The Seer (Tellaran Series) (10 page)

“No,” he said quietly. “Back to our suite.”

Determination pulsed from him. Anxiety rustled too and an undercurrent of something she couldn’t quite catch. She quickly went over the evening in her mind. It hadn’t been easy and it hadn’t always been fun but she thought she’d managed well enough tonight.

“What’s wrong?” she asked as soon as the door of their suite slid shut behind him. “Was it the way I acted at dinner?”

“No, dinner was fine,” he said shortly. “But there’s something else we need to deal with, Arissa. And I don’t think this can wait any longer.”

“Oh,” she said, confused by his rapidly shifting emotions. “What is it?”

"You get rattled whenever I touch you, whenever I get near you. The tension is distracting, it’s obvious, and it's a problem. We need to look comfortable with each other. We have to look like husband and wife.” Jolar gave her a nod. “So we're going to take care of this and fuck right now."

Nine

"What?' she breathed.

Jolar’s hot anticipation tingled around her.
"Rule number one, Arissa, remember? What I say, when I say. Come on, now’s the time to let your Ornament skills shine.”

Her glance darted over him. She remembered the feel of his arms around her today, how desperately she wished he would kiss her, how much she had wanted to kiss
him.

“You want to—?”

“Fuck,” he said impatiently, already unfastening the collar of his shirt. “You know, join. Bedding. Sex.”

She knew.

Gods knew she wanted to.

She just had no idea
how
.

“Okay.” She swallowed, her heart thumping. “Um, what do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know.” His confusion and aggravation crackled. “Why don’t you start by kissing me?”

She wet her lips and took a step closer to put her hands on his broad shoulders. The heat of his body radiated under her palms and through the fabric of her dress as his hands came to rest on her waist. Shyly she leaned forward into his warmth, into his wonderful scent and lifted her face. She touched her lips to his. They were soft and parted, as his breathing quickened, the hot waves of his desire curling around her. She closed her eyes, her mouth against his, and stayed there a moment before drawing back. 

His frustration rustled, suspicion that she was toying with him like little spikes within it. "No,
really
kiss me."

She had certainly seen kisses done, in holos, seen couples entwined in Xan-Tellar. She’d read about them. She tried again and tilted her head more, pressing her mouth against his more firmly, parting her lips a little. She stayed longer this time, hoping he’d take the lead.

He scowled when she drew back. "What are you doing?"

"I’m trying.”

“
Trying?
Damn it, you've done this before, haven't you?" he demanded.

Arissa shook her head.

“What?” His head snapped back. “Hold on. No, wait, you said—In Xan-Tellar you agreed to let me—You took the money! You
aren't
an Ornament?"

"N—no."

His shock reverberated as he stared at her. "What the hell were you going to do if I’d decided to collect that night? Just wing it?"

"Well, you've done all this before," she burst out. "I figured you would—would just
do
it."

"All this? You mean you’ve never—” He searched her face and blanched. “Nothing?" he asked hoarsely. "Not even
kissed?
"

Her throat tightened. She shook her head again.

“I never thought—” He let go and took a quick step back, looking badly shaken. “Arissa, I’m sorry. I can’t believe the way I just—” His eyes closed briefly, shame staining his sense. “Look, you don’t have to worry about anything—worry about me. I promise I won’t do anything like that again. And we’ll just . . . we’ll work around this some another way."

Her lower lip trembled. "You don't want to now?"

"That doesn't—” He ran his hand through his hair. “Gods, do
you?
"

"Yes. I mean—” Her face went hot and she stumbled over her words under his shocked gaze. “I know I'm not pretty and no one's ever—It's just I might not get another chance and you—Yes, I want to."

“Is that what you think?” He cupped her chin gently, tilting her face to look at her, his thumb lightly tracing the skin of her cheek.

"You’re hauntingly beautiful, Arissa," he said softly. He let her go, his regret deep and heavy. “And you need to wait ‘til the time is right for you. I promise there will be plenty of chances and many men who will want you.”

She gathered her courage. "Do
you?
Do you want me, Jolar?"

The heat in his eyes echoed his hot rush of hunger. "Yes, of course I do.”

"Then I don't want to wait.” She wet her lips. “I want it to be you first. Tonight."

His desire tingled around her. "Are you sure?”

She nodded. “Will—will you?”

“Yes,” he said huskily.

Her brow creased. "You're nervous now. You weren’t nervous before."

He gave a short, shaky laugh. "Gods, I keep forgetting you can do that. Yes, I'm nervous. And even more now that you know I am."

"But why?"

He brushed a curl away from her temple, his fingers gently touching her cheek. "Because this is important. Because I want everything to be perfect for you."

"I don't need it to be perfect. I just—I want the first time to be with you. You—you know the truth about me and you aren’t afraid anymore.”

His blue eyes were raw.

She gave a quick smile. "I'm nervous too." She wet her lips again. "Will it hurt?"

"It, um—" He cleared his throat. "I'll go real slow. Okay?"

"Okay."

"So," Arissa said after a long moment. "What do you want me to do?"

“Well, I think—I'm going to kiss you, all right?”

He lightly cupped her face in his hands and brought his mouth her hers, his lips soft and very gentle. He stayed like that for a moment, then he pressed forward just a little more, his tongue lightly touching, parting her lips a little, flicking the tiniest bit. Arissa clung to him, the currents of his arousal, his nervousness, his hunger moving around her.

He drew away a little to look into her eyes. “Was that all right?”

The question didn’t even make sense. His kiss was likely the most amazing thing she had ever felt. Her mouth was tingling from it. She couldn’t even form words to describe it.

He was still looking down at her questioningly. Mutely, she nodded.

“Do you want to keep going?”

She nodded again and looked at his mouth as he leaned closer, tilting her face up to meet him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and this time she let her lips part easily when he deepened the kiss. She clung to him as he explored, his arms going around her to draw her close.

He never stopped kissing her, her face, her eyelids, his touch gentle as he drew her into the bedroom. He carefully took the clips from her hair, threaded his fingers through her curls, his heart hammering under her hand when she put her palm to his chest.

He coaxed the straps of her dress over her shoulders. The shimmersilk dress, heavy with beading, slid quickly to the floor. She tensed, using her arms to cover her breasts.

He sat down on the bed and she realized he was concerned his height might be intimidating. He looked up at her, his fingers lightly tracing her sides, waiting.

She knew if she drew back, turned away, reached for her dress, he would let her go without a word of rebuke or disappointment. This was her choice.

Shaking, she lowered her arms.

He held her gaze for a moment then lowered his eyes to look at her.

“They’re usually bigger,” she blurted. “I mean, they were before I left home but I’m so skinny now—
oh!
”

She broke off as his mouth covered the peak of her breast.

The moist heat of it tightened her center, her own heat thrumming now through her. He drew the nipple into his mouth with gentle suction, his tongue moving over the peak.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmured, his lips tracing across her chest to the other breast. He took longer with this one, nuzzling a bit before his mouth touched her nipple with tantalizing possessiveness.

He held her by the waist again, and her palms pressed down on his shoulders, her knees so weak now that he was helping her stay upright.

When he drew back his eyes were big with desire. He held her gaze as his fingers found the edges of her underwear and slowly slid them down.

She was bare before him now and his eyes softened as they went to the dark hair between her legs. His hands rested on her hips for a moment then slid his palms over her hipbones, touching the dark hair with the pads of his thumbs. His thumb touched the very apex between her legs, his stroke sending jolts of pleasure through her.

She felt tight, tingly there now, looking down at him with wide eyes and something in her expression made his mouth take on a tender curve.

He reached for the fastenings of his shirt. “Do you want to do it or do you want me to?”

By way of answering she reached for the closures. It wasn’t easy to undo them with her fingers shaking so but after a time she managed. She pushed at the shirt and he shrugged it away to let it fall to the floor. He got his boots off and stood to bring her hand to waist of his trousers.

“Me or you?”

Her heart was hammering in her chest. The pants were harder to undo, maybe because she could see the curve of his arousal there. In the end he had to help her.

He was in his undershorts now and cupped her face to press another kiss to her mouth. He deepened the kiss as he urged her back onto the bed and the warmth of his body covered hers as he lay her down on its soft surface.

Her hands ran down the smooth skin of his muscled back to his hips. He drew away, poised over her, waiting. She urged the shorts down and nipped her lip when the soft material caught on his hardness. She freed him from the fabric, the heat of his shaft startling against her fingers. With the shorts off, he shifted to lie beside her.

His mouth quirked up a bit. “You can look.”

Arissa lowered her gaze to see him hard and ready, the curve of his maleness jutting out, the darker blond hair, the softness below.

She reached for him shyly but stopped, unsure, and looked to find his gaze hot.

“It’s okay.” Jolar took her hand and brought it to him, his hand over hers as she wrapped her fingers around his hardness. His skin was velvety soft and as she ran her hand down his shaft, his breath caught, his eyes fell shut and the tingles of his arousal surrounded her. His lips parted, and he showed her how to stroke him, his hand closing over hers to squeeze.

His breath was coming faster, and he moved his hips under her touch until his hold suddenly tightened on her hand.

“Better stop now,” he said with a shaky laugh. “Or this will be over before it starts.”

He drew her hand away and with a wild thrill she saw he was trembling a little. He turned so he was against her side.

His hand slid over her hipbone to her lower belly, resting just above the thatch of dark hair there. “I want to touch you too. Tell me what you like.”

“I don’t know,” she managed.

“What do you like when you touch yourself?” Her face went hot and he gave a soft laugh at her stunned mortification. “It’s okay, everyone does it.”

“Do you?” she demanded, embarrassment giving her voice an edge.

“Yes.”

She caught it then, how much knowing she sought her own pleasure aroused him.

“Tell me what you like,” he said, his voice huskier now, his hand slid lower resting now at her center. “I have an idea.” He gave a soft, breathless laugh. “I know exactly how I want you to tell me.”

His fingers slid against her, tracing the lips there then lightly touching her where she was most sensitive and her mouth parted. He drew little circles over the spot and her breath caught at the tightening pleasure of it.

He drew back a little to watch her again, his fingers moving rhythmically. “Like it?” he murmured.

“Gods, yes!” she gasped. 

He pressed closer, his hardness hot against her hip, arching his body over hers, his breathing coming faster. She moved against his touch, her eyes opened to meet his, her lip caught between her teeth as the tightness grew.

His glance ran over her face, his pupils large and he gave a quick, almost feral smile before he brought his mouth to hers again. His tongue darted in and out between her lips, a taste of what he wanted next.

He slid a finger insider her, then two, his thumb moving against her and groaned.              

“You’re so wet.” Jolar’s eyes were nearly glowing as he searched her face. “Do you want this? Do you want me inside you?”

“Yes!”

He moved between her legs then, his big warm body covering hers as he positioned the tip of his shaft at her center.