The Devil Inside (Wolf Guard Book 1) (5 page)
I woke to a heavy weight on my stomach, a
large paw slung over my chest. The whisky had been quick to put me to sleep and
Sam soon pushed an old shirt at me and sent me to bed. The weight grumbled when
I tried to dislodge it. I looked down to see a large black head snoring softly,
jowls puffing out with each breath. He'd taken over most of the cot, my body
pushed to the edge by his bulk. Sam called him Remy, an adage to his native
home. I prodded his head with one finger and received a slow eyed blink in return
before he resumed snoring.
I don't know why he chose to sleep with me.
Surely Sam was a better option. Did he not sense the obscurity inside me? Not
smell that slow burning storm? Maybe he did yet, like his owner, he chose to
ignore his instincts. They were both fools.
I heard Sam move around in the kitchen and
Remy's head lifted, his ears perked and head cocked. He stood tall and leapt
off the bed, no doubt realising breakfast was up. I snorted,
at least I
haven't replaced food.
Sam called out a, "girlie", and I
assumed that meant he knew I was awake. I threw the jeans back on and stuck
with the shirt, I think I was done with Clara's jumper. I shuffled my way to
the kitchen, it was warm from the stove's heat and my toes curled up in
gratitude.
"Arya."
Sam looked up from stacking pancakes and
bacon on two plates; the man may have stopped shifting but he still ate like a
wolf.
"Watcha say?"
"My name, It's Arya."
"Fair 'nough. Grab tha' coffee will
ya, girlie."
I sighed. I could deal with it, I'd been
called worse. The coffee was black tar in a mug, I winced at the smell.
God
it even smelt like poison.
"Cream n' sugar on the side if ya
wan'."
I looked at him, his expression completely
serious.
"Yes.....Yes I'd like that."
I sat down to a plateful yet again. I could
see me gaining the weight I'd lost quick enough with a few more meals like
this.
"We goin' on a walk afta', boys need
exercisin'. You too for tha' matter."
"I was going to try making it to the
town today."
"What for? Ya got money? Plannin' on
replacin' tha jumper? Maybe one withou' blood?"
I squinted at him, did he think he was
funny? "Well no. I was thinking of getting a job maybe for a bit, just
until I moved on."
Sam put his fork down and took a sip of
that coffee. Black. I waited for the reaction.
The man had a steel stomach, I got nothing.
"You goin' ta work all day on those sticks ya call legs? Goin' ta serve
folks coffee and breakfast while beastie in there tugs on them chains?"
I looked down at my coffee swimming in
cream.
"Yeah, didn' think so. Eat up girlie,
we got a long ol' day ahead. There's a box in tha livin' room, my babies
clothes when she a teenager. They goin' fit well 'nough. Was wonderin' why tha'
damn woman dun throw nuthin' away."
I took a cautious sip of my coffee and
declared it drinkable, resigning myself to staying for now.
The box was fruitful, I found several pairs
of jeans that were a better fit than the ones I had. Shirts and jumpers, clean
and bloodless. I even found a pair of boots, worn but wearable, a size too big
but with Sam's big socks they were comfortable. I took a moment to relish the
feeling. My clothes. Not Clara's, not his, but mine. Sam's daughter wouldn't
need them any more. Something all of my own. As a winters first frost wrapped
the landscape in a lethal embrace, I grabbed hard onto that feeling and found I
couldn't let go.
We walked for miles, or so it felt, Remy
bounding along in front. He was an odd animal. He had an air of carelessness, a
carefree nature I didn't understand. He was loyal and watchful yet, where Luce
spent his walk on edge, ever the protective detail, Remy was a puppy in adult
form. Sam had proclaimed the tan canine as a 'demon possessed dog', hence the
name Lucifer or Luce for short.
"Ya know, them two ain't so
different."
I quirked a brow at his obvious
disillusion.
"Yeah, yeah. They seem opposite, I
give ya tha' but, them boys grown up together. Think maybe Remy wha' Luce wanna
be. Oh he like watchin' my back, but ya see him lookin' at Remy a little
wistful like. Maybe he think he need ta watch, maybe he can' override them
instincts, maybe he need ta take a leaf outta Remy's book eva' so often."
He thought he was so clever I suppose, I
pursed my lips at him. I wasn't going to take an analogy of the dog to heart.
He released one of those chuckles my way and raised his hand to wave it off.
We came to a field, so abruptly, the trees
melted away to nothing and the grass, a citrine floor, lay dying at my feet.
Sam sat at the edge, an evil smirk on his face.
"Well, let's see watcha made of."
I sighed and waited for his infinite
wisdom.
"Tha' there's a beast in front of
ya."
I looked and saw Luce glaring at me, drool
running down his jaw. I furrowed my brow at Sam.
"Wha'? I tol' you, that dog got demon
in him. How ya goin' ta control your beastie if ya can' control tha' one?"
I had a bad feeling. It only grew when Sam
threw a dog lead at me.
"He dun like bein' leashed. You do
tha' we can go home, got sum chicken waitin' ta roast."
I scowled at the man. The animal in front
was not pleasant and I think he knew what was coming.
"Watcha fingers girlie, dogs go' sum
daggers for teeth."
His little chuckle only served to wind me
up further. I moved towards the animal carefully, slowly, without sudden
movements. Luce's growl deepened with every step and my fingers had tiny
tremors, belying my nerves. I pushed another step forward and saw those
intelligent eyes flick to my hands holding the lead. I was close, close enough
to reach out and touch. A slight hand movement caught his attention and he
snapped at me, missing by inches.
"God damn it!"
My shout was loud but it still didn't cover
Sam's laughter. I turned fuming at the man.
"Try again girlie, we have all
day."
It took me an hour to touch that dog.
Countless tries and near misses of fingers. Sam was right - that dog had
issues. It came to me suddenly, the thought that maybe the man wasn't so crazy.
Luce didn't trust me; that was pretty clear. I didn't trust my wolf.
I gave that dog something I hadn't given
many people, that little bit of faith that I wouldn't get hurt. My hands
stopped shaking, the lead stopped rattling in my grip. I stepped forward with a
confidence I didn't think I was capable of. That small action produced such
different results that I was left confounded by the beast firmly attached to
the leash in my hand.
"Finally! Much as I enjoyed tha', were
gettin' a touch borin'."
I rolled my eyes at his lack of enthusiasm.
"I ain't sayin' it'll be tha' easy but
it a start ain't it?"
I grudgingly accepted his truth. There was
a warmth in my chest, an unnameable feeling. That mix of excitement and
accomplishment that heats a cold, hollow space left years ago. A slight smile
on my face I looked down at the animal I'd leashed.
I saw the muscles on his back clench. The
fur between his shoulder blades stand up like a short haired Mohawk. I dropped
the leash. His back legs tensed and sprung. A snarl burning through the light
atmosphere. I ran to Sam, my hand in my pocket where my knife was snugly
tucked.
Sam had stood by the time I reached him, he
towered over my frame and stepped a little in front of me. Remy had joined Luce
at the tree line, low rumbles shaking their chests.
I saw the first one before he even broke
through the boundary. Topping seven and a half feet, wiry hair parted by wolf
ears. Shoulders breaking branches foolhardy enough to be in his path. I sucked
in a breath. The slow, even gait of his walk was peaceful but the hands with
claws on view proved that could quickly change.
Two more appeared behind him, flanking his
position. The dogs growled and snapped when they didn't appear to be stopping.
"Ya migh' wanna wait righ' there boys.
Them dogs ain't real friendly. You a couple of big-uns I give ya tha' but they
ain't much fo' fair fightin'."
The one in front heeded the warning and
stepped to the side to shift behind a tree. One, that had been at his back,
threw him a pair of shorts and he was back out in front within minutes.
He lost maybe a foot to his human form; an
inch over Sam's height. He was still well muscled, not anywhere near the
obscenity of his wolf but large for a human. His blonde hair hit his shoulders
and I caught him running a hand through it a few times to get it out of his
face. He'd stepped right up to the dogs, not seemingly worried about the teeth
snapping at his feet.
"Alex," Sam acknowledged
curiously. "You changed boy, dun recognise ya wolf no more. Ya know normal
folk, well, they call a person 'fore they come callin'."
Alex nodded at Sam. It seems he was well
liked in the werewolf world, not many would take the time to acknowledge a lone
w,olf. "Just checking on some things Sam. You know how it is. Had some
news the Alpha wanted checked out. Don't suppose you'd know anything about a
lost female would you?"
Sam chuckled, his deep booming laugh and
tucked me further behind him. "Dun got no lost female here. Think maybe if
she lost she dun wanna be found."
Alex crooked his head to the side, his gaze
peering at me, trying to see around Sam's arm."I'd like to meet that
female you've got hidden behind you."
Sam tightened his grip around me.
"Yeah. Sure ya would. Course, my land dun say nuthin' bout no second chair
wolf passin' them dogs at tha' there boundary line."
Alex whipped his head up to meet Sam's
gaze, a scowl falling hard over his face."That's not very neighbourly,
Sam. I'm sure the Alpha won't be too happy to hear that."
I caught Sam's smirk as he looked back at
me. "He be happy or no', dun much care. He come see me for a visit he so
upset."
Alex froze at his words. I wasn't too sure
if pissing these wolves off was such a good idea right now. We had two dogs, a
non shifting, ageing man and a mildly shaking girl. A pounding on the walls of
my chest was causing my body to tremble. The force enough to break a rib. My
hands ached at the finger tips and my vision darkened to sepia.
Sam tapped my arm and whispered out of the
corner of his mouth. "Put a leash on it, girlie."
A second nod from Alex was less respectful.
My lip lifted in warning as he left, catching his eye in my gaze. The narrowing
in his scrutiny worried me; like maybe he'd seen something he was looking for.
We
returned to the cabin without incident. I was tired by that point. Tired of
struggling with restraints I couldn't hold. Tired of moving forward when every
part of me just wanted to stop.
I
had a hand on Remy’s back when those wooden walls came into view. He lent me
his strength and I took without thought. That animal had wormed his way in a
little. Taken a piece of festering heart and returned it raw and untouched. A
little bit of that black mark wiped away with his big head and juvenile
abandon.
He
used that solid skull to push me up the steps to the porch, the four of them
seeming like mini mountains to climb. I followed Sam into the kitchen and fell
on the first chair at the table, watching as he pulled out chicken from the
fridge.
"You
wan' sum soap n water ta go wit' tha' mud?"
I
looked down at my hands and blushed at the state of them. I may not have had
the liberty of daily showers previously but neither did I spend my days in the
forest. Sam gave me a full grin at my embarrassment.
"Towels
in tha cupboard. Wash tha' hair of yours too, dun know wha' colour it 'spose ta
be but it sure ain't whatever tha' is."
His
bathroom was rather large for the size of the cabin, the toilet separate and
giving the room extra space. The shower was an easy on and off switch and my
first few seconds may just have been the best moment of my life.
It's
funny how little things make everything seem better: an overgrown puppy not
playing with a full deck, washing in private after so long in purgatory, an old
man hiding in grief holding up a girl drowning in anguish.
I
stayed under that water till the stream ran from lukewarm to bitter and the
sound of Sam clanging pots in the kitchen reached under the steady beat of the
water. I found an old hair dryer in the drawers below the sink and by the time
I was dry I saw someone in the mirror I hadn't realised I'd missed.
I
heard Sam on the phone. Mostly grunts of what could be either approval or
disagreement, it was hard to tell. I joined him in the kitchen as he hung up
the phone.
"Look
like we got a visitor fo' dinner, a week maybe 'til he come."
I
quirked an eyebrow and waited for him to continue, as he normally did, in his
own time.
"Damn
Alpha think he God's gift. He wanna see you, girlie, think he know everythin',
think he so deservin'."
"He
can come. I'd like to meet him."
Sam
looked at me curiously. I suppose the tone of my words wasn't as neutral as I'd
hoped for.
"He
comin' al-right, he goin' hav'ta show little respect round here tho', he get
too much ya jus' say the word, got me a big shotgun in tha livin' room, I blow
his head clean off."
The
man went straight back to preparing dinner, as if he hadn't just promised
murder.
I
sat and watched him work, a calm before the storm. I had wondered what that
Alpha would be like, whether he'd apologise for leaving me in that man's grip,
if he even realised what he'd done. I found myself answering my own questions.
An apology would, in the end, prove unsatisfying. I didn't find myself in a
particularly forgiving state of mind.
We
spent the following week repeating the day. A walk in the morning, Sam teaching
me to control that demon dog....him rolling on the ground in laughter as I
failed more often than not. I found a simple kind of peace, one that settled
deep and soft, covering chaos that bubbled beneath the surface. A makeshift
trap for the beast growing ever more sadistic inside.
He
came to the sound of the two dogs barking a warning. Sam had finished cooking
for the evening and the food was kept warm in the oven. We had sat in
comfortable silence watching as the sun dipped lower and became a slash of red
over the tree line. His steps were loud stomping up to the porch and I felt a
kernel of anticipation flow through my veins.
I
watched as Sam stood, giving me a light pat on the arm. I don't know when his
touch became so normal; I suppose at the same time that my body realised he was
safe.
When
Sam let the Alpha in, I couldn't help but notice how much bigger he was. I
guess his rank was shown clearly in his stature. He had a good few inches on
Sam, no mean feat by anyone's standards. But it was his width that threw me, he
had bulk that I hadn't thought possible. My father had been a big man, maybe
bigger than Sam, had seemed so much bigger than me, yet this Alpha was in a
league of his own. God knows how big his wolf would be. He lumbered to the
table after greeting Sam in an offhand manner, he was already sinking in my
expectations.
His
blue eyes snapped to mine and I swept my gaze over his face. He could have been
called handsome, a symmetrical face pleasing to the eye. Strong jawline,
prominent cheekbones. If it wasn't for that air of entitlement so evident on
his shoulders.
I
kept his gaze as he sat in front of me, I was not going to let my eyes leave
his movements.
"You're
Arya?"
His
question was more confirmation than anything else.
"Yes."
His lip turned up at my answer. He could snarl all he liked, I wasn't tacking
an 'Alpha' on the end just for the sake of it. He had more to prove to me than
I did to him.
"Have
a man in the hospital looking for you. A dead girl on my land that used to be
my secretary, can't have humans showing up dead in my territory."
I
narrowed my eyes at him, I already didn't like the way this conversation was
going. Sam had sneakily let the dogs in and they sat by his side judging the
interaction, a small line of watchdogs.
"That
man kept me prisoner for four years. He killed your secretary when she tried to
save me....while you sat on your chair of vaulted incompetence."
His
answering rumble shook the table he lent on. Sam stood quickly and put a hand
on each tense animal. I smiled at his sneer, a tingle in my gut. Reaching
fingers pushing, probing, trying to find an escape.
"Watch
yourself, little girl. I don't answer to lesser wolves."
Those
words seethed inside me. I'd locked those words away. Behind big steel doors, a
bank vault of trappings to soothe the creature deep within.
Those
prodding fingers, they clawed their way higher. I felt the scratching as high
as my throat, bypassing the leash at my chest.
"You
done girlie? Wan' me ta get ol' Sal? She waitin' in tha' livin' room, ya jus'
gotta calm that ragin'."
I
tried to listen to Sam, I really did. I clenched my hands to fists. Breathed
deep and even, shut my eyes to the arrogant wolf in front of me.
There's
a point when everything stops. When the air around you becomes thick with
tension, when the shouting of men to calm your anger quietens to a buzz in your
ears. When a dogs rumble of warning goes unheeded. When you're pushed passed
the point of return.
I
heard cracking echoing in my brain.
A
searing push of fire under my skin.
Molten
lava shooting from my fingertips.
Glowing
embers melting through my core.
Excruciating
burn that thrilled the sinful being clothed in a pretence of normal.
I
suppose it could have been called painful.
But
I knew pain and this wasn't it.
Power
comes in many variations and when I looked down at myself, when that
conflagration withered to dust, I saw power in my every sinew.
Sam
caught my wolf's attention first. An old weathered man struggling with a
flickering wolf in his hands. Two snarling beasts with a giant muscled forearm
in each jaw. Red rivers of blood running down their coats. Whether from the
pierced skin in between their teeth or the claw marks slashed across their
sides, it was hard to tell. I felt a haze in my mind, a block on human
reasoning. That blood an attraction I couldn't resist. That Alpha a prey my
wolf couldn't abide.
He
became locked in my sights, a crimson stare of raw violence.
A
yelp from a black pup pulled a roar from my gut.
The
crash of a friend thrown into a wall. The crumple of a canine falling to the
floor.
A
flash of his fangs, lips pulled back in a leer. Those demon's claws sinking
deep into meat.
An
old man's gasp as that mutant hand pulls back, claws still stuck in his
bleeding gut.
Rage
is such a simple thing. No thought or plan to every action. No hesitation, no
second doubts. Four thundering paws moving faster than thought, a heavy flank
tensing and releasing in habitual ease.
I
came back to share a space with a raging wolf as we shot across the kitchen. I
saw Sam bleeding on the floor, a pool of claret in his lap. Luce had a hold of
one thick forearm, his body being shaken in the air like a pest being removed.
His distraction was enough, I gave no thought to the outcome, I had a target in
sight and my wolf had a one track mind. I'm sure my black coat swept across his
vision but I was blindingly fast and my teeth struck gold.
His
throat was thick skinned and a couple of feet higher than my elevation. I took
a flying leap, the ease with which I gained such height gave me a moment of
glory. My paws landed on his heaving chest. My teeth dug in and savaged at the
flesh, my head shaking and tearing till sticky redness poured down my coat. My
body followed his to the floor, my jaws aching from the death grip they held. I
revelled in this new position. I encased his entire throat in a massive muzzle,
grinding and pulling and tearing at meat.
I
got down to bone, his struggles long gone. My wolf seemed to understand that
only headless would do. Razor sharp teeth cut through cartilage with a gnawing
cracking and his huge wolf's head dropped limp on the ground.
I
turned around to Sam’s puff of breath and whined at the growing stain on his
trousers as he panted out air.
"You
a big fucker, ain't ya?"
