goodbye.

Alexa walked out of the barn and waved goodbye, all the while wondering if Sierra’s doubts were valid. And yet after their visit to the hot springs and the massage therapy that followed, she could sense the protective layers peeling away from Rafe and found he was engaging more in the world around him.

Still, she worried she was growing too attached. Maybe Rafe hadn’t come to her expecting a cure, but she was pretty certain he believed it possible now. He pressed her for success stories involving alternative treatments, and he started to sound hopeful that they would restore his sight.

But what if she made him worse?
That worry caused Alexa sleepless nights.

Thursday, after supper, seemingly out of the blue, Rafe said, “I’m ready to take the next step with those needles, Alexa.”

“You mean acupuncture?” Her heart skipped. If the oldest remedy in her bag of tricks didn’t help Rafe, there would be no reason for him to remain at her ranch. She’d grown used to having him around and the thought of saying goodbye hurt. Why, oh why had she agreed to treat him?

She told Rafe she wasn’t sure he was ready yet but knew she couldn’t put him off forever.

“You’ve answered a million of my questions,” he went on, his enthusiasm evident. “I understand it’s an art of healing discovered twenty-five hundred years ago by the Chinese. I get that there’s no modern medical rationale, and that a lot of doctors say it’s no better than a placebo. But I’m ready to give it a whirl. I want to start today.”

“To…day?” Alexa’s voice cracked. “Why the rush?” She straightened.

“During yesterday’s hot-rock massage you said my yin and yang are out of whack. If you believe what you said about Qi being the vital flow of a person’s energy, then why are you reluctant to try to unblock mine?”

Lordy, the man had been paying attention.

Alexa reached for his hand. “Rafe, I c-care about you,” she stammered. “I swear I only want what’s best for you. But…in all of my books on acupuncture I’ve found no proven treatment to reverse blindness.”

Rafe turned his hand over and brought hers to his mouth. The searing heat from his lips sent fiery shocks up her arm. “I know you care, Alexa. That comes through in everything you’ve done for me, even when I was a real pain in the ass those first few days. I never thought I’d ever care about anything again, but
you
brought about a change.”

He ran his thumb over her fingers and the heat in Alexa grew.

“The truth is,” Rafe said simply, “I’m no longer content to imagine what you look like. I want to
see
you, Alexa.”

Her heart threatened to leap out of her chest. By sheer will she forced herself to calm down. “Rafe…I’m flattered.” She snatched back her hand. She wanted to do the right thing here—to set the right tone. “I realize that because this is my home and not a regular clinic, you might view our therapy as less professional than the treatment you’d get with the VA.”

“Bull pucky,” Rafe broke in. “I’ve made more progress here than all those months with the military.”

He was so close to her, Alexa could feel his heat. She could barely find the words to speak. “You’re, ah, certainly more…alert.”

He reached for her and slid his hands up and down her upper arms. “Then explain your problem.”

She turned her head away from his handsome face in order to pull her thoughts together. “Holistic medicine is as serious as traditional medicine. As my patient, Rafe, you need to be fully committed—you need to totally want a cure for yourself.”

He sobered. “I couldn’t be any more committed, Alexa.”

His words blew away the last of her arguments. “All right,” she managed to say as she wedged a bigger space between them. “I’ll set up for your first treatment right after I feed the animals.”

The minute Rafe dropped his hands, Alexa grabbed her gloves and streaked out the back door. Not until she stepped inside the cool wild-animal barn did she stop cursing her inability to resist Rafe.

But, true to her word, once she’d finished her chores and had washed up, she put a new cover on the massage table in her office.

“Take off your shirt and lie face up,” she told Rafe when she’d set up everything she needed. At least she’d regained her clinical objectivity.

He stripped off his blue shirt and stretched out on his back as she’d directed.

The sight of him shirtless caused a now familiar tightness in Alexa’s belly. As she’d done every day since they’d first started massage, she did her best to ignore the feeling. “I’ll work mainly on meridians around your head and shoulders today with sterile, disposable needles. Each is no thicker than a hair.” She pulled on plastic gloves and swabbed the areas with alcohol.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he murmured.

Alexa had torn open a pack of needles. “We can stop right here.”

“No. Go on. You said there are rarely complications.” There was only a hint of curiosity in the statement but no reservation.

“True. You may feel a little prick, but it shouldn’t hurt.” She’d done the procedure scores of times, but still, this was Rafe. Alexa held her breath as she inserted the first needle at the midpoint between his eyes. He didn’t bat a lash. Slowly, ever so slowly, she continued around his hairline and behind his ears.

He was fully relaxed by the time she reached the trapezius muscles that ran from his neck to his shoulder. Alexa went back and spun the strategic needles gently. Then she began removing them. The whole process took twenty minutes.

“Your first session is over,” she said, taking off her gloves and tossing them and the needles in a special waste receptacle. “It’s not uncommon to be dizzy, so sit up slowly.”

“That’s it?” Rafe sat up, moved his head side to side and blinked several times.

“How do you feel?”

“I feel nothing. A while ago I experienced a brief, deep ache at the back of my head.” He held out his hands and frowned. “Everything’s still black.”

“Success isn’t instantaneous, Rafe. You’ll need more sessions—once or twice a week.”

“Twice a week,” he said, climbing off the table. “I want the fast track.”

She handed him his shirt. “We’ll try another session Tuesday.”

Plainly restless and frustrated, Rafe retreated to his room.

In a way, Alexa was relieved. But she couldn’t help feeling another dip in her confidence as an effective healer.

Over the weekend it was obvious Rafe was disappointed. Except for meals and the hours he spent with Esperanza, he kept to his room.

She’d tried to make him be realistic in his expectations, Alexa thought, but maybe he was still putting too much store in the procedure. And what if all the teachers who’d called her gifted had been dead wrong?

“Dog found you. What’s with you? Don’t you want to treat me?”

“What a thing to ask. Of course I do. But I also want you to be realistic. Acupuncture is no guarantee you’ll get your sight back.”

He heard her return the fox babies to their cage and drop the bottles she used to feed them into a basket.

Alexa brushed past him. “Be sure to latch the door. I’ll meet you in the office after I put these in the dishwasher, and then scrub up.”

Their second session was similar to the first, except Alexa added electric stimulation to some of the needles. Rafe fell asleep during the procedure.

Alexa had to shake him awake after she removed the needles.

Yawning, he sat up more slowly than before, then he stretched out his hands before him. But this time Rafe saw more than darkness.

“Alexa.” His voice rose excitedly. “It’s working. The acupuncture.” He slid off the table and hugged her hard. “I can distinguish shapes,” he shouted. “They’re murky, but…” Finding her face, he planted a kiss squarely on her lips.

Rafe felt her rise up on tiptoes and lose herself in the kiss. She clasped his waist, and his bare skin grew hot at her touch. Gripping him tighter, she pressed closer until their thighs met.

Rafe ground his pelvis against hers. Then he tilted his head and slanted his lips over her mouth, deepening the kiss. Breathing heavily, he lifted his head a fraction. “I can see your outline, Alexa.”

He ran his thumbs over her cheekbones, confident from her response that she was as aroused as he was. He would tell her exactly how he felt. “It’s the first step. When I can see all of you, I’m taking you skinny dipping in the hot springs. I’ll carry you every step of the way. Alexa, do you have any idea how many nights I dream of that? Every one since our first trip there.”

Even as Rafe lifted her feet off the floor and spun around, he could feel her tense. “Rafe, stop!” She wiggled until he let her slide down the length of him and her feet landed on the tile floor.

She broke free and he forced himself not to reach out for her again. “Rafe, I’m happy for you. Distinguishing shadows is fantastic. But we can’t get carried away. I thought I made it clear on Friday that everything we’re doing is to help you get well again—it’s professional therapy. Rafe, I’m a doctor. You’re my patient.”

He laughed, bent and kissed her again.

“I mean it, Rafe. This is…not ethical.” Her voice was not that of a woman who wanted to be kissed.

He recoiled as if she’d slapped him.
He was nothing but a patient to her?
Stunned after experiencing such joy, he grabbed up his shirt and shrugged it on. The shadowy outlines of the massage table, a bookcase and shelves with rows of bottles floated before him in a black mist. The truth hit him like a brick. Why would a woman like Alexa ever want to saddle herself with a guy like him? Someone who couldn’t even distinguish what she looked like? He knew she had a narrow face. And heavenly soft lips. But that was it. He wasn’t a whole man, and she’d been trying to break it to him over the last week that he might never be completely healed.

Her hand rested on his bare arm but he pulled away.

“Don’t look like that, Rafe.” Her voice was calmer now. “The last thing I want is to hurt your feelings. But I’m right about this. You know I am. A doctor has to tread a fine line. It’s easy to fall for a patient. Especially when we’re living here together. It’s practically inevitable. But I can’t ever forget that your sister placed her trust in my ability to heal you, Rafe, not to seduce you.”

He was already feeling like a complete fool. No use hanging around just to be hurt more.

“Forget it,” he said gruffly. “You made your point. Friday’s my next session, right?”

Taking extra care not to brush against her, Rafe fled the office for the sanctuary of his room.