The Midwife's Christmas Miracle (5 page)

That was another thought that needed to bite the dust, fast. Max mentally ground it beneath his heel, praying that would be the last he heard of it. Getting hung up on the idea that Lucy would sleep with him was the last thing he needed!

‘Yes, I do. Rachel set up an advisory service for teenage mums in Sophie’s position a couple of years ago. Rachel was a teenage mum herself so she understands the problems better than most people do. I’ve heard a lot of good reports about the work they do.’

‘What a brilliant idea!’ Lucy exclaimed. ‘I know we hold classes for all the new mums but it’s impossible to cover everything in the time we can spend with them. The younger mums in particular could do with a lot more help.’

‘That’s why Rachel decided to set up this advisory service,’ Max told her. ‘I sat in on a session last year and it was excellent—good, sound advice presented in a way that the girls could understand but not feel as though they were being talked down to.’

‘It’s exactly what Sophie needs. She’s very capable;
all the staff have said how good she is with Alfie. She just needs to gain a bit more confidence in herself.’

‘Then the classes would be ideal for her. Another plus is that she’ll meet other girls in her situation and hopefully make some friends. She won’t feel quite so alone if she has someone her own age to talk to.’

‘It’s the perfect solution. Thanks, Max. I’ll give Dr Thompson a call and see what she has to say.’

Lucy smiled at him, her whole face lighting up with delight, and Max felt another surge of heat flow through him and wash away every sensible thought he’d had. Maybe he didn’t want to rush her, but he had to start somewhere.

‘Look, Lucy,’ he began, then stopped when the phone rang. He tried to curb his impatience as he reached for the receiver, but it was frustrating to be interrupted at such a crucial moment. ‘Maternity. Max Curtis speaking.’

It was A and E requesting his assistance with a patient who’d been involved in an RTA. She was twenty weeks pregnant and bleeding heavily, and they needed him there, stat.

Max promised them he’d be straight there and hung up. He explained to Lucy that he had to go and left, sighing as he made his way to the lift. Another couple of seconds and he would have asked her out, but would that really have been the wise thing to do? Lucy wasn’t the sort of woman he usually went out with. She would expect more from a relationship than a few casual dates, invest more of herself into it too. Was he prepared for that when it went against all his rules?

For the past three years, he had avoided commitment yet he knew in his heart that he wouldn’t be able to do
that with Lucy. Lucy made him dream about home and family, made him long for happily-ever-after, and they were all the things he could never have.

What he needed was a distraction to take his mind off her. It had been months since he’d been out on a date, now that he thought about it. He’d been too busy with work to worry about socialising and it was time he rectified that. There was a new nurse in A and E, who’d made it clear that she was interested in him; he would invite her out for dinner at the weekend.

As for Lucy, well, he would get over this crush or whatever it was in time. He had to. He certainly didn’t intend to have his life disrupted all over again.

T
HE
day flew past. They had no sooner admitted Fiona Walker, the patient involved in the RTA, when two other mums phoned to say they were in labour. It meant they were really stretched to keep up but Lucy was glad because it gave her less time to brood about what had happened with Max. Maybe he did see her as an attractive and desirable woman, and maybe it was a boost to her confidence, but in her heart she knew it would be a mistake to get involved with him.

She had just escaped from one disastrous relationship and she needed to concentrate on putting her life back together. Perhaps a time would come when she felt able to trust a man again but not yet. And definitely not someone like Max. No matter how good he made her feel, Max was strictly off limits.

Lucy felt a little better after she had made her decision. By the time her shift ended, she felt much calmer about what had happened. Amanda was in the office when Lucy went to sign out; she looked up and grimaced.

‘What a day! I couldn’t believe it when those two mums turned up one after the other like that.’

‘It has been hectic,’ Lucy agreed. She filled in the
time next to her name then glanced at Amanda and frowned. ‘Aren’t you supposed to be off duty now as well?’

‘I wish! I’m still trying to sort out the Christmas timetable,’ Amanda explained. ‘Every time I make a start on it, something happens, but I need to get it done soon.’

‘Are you having problems finding people to work?’ Lucy asked sympathetically.

‘Yes. Normally, we use a rota system so that anyone who works nights over Christmas is off at New Year. Unfortunately, there aren’t enough staff to do that this year.’ Amanda sighed. ‘Folk aren’t going to be too pleased when they find out they’re having to work both holidays.’

‘I don’t mind working,’ Lucy offered. She shrugged when Amanda looked at her in surprise. ‘I wasn’t planning on doing anything so I may as well work.’

‘Are you sure?’ Amanda said uncertainly. ‘I thought you’d want to go home and see your family.’

‘No, it’s fine. Really.’ She smiled at the other woman, not wanting to explain why she preferred to remain in Dalverston. She had been dreading Christmas and the New Year, if she was honest. Her parents would expect her to go home and she couldn’t face the thought of seeing everyone again. Working over the holidays would give her the perfect excuse to avoid it. ‘You can put me down for Christmas and New Year if it helps.’

‘Oh, it does!’ Amanda assured her. She added Lucy’s name to the timetable then printed out a copy and held it aloft. ‘All done! Am I glad we hired you. I can’t imagine anyone else volunteering to do a double stint of nights!’

‘It isn’t a problem,’ Lucy said quickly, feeling a little uncomfortable when she would benefit from her offer far more than Amanda would. She picked up her bag and turned to leave. ‘I’ll be off, then. See you tomorrow.’

‘Rightio…Oh, before I forget, what are you doing on Saturday night?’

Lucy paused. ‘Nothing. Why?’

‘A few of us have decided to go out for a pre-Christmas meal,’ Amanda explained. ‘It’s just me, Joanna, Cathy and Margaret so far, although I’m hoping a couple of the community midwives will be able to join us. We’re going to that Indian restaurant in the town centre so how do you fancy it?’

‘I’d love to come,’ Lucy agreed immediately. It was just what she needed, in fact, the first step towards building a social life. The first step towards taking her mind off Max, too. She hurriedly dismissed that thought. ‘What time are you meeting up?’

‘Seven o’clock outside the restaurant,’ Amanda informed her, then looked up and smiled. ‘Oh, good. I was hoping to catch you before you left. How do you fancy coming out for a curry on Saturday night?’

Lucy glanced round to see who Amanda was talking to and felt her heart jolt when she saw Max standing in the doorway. It was hard to maintain an outward show of calm as he came into the room. It wasn’t just the fact that Max had seemed attracted to her that had shocked her, of course, but that she had reciprocated. Bearing in mind what had happened recently, she should have been immune to his appeal, but there was no point pretending. Even though she knew that Max was the last man she should get involved with, there was something about him that drew her.

Max could feel his body humming with tension as he walked into the office. He nodded to Lucy, hoping she couldn’t tell how on edge he felt. Maybe he did intend to get over this…
crush
he seemed to have developed on her but it could take a little time. ‘Sorry. I’m afraid I can’t make it on Saturday. I’ve made other plans.’

‘Oh, I see!’ Amanda grinned at him. ‘So who’s the lucky lady, then? Don’t tell me it’s still that nurse from Paeds? She must be well past her sell-by date by now!’

Amanda laughed but Max was hard pressed to raise a smile. Even though he knew she hadn’t meant any harm, he couldn’t help feeling uncomfortable about Lucy hearing the comment. Although he was the first to admit that he’d been out with a lot of women, it wasn’t nearly as many as people seemed to believe.

There was little he could do to redress the situation, unfortunately, so he changed the subject. ‘I just came to see how Fiona Walker’s been doing since she was transferred from A& and E. Has the bleeding stopped yet?’

‘I’m not sure. Lucy has been monitoring her,’ Amanda informed him.

‘How is she?’ Max repeated, turning to Lucy. He felt his heart give another unsteady lurch and had to batten it down, wondering exactly how long it would take to get things back onto a more even keel. The problem was that he had never experienced this kind of reaction before so he had no way of knowing if it would take days or even weeks. He sighed under his breath. Knowing that he could be in for a rough ride every time he spoke to her wasn’t the most comforting prospect.

‘The bleeding has eased off, although it hasn’t
stopped. Diane did another ultrasound and the baby is still moving about so that’s a good sign. And there’s been no cramping either,’ she added quietly.

‘Good. All we can do is hope that everything settles down.’ He turned to Amanda, determined to get a grip on himself. No matter how long it took, he knew what he needed to do. ‘I’ll be here for another hour at least so call me if there’s a problem.’

‘Will do, although it won’t be me you hear from.’ Amanda stood up. ‘Thanks to Lucy,
I
am going home.’

‘Lucy?’ Max queried, wondering what she meant.

‘Yes. Lucy has only gone and volunteered to work nights over Christmas
and
New Year.’ Amanda picked up the timetable and showed it to him. ‘I’ve been struggling to get this finished for days and now it’s all sorted, thanks to her. She’s a real star, wouldn’t you agree, Max?’

‘I…um…yes, of course.’ Max summoned a smile, wondering why it bothered him so much to learn that Lucy had offered to work over the holidays. Surely she would want to be with her family at this time of the year, he thought. It was what he planned to do, spend time with his parents and brothers, and he couldn’t understand why she didn’t want to do that too…unless she preferred to remain in Dalverston rather than to go home and face whatever situation she had run away from.

His heart ached at the thought of what she must have been through but there was nothing he could do about it. He left the office and went to check on the two mums who’d been admitted that afternoon. One had just delivered a baby girl and there was nothing he needed to do except congratulate the parents. The other was well advanced with her labour and once again his
services weren’t needed. Diane was on call that night so technically he was free to leave. However, there was paperwork that needed doing first.

He went to the desk and entered Fiona Walker’s notes into the computer. It was a job that Diane would normally have done but he’d never been one to worry unduly about protocol. He sighed as he printed out a copy for the patient’s file, aware that it was merely an excuse. The truth was that he was filling in time because he didn’t want to go home and spend the evening thinking about what had happened that day.

It was pointless going over it, time and time again. The fact was that Lucy wasn’t right for him and he most definitely wasn’t right for her. He had already taken the first step towards addressing the problem by asking someone else out and, hopefully, that should be the end of it. Once he got back into the swing of dating, he would forget about Lucy and the danger she presented to his peace of mind.

Lucy took her time getting ready on Saturday night. She had a long soak in the bath then washed and dried her hair, brushing the chestnut curls until they gleamed. It had taken her ages to decide what to wear but she’d finally decided on a jade-green top teamed with a pair of black trousers. High-heeled black patent shoes added a touch of elegance to the outfit as well as adding a welcome couple of inches to her height. When she stepped in front of the mirror, she couldn’t help thinking that she looked more like herself than she had done in ages. The past six months had taken their toll but it felt as though she had turned a corner now. Moving to Dalverston had
been the right thing to do, even if it had posed a few problems she had never anticipated.

Lucy clamped down on that thought as she fetched her coat and left the flat. There was no way that she was going to start thinking about Max again tonight. The restaurant was in the high street and she was able to walk there. Margaret and Joanna had already arrived and they decided to go inside to wait for the others rather than stand in the street. Amanda was the last to arrive, full of apologies for keeping them waiting.

‘Sorry, sorry! My taxi didn’t turn up and I had to phone for another one.’ She draped her coat over a chair and sat down. ‘Anyway, guess who I saw on my way here?’

‘No idea,’ Cathy piped up, handing her a menu. ‘So come on, tell us—who did you see?’

‘Only Max with that new nurse from A and E.’ Amanda grinned when everyone gasped. ‘That’s not the best bit either. I saw them going into Franco’s
.
’

‘Franco’s?’ Margaret’s brows shot up. ‘It costs an arm and a leg in there. I should know because Jim took me there on my birthday and he’s never stopped moaning about how much it cost him ever since!’

‘It’s the most expensive restaurant in town,’ Amanda agreed. ‘Max must have high hopes for the evening if he’s coughing up that sort of money!’

Everyone laughed but Lucy found it impossible to join in. The thought of Max wining and dining the other woman as a prelude to spending the night with her was almost more than she could bear.

The thought seemed to cast a shadow over the evening. Far too often, she found herself wondering what Max was doing. Was he turning on the charm, steering
the evening in the direction he wanted it to end? She sighed because it had nothing to do with her what he did. Max was a free agent and if he chose to sleep with every single nurse in the hospital that was up to him. She had no right to feel hurt when he was simply living up to his reputation, no rights at all where he was concerned. For some reason that thought made her feel even worse.

The evening proved to be less of a success than Max had hoped it would be. Normally, he enjoyed getting to know the women he dated. He genuinely liked women and was interested in finding out what made them tick. However, he found it hard to summon up any real enthusiasm that night.

He did his best, of course, but he was very aware that he was merely going through the motions. It was a relief when he could bring the evening to an end and drive his date home. He could tell that she was disappointed when he refused her offer of coffee but there was nothing he could do about it. The truth was that he wasn’t interested in coffee or anything else that was on offer. Although sex may have been enough of an inducement at one time, it held little appeal for him now, and it was worrying to admit it.

He drove home and let himself into his apartment. Tossing his keys onto the sideboard, he took a long look around the place he’d called home for the past three years. Everywhere was perfect from the gleaming, pale wooden floors to the stark, white-painted walls. He’d bought the furniture as part of the package when he’d moved in: chunky black leather sofas; chrome and glass side tables; a state-of-the-art entertainment system. It
was the archetypal bachelor pad and all of a sudden he loathed everything it represented.

This wasn’t him, not the person he really was inside. He had been hiding behind this façade for the last three years and he couldn’t hide behind it any longer. Discovering that he could never father a child had been a devastating blow. It had left him feeling as though he was less than a man and he had tried to compensate for that by having all those affairs. However, in his heart he knew that sex was no longer the answer.

He sank down onto the sofa as he forced himself to face the truth. He could sleep with a million women but it wouldn’t change the way he felt about himself, certainly wouldn’t change the facts. He would never be a father, never experience the joy of holding his own child in his arms. There would always be this huge gap in his life and nothing he did could make up for that.

It might have been different if he could have shared his sorrow with someone who loved him enough to bear the burden with him, but it wouldn’t be fair to expect any woman to give up her dreams of motherhood for him. It was why his marriage had failed. Becky’s feelings for him hadn’t been strong enough to compensate for them not having a child. While Max didn’t blame her for feeling that way, it hurt to know that he hadn’t been enough for her, that she’d needed more. It made him see that it would take a very special woman to love him purely for himself.

Just for a second an image of Lucy appeared in his mind’s eye before he dismissed it. There was no point going there. What he needed to do was to focus on the positive aspects of his life. He loved his job and couldn’t wish for a more fulfilling career, but maybe it was time
to set himself a new challenge. Once Anna was back from maternity leave, he would start applying for a permanent consultant’s post, he decided. It would be a wrench to leave Dalverston, but a change of scene would do him good. He would make a fresh start somewhere else, maybe even think about moving abroad. His skills were in demand all over the world and he wouldn’t have a problem finding a job. He would concentrate on his career and on making sure that the women who came to him delivered healthy babies.