The Third Wife (6 page)

"I think I want to go inside now."
Fuck, she sounded like a hurt little girl.

"Alana." I tried to stop her getting out of the car.

"Cody please, I just need to be alone right
now. We talked about this already right it's not like I didn't know this was
coming. I guess I'll see you in the morning then." She climbed out of the
car and ran into the house. I sat there for a while longer feeling like shit
and contemplating my next move. When I had my emotions back under control I
walked into the house. They were both waiting for me and for some reason that
pissed me the fuck off. I caught the gleam in Sharon's eyes and knew that she
must've witnessed Wildflowers' discomfort.

"Something amuses you Sharon?"

"Oh no, we were just wondering which of us you were taking to
your bed tonight?" So confident aren't you? I grabbed Arlene's hand and
headed for her room. Because I had gone with Alana I had said good night to my
children before we left so I didn't have that as an excuse to buy more time. As
I closed her door behind us my duty felt like a noose around my neck for the
first time. I felt cold at the thought of touching her, not because I found her
repulsive or even the act. I'm no hypocrite, this is my life the only one I
know; the only one I would have if given a choice. But I felt the pain for her,
for what this night was doing to her.

When Arlene laid her head on my chest I closed my eyes and begged
for the answers, even as my arms went around her pulling her close.

Alana

Breathe Alana,
fucking breathe. My whole body was shaking like a leaf. I wasn't even angry.
Anger isn't exactly what I’d call what I was feeling. I had no name for this
new emotion whatever it was. I had spoken to mom earlier in the day and she’d
given me one piece of advice that I was going to hold onto. I grabbed the half
bottle of merlot I had filched from downstairs, changed into my boy shorts and
a tank and cranked up my iPod. "Yellow diamonds in the light and we're
standing side by side.”

“Yeah that's my shit right there."

"We found love in a hopeless place, we
found love in a hopeless place." I sang and cried and danced myself into
exhaustion. When I looked at the clock again it was four in the morning. Good
whatever was happening should be over by now; unless he was the same with her
as he was with me. Fuck, just let me go to sleep. Sleep would take me away from
this pain. I was proud that I had foregone the wine. I'd be damned if I let
this shit turn me into an alcoholic. Mom was right though, when I focused only
on my feelings I was able to deal to a certain extent. This was my fucking life
now. No one ever said I would be perfect, but fuck this shit hurt.

 
He opened
my door at eight in the morning. I threw the wine bottle at his head. "Get
the fuck out."

Cody

"Alana what the hell do you think you're
doing?"

"This is my room I don't want you here, I'm
not ready to look at your fucking face right now." She ran into the
bathroom and slammed the door. That's it. I didn't think of my actions, I just
kicked the door in. "Don't you ever close a door against me again. Now
come out here and talk to me." I can't believe she actually threw that
bottle at my head, lucky for me I have great reflexes. She set her face
mutinously so I knew I had a fight on my hands. I'd left Arlene's bed as soon
as was decently possible. She had no reason to complain about my performance of
the night before so there was no reason for her to suspect the hell I went
through, I hoped this got better soon. I hated feeling like this, like I’d done
something wrong.

I'd gone to my room
and showered before coming to her. I needed to see her to make sure she was
okay, I guess not. "You swore to me that you could do this." I pulled
her back into the bedroom and over to her sitting room. There was no way I
could leave for work with things like this. Fuck her whole body was shaking and
there were tear tracks on her face. I’d done that I’d put that look in her
eyes. Why did this have to be so hard? Wasn’t love supposed to be easy? “Alana
you said you understood, that you could do this with me.” It didn’t matter
because I was never letting her go now no matter what.
if
that makes me a selfish bastard then so be it. She’s mine she’s always been
mine and mine she’ll stay.

"I can I am,
just in my own way. I hate your fucking guts right now so I don't want to look
at you. That's the truth of my feelings. Or would you rather I pretend that
it's okay that you fucked her?" She took a swing at me as fresh tears
fell. She fucking gutted me with her tears.

I pulled her into my lap. "Stop it, I don't
want you to pretend anything, you just can't react this way every time I have
to be with one of my other wives."

"Who said I was gonna do it every time? I'm
doing it now because it's how I feel now."

"You hate me?"

"Yes I fucking hate you?" Did she
realize that she was screaming and crying and vowing her hatred for me while
she clutched me like a drowning man on driftwood? Her tears were destroying
what little control I had left. I had to make a swift decision. There was no
way I could leave her feeling like this all day while I went on about my day.

I slipped my shoes
off and struggled out of my jacket. The office could do without me for a day. I
lead her over to the bed and laid with her over the covers while she cried out
her rage. Sometimes she pounded my chest, other times she clung to me. I let
her get it all out. Just held her and rocked her like I did the little ones
when they were hurt. There was nothing I could do to ease her pain short of
changing who I am and that wasn't an option.

"I'm not
letting you go ever wildflower. I can't, I wish I was strong enough to give you
your freedom but I'm not. You're mine you're all mine. I can't deny them any
more than I can deny you. This does not mean I love you any less, I thought you
understood that." I held her as close as possible while her tears eased
and her little body stopped shaking.

"Theory and
practice are two different things asshole. It's one thing to think about
something happening and quite another to know that it did." She glared at
me after throwing some more choice words at my head. At least she’d stopped
looking at me like I’d punched her or something.

"Stop swearing
at me. I will make concessions for your youth and the fact that this is new,
but don't push me too far Alana. You knew all these things you were prepared
for them. I gave you the choice and you chose me and our way of life, there's
no going back now." I pulled her closer still and there was a little
wrestling match while she tried evading me before I over powered her and kept
her in my arms
..
I rubbed her back until she quieted
down.

Alana

He just didn't get
it. This was my way of getting the anger and darkness out. Of course I knew he
was eventually going to have to sleep with one of his skanks. But where was it
written that just because I had to accept something that meant I had to like
it? Whoever liked this shit? Okay that's not fair I'm sure they were some who
had no problem with it, but I wasn't one of them. I was here because what I
felt for him was too strong to walk away from.

"Did you fuck her?" I seriously wanted
to make him bleed in that moment.

"Alana stop it, I'm not discussing that with you."

"Of course you did, you're a pig." I
tried to bean his ass again. Then before I knew it I was kissing him and biting
and scratching and kicking. I lost my fucking shit. Then that crying shit
started again. I didn’t miss the way he held me and tried to soothe me. That
went a long way to appeasing some of my anger. If he’d acted like this was his
right I would probably have found a way to maim his ass. I knew it was the way
my life was going to be from now on. But fuck this is hard.

Needless to say we
spent the day with my drama. He never left my side that whole time. He held me
while I cried, wiped my tears as they fell and kissed me when I needed it. Okay
one crisis over! Hey, that wasn't so bad. I thought for sure there would be
bloodshed, preferably the skank's but whatever.

Now that my meltdown
was over I felt guilty. What the fuck! Why should I feel guilty? Because you
probably made him feel like shit for doing what he's supposed to. Mom was right
about this shit too, she knew I would lose it. According to her any woman
would, let alone an eighteen-year old innocent like myself.

"I love you my
Alana, no matter what, you believe me?" I nodded against his chest. I
wasn't one hundred percent there yet but I would work on it. I know one thing,
if whichever one of them he fucked smirked at me I’m gonna knock the bitch's
teeth clean out her fucking head. I liked that he sought only to comfort me and
didn't try to jump me, but uh, would it be really bad if I admitted that I was
horny as fuck?

Cody

I felt the moment
the air changed, when a new kind of tension entered her slight frame, and that
look in her eyes went from sadness to heat. She needed me, needed the
connection to reinforce her security, her place in my life in my heart. She
needed me to prove that I loved her.

When her lips met
mine I didn't resist, I opened for her as I drew her body over mine. She was
ravenous, almost desperate in her need. I tried calming her by running my hands
gently up and down her back, but she paid no heed to my tenderness. It wasn't
tenderness she sought. She fought with the buttons on my shirt, sending a few
of them flying across the room in her haste. She bit my bared chest, marking me
and I hissed at the slight pleasure pain. She licked the abused area, kissing
it better, before raining kisses down my chest to where my pants were buckled.

Her hands were sure
and steady when she released me from the confines of my pants and into her
mouth. So good, but no, this was about her not me. "No little love let me
love you." I pulled her away, turning her onto her back so that I could
pay homage to her the way I knew she needed. I kissed the place where her heart
laid while holding her breast captive in the palm of my hand.

"I love you my
Alana. Wildflower." I kissed her with all the love and devotion I felt
inside for her, softly, sweetly and deeply. She clutched at me trying to draw
me into her body, not giving me a chance to play with her body as I longed to.
I understood her hunger, her need to own me once more. In understanding I
entered her slowly while gazing lovingly into her weeping eyes.

I caught both her
hands in mine, moving them above her head on the bed, our bodies gliding
together. Her legs opening that much wider to accept me as I pulled almost all
the way out of her warmth, stroking back in to the hilt. Her eyes were soon
glazed over, her breathing hitched and I felt her clench around me. I placed a
soft kiss where her jaw met her ear and tasted the tears that had escaped her
eyes.

"Oh fuck baby don't do that." She’s
killing me.

"No, no, it's okay, I'm okay it's
beautiful." Now she was the one soothing me, offering comfort. Could I
trust that they were tears of joy? Whatever they were I would make this up to
her. As much as I could I will ease her hurt. When I came it was a renewal.
Seems I needed to reinforce that bond as well.

We had endured her
first sharing experience. In all honesty it could've gone much worst. I
could've lost her. "I will make you happy my wildflower, just give me the
chance and I will, I promise. Just do me this one favor please. For the next
little while until you settle in, please just concentrate on you and I, on what
we are to each other. Focus only on what I do when I'm with you, how I am with
you, no one else, nothing else. Can you do that for me?" She looked up at
me, our bodies still connected, my softening flesh refusing to leave her.

“I'll try."

"Thank you, that's all I ask." I
kissed her softly once more as I moved to lie beside her. Drawing her into my
arms. We were fine we'll be okay. I’ll make sure of it.

Alana

Wow, that's all I
can say, is wow. I totally lost my shit this morning. I had no idea I was gonna
react that way. I mean I knew it would bother the hell out of me, but I was
sure I could keep my shit together. After I'd fallen asleep believe it or not
my dreams had been peaceful. It was just seeing him looking so normal, like he
hadn't torn my fucking heart to shreds that drove me mad.

We're okay now
though, he saw to that. I don't feel so desperately alone anymore, that gnawing
pain in my heart had lessened. It's already three in the afternoon, we've been
shut away in my room all this time just fucking or talking. I know he would
have to emerge eventually after all he had a family outside those doors. I
hated the thought of leaving our little haven having to face the sneers and
snippy remarks but...I love my husband. I really
really
love this man and I'm not willing to give him up. I will take all that he has
to give and if I have to share him then I will make every moment that is mine
count.

Those bitches better
not even think about infringing on my shit. "We should probably go see
what's going on out there." Let's not give the wicked witches of
Eastwick
any more plotting time. Who knows what they were
plotting since he had been sequestered with me all day? Even skipping work.

We'd just showered
together, where he'd taken me from behind while the water pounded down on us,
hmm. It seemed we couldn't get enough of each other. And the way he’d loved me
all day I knew my man still wanted it. I think maybe that had been one of my
fears the night before. What if things changed between him and I? I guess
that’s the way they feel about the whole situation too. But the thing is
they’ve had years to get used to this shit, it’s all new to me. Oh well, shit’s
gonna be what it’s gonna be.

Whichever one of those skanks he'd fucked the
night before I'm sure I had wiped that shit out of his mind though. I'm not
bitter or anything. He playfully pulled at my towel and I laughingly evaded his
roaming hands. He was insatiable.

 
"Quit it, haven't you had enough?"
See, the man is all over my shit.

"What! You're complaining?"

"No, I just thought you might want to go down there and hang
with the others." See I could be a big girl, now that I had drained his
ass.

"You're ready for that love?" He had
such a look of worry on his face. Had I really looked that messed up earlier?
He’s looking at me as if he expects me to crack any minute. Shit you better get
your shit together girl. I put on my widest smile to ease his fears.

"As I'll ever
be I guess. I'm gonna have to do it some time you know, see you in your
element. Might as well do it now, get it all over with. Just in case I lose my
shit again." I said it jokingly but we both knew it was a possibility. He
cornered me, pulling me into his arms and kissing me, one of his heart melting
kisses that makes my toes curl.

"You won't, I won't let you. Just remember
that I love you no matter what, nothing and no one can ever change that."

"But you love them too." Oh painful, just saying that
shit hurt. Fuck. He took a long time in answering. "I love you more."
He said while looking into my eyes. I know he wasn't supposed to tell me that,
I also knew why he did. I appreciated it, more than words can say. He kissed
me, our towels dropped. Oh well. "One more wildflower."

"One more."