Therapy Ever After (Therapy #1.5) (7 page)

Two bodies coloring outside the lines

Breaking all the rules

My push and your pull

Standing on the edge, grasping for each other

Leaping into an ocean of fears

Suddenly your nevers become my forevers

Your hopes now my fears

Two bodies intertwining

Two hearts

Two souls

We are now combining

Ask me questions or tell me lies

Want me today or need me tomorrow

Your right or my wrong is of no matter

Because outside the lines we belong

Always together

I
HAVE A
ton of homework and I’m sitting on my bed, halfheartedly studying. Jace and I are supposed to get together tonight. It’s been a few days since he was here and we made things official regarding our relationship. Our schedules make it hard to find time for each other, but we’re figuring it out. The past few days have been different. I have him on the brain like crazy. When we’re together, the feelings between us are all consuming. Being apart makes me want him that much more. I want to let this happiness in. I really do. I’m trying my best to keep the underlying fear from bubbling up. It keeps trying to creep into my mind, and it’s scary.

I roll my neck back and forth, trying to loosen up my stiff shoulders. My phone rings, and I look at it oddly because it rarely rings. I’ve already talked to Mercedes today. No one else usually calls. People text most of the time. When I see who it is, I grin.

I answer it. “I was just thinking about you.”

I roll my pencil back and forth across the top of my textbook, trying to not sound like a giddy teenager who was sitting by the phone waiting for a boy to call.

“You were? Hmmm. What were you thinking about me?” Jace teases.

“Oh, nothing much, just how much I can’t wait to see you tonight.”

“Yeah? Tonight does feel like a long time from now, doesn’t it?”

I pick up the pencil and start doodling on a scrap piece of paper.

“Sooo long,” I say dramatically and laugh.

“Well, I have good news. I got off work early. Two clients rescheduled.”

I perk right up. “Oh yeah?”

“Yep, go open your door.”

I hop up off the bed. “What! Are you here?”

I hurry down the hallway and to the door. I pull it open and there he is with his phone to his ear. “You sneaky man!” I exclaim, still talking into my phone like an idiot.

We stand there for a brief moment, both of us still holding our phones to our ears, and then we both burst out laughing before he steps in and hugs me.

“Surprise!”

He releases me and shuts the door.

“I love this surprise. You saved me from several more hours of studying.”

He kisses me chastely and says, “Oh? Is that the only reason?”

I grin and tilt my head to side flirtingly. “No, it’s not the only reason.”

He’s in his work clothes. He’s so handsome no matter how he’s dressed.

“You came straight here from work, didn’t you?”

“I did indeed.”

He reaches up and loosens his bright blue tie. It’s the same color as his gorgeous eyes. I’ve never been a fan of the businessman look, but Jace makes it look good. When he unbuttons the top couple of buttons on his shirt, my hands feel twitchy because I want to reach out and finish the job for him. He catches me staring him down, watching his every move with eyes that are dying to see all of him again one day very soon.

“What?” he says, acting all innocent as if he doesn’t know exactly
what
.

I shrug. “Nothing. Nothing at all,” I say and play it off in a teasing tone.

I go into the kitchen and ask him if he wants something to drink.

“Sure, do you have any juice?”

I laugh. “Juice?”

“Yes, juice. I’m on an apple juice kick right now.”

I giggle some more. “Sorry, no apple juice here. I do have some OJ though. Should I go out and get some of those cute juice boxes to keep in the fridge for you?” I taunt him.

He glares at me. “Ha ha, very funny.”

I hold up the OJ questioningly and he nods.

“You’re adorable, Jace. Apple juice . . .” I trail off, still teasing him.

I pour him a glass of OJ and I grab a bottle of water for myself.

“What do you want to do with all of this time we now have to ourselves?” he asks me.

I arch a brow. “I don’t know. You?”

“We could do a lot of making out. I’m all about giving in to your requests, and that particular request has been on my mind a lot these past couple of days.”

I grin like a Cheshire cat. “Is that right?”

He nods. “Mmm hmm.”

I glance up at the clock and then back to him. “That’s a loooot of making out.”

He looks at the clock, too, and then back to me. “Thank God for that.”

I place my water bottle on the counter and step inside his space as close as I can get without touching him. Then I lean in close to his ear and whisper, “Yes, thank God for that because I’m dying to have your hands on me again.”

I can visibly see his body tense at my words, and he immediately puts his glass down. I pull away from him just barely when he tells me, “You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?”

I shake my head slowly. “No, I’m just finally telling you what I want.”

Ever since he came back into my life, I’ve had my guard up. I’ve been careful, measured in my words and actions, but today I recalled something my therapist so wisely told me.

“You’ve been living a guarded life this past year, Jessica. You’re doing amazing, but you have to find balance. Living a responsible life is good. Living with purpose is even better, but you still have to be yourself while striking a balance with everything. Don’t confuse impulse with enthusiasm. Don’t see fear as a weakness. You must start trusting yourself to make wise decisions. And most of all, allow yourself to enjoy life for all it has to offer you.”

Wanting Jace isn’t me being impulsive or slutty. He isn’t a random guy. He’s my guy and has been for a long time. I may be scared, but that’s okay. I have to trust things are going to be okay. I have to live.

“Jess . . .” he hesitates. “What exactly do you want?”

I slip by him around the counter and into the living room. I turn to face him and start walking backward toward the hallway. His eyes are locked tightly onto mine. The flirty energy in the room has shifted. Things are a bit heavier, tense.

I take another step back and he starts toward me slowly.

“I want you to kiss me. A lot. All over.”

His stare intensifies and we both continue to move down the hallway.

“Allll over?” he inquires. His voice is now huskier.

I nod and, just before I get to my bedroom door, I say, “Everywhere.”

WE’RE BOTH IN
my bedroom now. I lean down and pick up my books and other items from my bed and put them on my nightstand. When my eyes meet his again, I can tell he’s on the edge of losing his mind in the best way possible.

I sit on the edge of my bed and hold my hand out to him. “Come kiss me.”

He doesn’t hesitate for a second. He’s beside me on the bed immediately, hands cradling my face and lips on mine hurriedly. The kiss is messy, unmeasured and infused with need. If my heart could skip a beat it would right the hell now. Clumsily, I turn in toward his body and get as close to him as I can. He responds by grabbing me by my waist and tries to move me back on the bed, but because I’m not a weightless feather, I only move back some. I help him and move the rest of the way back. We fall back onto the bed together side by side. He pulls me into him tightly and we continue kissing feverishly. Our legs intertwine with one of his legs between mine and one of mine between his. I feel his arousal instantly and I arch into his body, causing a slight friction between his leg and my inner thighs. Instinctively, he moves it up just enough to where the friction and pressure increases and I move against him. I swallow down a moan and begin feeling things in my body I haven’t felt in so long. My skin feels flushed and heat is building in places I had nearly forgotten existed.

His hand glides around to my ass, and he grips it firmly, pulling me in even closer just when I didn’t think we could get any closer than we were. I was wrong. We could get closer, so much closer. Our chests are rising and falling in a frenzy of heavy breathing. I’m still rubbing myself on his thigh, and soon I’m afraid I might embarrass myself if we don’t back off for a minute. Right when I have that thought, he pulls away from our kiss and then begins placing kisses one by one down and up my neck. He then whispers in my ear, “Tell me what you want. Tell me now, Jess, because I need to make sure what I’m thinking you want is what I’m about to do.”

I arch my head back, giving him more access to my neck, and say, “No more going slow. I want you, all of you.”

At my words, he rolls over on top of me. When I open my eyes we’re face to face.

“I’m going to show each and every last inch of your beautiful body exactly how much I’ve missed you,” he says, leaning down to kiss me again.

As soon as our mouths meet, I feel his tongue glide across the seam of my lips and I open for him. We kiss hard and fast. The more passion he feeds into me, the more I give. I kiss him back with a fervor that surpasses his own. Every apprehensive thought I may have been having falls away and my body is now in control. I want him inside me more than ever. If I could, I’d put him in my veins and let him beat into my heart.

I fist my hands in his hair and pull back from our kiss. “Tell me you have a condom. Please tell me you have one.”

He smiles, seemingly embarrassed. “I admit, I do.”

He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his wallet.

“So prepared,” I say.

He smiles and hands me the wallet. “I figured I better have one for the day you decided you didn’t want to wait anymore. I just didn’t know it would be this soon. Not that I’m complaining a damn bit.”

I smile and take his wallet, removing the shiny silver package. I lay both his wallet and the condom on the bed beside us. He glances over at it and then back at me before pushing himself up and off of me. I’m still lying on the bed looking up at him. He starts unbuttoning his shirt. Moving as fast as he can, he gets it done and off. God, this man is sexy. Even standing here in black slacks and a brown leather belt with a white V-neck t-shirt, he’s sexy. He pulls the shirt off to reveal his golden skin and toned body. I’m watching him undress and he’s watching me watch him. The angst is at a fever pitch. When he removes his belt and pants, I swallow deeply. Snug, dark gray boxer briefs show me precisely how much he wants me.

When he hooks his thumbs in the waistband and pulls them down, I continue to stare. I don’t even feel an ounce of embarrassment, nor do I feel the need to shy away from the perfectly naked man before me. Every part of him is mine, and I’m drinking it all in selfishly, greedily. When he crawls onto the bed, it dips and I try to adjust myself. He doesn’t say a word. He grabs the bottom edge of my t-shirt and pulls it up over my head with ease. In only my white bra, I’m motionless, allowing him to continue undressing me. Thankfully, my bra clasps in the front. He unclips it and pulls it to the sides. Immediately he leans down and kisses each one of my breasts softly. I close my eyes and turn my head to the side, inhaling deeply. His mouth is warm on my nipples and feels incredible.

After giving my breasts perfect attention, he places kisses down the center of my stomach until he reaches the waistband of my yoga pants. He doesn’t stop there. He traces his nose down the outside of the thin cotton material until he’s right there. He glides his nose with a slight amount of pressure against me and then leans in, kissing me there. It’s so intimate even though I’m still wearing my pants. He reaches up with one hand, bracing himself with his other, and pulls them down, bringing my panties with them all the way to my knees. Leaning up and back, he pulls them the rest of the way down and I kick them to the floor.

I’m completely exposed to him now. There’s not a single piece of clothing or past between us in this moment. It’s only Jace and Jess. Leaning off to the side of me, he begins exploring my body with his hand. Goosebumps quickly follow his touch. He tilts his head toward me and starts kissing me again as his hand continues its exploration. When he gets lower, I angle one of my legs out, knowing what he’s about to do. A soon as I feel his finger there, I let out a moan from deep in my throat and then I say in between kisses, “Please.”