The Girls Get Even (7 page)

“See anything?” asked Wally.

“Not yet. Give me a butter knife.”

Wally handed him a knife, and Jake probed gently down into the crack, then pulled the knife out and looked at the pumpkin coating it. “Looks okay, but I wouldn’t be too sure.”

“They probably wouldn’t have stuck anything right in the middle of it,” Josh said. “If I were going to put something gross in a pie, I’d stick it along the edge of the crust where you wouldn’t think to look.”

Jake took the knife and probed every few inches near the edge of the pie. With a spoon he lifted out a little bit of pumpkin chiffon here and a little there, examining it closely. It appeared to be only pumpkin.

“We still ought to taste it,” he said. “It still could be made with pee. Who wants the first taste?”

“Not me!” said Wally.

“Don’t look at me,” said Josh.

Everyone turned to Peter.

“You always make me do everything!” Peter wailed.

“Oh, I’ll take the first bite,” said Jake. He lifted
the spoon to his lips and touched it first with his tongue. Then he actually put some in his mouth and rolled it around a moment, swallowing. “I’ll be darned,” he said. “It’s good.”

“Let me see,” said Josh. Another bite. “You’re right. It’s great!”

“Give me some,” said Peter, jabbing a spoon down right in the middle and lifting out a large bite.

And then Wally saw the note stuck to the bottom of the box. “Oh, no!” he said.

Dear Ellen—

Just wanted you to know how much we appreciated your boys washing our windows. There is such a wonderful sense of community here. Thank you so much for helping us to feel at home. Hope you enjoy my pumpkin chiffon pie—it’s my great-aunt’s recipe, and sort of a tradition at our house in October.

Cordially,
Jean Malloy

“Oh, brother!” said Josh.

“We,” added Jake, “are in big trouble.”

They stared down at the pie, which looked as though squirrels had been walking through it in
golf shoes. Bites had been taken out of it here and there.

“Mom will
kill
us if she sees this!” said Wally. Mother always said that a gift of food should be enjoyed three ways: first with the eyes, then with the nose, and finally, with the mouth. If someone went to all the work to bake something for you, you should admire it first as an artistic creation, and not just gobble it down.

“What are we going to tell her?” Josh murmured.

“That we were digging for dog doo?” said Peter.

“There’s only one thing to do,” Jake decided. “Eat the pie. Then we’ve got to go to Ethel’s Bakery and buy another. We’ll put it in the box with the note and leave it on the table, and Mom won’t know the difference. We’ll take the plate back to Mrs. Malloy and tell her that Mom said thanks.”

The boys ate the pie, more out of duty than pleasure—not because it wasn’t good, but because they didn’t seem so hungry anymore.

Afterward, Wally went upstairs to shake money out of his bank and wondered how life could get so complicated. Unfortunately, all the money he had was in a clay piggy bank that Aunt Ida had given him last Christmas, and the only way
anyone could get money out was to shake it upside down and hope that something would fall out of the slot, though it hardly ever did.

He sat on his bed and shook and shook. How could it be that with so many dimes and nickels and pennies in it, hardly any ever hit the slot in exactly the right way to fall out? If one coin fell out every ten minutes, and there were a hundred and seventy-nine coins, then how long would it take before … ?

“Hurry
, Wally¡ We have to be home in a half hour. We need to buy that pie before Mom gets here, and we Ve only got five dollars between us. We’ll need more than that.”

Wally took a hammer, smashed his clay piggy bank to smithereens, scooped up the money, and gave it to Jake.

•

The boys were all in the other room quietly watching TV when their mother walked in the back door and clunked her purse and keys on the kitchen counter.

“What’s this?” Wally heard her say.

There was a silence—a long, long silence. The sound of a box being opened. The squeak of the kitchen floor. Then a long, slow “I declare!”

Wally held his breath.

“I
declare!”
Mother said again.

Wally couldn’t stand it. Neither could Jake or Josh or Peter. They all went to the door of the kitchen.

“Well, now I’ve seen everything!” Mother said, staring down into the box and holding Mrs. Malloy’s note in her hand.

“I don’t see anything,” said Wally.

“Did this just come this afternoon?” Mother asked, pointing to the box.

Wally nodded. “Caroline and her sisters brought it over.”

Mother stood shaking her head. “Jean Malloy says in her note that she baked this pumpkin chiffon pie herself from her great-aunt’s recipe, and this pie came from Ethel’s Bakery, or I’ll eat the box.”

Wally almost choked.

“H-how do you know?” asked Jake.

“Because Ethel’s the only one who sprinkles caramel and pecans around the rim of her pumpkin pies. And what’s more, she always leaves a little swirl of filling right in the middle, sort of a trademark, you might say. I saw these pies in her window just this morning, and Jean Malloy’s got the nerve to tell me she made it herself.”

Hoo boy¡
Wally thought, and his legs felt like rubber. Maybe they should tell her. Maybe they
should just come right out and tell her that when she sent that chocolate cake over to Mrs. Malloy in August, Caroline thought it was a trick and threw it in the river, so the boys thought maybe this was a trick, and they were just trying to dig around and see if there was any dog doo in it…. But then he thought of how awful Mom would feel if she knew her beautiful cake had gone in the river. She’d want to know
why
Caroline would suspect such a thing, and then he’d have to tell her all the ways the Hatford boys and the Malloy girls had been tormenting each other since the Malloys arrived. No, he had better keep quiet.

‘‘If the woman doesn’t bake, it’s not a sin,” Mother went on. “Why couldn’t she just have said she’d picked up a pie for our dinner and hoped we’d enjoy it? Why did she have to say she baked it herself? And then, to call it pumpkin chiffon, when pumpkin chiffon pie is at least two inches high. If this is the way they do things in Ohio, I’m glad I don’t live in Ohio. Boys, wash up. We’re having dinner soon.”

•   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •   •
Nine
•
Thank-you Note

I
t was when Caroline was brushing her teeth the next morning that Wally returned the plate. She had been standing in front of the mirror practicing her lines for the play—” Wait, little elf. Maybe your idea is a good one¡ Maybe it
would
be more fun to do
good
tricks this Halloween and surprise the village people!” —when she heard the doorbell.

“Why, good morning, Wally!” came her father’s voice. “Or is it Jake or Josh or Peter? I’m never sure.”

“I’m Wally,” came a second voice. “I just wanted to return Mrs. Malloy’s pie plate and tell her thank you very much. The pumpkin chiffon pie was delicious!”

“I’ll be sure to tell her,” Father said. “Jean makes it every year. I like a big piece after a football game. Provided we win, of course.”

Caroline carne down after she heard the door close.

‘‘Well,
now
maybe we’re all friends again,” Mother said to her. ‘One of the Hatford boys returned my pie plate and said the pie was delicious, so I guess they really enjoyed it. Let’s try and keep things this way, huh? Stay friends ?”

“Why not?” said Caroline. At the moment Wally and his brothers were the last thing on her mind. It was the play that was important. Never mind that the fifth and sixth grades wouldn’t see it. The others would, along with all their teachers, and people would remember her, so that when they were looking for someone to play a starring role in fifth or sixth—

“Good grief¡ Have some bread with your peanut butter!” Mother said, watching Caroline make her lunch. “You have enough peanut butter on that bread for three sandwiches, Caroline. Pay attention.”

“Dost thou talk to thy queen in such a manner?” Caroline asked, raising one eyebrow.

“I dost,” said Mother. “And don’t forget to pack some carrots and celery, m’lady.”

•

“Well, class, we’ve got one week to the Halloween play,” Miss Applebaum said, facing the
fourth graders in her apple-red dress. “I still need three more boys, however, and if I don’t get any volunteers, I’m going to have to volunteer for you. Come on, now. It’ll be fun. Your audience is only little kids, after all. Don’t let it scare you. If you forget a line, so what? It’s not the end of the world.”

Finally one hand went up, then another.

‘Okay, I’ve got everyone we need except a footman, and we need somebody strong. Wally Hatford, I choose you. Lunch-hour rehearsal. Don’t forget.”

Wally Hatford¡ A footman¡ Right¡
thought Caroline.

When she stood on the stage at lunchtime, Caroline remembered that the last time she was here, having sneaked in after lunch, Wally and some of the other fourth-grade boys had sneaked in, too, unknown to her, and were sitting in the dark in the back row, listening to her read a beautiful passage from
The Wind in the Willows.
But now she was supposed to be here, with the lights shining down on her, and Miss Applebaum smiling in the second row, and sometimes, when Miss Applebaum was showing someone else where to stand, or how to gesture when he talked, Caroline tipped back her head and studied all the ropes and pulleys and lights and switches and knew that this was
where she belonged, that she was doing what she was born to do.

There was only one line, at the very end of the play, where someone had a better part than Caroline. That was when the Fairy Godmother of All the Woods and Glades came to the Goblin Queen and said, “Isabelle, all these years your hair has been matted and your skin has been wrinkled and rough, and your toes and fingers crooked, because you have looked the way you have lived. But because of these fine deeds you have performed this Halloween, you have shown the village people that beneath your dirty hair and crooked smile, there is indeed a heart of gold.” Whereupon she touched the Goblin Queen with her magic wand, and flung off the ugly mask that Caroline would have been wearing, to reveal the true beauty beneath.

For just that one moment Caroline would have liked to be the Fairy Godmother of All the Woods and Glades, but she couldn’t be both. And besides, right after that, her two footmen were supposed to help her sit down, and say, “Your throne, m’lady.” And when she said, “Call the other goblins, that we may celebrate a Halloween of Good Deeds, “ Wally would say, “I hear, my Queen, and obey.”

When Wally came to those lines, however, his face turned red and he looked as though he had a
mouth full of rocks. He looked as though he would rather choke than say them.

“Who are you talking to, Wally, the floor? “ Miss Applebaum called from her seat in the second row. “Speak up—look at Caroline when you talk. Don’t mumble.”

“I can’t remember the lines, I’m not any good at this,” Wally told her.

“Pish-posh!” said their teacher. “You only have two lines to say in the whole play, Wally. Come on, now. I know you can do it. Besides, if you forget a line, just make one up. Actors and actresses have to do that all the time.”

“I hear, my Queen, and obey,” Wally said finally, and started off the stage to call the other goblins.

Does life ever get better than this?
Caroline wondered happily.

•

Fall was perhaps the favorite season in the Malloy family. Father was happiest when football had really begun; Mother liked it when the long, hot days of summer were over at last; Eddie liked any season that was warm enough for her to stand outside and bounce a ball off the side of the garage; and Beth liked autumn especially because all the books that had been taken from the library for
summer reading had been returned, and she had a much better selection to choose from, especially her favorite books, such as
The Spider’s Sting, Mark of the Mummy
, and
Scorpion People.
But the seasons of the year meant absolutely nothing to Caroline as long as she was onstage.

She and Beth and Eddie had just come back from the homecoming parade on Saturday and were raking leaves when Mr. Hatford came up the sidewalk with their mail.

‘‘Hello, girls/’ he said. “Your dad must have been mighty pleased the way his team beat Wheeling last night. Nice to have a winning team for a change.” He grinned as he walked up the steps. “So how are you all doing?”

“Fine,” they answered together.

Caroline took a chance: “How are the guys coming with their Halloween costumes?”

Mr. Hatford scratched his head. “Come to think of it, I haven’t heard a word out of them the past few days. All I get from Wally is griping about some danged play.”

Caroline grinned, but Eddie put down her rake: “Aren’t they even going to
be
in the parade?”

“I imagine so. Just don’t hear them talk much about it, that’s all.”

Not much help from him, Caroline thought after
he had gone. Was it possible the boys had just given up?

Leaves fell down around them, and Caroline stretched her arms toward the sky and said, “Life’s wonderful¡ The Goblin Queen is in her glory¡ I never want to go back to Ohio again. I want to stay right here and become known in Buckman, and someday, in the concrete outside the school, they will put a marker for me with my name on it, saying, CAROLINE LENORE MALLOY FIRST APPEARED ONSTAGE IN THIS SCHOOL
.
” Her sisters groaned.

The screen door slammed and Mother came down the steps: “Girls, look at this and tell me what you think. I just got a note from Mrs. Hatford, and this is what she said: