The Same Side (University Park #2) (21 page)

Raven pulled out of the parking lot and drove to the main road. The ice crunched beneath the pressure of the tires and I could feel the back of the car fishtailing along the way. “Shit, it’s slick.”

“Can you make it to the store?”

He gripped the steering wheel tighter and his skin cracked. “Yeah, I can make it. I just need to drive slowly.” He rolled his shoulders and I could tell he was trying his best to stay calm. “I just don’t want to wreck this car.”

“I understand. If I had a car like this, I’d make sure to take care of it, too.” I internally questioned how he could afford to drive a nice car. To my knowledge, he didn’t have a job and after learning more about his mom, I was certain that she didn’t have the money to buy him a vehicle. I hoped he wasn’t involved in anything illegal. Recalling the wad of money I’d seen him pull from his pockets, it made me wonder.

“Since this car is a lease, I have to take care of it,” Raven openly admitted and it chiseled away some of my concerns.

“Oh, so you’re leasing it?”

“Not exactly. It was given to me to use and it’s paid for monthly,” he turned to look at me, “but you’re not supposed to know that.”

“Who pays for it?” I questioned, eager to know more.

He tapped his finger repeatedly along the steering wheel as he kept his gaze straight ahead. I could sense his reluctance to tell me the secret he hadn’t shared with anyone.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to pry.” I shifted in my seat and readjusted the seat belt. A part of me wished I hadn’t asked, but another part couldn’t help but wonder what the story behind the vehicle was. I averted my attention to the cars that surrounded us, not wanting to press the subject further. Several cars were headed in the same direction we were, crawling along the way. The sky was grey and to the northwest, a row of thick, ominous clouds proved that the storm was far from over. The wind whistled and howled, rocking the car like it was a toy.

“I can trust you, right?” He broke the silence and I quickly turned toward him. He looked at me for a quick second before returning his focus to the road.

“Of course. I’m not going to tell anyone.”

“I won the use of this car in a bet. A bet that was illegal and could get me kicked out of school and off the team for good.”

“Raven,” I gasped, surprised that he would do that. What else was he involved in? Was I placing my life at risk by associating with him? Things had definitely changed since last night and I prayed I hadn’t made a huge mistake.

“I know. I think about it every time I get behind the wheel.” He drove cautiously around the traffic circle, making sure to keep a safe distance from the other cars around us. I was glad that he wasn’t trying to show off. It proved that he truly cared about our safety and the protection of the car he didn’t own.

“So, give it back.” I extended my hand and rested it on his shoulder. I ran my hand up and down his arm in long, slow strides. “It’s okay to tell someone ‘no, thank you’
.
” Something inside me propelled me to give him that bit of advice. To reaffirm that even through peer pressure, we have to stand firm in our beliefs. It made me think twice about what I had done and why I was with him at that very moment. Why was I questioning losing my virginity to him? It was what I wanted to do and I didn’t regret it. Or, so I told myself.

“Yeah, but some things aren’t so easily done.” He parked and turned off the car.

“I know.” I let out a silent sigh. “I get it. I really do.”

He gave me a meek smile and then opened his car door. I got out, unsure of what was going through his mind. Not saying a word, he took me by the hand and we trudged toward the entrance of the store. The wind whipped against us and the ice scraped our faces, showing us no mercy. The store buzzed with people shopping frantically as if the zombie apocalypse was among us. The bread aisle was ransacked and we settled for a nine-grain loaf that looked like it had birdseeds sprinkled all over it.

“So, what do you like to eat?” I pushed the cart as Raven strolled next to me. Despite the chaos around us, we took our time, going from aisle to aisle. I could tell he was still processing what I had said so I gave him some space, allowing him to sort through it.

“I’m not picky,” he said, grabbing a few boxes of macaroni. “What about you?”

“I’m easy.”

Raven laughed and pressed a hand to his stomach. “No, you’re really not, Lexi.”

I frowned, realizing I had used the wrong words — again. “Okay, I get it.” I slugged him on the arm and he stumbled to the side, feigning hurt.

“Please don’t beat me up.” He clutched his arm like a broken wing, twisting his face in fake agony.

I pressed my lips together before saying, “And please don’t disappoint me.” My voice was full and thick with undisclosed meaning that I hoped he understood without me telling him.

His playful look turned serious and I immediately pushed the cart forward, leaving him behind in the process. I wasn’t good at confrontations and I wasn’t sure why I brought up the subject in the grocery store of all places, especially after what I had just told him. Doubt clouded my mind and I felt the onslaught of tears. I swallowed the huge lump forming at the back of my throat and shoved my nose into the beef section of the meat cooler.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Raven placed his hands on my shoulders and leaned forward, trying to get my attention.

I kept my focus on the packages, shuffling through the various selections. “I like spaghetti.” A tear escaped and I quickly wiped it away. “I can make spaghetti for dinner.”

Raven took the meat from my hand and turned me to face him. “Lexi, tell me what’s wrong? Why did you say that?”

Not wanting to answer him, I quickly shuffled to the other end of the cooler where the chicken was located. I scanned through the wrapped offerings and picked up a package. “We can make grilled chicken one night.” I tossed the chicken breasts in the basket.

“Lexi.” Raven’s voice deepened and it stopped me in my tracks. I had never heard him speak in this tone. I sighed, knowing I owed him an explanation before things got ugly.

I turned and faced him, wrapping my arms around my middle for support. A few people stared at me as the tears dribbled from my lower lashes, but I didn’t care. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Raven cast a few of the nosey people a dirty look and then took my hand and led me away from the open area to an aisle. “But that doesn’t answer my question.” He pulled me into his arms and his caress eased the fear and worry that had been building up inside of me.

“I guess I just started questioning whether I really know you. It scares me, that’s all.” With the pads of his thumb, he wiped my tears. His eyes softened and I could see his desire to make everything safe for me.

“Lexi, when I told you that I’d never hurt you, I meant it. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, but you might not like what you hear.” His voice lowered and he leaned in closer. “I have done some bad things that I’m anxious to leave behind. Like I told you, being with you makes me want to do everything right. Makes me want to prove that I’m worthy of a girl like you.”

“Oh, Raven. I’m not that special.” My heart sunk and I felt so wrong for doubting him.

“Yes, you are. And I think you might be able to help me. That is, if you want to.”

He was beyond incredible. I just had to remember what he had already told me about his past and how he grew up. Raven deserved to make things right in his life and I wanted to help him do that, no matter what it took.

“Of course I want to. I’ll go anywhere for you,
do
anything for you. As long as I can be with you.”

“Good, because that’s all I want.” His lips turned upward in a full smile. He wiped my remaining tears and kissed both cheeks.

I took in a deep breath and sighed. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. He was a piece of me now, a piece that I knew I had to help fix. “We’re going to rewrite your story. It might be painful and hard, but if you allow me to help you, I know we can do it.”

“You’re the only one I want to help me.” Raven reached behind me and pulled something off the shelf. “And, we’re going to need a lot of these if we’re going to be staying with each other for the next few days.”

I looked at the boxes of condoms he threw in the basket and laughed.

“Yeah, I think that’s a must have.”

***

It took us longer to get home because the ice was accumulating quickly. The roads were congested. It seemed that everyone had the same idea we had. Get to the store, stock up, and get home before nightfall. Raven bought enough food to last a week or maybe longer, and I felt bad because he wouldn’t allow me to help him pay for it. Even though I didn’t have much money left in my savings, I still felt like I should contribute. Though, he did allow me to pay for the movies we rented at my insistence.

I was glad that I had made the decision to stay with him. Even if it meant taking the risk that my parents would lock me up forever once I got home. I had sent my mom a text that the storm had already hit Fort Worth and I’d be home as soon as the roads were safe. She didn’t like the fact that I had hung up on her and refused to answer my phone. She continued to question whether I was with a guy and I continued to ignore her pestering question.

After we got home, we watched a movie and managed to finish it with our clothes still intact. Being next to Raven was so tempting, but I knew I had to control my urges. My body was silently screaming for him while also begging me to take it easy since I had just engaged in sex for the first time the night before. Raven had something that my body wanted, over and over again.

As I took the carton of milk from the refrigerator, I got a whiff of the food cooking. “Wow. That smells wonderful.” Raven stood over the stove, stirring a big pan of Jambalaya. The smell of creole seasoning and shrimp swirled around me, making my mouth water.

“Thanks. It’s my grandma’s recipe. It’s been a family favorite for years.” He took a small spoon from the kitchen drawer and lowered it into the pot. Retrieving a spoon full of food, he blew on it and tasted it. Then he brought it to my mouth. “Taste it and tell me what you think.”

I smiled internally. It felt good to know that he didn’t mind sharing his food with me. Cautiously, I tasted the Cajun paella, making sure not to burn my tongue. The seasonings exploded in my mouth, dousing my tongue with fire and a bit of sweetness. “Oh my gosh. That’s delicious, Raven.”

His lips spread into a huge grin and by the sparkle in his eyes, I knew he was proud of his accomplishment. “Thank you. It’s been a while since I’ve made this. I wasn’t sure if I’d remember how.”

“It tastes fabulous.” I added the milk to the cornbread batter and mixed it. “Did your mom teach you or your grandma?”

“Both.” Raven placed a lid on the pot and wiped his hands on dishtowel. “I really enjoy cooking so I slip into the kitchen every chance I get.” He leaned against the counter, keeping a watchful eye on me as I poured the batter in a pan. It made me a little nervous and I hoped I was doing everything right. Since I wasn’t a pro in the kitchen, I questioned everything I did several times. I guess a tiny part of me wanted to impress him even though I didn’t have much to offer.

“That’s great. I wish I would’ve taken the time to learn some of my grandma’s recipes before she passed, but I was only in middle school. To be honest with you, I really don’t cook much.” I tried not to think about the conversation I had with my mom a few months prior. She promised to give me a crash course in cooking before Collin and I got married. Now that things had changed, would she still be willing to teach me?

“That’s okay. I don’t mind cooking.” Raven opened the oven door and I placed the pan on the rack. He closed the door and I set the timer.

“As long as you’re okay with it.” He handed me the dishtowel and I wiped the batter from my fingers.

“Yeah, sure.” I looked at my side of the counter noting the mess I had made versus Raven’s nearly spotless work area. “You can cook and I can clean.”

“Deal.” Raven took a step closer to me, backing me up against the counter. The small kitchen narrowed around us as he rested one hand behind me and slipped the dishtowel from my grip. My knees weakened and I waited anxiously for his next move. I liked the feeling of being trapped between his arms. It was thrilling and nerve wracking at the same time. “Because you kind of make a mess when you cook.” He dotted the tip of my nose and showed me the flour he had removed.

“Sorry.” My body stiffened. Did I have more batter on me? The urgent need to flee to the bathroom to check myself took hold of me, but he had me barricaded. His scent engulfed me and my stomach unfurled. Raven smelled so damn good, I wanted to rub against him and carry his scent with me all day long.

“You look kind of cute, actually.” He smiled as he rubbed my cheek a few times and then my forehead.

“Do I really have that much batter on me?” I tried to see my reflection on the microwave, but he moved his head along with mine, preventing me from catching a glimpse. “Raven, I’m trying to see.” My hands gripped his arms and I tried to push him to the side but he continued to follow my movements.

“What’s wrong? You don’t like to get dirty?” His voice lowered and his eyes turned dark. Maybe being messy wasn’t so bad after all. As long as I could get dirty with him.

“If you put it that way, the answer is yes.”

“Good, because you have some right there.” He pointed to my neck and I became more self-conscious.

“Where?” I rubbed the spot his finger touched but didn’t feel any food.

“Right here.” He lowered his lips to my neck and kissed the spot right below my ear, brushing his tongue along the sensitive area that awoke every nerve within my body.

A whimper escaped my lips and my head relaxed against the kitchen cabinet. “Are you sure?” I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer. Even through our thick sweaters, I could feel his chest move in the same rhythm as mine, the erratic pounding of our hearts synchronized.

“Yes.” His mouth worked downward and I felt instantly pinned with his incessant need for me. “And right here.” He kissed the hollow of my throat and my lips trembled. With the tip of his tongue, he traced the curve of my neck until his lips met mine. Our lips locked and our tongues thrashed against each other. He cupped my jaw and his other hand dove into my hair. My hands rested on his chest and I gathered a fistful of his shirt in each hand, eager to rip it off his body. Everything seemed to fade away as my mind focused in on my target.