The Master's Choice (10 page)

Gasping for air, as stunned as he obviously was by her actions, she waited for him to respond. And drank in the sight of him. Standing in front of the fire, legs apart and hands planted on his hips, with his hard cock jutting out, he looked very much like he’d sprung from the depths of hell. And he was the demon whose touch she craved.

After
he explained what the hell was going on.

“You are a bad girl,” he said quietly.

“Stay away from me,” she told him, holding a hand out when he stepped over the cushion. “Just…stay away.”

“What are you talking about?” he demanded. “We have a contract.”

No, it was more a growl. She could tell he was pissed. Well, fine. She was scared and angry, and she wanted answers.

He was on her before she could blink. His long arms reached down and hauled her up against his taut body. Her feet dangled near his knees. He set her down so roughly that she fell onto the couch. Feeling vulnerable, she grabbed the fleece throw nearby and wrapped it around her shoulders. He loomed over her.

“I don’t understand,” Ally whispered, drawing her legs against her chest.

“What? What don’t you understand?” His frustration was obvious even in her shaken state.

“Everything. I don’t understand why you chose me when you knew I was new to the lifestyle. I don’t understand how you affect me the way you do. I don’t understand why no one else does. I don’t understand why you left me the first time, or the second. Or—”

“Stop,” he ordered in a calm, controlled voice. She snapped her jaw shut. “I didn’t leave you the second time. I went down to the pub. When I came back,
you
were gone.”

She stared at him in shock. “You came back?” she breathed, hope welling in her heart.

“I did,” he replied. He paced away from the couch for a moment as if to collect his thoughts and control his emotions.

“You know I was in the military?” he gritted as he came back to where she sat.

“Yes.” She winced at the error. “Sir.”

He paused then sighed. “I think while we’re having this discussion, we’ll ignore the normal protocol.”

She glanced up at him. “No punishments?”

“Before or after you took off the blindfold?”

“Both,” she whispered. “Please. Just explain things to me. Help me understand you and why…” She looked up and saw the pain in his expression. “I know I won’t understand everything you’ve been through. No one can, except someone who has been in your shoes. My grandfather survived the Battle of the Bulge and my uncle survived Vietnam. Having someone listen can be the biggest help of all. It doesn’t block the memories, but it can make them easier to deal with.”

Somewhere behind her, something began gurgling.

“The coffeemaker,” he explained when she tried to see over the back of the couch and the high counter. “I thought you’d sleep longer and I needed to get back onto some sort of schedule.”

“Do you need some before we talk?”

He shook his head. “No. I’ll give it a minute before I get a cup. Liam said you drink tea. I’ve got that, too.”

“Thank you,” she replied, more confused than ever by the man who stood in front of her.

He stared down at her, frowning. “Stay there.”

Since Ally had no idea where her clothes were, much less if she even had any, she wasn’t planning on moving. He went into the bedroom. She heard a drawer open and close. A moment later, he returned with partially buttoned jeans slung low on his hips. He sat down at the opposite end of the couch.

“My mother became pregnant with me during a college trip to Europe. She…” He smiled. “She’s a good woman. Was a bit naïve then, but smart as anything. She refused to marry just because it would make things easier for her.” He took a deep breath. “At this year’s Fourth of July celebration, she said that if she’d realized how hard it would be for me, she would have.” He shook his head. “But it wouldn’t have been right, and I told her that.”

“You love her very much,” she said simply.

“Absolutely,” he confirmed with a nod of his head. “And I have a feeling she is going to love you. Once she stops crying.” He shook his head and held a hand up to still her questions. “I was in the Army for twenty-one years. Joined right out of high school. I’d always had good hand-eye coordination and got into Special Forces easily. My shooting was good so I became a sniper.”

Getting beyond his comments about his mother meeting her, Ally listened, understanding what he
didn’t
say. Special Forces were elite and becoming a sniper rare. He had been at the top of the military chain, part of a group that went on the most dangerous missions. She rested her chin on her knees and watched him intently.

“I was deployed for Desert Shield and Storm, a few missions after, and then 9/11 happened.”

When he paused, she whispered. “Did you know anyone in the Towers? Or the Pentagon?”

“Yeah,” he replied quietly. “Both. And friends of friends that were on the planes out of Boston.” He met her gaze. “You?”

“One of my best friends from college. She’d just started work three weeks before.”

“Innocents,” he stated.

“Yes,” she agreed. “Did you get some of the ones who were behind their murders?”

She could see the light in his eyes. The realization that she understood and wanted some sort of justice. And the caution in his voice told her more.

“There are fewer of them now because of what our teams did.”

“Good,” she replied with a nod. “I wish you hadn’t had to go, but I’m glad you did.” She closed her eyes and cringed. “I know that sounds horrible, but I…” She exhaled. “I’m sorry. I interrupted you.”

“It’s all right.”

His voice was low, as if he was remembering things he’d done, people he’d known, and, she hoped, realizing that they had more in common than a hunger for rough sex.

He stayed silent. The only sound was the grandfather clock behind her.

“What happened, JW?” she whispered.

“The constant tension and stress wore my nerves down. I knew what we were doing meant something, but…it was never enough. We would take out ten and it seemed as if twenty appeared to take their places. By this past April, I couldn’t sleep more than a couple hours at a time. I could feel myself getting wound tighter and tighter. Drawing closer and closer to the point of being more a danger to people around me than to the enemy.” He closed his eyes and leaned his head back along the couch. “I’m thirty-nine, so I put in my retirement papers. And now…” He sighed. “Now I don’t know what the fuck to do.”

She followed her instincts and crawled along the couch to him. Sitting on his lap, she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder, curling up so her legs were tucked under her again. After a long moment, the tension in his body lessened and his arms went around her.

“My grandfather said that getting up every morning was a victory over his enemies,” she said quietly. “And his demons.”

“I left,” JW said, as if struggling with his thoughts. “I left before that job was finished, and the enemies are still out there. I could still do something.”

She put her hand along his jaw and turned his head so she could see his face. “You just said that you needed away from it. You served your country honorably.”

He listened, clearly not wanting to hear or accept her words. Slowly, though he nodded, his arms tightening around her.

“I know. I know. It’s just…no matter how much I tell myself that, my conscience won’t accept it.”

With a last squeeze around her waist, he set her back on the couch and stood up. For a long moment, he didn’t move. Wrapping her arms around her legs, she rested her chin on her knees and waited for him to say or do something. She had a feeling that if she was quiet, he’d open up.

JW went to the fireplace and added another log.

“I probably need a shrink,” he admitted, still squatting on the hearth. “I think I picked you in June because you were new. If I made a mistake, you wouldn’t know the difference.”

“So we both used the scene as a therapy,” she commented. “Did that first time mean anything to you? Or was it just fucking?”

“Oh, it definitely meant something.” The heat in his eyes reassured her. “Fucking you was more than just about an available body. We met when we did for a reason,” he replied.

“And the second time?”

He smiled at her. “You could feel the difference, couldn’t you?”

She thought about her need to feel his body heat when he was spanking her, how wonderful it had been to fall asleep in his arms.

“I could.”

“You’ve been married…”

“No,” she whispered. “I can’t go there.”

His head whipped around. She could see his fists clench. “Ally, we’re getting everything out now.”

She sighed.

“Kevin was…mechanical. Selfish. He wouldn’t know the definition of foreplay if you smacked him in the head with a dictionary. When I couldn’t respond to him in anyway, he—” She swallowed. “He said it was my fault. That I wasn’t a real woman.” She heard JW growl and smiled. “Needless to say, my confidence and sexuality were shredded. So Andy suggested the Club.”

“Did it work?” he asked.

Startled out of her reverie, she saw that he’d settled himself on the cushion in front of the fireplace and was watching her intently. For a few heartbeats, she considered her answer and remembered what he’d said. This was the moment to talk. To tell him everything.

“Only with you.” Surprise showed in his face and she smiled. “JW, I don’t know how or why, but you were able to get past all my baggage. I trusted you without question. I didn’t even think about my safeword that first time. I wanted you to do whatever you wanted with me.” She bit her lip and looked away as she remembered that first time. “I felt like a failure when I realized you’d left me there. Master Liam said you were pleased with me, but still…” Her voice trailed off.

“I was picked in the selection room three more times. They were good masters and the other subs enjoyed their time with them, but…” She shrugged and twisted her mouth in a grimace. “I just didn’t feel the same connection I had with you. I used my safeword with each of them. Master Liam decided it was best to use me for classes and demonstrations.”

“With no fucking allowed,” JW added.

That startled her.

“I didn’t know that,” she admitted. “I asked him in August if you were coming back and—”

“August,” he grunted.

“What?” Pain had flashed across his face.

“A friend of mine was captured in Afghanistan in late July and briefly held by the Taliban.”

“Ben Hancock,” she whispered, covering her mouth with a trembling hand.

He nodded, closing his eyes. “His men disobeyed orders and went after him.”

She digested that a moment. “Don’t,” she told him firmly. “Don’t compare what they did to you retiring.”

“How can I not?” he demanded, opening his eyes and glaring at her. “They went in and got him and are more than happy to accept the consequences. I didn’t. I quit.”

“No!” Scrambling off the couch, Ally went to him and knelt on the rug. “You didn’t quit. You retired. There’s a difference. You know that.” She reached out and touched his cheek. “I know that.”

His eyes bore into hers and she could hardly breathe. Suddenly, his right arm pulled the fleece from her shoulders, snaked around her waist, and hauled her onto his lap. Sprawled over his thighs, she looked up at him.

“I guess before we end this chat, I should explain your contract to you.”

She swallowed. “Please.”

“First, you earned a punishment for going into something like this blind.”

Ally nodded. Okay, that made sense. “I understand.”

“We will have a public relationship. Obviously, there will be certain things we don’t discuss around others, but I’m not hiding you away. If you behave like you did at the board meeting, you’ll be a very good girl,” he murmured, his hand sliding down her stomach. “Work and social time, we’ll figure out along the way. And, we will get married. Which means,” he added, his fingers teasing her weeping folds. “That I can’t walk away from you and you can’t walk out on me.”

“Married?” she gasped, certain she’d heard him wrong. “But, your mother…”

“Mother will love you,” he assured her. “The Franklin’s standard pre-nup was in the packet of papers you signed, so our marriage won’t be an issue.”

“What?” She stared at him. “A pre-nup.”

“Never, ever, sign something without reading it thoroughly.” He smiled. “Losing you is not an option.”

“Neither is walking naked through a few feet of snow. I have no clothes and no idea where we are and you’re talking to me about marriage and pre-nups,” grumbled Ally.

He laughed. It was the first time she’d seen his expression so light and she smiled.

“Oh, and two more things,” he warned, thrusting two fingers into her pussy while teasing her clit with his thumb. “When we’re alone from now on, we will follow master-slave protocol.”

“Yes, master,” she whispered, trying to focus on what he was saying. “And the second?”

“I wrote children into the pre-nup as well. No more birth control pills. You will have
my
children.”

Ally stared up at him.
Had he really said that?
For as long as she could remember, she’d wanted children. Kevin had been enraged the first time she’d brought it up. Her eyes filled with tears.

“Babies? You want children?”

Holding her tightly against his chest, JW watched her as she absorbed everything he’d told her. Her eyes were shiny and wet as she whispered the last three words. For the first time, he felt a hint of uncertainty. She seemed stunned that he wanted children. That he wanted her to have
his
children.

“I want children,” he confirmed in a low voice. “I know I went too far, but—”

She put two fingers over his lips. “Yes, but I think I understand.”

“Then you better explain it to me because I’m not sure I do. Liam, Grant, and Bronson didn’t either,” he added.

She smiled up at him. “Control. You needed to establish your control and dominance over me and the relationship.”