The Last Thing (21 page)

 I was almost five months along, and it was getting to the point
that I actually appeared pregnant and not fat.

My plans to save up money had fallen by the way side. The
health insurance at work ate up over eighty percent of my pay, and what little
was left over went to pay for doctor co-pays, gas, and other necessities. Chase
had even written me a few checks, but I’d refused to cash them. I didn’t want
his money. I wasn’t his wife.

Though our relationship was in a better place, it wasn’t as
if our worlds were intertwined.  We each led separate lives, and the only
time our paths crossed was on the rare moment Chase wasn’t shooting or
promoting a movie.  When Halloween came, it had been almost two weeks
since I’d seen Chase. He’d just wrapped up filming and was now on a US tour to
promote his upcoming projects.

I sat on the couch flipping through stations trying to catch
one of his interviews on a talk show.  I had to admit, Chase was extremely
talented, and every other girl in the world seemed to be catching on to that
fact as well.  Chase had asked me to stay away from the media, but I
missed him. If seeing him through a TV was the only way we could connect, so be
it.

 I smiled when I found what I was looking for. Chase’s
face appeared on the screen as the talk show hosts began to talk about how they
were enjoying their newfound fame. I curled up against my velvety throw and
opened up a bag of popcorn.

“Chase Crowley,” a dark-haired woman said to him, leaning
forward in her seat, “last year you played Travis on
Timelines. 
Now,
you’re the star of one of the most talked about movies of the year. How are you
adjusting to your newfound fame?”

Chase rubbed his leg nervously with his right hand, like he
always did when put on the spot and gave the hostess a spunky grin. That one
smile was enough to make the entire studio full of girls start screaming.

“I love it. Acting has been my dream since I was a kid, so
this whole thing is…unbelievable.”

Aww. I really am lucky to have such a talented boyfriend.
Boyfriend? If that’s what I can call him.

“Any special girl in your life?”

“I’m seeing someone.”

A few girls booed.

“Hey!” I yelled at the screen.

“And what about the rumors that you and Chloe James are a
couple?”

What?

The screen shot out so that you could see his reaction. Chase
shrugged carelessly. He was even smiling.

“I would prefer not to talk about my private life,” he told
her.

“So you aren’t denying it….”

“I’m not confirming it.” Chase said with a wink. Once again,
the girls in the audience screamed.

What the hell? Most of the rumors about him were fake, but he
didn’t deny it. This had to be a mistake. Had he found someone else while
traveling? I reached for the remote and quickly turned off the TV. I didn’t
want to jump to conclusions, but what if they had fallen in love while filming?
It happened. After all, she was there and I wasn’t. I picked up my cell phone
and called Ginger. She was filming today, but I hoped that she was in between
scenes. I rocked back and forth on my heels as the phone rang. Why wasn’t she
picking up?

“Everything okay?” Ginger asked.

“I need an honest answer. I need it now. Are Chase and Chloe
dating?”

“Umm…”

“You better tell me. I swear Ginger, I’ll tell all the
magazines about the time you—”

“Okay, okay. You have to understand, Quinn. These types of
things are publicity stunts to gain exposure. I have heard rumors, but there’s
nothing
really
going on between them.”

“How do you know?” My entire heart ached.

“Because he told me last month. He didn’t want to stress you
out. He wanted you to be secure in the relationship before you had to deal with
these types of rumors. He’s a celebrity, Quinn.  These things are a part
of his life.  Talk to him. Don’t shut him out. I would give anything to
have a man turn his life around like Chase has done for you. Please, just
relax. Do you need me to come home?”

I took a deep breath, counting slowly to calm myself
down.  Ginger was right. I couldn’t live life being afraid that Chase
would leave me.  He had promised that after this movie, he’d take a break
to spend some time with me. There was no reason to believe that he was
with Chloe. Besides the fact that he didn’t
deny it!

“No, I’m fine. I thought that maybe he had found someone
better. Someone not all fat and pregnant. ” I switched the phone to my other
ear so I could fidget with my hair. I nervously twirled it around my finger.

“I didn’t think things were that serious between you guys?
Has something changed?”

Had it? Did I really get into such a panic over this rumor?

“Yes…I mean no…I mean… I don’t know exactly. Fine, I admit I
have…strong feelings for him.”

That wasn’t so painful, Quinn.

“You stay there. I’ll bring home dinner in about an hour and
we will have a much needed girl’s night.”

That sounded fun. Ginger had been so busy recently that we
hadn’t had any time to hang out.

“Thai food?”

“Sure thing.”

I hung up with Ginger feeling a bit better, but even more
alone in that huge house.

While I waited for her to come home, I cleaned up my room a
bit and did some laundry.  Most of my clothes were getting too small, and I
would have to break down and buy some clothes eventually. In fact, I would have
to break down and tell people I was pregnant eventually. My parents would want
to know. I could practically feel the disappointing stares from my mother.  I
was never going to be the daughter that they could be proud of. I always
screwed things up.

Just like that, my reasonable mood crashed, and a feeling of
worthlessness and pain filled my void. When I got these feelings, I normally
laid in bed all day, but I couldn't do that anymore. I had to claw my way out
of this one, for my baby. The triggers were always unexpected and that meant I
was unprepared. Feeling even sorrier for myself, I pulled on some old clothes
and began my laundry. Though I was still safely in my room, I could hear the
sounds of metal crunching around me and water filling my ears. I was trapped in
a state of panic. The flashbacks were always quick, and I had to let it play
out.

“Quinn….stay with me.”

 Bash’s words replayed in my head. I didn’t want to stay with
him. I was too scared.  My phone beeped, alerting me to an incoming text. I
finished loading the washer and picked up my phone.

Chase: I miss you. Coming home this weekend. Any plans?

This was the first time he had gotten in touch with me today.

Me: It’s Halloween weekend. Of course.

Chase: Party?

Me: Candy.

Chase: How are you and the baby?

Me: We’re doing fine. I find out the sex next week.

Chase: No shit! Why didn’t you tell me?

Me: You’ve been working non-stop for weeks. We haven’t
exactly been able to do much together.

Chase: I’m sorry, dear. I know things have been rough. Please
don’t shut me out from the baby stuff. We are in this together.

Me: I’m sorry. It’s just hard to share this with you when
you’re so far away. I will try to remember to keep you updated.

Chase: Good. I have a red carpet event in an hour. Can we Skype
tonight?

Me: Sure.

Chase: TTYL

I pushed my insecurities away when the front door slammed,
and Ginger announced that she was here to save the day.

I skipped into the kitchen and sat next to Ginger, who was
made-up immaculately and dressed in a Juicy Couture jumpsuit.

“Damn, girl. What are you wearing?” She put her hands on her
hips and raised a brow at me. I observed my old stained white t-shirt and pair
of boxer shorts. They had both belonged to Bash, which Ginger was well aware
of.

“I’m doing laundry.”

“Why are you wearing
his
clothes?”

I didn’t have an answer. I packed them because they were
comfortable, but didn’t have a real reason to be wearing them.

“I don’t have anything that fits right now.”

“Boo-hoo, Nancy Drew. That means we go shopping. You don’t
wear your dead ex-boyfriend’s clothes. It’s not healthy, Quinn.”

I grabbed the boxes of Thai food she brought in and started
in on the fried rice.

“It isn’t a big deal,” I told her between bites. “We were
together for five years. Just about everything I have belonged to him or was
given to me by him.”

“Well isn’t that why you moved here? To get away?”

I swallowed my mouth full of rice and set my spoon down.

“Why are you hounding me? I’ve worn plenty of clothes he gave
me in front of you.”

“Not in a month or so. Not since you started dating Chase.
You may not notice, honey, but I do keep an eye on you.”

“I just threw it on…” The tone in my voice was to convince us
both.

“Why? Why?” She threw her hands up in the air. Even with her
mouth full of food, she continued to yell at me. It came out sounding more like
“Mah in the well rum rish woo?”

I gave her a questioning look until she swallowed the food
and tried once more to speak.

“I said. What in the hell is wrong with you? I’m sorry, but I
have sat back long enough while you played with fire. The doctors told us we
were supposed to be
patient
and let you deal with this in your own time.
You’re falling back into this rut for the last time. Snap out of it. You’re
about to become a mother and you have a great guy who wants you.”

I groaned loudly. “I’m not gonna kill myself, if that’s what
you’re afraid of.”

Things were never going to get that bad again.

“Really? How do you think I felt, getting a phone call in the
middle of the night that my cousin had tried to kill herself? It was damn scary,
and you were too busy feeling sorry for yourself to see what you were putting
everyone else through.”

She was right. I’d come here to be normal. Not prance around
in Bash’s clothes griping about Chase.

“You’re right. I had a trigger. But things are okay now.
Honest.”

She eyed me as if she didn’t believe what I was saying.

“Fine, but you need to call Chase and bring him home quick.
You need his support with everything that is going on. You don’t need stress during
a pregnancy.”

“He’ll be home this weekend. He promised that we would get to
spend time together. Plus we get to find out the sex of the baby…” The last
phrase made Ginger squeal. Loudly, I might add.

“Good, that selfish bastard should have canceled his movies
to care for you.”

“I never expected him to do that. I’m not helpless, and I
thought your liked Chase,” I scoffed.

“Whatever. Let’s eat this cuisine and salvage the rest of the
night. Sorry I went off on you, by the way.”

“It’s okay. I deserved it.”

“No you didn’t. I freaked out when I heard you on the phone.
The way you sounded. I was scared that I might lose you again.”

She put a hand out and pulled me into a hug.

“I’m not going anywhere. I swear.”

Silence hung in the air, and I knew that we both wanted to
talk about it. After all these month, could we talk about why our friendship
had drifted apart?

“You left me.” I said. She knew exactly what I was talking
about. The day we graduated from high school, she had packed up her stuff and
hightailed it to Hollywood in search of stardom.
How typical.

“I know.” She didn’t offer up any excuses.

“We were best friends and you left me without even so much as
a goodbye.”

“Hey now,” She held out her hand to stop me from speaking, “I
called you. I explained that I wanted to become an actress. I’m sorry that I
didn’t visit, but I invited you here. I offered you the exact same thing that
I’d needed. A way out.”

“What I
needed
my best friend. When my world fell
apart, I needed you there. I had no one. Absolutely no one.”

I popped a spring roll in my mouth and chewed in silence.

“All I can do is apologize. I was drowning in that place. There
are things—why did it take us so long to have this conversation anyway?”

“Because we’ve been busy with work and boys.”

“Boys…ahhh.”

This was just what I needed. Some bonding time to help take
my mind off Chase. And as much as I wanted my mind off Chase, Ginger brought
him up.

“I take it that you and Chase are getting serious now?”

“Something like that. We’re taking it slow though.”

“You know, a simple solution would be to go public. No more
rumors; no more Chloe.”