The Wonder of Your Love (A Land of Canaan Novel) (33 page)

She stayed on the floor for the next hour, her legs extended in front of her, the letter in her lap. In a daze, she tried to sort out feelings that had nothing to do with Eli, yet it was his face that kept flashing into her mind.

What would she have done if Ivan hadn’t died? Would she have received this letter months ago and reunited with him? Would she be living in this house now? A house he’d built for her—behind Lucy’s back.

She thought about Lucy and Benjamin. Would Ivan still have left Lucy once he found out that Lucy was carrying his child? Did Ivan suddenly long for a family and either woman would do?

Then it hit her. Ivan was doing to Lucy the same thing that he’d done to her. He might be a man full of surprises, but this house wasn’t just a surprise for Katie Ann—it represented betrayal. Again. This time he would slither away from Lucy, just as he’d done to Katie Ann, leaving her without any money or future to look forward to. He might not have taken money for himself, but he’d certainly left her in a bad financial way. Just as he had planned to do to Lucy. He was a selfish man, but Katie Ann still wondered whether or not her love for him would have been enough to open her heart to him again.

After only a short while, she decided not. She stood up, took a final look around, and knew exactly what she was going to do.

She asked the driver to take her back to Robert’s office. He was busy with someone else when she arrived, but after about thirty minutes, she was escorted back to his office. She didn’t sit down.

“I would like to pay off the mortgage on the house.” She raised her chin, determined not to cry.

“Really?” Robert scratched his chin. “So you’re planning to move back to Lancaster County?”

She fumbled with Ivan’s letter in the pocket of her apron. “No. I would like the house deeded to Lucy.”

Robert stood up and walked around his desk. “Katie Ann, are you sure?” He paused, brows narrowed.

“Lucy has a baby now. Ivan’s child. And Ivan probably would have left her and the child the same way he left me.”

“You’re being very generous.”

Katie Ann didn’t feel generous. In addition to wanting to do the right thing on Ivan’s behalf—since Ivan had earned all the money for the house while with Lucy—she was hoping to never hear from the woman again, to finally have closure on all this.

But then she recalled the way Lucy was at Ivan’s funeral months ago and the way she was when she came to Katie Ann’s house, still stricken with grief.

“He built the house with money he made while he was with Lucy. It only seems fair that she should have it.”

“It doesn’t seem fair—to you.” Robert folded his arms across his chest. “There’s a considerable amount of money owed on that mortgage. I’m not sure why you would do this, but all right.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll let Lucy know what you’ve done, and—”

“No. Please don’t.”

Robert locked eyes with her. “Don’t you think it’s odd that Ivan would build a house without any electrical outlets or fixtures?” He rubbed his chin. “Everything is fueled with gas or propane too.” Robert paused again, the hint of a smile in his expression. “Certainly resembles a lot of Amish homes I’ve seen. And Ivan wasn’t Amish anymore.”

Katie Ann pulled her eyes from his and shrugged. “Do you think you can make arrangements to have the electricity hooked up before you make mention of this to Lucy? I don’t want her to have any doubt in her mind that Ivan built the house for her.”

There was no reason for Lucy ever to know the betrayal that Ivan had planned for her. And as for Katie Ann, she just wanted to go home. To Colorado. Her life here was behind her. Now she just wondered what God had in store for her future. But one thing was for certain. There was no room in her heart for more heartbreak.

As she walked out of Robert’s building toward the driver’s car, she wadded up Ivan’s letter and tossed it into a nearby trash can.

Good-bye, Ivan
.

Now she just needed to say good-bye to Eli.

Eighteen

E
LI SAT DOWN AT THE KITCHEN TABLE WITH THE
package that had arrived in the mail. He stared at it, knowing what it was, but not wanting to admit that his friendship with Katie Ann was over.

Finally he forced himself to open the box and unwrap the cell phone. She hadn’t been back in Colorado for twenty-four hours when she called to tell him that she was sending the phone back. Eli wasn’t sure what happened in Lancaster County. Maybe she was still grieving for her husband, and being back there made her feel like she was betraying Ivan by being friends with Eli.

But who were they fooling? Katie Ann knew that they were much more than friends, just as Eli did. He had tried to talk her out of sending the phone back, but she was insistent that it was a luxury she shouldn’t have. When he asked to visit her, she declined.

Over the next few weeks, he left several messages on the barn phone. She never called him back. He stayed busy planting the fields, but as the seasons began to change, Eli’s feelings began to change too. His hurt turned to resentment. Before Katie Ann, he’d been a happy fellow with his entire life planned out. Now he was lonely and bitter. He didn’t even want to travel anymore. He missed her so much he could hardly stand it.

It was the first of April when all his daughters once again came to see him. He was out on the plow when he saw their buggies pulling in. He was tempted to stay right where he was, but his strong-willed daughters would only wait him out.

As he walked across the fields, he pulled off his hat and wiped sweat from his brow. Four of his six grandchildren scurried about in the yard among their mothers, and Eli smiled, feeling angry at himself for his bitterness about Katie Ann. He knew that he was blessed more than most men. He’d loved two women with all his heart, and he had a wonderful family and these beautiful grandchildren. He told himself that he would enjoy the Lord’s blessings, and he would joyfully endure another intervention from his daughters. Wondering what it would be this time, he recalled the girls’ many attempts to cheer him up over the past month. There had been several conversations about Katie Ann. His daughters were convinced he should travel to Canaan and tell her how he felt.

But it was Jake who convinced him otherwise. “If she wanted to be with you,
Daed
, wouldn’t she be?” he’d said.

As he got closer, he hesitated for a moment. Jake was sitting on the porch. All of his children were here, and by their expressions, Eli knew this wasn’t just a social call or a planned visit to boost his spirits.

K
ATIE
A
NN ADDED
another pot holder to her pile. Her days were long, spent tending to Jonas and working on her handmade items. Turning out lap quilts, pot holders, and knitted items kept her hands busy, if not always her mind. So often her thoughts would drift to Eli, but in her effort to guard her heart, she focused on being a good mother to Jonas and on more tangible goals that had nothing to do with Eli.

Vera paid a visit to Katie Ann every time she heard from him. Katie Ann looked forward to hearing what Eli was doing and how he was, although that same evening she would usually cry herself to sleep. The past two weeks had been better, though, because someone else’s love life was the focus of everyone’s attention. Martha and Arnold were getting married the first of May.

She smiled as Jonas pulled himself up in the playpen; she couldn’t believe he was seven months old already. An April breeze filled the house with the scent of spring, and Katie Ann was looking forward to Martha coming for supper, the way she always did on Saturday night. Katie Ann had said repeatedly that Martha should bring Arnold, but Martha always said this night was reserved for just the girls, which now included Danielle. The teenager was always pleasant, but a bit guarded. Martha said she was just the opposite at home, always rambling on about something. But apparently “Amish folks” made Danielle nervous.

Danielle had finally talked to Martha about her mother, a troubled woman with a drinking problem. Evidently that was not the first time her mother had hit her, but it was the worst. Katie Ann couldn’t believe they had not heard one word from the woman since the day she left Danielle there.

And Danielle was a handful for Martha. Twice Martha had awakened during the night to find that Danielle wasn’t home. She’d gone for a walk—or so she said. Then there was the loud music, the need for a cell phone, arguments about clothes. And Danielle still didn’t have a job, something Martha insisted upon when she agreed to let her stay.

“Where’s my baby?” Martha said when she arrived later that afternoon. She handed Katie Ann the casserole dish she was carrying before she marched to the playpen, leaned down, and smothered Jonas with kisses. “Oh, and by the way, I didn’t cook that. There was a woman in Monte Vista selling tamales out of a little shack. There was a long line, so I figured they must be good.”

Jonas raised his arms, always excited to see Granny, as Martha was now calling herself.

Katie Ann nodded. She’d never had tamales before, but she knew there was a big Latino influence in the area, and she was eager to try something new. “Where’s Danielle?” she asked as she peeled back the foil and breathed in the scent of pork and spicy seasonings.

Martha stood up, put her hands on her hips, and huffed. “You know that girl is as smart as a whip. Graduated from high school early before she ended up on my doorstep. But I’m not always sure her choices are as smart. She seemed to think that going to the movies with Angie was more important than our girls’ night out.”

“Who is Angie?”

“A girl she met in town when I sent her shopping for me. And Angie has a
car
.” Martha rolled her eyes. “I wish she could get friendly with some of the Amish young people around here. I’d feel a lot better. Her new friend’s nose is pierced, for goodness’ sake.” Martha threw her hands in the air. “What kind of girl pierces her nose?” She plopped down on the couch. “And I’ve told Danielle that she needs a job before we kill each other.”

Katie Ann smiled. “You care for her a lot, no?”

“I guess,” Martha said with a pout. “But I wouldn’t want to have three or four more just like her.”

“Tell me about the wedding. Is everything ready?” Katie Ann sat down beside her.

“Everything is ready except for confirmation from Bishop Esh. I visit him regularly, even though I’m not Amish. I figure he can bless our union and stand right up there next to Father Jim, who I also visit often, even though I’m not a Catholic.”

Katie Ann grinned every time she pictured Bishop Esh standing next to the priest from Arnold’s church—both presiding over a wedding that was neither Amish nor Catholic. She didn’t think their bishop from Lancaster County, Bishop Ebersol, ever would have done such a thing, but Bishop Esh was a bit more liberal.

Katie Ann used to think that maybe Martha was considering conversion to their faith, but Arnold was a devout Catholic, so that seemed unlikely now. Martha had a good relationship with both the bishop and the priest. She said it didn’t matter what religion you were as long as you were fully committed to the Lord.

“Someone’s here,” Martha said as she sat taller. “It’s a buggy. I can hear it coming up the driveway.”

“It’s Vera.” Katie Ann peered out the window, surprised that Vera was coming so close to the supper hour.

A few minutes later Vera walked into Katie Ann’s living room. Her expression was strained, and she didn’t even bother with polite small talk or come more than a few feet into the room. “I’m sorry to come this time of the evening, Katie Ann, but I got a phone call from Eli awhile ago.”

“What is it, Vera?” Martha asked.

“It’s his daughter Hannah, his oldest girl. She had the cancer awhile back, and they just found out it’s back.” She hung her head, then looked back up. “I thought you’d want to know, Katie Ann.”