The Crown (The Selection) (11 page)

“Is said
oh
.
Kohl-may
.”

“
Ooh
.
Ooh
,” I tried.

He lifted his hand and gently put his fingers on my cheeks, trying to change the shape of my mouth, and it tickled. I broke into a smile, unable to even make the sound he was going for in the first place. But he held my face all the same. After a moment, the humor left his eyes, and I recognized the look in them. I’d seen it before, in the kitchen, when he’d turned his shirt into an apron for me.

It was such a captivating stare, I completely forgot there were other people in the room.

Until Erik dropped a book on the other desk. “Excellent,” he said, and I pulled away from Henri as quickly as I could, praying that no one had noticed what had nearly just happened.

“It looks like you’re all doing well with the numbers, so we’re going to start using them in sentences. If you’ll look up at the board here, I’ve got a written example; but as I’m sure you’ve already guessed, the pronunciation is a bit tricky.”

The boys laughed, seeming to have struggled with the numbers as much as I had … and also seeming to have been too engrossed to have noted my almost kiss. I focused my gaze on the board, trying to take in the phonetics of the words in front of me instead of focusing on how close Henri was sitting.

T
HE FIRST FREE MOMENT
I
had that day was lunch, and I knew I needed to use the time to focus on damage control. While everyone headed off to the dining room after our Finnish lesson, I went back to my office and pulled Marid’s card from my desk drawer. It was clearly made from expensive paper. I wondered what his family was doing now to afford that. They must have done well for themselves, wherever their path had taken them.

I dialed the number, kind of hoping he wouldn’t pick up.

“Hello?”

“Yes, um, Marid?”

“Eadlyn, is that you?”

“Yes.” I fidgeted, straightening out my clothes, even though he couldn’t see me. “Is this an okay time?”

“Absolutely. How can I help you, Your Highness?”

“I just wanted to say, I saw some speculation about our relationship in the press the other day.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m sorry about that. You know how they can take a thing out of context.”

“I do,” I nearly exclaimed. “And really, I wanted to apologize to you. I know what an upheaval it can be when someone’s life is caught up in mine, and I’m sorry you’ve been going through that.”

“Eh, let ’em talk,” he replied with a laugh. “Really, no apology necessary. But while I’ve got you, I wanted to run an idea past you.”

“Sure.”

“I know you’ve been worried about the post-caste violence, and I thought it might be good for you to have something like a town hall session.”

“What do you mean?”

“You could choose a handful of people from various backgrounds to come to the palace and sit down with you personally. It would be a unique opportunity to hear from your people, and if you invited the press, it might also be a rather spectacular opportunity to show how well the palace listens to its people.”

I was stunned. “Actually, that’s a wonderful idea.”

“If you want, I can take care of most of the arrangements for you. I have a few links with some families that used to be Eights, as well as some that have had a hard time letting go of their Two status. Maybe we could plan on inviting a dozen or so people, so you wouldn’t be overwhelmed?”

“Marid, that sounds perfect. I’m going to have my lady-in-waiting call you. Her name is Neena Hallensway, and she’s as organized as you seem to be. She knows my schedule and would be the best person to talk to about a time and date.”

“Excellent. I’ll wait to hear from her.”

There was a long silence, and I wasn’t quite sure how to break away.

“Thank you,” I tried. “Now more than ever, I really need to prove how much I care about my people. I want them to know that, in a few years, I’ll be as able to lead them as my father.”

“How anyone could doubt that is a mystery to me.”

I smiled, thrilled to have added another ally to my arsenal. “Sorry to rush off, but I must be going.”

“Not at all. We’ll talk again soon.”

“Of course. Good-bye.”

“Good-bye.”

I hung up the phone and sighed in relief. That wasn’t as awkward as I’d been fearing it would be. Marid’s words rang in my ears.
Let ’em talk.
I knew they always would. Hopefully soon, they’d have something positive to say.

“W
AIT, WHICH WAY DO THESE
guys move again?” Hale asked before reaching over and picking up two petits fours and setting them on his plate.

“Bishops move diagonally. I wouldn’t do that if I was you, but it’s your funeral.”

He laughed. “Okay. What about the little castle ones?”

“Straight lines, either side to side or back and forth.”

He moved his rook, taking another one of my pawns. “Honestly, I never would have pegged you for a chess girl.”

“I’m not really. Ahren used to be obsessed, and he forced me to play with him every single day for months. But then he got serious about Camille, and all his chess time turned into letter-writing time.”

I moved my bishop and took his knight.

“Ugh, I didn’t even see that,” he lamented between bites. “I’ve been wanting to ask you about Ahren, but I wasn’t sure if you were up for it.”

I shrugged, prepared to dismiss the invitation, but instead I reminded myself that if I was going to have a shot at happiness at all, I had to let someone past my walls. Sighing, I told the truth.

“I miss him. It’s like I grew up with a built-in best friend, and now he’s gone. I have other people I’m close to, like my lady-in-waiting, Neena. I don’t think I realized how much I was relying on her until Ahren was gone and I could see it. But it makes me afraid. What if I get to the point I did with Ahren, where she’s the person I go to with everything, and then something happens and she leaves?”

Hale nodded as he listened, and I could see he was trying to suppress a smile.

“This isn’t funny!” I complained, chucking one of his lost pawns at him.

He laughed out loud, dodging the throw. “No, I’m not smiling because of that. It’s just … the last time we talked like this you ran. You’re not wearing sneakers under that gown, are you?”

“Not at all. They wouldn’t go together,” I teased. “No, really, I should have trusted you then, and I do trust you now. Sorry if I’m slow. Opening up to people is not a skill of mine.”

“No rush. I’m a pretty patient person.”

I couldn’t take the eye contact anymore, so I focused on the board, watching his hands hover above the grid.

“As for how you feel about Neena,” Hale went on, “even if she did have to leave, that wouldn’t make her less of a friend any more than it makes Ahren less of your brother. You might have to work harder to keep in touch, but if you love them as much as you say, it’ll be worth it.”

“I know that’s true,” I admitted. “It’s already pretty difficult for me to make friends, seeing as I don’t get out much. So I kind of need to keep the ones I have.”

Hale chuckled, and I missed what he did on the board. “Well, I just want to go on record and say that even if you don’t choose me, you have my friendship for life, and I’ll be on a plane to Angeles in a heartbeat if you ever need me.”

I smiled. “Something every day.”

He nodded. “Every day.”

“I really needed to hear that. Thank you.” I sat up taller and began to plan my next move. “What about you? Who’s your best friend?”

“Actually, I was interrogated over this a few weeks ago, just after Burke left. My best friend is a girl, and they thought I was writing to ‘my girlfriend back home.’ Let me tell you, it was humiliating to ask her to get on the phone with a guard and explain that we’d never,
ever
been romantically involved.”

I bit my lip, glad he could see the humor in it. “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine. Carrie got a kick out of it, actually.”

“Well, I’m happy she took it in stride.” I cleared my throat. “But now I have to ask, have you really never had a crush on her?”

“No!” He almost shuddered. “Carrie’s like a sister to me. The thought of kissing her just feels wrong.”

I put my hands up in front of me, startled by how offended he was. “Okay. I don’t have to worry about Carrie. Got it.”

“Sorry.” The disgust in his face shifted to a shy smile. “It’s just that I’ve been asked that a million times. Other friends, our parents … it’s like everyone has always wanted us to be together, and I don’t feel anything like that for her.”

“I get that. Sometimes it seems like everyone wants me to pick Kile just because we grew up together. Like that alone is enough to guarantee you’ll fall in love.”

“Well, the difference there is that you actually have feelings for Kile. Anyone watching could tell.” He fiddled with a discarded pawn.

I looked at my lap. “I shouldn’t have brought that up. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I think the only way to stay sane through all this is to remember that you’re the one leading this, and you’re the one who decides where we stand. The only thing any of us can do is be ourselves.”

“Where do you think you stand exactly?”

He gave me a small smile. “I don’t know. Somewhere in the middle?”

I shook my head. “You’re doing better than that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

His smile faded a little. “That’s kind of amazing, but also scary. There’s a lot of responsibility that comes with winning this.”

I nodded. “Tons.”

“I guess I never really stopped to think about that. But with you really being in charge these days, it’s a little … overwhelming.”

I stared at him, feeling certain I had to be misunderstanding something. “You’re not trying to back out, are you?”

“No,” he said, continuing to roll the pawn in his hand. “I’m just coming face-to-face with how big this is. I’m sure your mom had moments like this, too.”

He was uncharacteristically sharp, and this seemed to run deeper than his frustration about Carrie. As I continued, trying to keep my tone even, he avoided my eyes.

“Did I miss something? You’ve always been so enthusiastic, to the point that I’ve wondered about your sanity. What’s with the sudden cold feet?”

“I didn’t say I was having cold feet,” he countered. “I was simply voicing a concern. You’re constantly voicing your concerns. How is this any different?”

There was plenty of truth to that, but I had clearly hit a nerve. And after how hard I’d worked to be open with Hale, I didn’t understand why he would clam up on me. While I didn’t think he was the type to test me simply for the sake of it, I wondered if maybe he was trying to gauge my patience.

I clenched and unclenched my hands underneath the table, reminding myself that I trusted Hale.

“Perhaps it’s better if we change the subject,” I suggested.

“Agreed.”

But the only thing that followed was silence.

T
HE PARLOR WAS PREPARED FOR
our coming guests. Two rows of chairs were set up stadium style, reminding me of how the Selected used to sit for the
Report
. We had food and drinks around the room, a security checkpoint by the door, and cameras circulating.