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Authors: E. N. Joy

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BOOK: The Perfect Christian
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Chapter Forty-six
“I knew it! I knew it!” Doreen yelled after she burst into her bedroom to find Willie lying up with some floozy. “Those women thought I had lost my mind when I told the driver taking us to the women's retreat to stop that bus and let me off. They thought I was crazy to want to walk almost ten miles back home. But my spirit was telling me something wasn't right, and my spirit is never wrong—never!”
“Doreen, honey, if you just let me explain.” Willie had his hands up in surrender while the woman next to him gripped the covers, fearing for her life.
“Explain
what?
I might have been a virgin when we got married, but trust me, what you two doing—and in my bed no less—don't need no explanation.” Doreen was fuming. At this moment she had nothing but complete disgust for her husband. She couldn't even look at him, so she didn't. Her eyes landed on the girl next to him. “Shanna! Shanna, is that you? Sister Farmer's baby girl?”
“Ye, ye, yes, ma'am,” Shanna stuttered as fear put tears in her eyes. She had no idea of Doreen's past. Nobody in Malvonia did. So she had no idea of just how much danger she could have been in if Doreen had decided to beat her down like she had the last chick she'd caught with her man.
“You're just a girl. Right out of high school,” Doreen said.
“Ye, yes, ma'am. Just had my eighteenth birthday last week.” Tears fell from Shanna's eyes. “And please, ma'am—please let me live to see my nineteenth. Please don't tell my mama. She'll kill me. She'll kill me dead.”
It was clear that Shanna wasn't the least bit worried about Doreen doing damage to her. It was her mother she was in fear of. Still, seeing the fear in her eyes reminded Doreen of the fear she had seen in Lauren's eyes. She looked at Willie, and for the first time ever, she could even see fear in his eyes. She could tell that it wasn't just fear that she would run off and leave him. He feared that there was about to be another repeat of what happened inside motel room 111. What really worried Doreen at the time was that she was in fear too. She feared that once again she would lose control.
Was God testing her again? Was the devil tempting her? She held her head in confusion. She really didn't know what to do. Should she do what she should have done years ago and just walk away? Walk away from what? Willie? The situation? Both?
If she didn't walk away—if she did what her flesh really wanted to do and wring both Shanna and Willie's necks, she knew the consequences. Could she stand being locked up again away from society? Away from her family? After all, she'd just gone home and visited her family for the first time since she'd been thrown in jail.
“Girl, we were all worried sick about you just jumping up and leaving West Virginia,” Sarina had said when Doreen showed up on her parents' doorstep.
“Speak for yourself,” Doreen's mother had said. “I prayed to God that He'd look after you no matter where you was at; that whatever was going on that was keeping you from us, He'd have His hand on.”
“Good,” Sarina spat, “'cause somebody needs to put they hands on Willie, because we all know
that's
what's been keeping her from us. All she's been doing is chasing that fool and his women around town; same thing she was doing when she was here. Too worried about that fool to even pick up the phone and see about your family. What did we get? A letter once every blue moon. And those letters were the only things that kept us from filing missing persons on your tail.”
Doreen hadn't lashed back at her little sister's comments. She felt it was better not to. Just as long as her family thought those were the reasons for her being gone, they would never know the truth. But would they believe that a second time around? If she laid a hand on this young girl and got locked up again for another year, or even more, what would her family think?
In all honesty, she didn't care what her family thought. Looking at the scared young girl who was just getting a start on life—lying next to a grown man buck naked; not just any grown man, but Doreen's husband . . . Doreen couldn't resist the urge.
Glaring at the girl the entire time, Doreen slowly walked over to the nightstand that sat beside her and Willie's bed. Once there, she gently slid the top drawer open and reached in.
“Oh, God, no,” Shanna began to whimper. “Please God, no.”
“Doreen, honey . . .” Willie held his hands up in surrender. “What you doing over there, Reen?”
With her hand still in the drawer, Doreen stopped and looked at Willie. “What's the matter, Willie? Is this feeling a little like déjà vu? Well, don't worry. This time it will be different. This time I got something for both of you.” And on that note Doreen pulled her hand out of the drawer, which now had something black and hard in it. It was trimmed in silver. And it was about to change everybody's life in that room.
“Thou shall not commit adultery. Thou shall not fornicate. . .” Doreen found every scripture she possibly could in relation to the situation at hand. And for the past hour she'd sat there going over the scriptures with both Shanna and Willie.
Doreen was the only one dressed. When she had ordered Willie and Shanna to sit on each side of her while she opened the black hardback Bible with pages trimmed in silver, they'd tried to get dress first.
“No need to get dressed,” Doreen had told them sternly. “God's already pulled the covers off of you and seen your naked selves. No use trying to cover up now.”
Glad that what Doreen had pulled out of the nightstand drawer was a Bible and not a gun, the two obliged. Strangely enough, after about a half hour, each of them had almost forgotten the circumstances which had led to a mini-Bible Study session.
“You know, they shouldn't be so scared to teach us this stuff in youth church,” Shanna said. “I wish I'd learned all this before—just what it means to present my body to God as a living sacrifice—holy and acceptable.” She looked down in shame. “Now it's too late.”
Doreen was quick to tell Shanna, “Child, it's never too late. It's never too late to repent to God and give yourself to Him. To Him . . .” She looked over at Willie, rolled her eyes, then turned her attention back to Shanna. “. . . not some man who ain't even your husband—who's somebody else's husband.”
“Really?” Shanna asked Doreen, looking a little unsure.
Doreen nodded. “Really. Trust me. I know. Just say a prayer of repentance.”
“That's all?” Still, Shanna looked unsure.
“That's all,” Doreen assured her.
The girl swallowed, lifted her hands, and closed her eyes. Her mouth opened to form the first words of her prayer, but then Doreen stopped her.
“One more thing, though,” Doreen said. “You have to mean it in your heart.”
“Oh, I mean it,” Shanna said, as she assumed the position and began a prayer of repentance to God.
Willie sat as still as a statue on the other side of Doreen while Doreen herself watched the tears flow from Shanna's eyes as she repented to God. She not only repented for the act of fornication and adultery, but for several other things as well. She was so into her words to God that she forgot Doreen and Willie were even in the room. Once she was finished, Doreen shocked herself and everybody else in the room when she threw her arms around the weeping teen and told her that everything was going to be all right—that from this day forward she was renewed in Christ and that God was giving her another chance.
Doreen closed the Bible and stood from the bed. She picked the girl's clothes up off the floor and threw them in her lap. “Get dressed and get home,” Doreen told her.
Shanna didn't have to be told twice as she quickly followed orders and got dressed. Once she was dressed she stood there, making sure Doreen was finished with her.
“You know your way out,” Doreen told her.
Shanna scurried toward the door before Doreen changed her mind and pulled something else up out of that nightstand drawer. Doreen stared down at the floor and didn't look up. But she did hear Shanna's feet stop in her tracks once she made it to the bedroom door. She then heard her say. “I'm sorry, Ms. Doreen. I'm sorry this had to happen. But I'm glad it did.”
Doreen looked up sharply, and Shanna quickly explained herself.
“Because had it not happened, no telling what would have become of my life. So I thank you, Ms. Doreen. Thank you.” She turned to leave again, but as if having another sudden thought, she stopped and turned around again to speak, but Doreen cut her off.
“No, Shanna. No, I'm not going to tell your momma.”
Shanna nodded, half-smiled, and then was gone.
There was silence before Willie spoke. “I don't know what just happened here, Reen, but I feel like a changed man. Just sitting here seeing you—I mean, I know it was nothing . . . it was nobody but God. It had to be God in you doing all that. I mean, 'cuz I've seen what the flesh in you can do.” Willie had slipped on his boxers and now stood. “Baby, I'm so sorry, and I promise . . . I swear on everything breathing I will never cheat on you again. I'm sorry, baby, for real. I'll make it up to you. I'll make everything up to you. Just tell me what to do. What do you want me to do for you, Doreen?”
Doreen looked at her husband knowing that what he was shooting off right now was nothing but talk. Yeah, he'd been moved by what had just taken place the last hour. He wanted to change, but she knew he wouldn't—not really. This move of God would have an affect on him for about a week; two at the most. He'd join her for church a few consecutive Sundays, go down to the altar to get prayer and hands laid on him. But then he'd be back to his old self. Not because God couldn't change him, but because deep down inside he didn't want God to change him. And Doreen could hardly fault Willie for that. She knew firsthand what it felt like to not want change . . . to fear change. Perhaps a fear of change was exactly what was keeping her by Willie's side. Willie was the only man she'd ever been with. Life without Willie would mean a big change for Doreen. She couldn't even envision her life without him. And on top of that, she'd made some poor decisions too, and Willie had stood by her. Heck, perhaps the two were made for each other. At least those were the reasons that would get Doreen through her years with Willie.
Perhaps this wouldn't be the last time she'd catch Willie with another woman, had to pray, pull out the Bible to read scripture, and even get a couple of his mistresses saved. Keeping that pushed in the back of her mind, Doreen knew not to ask of Willie more than he was capable of doing. Otherwise she'd be setting herself up to fail.
“Please, Reen, tell me. What can I do?”
Doreen took a deep breath. She looked down at their bed her husband had just defiled with another woman and said, “You can wash my sheets,” then exited the room.
Chapter Forty-seven
“I should have left him,” Mother Doreen said to herself as her mind returned to the present day. “I would have left him,” Mother Doreen said somberly to Lauren. “Had I known he'd left you back in West Virginia with a child to tend to, I'd left him.” Mother Doreen didn't know if those words were true, if she was just saying them now that Willie was gone and she didn't have a choice but to picture life without him, or if she was just saying it to make Lauren feel better. She was saying them nonetheless. After all, Mother Doreen wasn't the same woman today as she was years ago.
“What decent woman would stay with a man who she knows abandoned his own child?” Mother Doreen continued. “Who she knows isn't taking care of his child? How could she stand to be with him?” Mother Doreen began to rub her arms as if she had the heebie-jeebies. “How could she stand to lie up with somebody, have them buy her food and keep a roof over her head, and he won't even do it for his own helpless child?” Mother Doreen shook her head.
“Not that I'm defending Willie or anything,” Lauren said, “but Willie did take care of his responsibilities with Terrance; moneywise, anyway.” She shrugged and continued. “No, he wasn't there for him in the physical like a boy needs a daddy to be. But every month like clockwork, he sent my mother a check.” Lauren stared off. “‘Willie done sent more money to take care of the boy,' my mother would tell me on her visits. ‘Still no return address,' she'd add.”
“So Willie was sending money for Terrance?” Mother Doreen couldn't believe what she was hearing.
“Yep. When the first envelope of money ever came, my mother said it had a note in it saying he was sorry, but he'd be a man and send money for his child until the day he died.” Lauren sighed. “Well, when the money stopped coming, we knew then Willie had died. I mean, he didn't keep good on all his promises . . . but the one that counted most I guess . . .”
Mother Doreen's mouth dropped open at the epiphany that had just landed on her. “So that's where all the missing money was going. He wasn't gambling. He was sending the money here to West Virginia to take care of his son.”
“Cash too—every time. I guess so there was no way of tracing it,” Lauren said.
“Oh, Willie,” Mother Doreen said, “why didn't you just tell me? Why didn't you just tell me, you old fool?”
“'Cause just like you said, you would have left him. Heck, even I knew that. A thousand times I thought of just finding you and telling you myself. I knew he'd leave you and come back to me.” A sad expression covered Lauren's face. “But at the same time, I knew he'd only be coming back to me because he couldn't be with you anymore. And I . . . well, I didn't want him that way. A part of me did. But it was that feeling of him wanting to be with me, not settling for me, that drove me. That made me feel alive. And so when I didn't feel alive anymore, I just died. I just lay down and died.” Tears flowed from Lauren's eyes and her nose began to run.
Mother Doreen handed her a tissue.
After wiping her nose and a few tears away, Lauren confessed, “Do you know I never even held my baby boy?” The tears came harder, and Lauren's shoulders began to heave up and down. “I couldn't do it. He reminded me of everything that hurt. He reminded me of everything painful. He reminded me of everything bad.” She sniffed, and then calmed down a little. “He felt like an Ishmael in a weird sort of way. Like God was giving me a sign when I lost the first baby with Willie; then I run off and had to have another one. It was all my will and not God's at all. And my poor baby had to suffer for it. My poor baby.”
Once again, Lauren's shoulders began to heave up and down as she cried hard. Mother Doreen went and placed her hand on Lauren's shoulder. After a few seconds, Lauren looked at Mother Doreen's hand, and then placed hers on top of it. Then the two women looked into each other's eyes but never said a word. Their eyes did all the talking for them. This was it. This was the moment each woman had needed in her life in order to be set free.
As painful as it had been to learn the truth for Mother Doreen, it had set her free indeed. She and Lauren apologizing and forgiving each other had, figuratively speaking, loosened the cap on the jar that once held the butterfly. Now the lid had been lifted and the butterfly was free—for Mother Doreen anyway. But she knew for Lauren, there was still a little more untightening of the cap that needed to be done, and just as if God had read her mind, the door cracked open.
“Momma, it's been awhile.” Terrance peeked his head in. “Are you okay?” He walked all the way in. “The doctor is out here, Momma . . . and the nurse. Can we come in?”
Lauren looked at her son and shook her head. “Not yet.”
Terrance nodded and went to close the door.
“Just you,” Lauren stopped him. “Just you come in. Because there's something I need to give you. And then there's something I need from you.” Lauren looked at Mother Doreen, who smiled and nodded, knowing that what Lauren needed to give and get from her son was exactly what Mother Doreen had needed to give and get from Lauren.
“What? What is it, Mother?” Terrance hurried over to his mother's bedside. That was Mother Doreen's cue to give mother and son time alone. She made sure she had all of her belongings, then headed to the door. Before exiting she looked over at the pair, knowing that in just a few moments, the room would be full of beautiful butterflies . . . flying free.
BOOK: The Perfect Christian
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