The Good Daughter (17 page)

There was a knock on the door. Mum poked her head in and handed me the cordless phone. ‘It's Dina.'

‘Thanks.' I took the phone, avoiding Mum's questioning look. ‘Hey Dina, how are you?'

‘Did you tell anyone?' she demanded.

westies besties

‘Hold on…' I covered the mouthpiece. ‘Is there anything I can help you with?' I asked Mum. She left. I checked that the door was properly closed. ‘Okay, I can talk now,' I told Dina. ‘No, of course I didn't tell anyone.'

‘All right, all right,' Dina said. ‘Don't get snappy.'

There was a silence as we both tried to think of something else to say. ‘How did you organise seeing Tony?' I asked.

‘I told my parents I was stopping at the library, but I still had to be home by two. Some of us aren't like you.' Her voice was sharp.

‘I can't go anywhere,' I protested.

‘You didn't have to go to
mejtef
this morning.'

‘Don't tell anyone, but I kind of lied.'

‘You're in the same boat.' Dina's voice was too happy for my liking.

‘Kind of…Yes, I'm in the same boat,' I admitted. It was difficult acknowledging that the freedom I used to have, that my friends envied, was being restricted now.

‘Maybe we can help each other.'

‘I'm listening.'

‘I'm guessing your mum is cracking down just like my parents. No going out. No friends who aren't Muslim and definitely no boys.' Dina steamed ahead while I nodded to myself. ‘What if we became best friends?'

How the hell was I going to get out of this one?

‘Of course we wouldn't really be friends at all,' Dina continued.

‘Of course,' I repeated. Did she think she was too good for me?

‘If we let our parents think we're friends and we call each other every night, then we could call whoever we wanted.'

Dina was a genius, but I wasn't telling her. ‘That's a great idea,' I said instead, keeping the excitement from my voice. ‘We can even organise weekend outings and hook up with mates.'

‘And we can have fake sleepovers.'

That wouldn't do me any good. There was no one I wanted to sleep over with. Then Brian and our near kiss popped into my head. My lips tingled.

‘But that's down the track,' Dina said briskly. ‘We should set a time to call each other. How is seven o'clock onwards?'

‘Works for me.'

‘We have to keep to the same timetable with our boy—I mean with our friends, otherwise we'll get caught. So we have to be off the phone by eight.'

‘Uh, sure.' I thought I was good at working the system, but Dina amped it to a whole other level. I was her apprentice and she was my master.

On Monday Gemma and Dina waited at the school gates as I rode up. ‘Cool bike.' Dina hugged and kissed me like we were long-lost sisters.

‘I have to put it in the bike-shed,' I said.

‘We'll come.' Dina put her hand through mine and walked with me. Gemma followed, watching us suspiciously.

‘You're making us look suss,' I muttered to Dina in Bosnian.

Dina saw Gemma following and let go of my arm. ‘What are you doing slow-arse?' She thrust her arm around Gemma's and tugged her until we were walking in a line.

I let out a sigh. I felt like I'd sold my soul to the devil. While pretending to be friends with Dina was convenient, I did not want a touchy-feely relationship with her. After I put my bike away, Gemma wanted to go to the oval and have a smoke. ‘I'll go to the front and wait for Brian and Jesse,' I said.

‘We'll come with you.' Dina turned Gemma around.

‘I don't want to,' Gemma moaned.

‘We'll go to the oval later.' Dina pulled her along.

Brian and Jesse were at the front talking to Adnan. ‘There you are!' Brian exclaimed when he saw me. He gave me a smacking kiss. Jesse gave me a peck on the cheek, his dry lips barely making contact.

‘Hey cuz.' Adnan kissed me too.

When I turned I was gobsmacked to see Dina giving Brian and Jesse pecks. When she reached Adnan she almost fell into him as she kissed his cheek, holding onto his shoulders and thrusting her hips forward. So much for Tony. Gemma looked daggers at me, like I was responsible for Dina's touchy-feely routine.

‘I want a ciggie,' Gemma whined when the hellos were over.

When we got to the oval Dina and Gemma pulled out their packets while Brian scabbed a smoke from Adnan.

‘I didn't know you smoked,' I said to Brian.

He eyed the cigarette like he was shocked to find it in his hand. ‘I'm more of a social smoker.'

Jesse and I were the only ones who didn't smoke. We stood on the edge of the group. ‘It's just you and me kid.' Jesse smiled.

‘Since we're the only ones who don't think it's fun to suck on a cancer stick.'

‘You should try before you judge,' Adnan said, smoke punctuating his words. He offered me his packet.

I pushed it away. ‘Thanks, but no thanks.'

‘What about you Jesse?' Adnan offered.

‘I've got bronchitis,' Jesse said. Adnan returned the packet to his shirt pocket.

Jesse and I moved away from the smokers. ‘I read your article.' I reached into my backpack. Jesse had written about teenagers who cared for their ill parents. I stood closer to him and leaned his story on one of my books so I could go over my notes. ‘I've only got minimal feedback because it was amazing.' I met his eyes. We were centimetres apart.

‘Thanks.' Jesse's minty breath caressed my face.

‘Where did you get the idea from?' I asked.

‘Someone I know is a carer.'

There was a sprinkling of freckles on his nose. He looked adorable. He reached for his story, his hand brushing against mine, and shivers raced up my spine.

That night I called Brian and explained Dina's phone call system.

‘Are you and Dina best friends now?' he asked, after we'd gasbagged about the day's happenings.

‘Shit no,' I replied. ‘We're pretending to be friends so our parents don't know what we're up to.'

‘Good,' he said. ‘Because I thought
we
were best friends.'

‘Best friends?' It was like I was in an elevator and my stomach was on the third floor, while my body was on the ground. Weren't we more than friends?

‘Well yes,' Brian said. ‘I mean Jesse is my oldest friend, but you're the one I feel I can talk to about anything. Don't you feel like that too?'

‘I guess—'

‘Even though we haven't known each other for long, I feel like we've been friends forever.'

‘I do too—'

‘I'm glad we're on the same page,' Brian said. ‘I feel blessed to have a friend like you in my life.'

‘Me too,' I whispered, wiping tears. ‘I'd better go. My hour is almost up.'

‘Okay, see you tomorrow.'

I hung up, feeling like I was under a cement blanket. I'd been sure he was as attracted to me as I was to him. There were so many signals. We both felt like we'd known each other forever. Usually I was weird around guys, especially guys I liked, but with Brian it was different. There was nothing I couldn't talk to him about, nothing that was off-limits. But now I was scared to see him again.

The next morning at the oval, everyone was already there. Adnan nodded, Jesse smiled as I stood next to him, Dina waved, Gemma flicked her hair and gazed the other away.

‘Hello love!' Brian grabbed me in a bear hug, lifting me off the ground. ‘Isn't it a beautiful morning?'

As he swung me in his arms I put my hands on his shoulders, my whole body flush with his. I smiled, full of joy. Last night's conversation retreated like a nightmare does once you're awake.

‘He's been insufferable,' Dina shouted.

‘What's going on?' I asked after he set me on my feet. I tried to dampen my joy. My feelings for Brian were too obvious.

‘The party is all set.' Brian handed me an invitation to attend a comic book character costume party.

‘Who are you coming as?' Brian demanded.

‘I don't—'

He cut me off before I finished. ‘Because I'm torn between the Riddler or the Joker.'

‘We all know the Riddler is out of your league, Brian,' Dina quipped.

‘So you're coming as Poison Ivy?' Brian glared at her. We all laughed. ‘What about you Adnan?' Brian continued.

‘He'd be a perfect Superman.' Dina's eyes zeroed in on his chest. Adnan smirked. He thrust out his chest and stood in the Superman stance with his arms crossed.

‘Gemma?' Brian asked as he bummed a ciggie off Adnan.

‘Supergirl.' Gemma watched Adnan. Dina's eyes narrowed. Brian coughed on his cigarette smoke. Everyone laughed as he got his breath back.

I relaxed as the banter continued around me. I'd spent all night tossing and turning, nervous about seeing Brian after his ‘Just friends' talk, but I'd underestimated how easy it was to hide tension in a group. Each time I met Brian's gaze and felt the connection between us I couldn't believe that he didn't feel the same way. Maybe he needed time to cross over from friends to something more?

‘What about Jesse?' Dina asked. ‘Who could he be?'

‘I know.' Brian came to stand behind Jesse and me, putting a hand on our shoulders and pushing us closer together. ‘Peter Parker.'

‘He is the perfect Peter Parker.' Dina approached Jesse and looked into his eyes. ‘Unassuming, yet has hidden depths.' Jesse held her gaze.

‘That's our Jesse.' I put my arm around his waist. ‘Full of depth.' Jesse turned and looked at me.

‘Maybe I should come as Mary-Jane?' Dina put her hand on Jesse's chest, forcing him to look at her again. ‘I'd look good as a redhead.' We stood, like an abstract statue exhibit representing the promise of love.

‘Cat Woman is sexier,' Adnan called out.

Dina backed away. ‘Cat Woman it is.' She sashayed back to Adnan and Gemma.

The bell rang and we headed to class together.

Hanging around with Gemma and Dina meant that I learnt more than I ever wanted to know about either one of them. Dina was sneaky. Most of her conversations were bitching about her parents or perving on Adnan because she couldn't talk about Tony. I couldn't figure out if she really liked Adnan or was using him as cover.

Gemma had a pretty full-on life: she was the oldest of three children and when she was twelve her stepfather died, so she became a second mother to her four and two-year-old siblings. She also had a boyfriend, Rob, who was twenty and worked as a mechanic's apprentice. They'd been going together for two weeks and he wanted sex.

‘It's not as if we're not doing anything,' Gemma said. ‘I give him blowjobs—'

‘Yuck, that's disgusting,' I interrupted.

‘Why? It's a natural expression of love,' Gemma insisted.

‘Does he reciprocate?' I asked.

‘I couldn't let a guy go down there.' Gemma was horrified.

‘So you're the only one expressing your love,' I stirred.

Gemma turned away and spoke to Dina. ‘So I give him blowjobs, but now he says it's not enough.' Gemma chewed on her nail. ‘I always wanted to wait until I married.'

‘So wait,' I said. She was shitting me. We'd been having the same conversation all week.

Dina shot me down. ‘Bullshit. You can't marry until you're eighteen. No guy will wait two years.' Gemma's head moved from side to side as she watched us, her mouth hanging open like a clown at Luna Park.

‘If he loves you he will,' I said.

‘No guy can hold out for that long.'

‘Why not?'

‘Spoken like a virgin.' Dina smiled.

‘Is there something you want to share?' I needled her.

She glared at me before turning back to Gemma. ‘I'm sure he'll wait.'

‘See.' I grinned at Gemma. ‘You should wait.'

Gemma came to school a few days later with red eyes. Dina took one look at her and hugged her. ‘You did it, didn't you?'

Gemma nodded and sobbed in earnest. ‘He cried and said that if I loved him, I'd do it. So I did.'

I opened my mouth to rip into Gemma about her being conned, but Dina shook her head at me.

The next day she looked sad and confused. ‘We did it again last night and it still hurt,' she mumbled. ‘He said there was a bone that had to loosen and then it wouldn't hurt as much.'

Dina and I gaped at each other. ‘There's no bone that has to be broken,' I said. ‘There's only a hymen, but not all women have that.'

‘Yes, there is,' Gemma insisted.

‘It shouldn't hurt the second time,' Dina said cautiously.

‘How would you know? You're still a virgin!' Gemma was getting agitated and didn't try to hide her scorn. Suddenly ‘virgin' had become the worst insult.

Dina stared at the ground.

‘Sounds like he doesn't know how to turn on a woman, so he's spinning a yarn,' I said.

‘What would you know, virgin?' Gemma spat.

Unfortunately more than she would ever know. Because Mum had treated me as her confidante since I was ten years old, I definitely knew more about sex than I needed to. One of the things Mum talked about was how, if a woman wasn't turned on, her natural lubrication wouldn't kick in and sex would hurt.

‘I know better than to fall for an idiot's fake tears,' I retorted. Gemma was so stupid.

‘Neither of you even
has
a boyfriend,' Gemma sneered.

I opened my mouth, about to let loose about how boyfriends were not compulsory.

‘You're right,' Dina interjected, shooting me a glare. ‘All that matters is that you're happy.'

Gemma smoothed her hair back. ‘I am. I'm very happy.'

When I got home I heard Safet's greasy voice from the living room. Since I'd caught him and Mum having sex I'd avoided him by hiding out in my room whenever he was over. Thankfully he and Mum were spending more time at his house. I dumped my backpack in my bedroom, debating whether I could stay there until he left. But I was starving: waiting wasn't an option today.