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Authors: Dorothy Rivers

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“Terribly sorry, old boy. I didn

t realize


“Not your fault,” Rory said morosely. Going to his desk he rummaged through the chaos lying there, found some paper and his pen, and began to write.


Valerie darling,

The most frightful thing has happened


In six or seven days she

ll get it, he was thinking, if it

s forwarded immediately
...
and if Vivian was staying at a permanent address when
she wrote to book their room. If not

!

But he wasn

t going to think of that appalling possibility. He couldn

t bear to.

Vivian, lightly applying her foundation cream, said, “Surely you must have got back very early last night? You were sound asleep when I came in, just before twelve!”

So her pretence of sleep had been successful! Valerie dived into her pullover. Her voice reached Vivian muffled by its soft cashmere as she answered, “Yes—you must have been surprised to find me here!
...
I didn

t go out after all.”

“You didn

t
go

?”

“No.” Valerie was very busy folding her nightdress and laying it in her suitcase, with her back turned to Vivian. “Rory didn

t come. He must have forgotten.”


Forgotten!
Oh, but really—how
abominable
of him! And he seemed so nice


Hurt and humiliated though she was, Valerie couldn

t bear that Vivian should run Rory down. She answered, trying to sound casual, “Nobody can help forgetting! It was all arranged so long ago. It was just

one

of those things

. Not worth bothering about, though it was annoying at the time! How did
your
evening go?”

Vivian was not deceived. All in a flash she added several little things together, and added them into the correct sum: Valerie

s radiance during the last part of their stay in Switzerland, an indefinable something in her manner when she had announced that she was going out with Rory
...
Oh, the poor sweet, she was in love with him—she had been hoping, dreaming—and now it had all come to nothing, and she had been cruelly hurt. One must just hope that it hadn

t gone too deep. No one could help; this was a thing that she must fight out by herself.

So with her usual understanding Vivian seemed to notice nothing wrong, and said no more about it, but talked instead about the play she

d seen, followed by supper at a restaurant in Jermyn Street. For the same reason she refrained from looking at her sister

s face. But later, facing Valerie across the breakfast table, she was shocked to see how pale and utterly forlorn the girl was looking.

Midnight had struck for Cinderella. There was no glass slipper, and her prince had failed her. Tonight she would be back in Hawthorn Lodge, a drudge, unpaid and—yes, and unappreciated! Well—one could at least give her something else to think about.

“Listen, honey!” said Vivian, leaning across the table. “I

ve been wondering lately what to do about the future. Mine, and yours too. I hadn

t meant to speak of this till I was back at
H
awthorn Lodge—but you might just as well be doing some thinking too, over the week-end. Then when we get together next week we can pool the results
...
You
can

t
go on as you

ve been doing since Daddy died, toiling seven days a week for a ridiculous pittance and precious little thanks! Wouldn

t you like to train for something that would make you independent of the family, and give you a life of your own, and a career? You know how I would love to give it to you!”

Valerie hesitated for a moment. Then she said, rather apologetically, “It

s sweet of you—it

s
dear
of you to think of it! But I

m afraid I just don

t feel cut out for career girl. I haven

t got a business head. I would be useless in an office! Housekeeping and cooking are the only things
I
really like, you see—the only things I

m any good at.”

“But darling, no one mentioned offices or business! Your talent is for domestic things, so obviously the thing for you would be a training in domestic science. And if that

s what you

d like, then you shall have it—all the interest and fun of training in the job for which you have a bent. And when you

re qualified, you should be able to get a very good job at a very good salary. And when you marry, better still, for you

ll be cut out for a model wife!”

“I shan

t

” Valerie was beginning, but she
broke off, for if she said, “I shall never marry,” Vivian might suspect how much she minded about Rory and might even guess how much he meant to her. And anyway it was beside the point. So she said instead, “It does sound a wonderful idea! Only I do feel rather frightful to be even considering taking so much from you, when you

ve just given me this wonderful holiday. It seems so
greedy
—”


According to the Bible,” Vivian reminded her, “it

s more blessed to give than to receive. And that

s been my experience. And as I

d rather give to you than anyone on earth, I hope you won

t deny me the blessing by refusing to accept!”

“How could I, when you put it like that! But none the less I do feel grateful from the bottom of my heart.”

Vivian, feeling that the atmosphere was tending to become a trifle emotional, said briskly, “Well, be grateful if you like—but don

t you dare to feel

beholden

to me, that

s all, for it would ruin everything! Remember that it

s pleasing me as much as you, or more. I wonder if it will be difficult to get a vacancy next term in some domestic science college whose diploma is worth having?”

“I suppose I

d live in, wouldn

t I?”

“Not necessarily. If you trained in London, or
at that famous place in Edinburgh, we might share a f
l
at, and I

d take on some voluntary job. There must be plenty of them going begging, and I can

t live in useless idleness for ever! I must begin to shape a new life for myself, instead of drifting on without an aim or object.”

They agreed that Valerie should say nothing of their plan on her return to Hawthorn Lodge. Far wiser to postpone telling the family of their decision until Vivian had rejoined her, and they had investigated all the pros and cons, and every detail had been cut and dried.

And so, when Valerie was sitting an hour later in the northbound train, it looked as though the life ahead of her was going to change its drab, monotonous pattern for a new one, an exciting one, one that held all sorts of possibilities. She knew that if it hadn

t been for meeting Rory, if she had never known of his existence, she would have been overjoyed, enchanted by the turn events had taken.

Reason told her that one day she would again know happiness, that the dull pain numbing her would gradually ease its grip, the bleakness in her heart thaw slowly to a gentler clime.

But instinct paid small heed to reason, arguing with passionate despair that for her Rory and happiness were the same, so that without the first she could not have the second.

Struggling at last to turn her thoughts towards a more cheerful trend, the memory of something Vivian had said during their discussion over breakfast echoed in her mind.


I must begin to shape a new life for myself
,
instead of drifting on without an aim or object
.”
The memory of Vivian

s courage roused her own. If Vivian can do that, so can I! she told herself. Miserable people blight the happiness of everyone around them. I
won

t
become a blight. I

ll find some sort of satisfaction somehow in my
work and—in just
living
—or die in the attempt!

She would forget Rory. She would put the past behind her and with Vivian

s help build something good out of the future. So deciding, she took up her paper, but in spite of all her resolutions it was not the printed page she saw, but a shapely dark head set on broad flat shoulders and a pair of merry grey eyes smiling at her in a thin, tanned face.

 

CHAPTER
EIGHT

As it was Saturday, Robert and Harold had been playing golf together in the afternoon, while Monica and Janet had gone to see a film. But they were all back in Hawthorn Lodge soon after five, gathered in the big communal sitting-room to listen for the sound of Valerie

s arrival.

Presently they heard the taxi drawing up outside, and then the front door opening. After giving her time to pay the-driver, they all flocked out to welcome her, very pleased to have her back.

“Have a good time? We

ve missed your cooking
!

“Did you enjoy yourself? It

ll be nice to have a hot meal in the evenings, now you

re back!” her brothers greeted her, pecking automatically at her cheek in turn.

“My goodness! What a lovely suit! It must have cost a pretty penny!” exclaimed Monica enviously.

“I

ve got sausages for supper, nice and quick for you to cook. We

ll want it punctually at seven, we

re all going to a canasta party at the Jevons

,” Janet told her. The housekeeper Vivian had engaged as Valerie

s deputy had offered, before her final departure, to leave a casserole prepared in readiness for this evening

s meal, “So that Miss Valerie won

t have to start in on cooking the instant minute she gets back!” But Janet had refused her kindly meant suggestion, for she and Monica had privately agreed that they must take a firm stand after Valerie

s return, and make it quite clear that they expected her to carry on exactly as she had done before—otherwise, as soon as Vivian returned with her ridiculous idea that they should all join in to help their younger sister of an evening and at week-ends with the washing up, there was no knowing where it might end.

“If we don

t look out, Valerie will be expecting time off, like a paid housekeeper!” Monica had declared, and Janet had agreed, “Yes. We must make it plain that we won

t stand for any nonsense! She

s had a splendid holiday—far longer than
we
ever get! And now she must make up for it.”

Valerie knew quite well that it was curiosity, not kindliness, that prompted Monica

s offer to help her to unpack.

“Oh, don

t you bother! I can manage quite well, and I needn

t start on supper for another hour,” she said. But Monica lingered, first admiring Valerie

s new cases, then asking how she had got on with ski-ing, all the while staring at each garment as Valerie unpacked it, until finally she could restrain herself no longer, and burst out,

Two
dance dresses—Vivian must be crazy! When does she think you

re going to wear frocks like that in Darlingford
?

Valerie would have liked to retort, “I don

t suppose I shall be staying in Darlingford much longer
!
” but she bit it back, and said instead, “I needed them in Switzerland—I danced a lot, one wouldn

t have been enough.”

Janet popped her head round the door to say, “Oh, Valerie, the laundry has been
ruining
my overalls, so I

ve saved up all the ones I wore this week for you to do. I haven

t got a single clean one left, but if you wash one after supper it should be dry enough for ironing tomorrow.”

Before Valerie could answer, Monica burst out, “Just
look
at all this, Janet! Vivian

s given Valerie a perfect trousseau! Piles of nylon undies—goodness only knows how many pairs of shoes—cashmere twin sets
—two
dance dresses—that darling
little yellow frock—blouses


Valerie, hating it, began to cram them anyhow into her drawers and cupboards, but Monica continued with her catalogue.

“Did you ever see such a luscious dressing gown? And what

s that—a cocktail suit—a cocktail suit for
Valerie,
who

s never in her life been to a cocktail party! Really, it

s too sickening that you

re such a little skinny, Valerie—goodness knows, no one could call me fat, but I could never squeeze into any of your things—and they

d be far more use to me than you!”

Valerie went o
n
putting away her clothes in silence, and the others, having seen all that there was to see, went downstairs to rejoin Harold and Robert, to whom they poured out a description of Valerie

s new possessions.

“It must have cost Vivian a mint of money!” Monica declared.

“And all for things that won

t be any use at all to Valerie in Darlingford—it

s not as though she led a social kind of life!” said Janet.

“H

m. Pity she didn

t put her money into something all the family could have enjoyed—television, or even a new car, if she has money to fling around like that!” said Robert.

Harold said thoughtfully, “I must have a talk with Vivian when she gets back. Look into her investments and that kind of thing. It sounds to me as if she hadn

t got much money sense.”

Robert agreed. “Be better if she

d let you handle her affairs. Women don

t understand that kind of thing.”

This was precisely what Harold had in mind, although he had not liked to say so outright. With an approving glance at Robert he remarked that they must hope Vivian had not been spending capital on Valerie, and that trip they

d had to Switzerland.

“It would be nice to find out what her income is,” mused Monica.

Janet chimed in. “Well, anyway, it

s obvious that she can afford to pay well for her keep, if she proposes to stay here! That would reduce our overhead expenses. You could have a word with her about that, too, Harold.”

“Mustn

t forget that she and Valerie own half this house between them, and according to Father

s will if two of us insist on selling, it must be done,” Harold reminded them. “Have to go carefully—we don

t want to start the pair of them thinking along those lines!”

“Why should they? Valerie has a good home here with us—the very last thing she would want would be to lose it!” Janet protested.

“Well, if she doesn

t she

ll have to mend her ways!” said Monica. “Vivian must be made to understand that though it was all very well for everyone to join in helping Valerie with washing up the supper things, and at the weekends, just while Vivian was on the footing of a visitor, if she

s going to stay for any length of time the whole thing must be put upon a different footing, and Valerie must keep to her routine. After all, she
is
the housekeeper! Why should we do her work for her? Especially as it

s chiefly Valerie who benefits from Vivian

s money!”

“Vivian did spend a good deal on the household in a general way when she was here,” Robert pointed out, “she was for ever buying pheasants, and mushrooms, and pineapples, and that kind of thing. And didn

t I hear something about a pressure co
ok
er, too?”

Janet retorted, “It would be better if she paid her share. We don

t want charity!”

Harold said, “Time enough to go into all that later, after I

ve had a talk with her about her finances, and offered to handle her affairs for her. Better to get that obstacle behind us first, before we think about the other.”

“If she does persuade you into handling her affairs, she ought to pay you well for doing it!
It

ll take up a lot of time!” Monica suggested.

Harold had not considered that possibility; none the less it was a pleasant thought. “Well—we shall see what we shall see!” he said.

“If Harold

s going to spend a lot of time dealing with Vivian

s affairs, it

ll mean that Robert has to do more in the business,” Janet remarked to no one in particular. The inference was obvious: if that should happen, Robert

s share of income from the business should be increased.

Robert said nothing, but looked sidelong at his elder brother, who replied pacifically, “That

s a point to be considered too—but nothing

s settled yet, remember!”

“Well, the sooner it
is
settled after Vivian gets back, the better. Once you let things drift it

s far more difficult to get them on the lines you want,” said Janet briskly.

Valerie worked hard that week-end, for though the temporary housekeeper had been conscientious and hardworking, Janet and Monica had refused to employ her for the number of hours Valerie had told them would be necessary if the house were to be kept really clean, saying that it would be too expensive, so although she had evidently done her best, things were not quite as Valerie liked to have them, and the cake tins were empty.

So she washed and ironed, scrubbed and baked and polished, glad enough to be distracted from her thoughts of Rory. Yet there was no escaping memories, for when she turned the wireless on, by cruel coincidence a melting baritone stole out into the room singing—


My small, my slim Susanna


and though she switched it off at once, it was too late: her heart had already been pierced with pain renewed.

Longing for Vivian

s return, she could have wept when Monday morning brought a telegram to say that after all she would not be coming until the following evening. But the time passed somehow, as time inevitably does, and at last she heard the long-awaited sound of the front door opening, and running from the kitchen found her sister in the hall, glowing in-her dark red fur-lined coat, and somehow giving out vitality and reassurance in that indefinable way she had.

Valerie fell upon her. “Oh—how
lovely
that you

re back!”

Vivian laughed and hugged her. “Anyone would think, to hear you, that we

d been apart for months!” She tossed her coat down on a chair. “The others back yet?”

“Not yet.”

“And you, I suppose, are slaving in the kitchen?” Without waiting for the answer that she knew to be inevitable, she slipped her hand through Valerie

s arm and steered her whence she came. “I

ll come and keep you company. I can unpack later. Ironing
again
!”

“Yes. There

s a good deal to catch up on!” Valerie said as she took up the iron.

“Just what you were doing when I walked in, hours before you were expecting me, when I came back from America!”

“Yes. Everything is just the same—except for all my lovely new belongings—and of course the memories of that heavenly holiday in Switzerland
!
The circle is complete.”

But in her heart Valerie knew all too well that nothing was the same, since she herself was changed so greatly. The inexperienced girl that Vivian had found after eight years of absence was no longer there. In place of her was someone very different: someone who had know
n
the tremulous dawn of love; the rapture of her first kiss; the brief promise of a radiant future, followed all too cruelly by disaster to her dreams; the bitterness o
f
humiliation.

“That circle is complete, yes
,”
Vivian agreed, “so now the time has come to start another. That

s why I put off coming back until to-day. Now
listen! It

s all settled! You and I

” She broke
off at the sound of footsteps in the hall. “Tell you to-night,” she said, and then, “Hullo, Hal! Escaped the treadmill earlier than usual?”

“Yes—yes, managed to break away—thought you

d be back about now.”

Nice of him, thought Vivian, touched by what she took to be a sign of brotherly affection. Though she would have liked to go up to her room at once, she went with him when he suggested that they should have a glass of sherry by the fire, this chilly evening.

Harold would have liked to lead up diplomatically to the matter on his mind, but though the others had been warned to keep away, there was no knowing how soon Valerie might join them. So without preamble he came straight to the point.

“Now that I

ve got you to myself for once we might as well discuss one or two things I

ve been turning over in my mind. It seems abrupt—but it may be long enough before we

re on our own again!”

Vivian looked at him inquiringly, wondering what was coming next.

“A woman,” Harold told her, “has no understanding as a rule of business matters. Every woman needs a man behind her, making her decisions for
h
er, taking the burden of financial responsibility off her shoulders!
...
We haven

t talked, so far, of your affairs. But I

ve been thinking for some time that you might like me to take them over for you.”

Vivian was furious. So the family had decided that it would be a good idea for Harold to take control of her finances, so that they should all know every detail of her private concerns! If that should happen, he would be for ever giving her unsought advice—trying to curb her expenditure on Valerie—telling her she shouldn

t buy her car, even though she could do it out of income, but instead invest the money in some sound securities

interfering—domineering—the idea was quite intolerable
!

But she managed to control her feelings, and her manner was as-amiable as ever as she said lightly, “Dear me, Hal—you
are
behind the times! Some women kno
w
as much as men, or more, of business matters, these days! You must remember than in America I had close contact for some years with very wide and very powerful business connections, through Pete. And as I shared all his interests, you may imagine that I learned—well, quite a lot!”

The implication of her words was clear. “I learned more of big business than you

ll ever know, or need to know to run your little family concern.” Too soften it, she smiled at him.

“I wouldn

t dream of troubling you to shoulder my affairs!” she told him. “I manage very nicely on my own. And as you know, I

ve always liked to make my own decisions! Well—what

s been going on in Darlingford for the last five weeks?”

Harold realized that she had no intention of allowing him to pursue the topic of her money matters. So with as good a grace as he could muster, he let her lead him into talk of local happenings, and of his decision to stand for election to the Borough Council, until Valerie came in, and Vivian felt she could say she wanted to unpack, without the risk of seeming impolite to Harold.

Harold took her cases upstairs. Lingering behind a moment, Vivian asked Valerie, “Are there any letters for me?”

“Several. I

ve put them in your room.”

Vivian followed Harold. Valerie had put flowers in her bedroom—sprays of forsythia whose yellow buds would soon bloom in the indoor warmth, and a clump of primroses that had flowered early in a sheltered corner: she had dug them up and then replanted them in a blue pottery bowl. They gave the room a welcoming air, but for the moment Vivian scarcely noticed them. All her attention was for the pile of letters lying on her dressing table. She was glad when Harold left her, so that she might see who had written to her.

As soon as she was by herself she pounced upon them, and glanced quickly at the envelopes. One from Pete

s mother, one from her lawyer in New York, two from friends in America, a couple of receipts, and that was all. Vivian put them down unread, and turned to her unpacking, feeling curiously depressed and flat as she began to hang away her suits and dresses. The gay elation of rejoining Valerie, and telling her the exciting news of all that she had done in London, had left her.

It was ridiculous! she told herself. She had no cause for feeling dismal, since her plans for Valerie were turning out so well. Why, then, should she feel so dreary?

Trying to analyze the cause of her depression, she discovered that she hadn

t realized how much she had been hoping for a letter from John, until she found that none from him awaited her. Odd, she reflected, that one could have so many friends as she possessed, yet so few who really counted

so few whose loss would mean a blank, if they should leave one

s life for ever!

Briefly though she had known him, John Ainslie was one of those who counted. It would hurt her, hurt more than she cared to think about, if on his side their friendship meant so little that he was content to let it drop with no attempt to keep in touch with her
...

When she had finished her unpacking she went down to help Valerie, who was dishing up a fricassee of rabbit, accompanied by sweet
co
rn
fritters. Valerie looked up eagerly as she came in.

“Tell me

?” she begged.

Smiling, Vivian shook her head. “There isn

t time now! We

ll have a session when we

re going to bed!”

Meanwhile the others had foregathered in the sitting
room. Harold told Robert and the two girls of his abortive talk with Vivian.

“Sounds as though you

d made a hash of it!” said Janet in her usual downright way.

Monica snapped back at her. “Nothing of the sort! You mightn

t be so keen to criticize if Robert pulled his weight occasionally!”

Their bickering was interrupted by the arrival of Vivian to say the meal was ready, but while she went ahead of them to the dining-room the others, lingering for a moment, agreed that at any rate there was now no reason for postponing a discussion of the other matter on their minds.

With this in view, Monica and Janet joined in washing up without a murmur, rather to Valerie

s surprise, but she began to understand their amiability when, after they were all gathered in the sitting-room again, Harold opened fire.

“Now we

re all here,” he began, “it seems rather a good opportunity for a family pow-wow.”

Vivian sensed at once that something disagreeable was in the offing, but she said pleasantly, “Pow-wow

always makes me think of Red Indians, for some unknown reason! What are we to pow-wow about, Hal?”

“Well—er—so far, you

ve been staying with us as a visitor. But that of course can

t go on indefinitely


“Indeed, no!”

“—and so one feels the time has come for—er

for everything to return to its normal footing. Up to now we

ve all been giving Valerie a helping hand so that she might enjoy more of your company. But now you

ve been away together for five weeks, that seems unnecessary! So we all feel that from now on Valerie must do her work entirely on her own, as she was doing before you came.” Monica and Janet signified agreement.

Valerie hated unpleasantness. Her hand shook so that she could scarcely put her needle in the sheet that she was turning sides to middle. It was Vivian who spoke up.

“But
you
are all well paid for the work you do, and you have time off, too!” she pointed out. “Valerie toils for you seven days a week for next
to nothing


“She has a free home here. The rest of us contribute our share of expenses,” Monica pointed out, hoping that Vivian would take the hint.

“Anyone who worked for you and lived in would get what you describe as a

free home

and regular time off duty, and at least three times what you pay Valerie!” Vivian reminded her.

“That

s beside the point,” said Harold. “Valerie is one of the family.”

“That

s certainly one way of looking at it. So you don

t find the position satisfactory?”

“Not since you

ve been here—”

“It worked all right before you came—”

“Not as it is now—”

“It was all right when Valerie did it on her own—”

Vivian said briskly, “Good! I

m glad to hear it, for I

d been afraid that you might miss Valerie badly when she leaves. We

re going to live together in a flat I

ve taken in London, while she has a training to enable her to earn a first-rate salary for far less work than she

s been doing for you for next to nothing. And as you

ve been so dissatisfied, no doubt you

ll be as glad to lose her as she will be to go.”

Valerie, startled out of her unhappiness, stared wide-eyed at Vivian. So it was all settled! That was what she had been going to tell her when they were alone!

The others gaped at her, aghast. Harold and Robert, thought of how they hated bringing in the coal and coke on Sundays. Monica and Janet thought of the enormous laundry bills they

d had while Valerie was away. They all thought of her delicious cooking. And they knew that though, if they

d had Va
l
erie to themselves, they could have played upon her feelings and almost certainly persuaded her to change her mind, with Vivian behind her there was no hope of that. Monica burst out furiously:

“So
that

s
what you

ve been plotting behind our backs! I always knew you were a trouble-maker from the moment that you came here, Vivian! Valerie will be sorry one day for the way she has
behaved! Of all the mean ingratitude


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