The Honourable Army Doc (13 page)

‘You must understand how they feel, though, in particular Helen, her sister and the girls. It might not be the right time to go public.’ As much as she loved the idea
of walking hand in hand with Quinn, she realised that others might need a bit longer to come to terms with the development.

‘I do understand and I will respect their feelings,’ Quinn replied, ‘but I don’t have to like it. I know they’re all in mourning. I’m upset too, but I’m upset for my girls. I will respect the girls’ feelings and I will respect Julieanne’s memory but I won’t deny myself you. I can’t keep you out of my mind. I’ve had enough feelings of guilt over not being a good enough father and husband and I refuse to feel guilty about wanting to spend time with you. Julieanne was my ex-wife, I’m not going to put my life on hold out of some misguided loyalty to her. I’ve always done the right thing by everybody—don’t I deserve some reward?’

‘Am I your reward?’ Ali asked.

He smiled at her and his eyes sparkled like the sea that surrounded them. ‘I’d like to think so,’ he replied.

Ali spent the rest of the afternoon trying not to let her imagination get carried away. Trying not to leap ahead to her happy-ever-after. But knowing that Quinn wanted her meant she spent the rest of the afternoon in a bubble of euphoria that lasted through a game of mini-golf and a fish-and-chip dinner and into the drive home.

They weren’t far into the return trip before the girls were fast asleep in the back of the car, exhausted by the day’s activities. The sun had set and the black sedan seemed to melt into the bitumen as the German engine propelled them quietly through the night. There were no other cars on the roads, no streetlights and only a sliver of moon. The darkness was complete and out on
the open road it seemed as though they were the only people in the world.

Ali rested her head on the seat as Quinn steered the car through the twists and turns of the country road. She turned towards him. In the glow of the dashboard lights she could see his profile. He felt her gaze and glanced her way. He reached across and rested his hand on her thigh. She had changed back into her jeans but she could still feel the heat of his hand through the denim.

‘I had a lovely day, thank you,’ he said as his thumb stroked the inside of her thigh, and Ali felt her muscles liquefy under his touch.

She closed her eyes as the heat travelled from his fingertips to reignite the fire that seemed to smoulder constantly in her belly whenever he was near. She felt his fingers move higher up her leg. She covered his hand with hers—she didn’t want to stop him but this wasn’t the time or place to give in to her desire. She opened her eyes as the car headlights illuminated a roadside sign for a bed-and-breakfast.

‘That would be the perfect end to today,’ he said as they buzzed past the stone cottage, ‘if we could just check in there and spend the night.’

Ali laughed and relaxed her hold on his hand. ‘Aren’t you forgetting about the two little people in the back seat?’

‘No, but a man can dream, can’t he? Don’t discount it for another time, though.’

‘You’ll still have the problem of finding someone to look after the girls. Or is Helen planning on helping you?’

‘I’m not sure what she plans on doing,’ he said. ‘I don’t think she knows. She’s okay but she doesn’t have the energy to deal with the girls on top of her grief. It’s going to take time. But Julieanne has plenty of girlfriends who have offered to have the girls overnight if I need help.’ He raised his eyebrows and Ali could see his blue eyes sparkling in the dim light.

‘I’m not sure their generosity would extend to minding your daughters while you took me away for a dirty weekend,’ she quipped.

Quinn sighed. ‘No, probably not. So, considering I’m not going to be able to take you out on a date ever, or at least in the foreseeable future, we’ll have to come to some other arrangement.’ He gave her a quick grin and while he had disarmed her with a smile he slid his hand higher up her thigh and nestled it in her lap.

‘Are you trying to impress me with your powers of persuasion?’ she asked as she felt her body begin to dissolve under his hand.

‘I will try to impress you with whatever I can,’ he admitted.

‘In that case, maybe I can find a babysitter who doesn’t have any history with your family and who won’t pass judgement.’

‘Sounds good to me. Do you think you could find someone before I self-combust?’

‘You’re going to self-combust? What do you think you’re doing to me?’

‘Shall I pull over and put you out of your misery?’ he teased.

‘As tempting as that sounds, I think we’ll both have
to find some self-control somewhere, and may I suggest you go for quality, not quantity, in your date nights?’

But Ali’s nerves were buzzing with the prospect of having time alone with Quinn; she was as eager as he was. Perhaps Tracey, the clinic receptionist, would agree to babysit. She’d ask her tomorrow.

‘Don’t forget to tell any potential babysitters what angels the girls mostly are. If you can distract them with the girls’ charms then maybe they won’t give a thought to what we’re doing.’

Ali smiled. ‘I will do my best.’

Quinn glanced at his sleeping angels in the back seat. ‘Can you believe I thought I’d like to do this all over again?’ he said.

‘Do what?’

‘Have more kids. But from what you’re saying, I’ll be lucky to have the time to go on a date, let alone have more kids.’

‘You’d like more children?’ Ali asked as her heart plummeted in her chest.

‘I would love it. The girls are the best thing that’s ever happened to me but I was so panicked and stressed out by the reality of finishing my studies and paying for a wife and two kids that I didn’t have time to enjoy the whole experience. I missed most of Julieanne’s pregnancy. I’ve missed most of the girls’ lives until now. I always swore I’d never be like my father and while I’ve never regretted having the twins I have still been a pretty absent dad. And I regret the fact that Julieanne and I couldn’t make our marriage work. If I ever get a chance to do it again, I’m going to do it properly.’

Quinn’s declaration exploded the little bubble of euphoria that had surrounded Ali all day, leaving her sitting in stunned silence. She really hadn’t expected him to be prepared to do the whole babies thing again. She hadn’t thought he’d need to. She couldn’t believe he wanted to. Why couldn’t he be content with what he already had? Surely he could concentrate on being father of the year to the two daughters he already had. Why did he need to do it all again?

Ali knew his reasons weren’t important. All that mattered was that he wouldn’t be able to have those experiences with her. If he wanted to experience a pregnant wife, he wouldn’t choose her. There would be no point.

She sat in silence. Quinn had said he wanted to spend time with her, that he wanted to take her away for a dirty weekend, but that was hardly the same as saying he wanted her to have his babies. She didn’t think he was looking for the next mother of his children right now so there was no need to tell him she wasn’t in contention. There was no need to tell him she couldn’t bear children.

Her day had begun so well and the middle had held such promise before it had all come crashing down, before reality had reared its ugly head. Perhaps she should just bow out gracefully now. Would that be best? To go now before they got any more involved? Was it better to give up any dreams of a future with Quinn? Because why would he want her?

Ali

I
N AN EFFORT
to keep occupied, hoping it wouldn’t leave her time to think about Quinn and his dreams for the future, dreams she couldn’t be part of, Ali buried herself in her work.

Quinn hadn’t returned to the clinic, although the girls had gone back to school. Helen’s sister had flown back to Hong Kong and Quinn and Helen were using the time to start to sort through Julieanne’s things. Ali knew he was busy too and she used the excuse that because he wasn’t working she was swamped with the extra patient load. That wasn’t quite true, she had volunteered to take on extra work, giving her mother a bit of spare time and ensuring she kept herself busy.

When he asked her about date-night plans she told him she hadn’t found a babysitter yet. She was glad she hadn’t voiced her idea that Tracey might be willing to babysit. She was glad of an excuse as to why they couldn’t be alone.

Keeping ultra-busy worked for a few days. For three
days she was able to resist the compulsion to call in and see him but on the fourth day she needed more than work to keep her mind occupied and off Quinn. She went home and started cooking. She cooked up a storm and as she layered samosas into foil containers, bagged up chicken and coriander pies and put the lids on the tubs of lamb rogan josh, she resisted the urge to take the food straight round to him. Maybe if she could resist for one more day the urge would pass.

But the following day at work visions of all the containers sitting in her mother’s fridge kept popping into her mind. They would never eat all that food. She’d
have
to freeze it or take it to Quinn. It would be wasted otherwise. And she’d hate to see it wasted. She decided to give in and take it to him after work.

Deb, the clinic nurse, stuck her head around the door, catching Ali just as she was about to shut her computer down for the day.

‘Ali, are you rushing out the door or do you have a second?’ she asked.

She was going to call in to see Quinn but she had no other plans. What had she done before Quinn had come into her life? She couldn’t think.

This had been her life. Her work. And it would be again. It would have to be.

‘No, it’s fine. What’s the matter?’ Maybe whatever Deb wanted would be enough of a distraction that she’d forget about her plans to call in at Quinn’s. Maybe whatever Deb wanted would keep her so busy that she wouldn’t have time. But never in a million years did she expect to hear Deb’s next words.

‘I’ve got Quinn’s mother-in-law here with the twins. One of them, Beth I think it is, is complaining of stomach pains. Can you take a look?’

Of course she could. After all, she was first and foremost a doctor. She didn’t want to dwell on the thought that this was all she might ever be. It was best just to get on with doing what she did and ignoring the things she couldn’t change.

Ali nodded and Deb opened the door wider to admit Helen and the twins.

Quinn’s daughters but not Quinn. She could do this.

‘Hello, Helen, hi, girls, how was school today?’

‘We didn’t go today,’ Eliza told her.

‘Beth started complaining of stomach pain after breakfast so I kept them both home,’ Helen replied. ‘I thought it might have been a psychological pain but she vomited up her lunch and the pain seems to be getting worse. Usually once three o’clock comes and school has finished for the day these pains miraculously improve, but that hasn’t been the case.’

‘Where’s Quinn?’ Ali asked, wondering why he wasn’t taking care of this situation.

‘He had meetings in the city,’ Helen explained. ‘He doesn’t know the girls are home. He had to see Julieanne’s lawyer and accountant, along with the bank and the financial planner. It was going to take most of the day and initially I didn’t think this was a major problem, but it appears otherwise now. I rang the girls’ usual doctor but they said they didn’t have any free appointments. I’m sorry to turn up unannounced but I didn’t know what else to do.’

‘It’s fine,’ Ali told her, trying to ease Helen’s concerns. ‘Of course I’ll take a look.’

Seeing Eliza and Beth side by side, it was obvious to Ali that Beth wasn’t making up her symptoms. Something was troubling her. She was pale and her eyes were dark. It appeared that the twins had inherited the same natural barometer in their eyes as Quinn had. They too had eyes that gave an indication of their feelings, happy, sad, worried or unwell.

‘Can you show me where it hurts, Beth?’

Beth rubbed one hand vaguely across her belly button. ‘Here, sort of,’ she said, ‘but it moves around a bit.’

‘Can you climb up onto the bed and I’ll see what I can find.’ Ali turned to Helen as Beth clambered onto the bed. ‘Has she had a bowel movement today that you know of?’

Helen shook her head. ‘Yesterday apparently.’

‘Temperature?’

‘It was normal when I took it this morning but it was up a little just an hour ago,’ Helen replied.

‘Lie down on your back, sweetie, I’m just going to take your temperature again.’ Ali held a tympanic thermometer in Beth’s ear but the reading was normal.

‘Can you bend your knees?’ Ali asked as she put a small pillow behind Beth’s knees to help to relax her abdominal muscles. ‘And show me your tummy.’

Beth lifted the hem of her T-shirt and pulled the waistband of her leggings down. Ali carefully inspected Beth’s skin but there were no external signs, no bruising, swelling or marks of any description.

She picked up her stethoscope. ‘I’m just going to
listen to your tummy. Can you breathe in and out for me, nice deep breaths. That’s right, good girl.’

Bowel sounds were present and normal and Ali moved her examination on to palpation. She pushed gently on Beth’s abdomen, starting on the left side just beneath her ribs. ‘Tell me if this hurts at all,’ she said to Beth. Beth shook her head as Ali worked her way down the left side. Ali tested for Rovsing’s sign in the left lower quadrant but there was no referred rebound, but it was a different story on the right side. As Ali quickly removed her hand from Beth’s right lower quadrant the young girl flinched and grimaced.

‘Was that the pain?’ Ali asked.

Beth nodded, tears welling in her eyes.

‘I think you have appendicitis.’

‘Is that bad?’ Eliza wanted to know.

‘It feels bad,’ Beth told her.

Ali smiled. ‘It does, doesn’t it?’ She pointed to an anatomical chart hanging on the wall. ‘See this tiny little thing here that looks a bit like a mini-sausage? That’s your appendix. It’s part of your intestines, where you digest your food. No one really knows what it’s doing there as you don’t need it, but sometimes it gets infected.’

‘And then what happens?’

‘A doctor can take it out and that will fix it. But you will have to go to the hospital to see the doctor.’

‘No.’

Ali initially thought the refusal came from Beth but it was Eliza’s voice, quiet but determined. She turned to look at her.

‘Eliza?’

‘I don’t want Beth to go to the hospital. I don’t want her to see a doctor there.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because Mum went to the hospital and she didn’t come home.’ Eliza’s voice caught on a sob. ‘I don’t want Beth to die.’

‘Oh, Liza,’ Ali said, as Helen knelt down and wrapped her arms around her granddaughter. ‘Beth is going to be fine. The Doctors can fix this.’

‘No. They didn’t fix Mum. Doctors are stupid.’

Eliza had the same stubborn set to her jaw that Ali recognised in Quinn. She knelt on the floor to bring herself down to Eliza’s eye level. ‘Your mum had something that couldn’t be operated on. They can fix Beth. I know the doctors at the children’s hospital, they do this surgery all the time. You must know other children who have had their appendix out?’

Eliza shook her head.

‘We do, Liza,’ Beth told her. ‘Sophie Abbott had hers out and she’s fine.’

‘What do we do now?’ Helen asked.

‘We need to ring Quinn, tell him what’s happened and get Beth down to the children’s hospital. I’ve finished consulting for the day and I know some of the surgeons there so I’m happy to meet Quinn there and speak to the doctors if you want to take Eliza home. I’m pretty sure they’ll want to remove Beth’s appendix. Eliza can come down and see Beth after surgery.’

Ali and Helen bundled Beth into Ali’s car. Ali waited for her phone to connect to the hands-free device and
then called up Scott’s contact details. She hadn’t told Helen that one of the surgeons she knew was her ex-boyfriend. She was sure Helen couldn’t have cared less who her contacts were. For a brief moment Ali wondered about the psychology of still having her ex-boyfriend’s number in her phone but she didn’t have time to dwell on that now. Did it matter? Not when he was the person Beth needed. Ali couldn’t think of too many other reasons why she’d even contemplate calling him, not after everything that had happened. But desperate times called for desperate measures and she decided it was fortunate she’d never got around to deleting his details.

She looked at the list of contact numbers. She had everything from his mobile number to his home landline, direct office, secretary and hospital. She knew she was unlikely to get Scott himself, not because he might see her number and choose not to answer but because he was always difficult to get hold of. She dialled the number for his secretary instead.

‘Sonia, hi, it’s Ali Jansson,’ she said as the call connected. ‘Is Scott about? I need a favour, it’s an emergency.’

Sonia, bless her, didn’t waste time quizzing her. ‘He’s not consulting at the moment,’ she replied. ‘He’s over at the hospital but hold on and I’ll see if I can get him for you.’ Her tone was as friendly as it had always been. If she knew the finer details of Ali and Scott’s break-up she wasn’t letting it show.

Ali drove down the freeway, heading for the city, as she waited to hear if Sonia could track down Scott. She kept one eye on Beth but she seemed to be coping.

‘Ali?’

‘Scott, I need a favour.’ She had no time for pleasantries and she was certain he wouldn’t expect them but surely, after all that transpired between them, he owed her one favour. ‘I’m on my way down to the hospital. I have a friend’s nine-year-old daughter with me, suspected appendicitis and the symptoms are escalating. Can you see her?’ There had to be some benefit to having an ex who was a paediatric general surgeon, even if she had sworn never to have anything to do with him again.

‘How far away are you?’

‘Twelve minutes.’

‘I’ll need parental permission.’

‘Her father’s meeting us there. Quinn Daniels, he’s an army medic, based in Queensland. I’ll tell him to ask for you.’ Scott didn’t need any more information than that.

‘Okay.’

Ali breathed a sigh of relief. She didn’t know why she’d been worried. Scott was a doctor, just like her, and patients would always come first. It was just fortunate that he wasn’t already in surgery. ‘Thank you.’

By the time Ali phoned Quinn he’d already spoken to Helen and was on his way to the hospital. As Ali pulled into the ambulance bay she saw him pacing to and fro in front of the automatic doors. His strides were long, as if by hurrying his paces he could speed up Beth’s arrival. His spine was stiff and straight, he was holding himself rigid, but the moment he spied her car she saw some of the tension ease from his shoulders
and the worried crease between his eyes softened a little. She forgot All the reasons why she was trying to keep her distance, forgot about the things he wanted that she couldn’t give him. All she could think of was jumping out of the car and wrapping her arms around him, hoping to ease some of his burden. Seeing him so worried and still keeping her distance was going to be more difficult than she imagined.

He had the passenger door open the moment she stopped the car. ‘Hello, princess,’ he greeted Beth as he unclipped her seat belt, before looking across at Ali. ‘Thanks,’ he said simply. ‘Are you coming in?’

Ali nodded. ‘I’ll park the car and meet you inside. Remember, ask for Scott Devereaux.’ Ali didn’t tell him anything more. She wasn’t deliberately avoiding a discussion but her history with Scott was irrelevant. He was an excellent surgeon and that was all that would matter to Quinn. She was pretty certain he wouldn’t think to ask how they knew each other and she wasn’t going to volunteer the information.

By the time she’d parked the car and made her way back to Emergency, Beth was already being prepped for surgery. It seemed as though her diagnosis had been correct and Scott wasn’t wasting any time. Ali was pleased. It meant Beth would be taken care of and she wouldn’t need to see Scott.

‘Can you wait with me?’ Quinn asked.

He was permitted to accompany Beth to Theatre but would then have to wait alone while Scott operated. Ali nodded. She would stay until Beth came out of Theatre.
She wouldn’t leave Quinn alone. She would stay until she knew everything was okay.

‘I can’t believe this has happened,’ Quinn said when he returned. ‘The first day I’ve left them alone since their mother died.’

‘You didn’t leave them alone. You left them with Helen. This isn’t your fault,’ Ali tried to reassure him. ‘Beth will be okay, Scott knows what he’s doing.’

‘God, I hope you’re right.’

‘I know I’m right.’ Ali didn’t doubt Scott’s surgical skills but for the first time She could truly imagine what it must be like to be so dependent on another person’s ability, and it wasn’t a good feeling. She reached across and held Quinn’s hand. ‘Beth will be fine but I do need to speak to you about Eliza.’

‘Eliza?’

Ali held onto his hand as she told him about Eliza’s fears. ‘She was really concerned. You’ll have to ask Helen to bring her down to see Beth as soon as she’s allowed visitors. I don’t think either of them will settle until they’ve seen each other,’ she concluded.

Quinn sighed and tipped his head back to rest it against the wall. ‘I can’t believe I was starting to think about going back to work. How do people manage this sole parenting thing? How will I work and manage if things like this come up? How will I ever manage army life?’

‘You’re staying in the army?’ Ali knew his return of service was almost up but after speaking to Julieanne at Quinn’s birthday party she had assumed Quinn would leave the army.