This Summer (14 page)

I start to take down the remaining prizes and shove them into the plastic bag they came in. “Do you think you’re going to come tomorrow night?” I ask, changing to a neutral subject and not letting the fact that he just tasted me cloud my thoughts.

“Do you want me to?” he asks, not looking at me.

I tie off the end of the bag. “I think it would be fine.”

“I don’t want to get in the middle of your double date.”

“It’s not a date,” I explain. “And yes I would like it if you came. If you’re planning on leaving for good I think one last fireworks would be a nice thing.” The words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop them.

“So you did hear.” It’s not a question.

“I heard the end,” I lie.

He’s in front of me in two strides. He keeps his hands to himself this time. “I don’t know what to say Hadley. I’m here to get a job done.”

I sigh, meeting his eyes. “I know that. I’d really just like for us to be friends.”

He nods. “I’d like that too.”

“Great,” I say and further the point by getting back to work.

“Ready yet?” Lily yells from a few booths down.

“Almost!” I call.

“I’ll finish up,” Will says.

I drop the prize bag to the corner of the booth. “Are you sure?”

He smiles. “Yes I’m sure.”

“Are you headed to Eddie’s?” Carter asks Lily as she passes.

Isabelle scoffs. “I didn’t tell you to invite them.”

Lily flips Isabelle off and is met with her pink petulant tongue.

“We have other plans,” Lily snarks.

“Like what?” Carter asks, eyeing Will.

I need to get out of there. “Just going to hang at Lily’s.”

“I really think you should come,” Carter pleads. “I’m sorry,” he mouths as his apologetic eyes meet mine. He has more mood swings than Lily. But I’ve had enough of him for one day. Maybe taking the weekend off from seeing him will allow me to forgive him.

“If they don’t want to come they don’t have to,” Isabelle says over her shoulder. “Let’s go.”

Carter gives me one last look and goes with her.

Lily tucks her arm under mine. “Girls only tonight.” Her gaze flicks to Will. “See you later, Will.”

“Bye,” he calls to the both of us as we walk toward the woods.

I glance back at the booth.

“So you heard what he said,” Lily starts. “I know it probably stung a bit, but this is our last summer together before you go away, I want to spend as much reckless time with you as possible.”

I pull her closer until our shoulders are pressed together. “Sure.”

She squeals and skips a few steps until I can’t help but laugh with her. “What the hell? Let’s be reckless together.”

“No regrets!”

“No regrets,” I say as convincingly as possible. Even though my biggest regret is standing a hundred feet behind me.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Hadley

Hanging out with Lily and her brothers for the rest of the night distracted my thoughts away from Will and Carter. Lily’s three step brothers played a racing video game and eventually we joined them. They snuck us some beers, leaving me buzzed by the early hours of the morning, but for the first time since Will returned, I felt completely at ease. My worries about us floated away into the night, and I started to like this new “no regrets” motto.

We didn’t have to get up early for work since the camp was closed so I was able to catch up on some sleep on the living room couch.

I wake the next morning with a slight twinge in my head but otherwise I’m fine. I don’t drink that often but when I do, I always have somewhat of a hangover. I make my way into the bathroom and grab two aspirin, popping them into my mouth and pulling a sip of water from the tap. I hear someone shuffling outside of the door and, thinking it’s Lily, I open it.

Thomas, the oldest brother, sleepily passes the door in only his boxers. I look at the ceiling, not wanting to see more than I need to. I bolt down the hall and open Lily’s bedroom door.

She’s curled up in a ball and I pounce on her. She groans. “Stop it,” she says weakly, still half-asleep.

“No way. If I am up, you are up,” I say.

Lily rolls her eyes at me and slides off the bed. “Coffee,” she grunts.

***

As I press the brew button on the coffee maker, Lily comes into the kitchen, furiously typing on her cell. I glance at the clock. “Who is that?”

The corner of her mouth lifts. “Aiden.”

I grab two mugs from the cabinet. “How’s that going?”

“He’s not interested,” Lily says with a hint of disappointment in her voice.

I remember how close they’ve been lately. “He’s definitely interested.”

She snorts. “I don’t have the right body parts for him to be interested.”

I stare at her, but she’s dead serious.

She shrugs. “It’s fine. Actually we have a lot in common, other than the guys we’re attracted to. It should be weird but I feel like he’s the girlfriend I’ve never had.”

“Wow, thanks,” I deadpan.

She takes a mug, her morning lifeline. “Unlike you, he actually tells me what’s on his mind. Not that I don’t love you, but you are pretty shy with your escapades.”

“My ‘escapades’,” I finger quote, “are none of your business.” And also nonexistent at the moment.

“And that’s totally fine,” she says defensively. “But sometimes a girl needs to explore other friends who can appeal to her extroverted side. Since Will broke your heart you’ve been a closed clam.”

The mention of his name takes all the words from my mouth.

She pours herself a mug of coffee and innocently slurps. I wish there was something I could say to make her feel the way I do, but she’s rarely rattled by anyone. And she’s absolutely right. I haven’t been the same girl since Will left. I knew that, but I had put up my guard and I didn’t think anyone else caught on. Had I been that obvious broken-hearted girl? I know I wallowed for a few months—okay, almost a year— but I thought being with Carter would have changed me. With Lily’s evasive glances, I know what I thought and what was perceived are two totally different things.

“Is this like a thing now?”

“You’re a little harder now,” Lily starts. “Not harsh or anything but there used to be a spark in you which has disappeared for the most part. And you used to laugh more.”

“Carter didn’t have anything to complain about,” I say, even though I’m teetering on dangerous ground. I don’t want Carter to be the life-line in this situation.

“Carter met the post-Will Hadley. Like I said, you aren’t a bad person or whatever, just different. You’re still amazing but being around someone for so long and then they do a complete one-eighty is challenging to deal with. I thought you’d come around again after the first year but his vanishing act did a number on you.”

“Where was this before?” I stare at her accusingly.

She shakes her head and sits down at the kitchen table, pulling her legs up onto the chair. “If anyone mentioned the word Will around you, it could stop a conversation completely. And with him returning to town, I don’t want you to slip back into it.”

She isn’t wrong. I cringe thinking about those early days after he left.

“What do you suggest then?”

“Well, you heard it right from him. Maybe you really need to let go. Like completely. I know we said no regrets but I’m not sure if you mean it.”

I pour myself some coffee. “I do!”

“Good,” she says, satisfied.

***

We spend the afternoon hanging around the house, the weight of the week lifting from my shoulders. Being constantly alert and aware of the kids has taken more of a toll on me then I remembered. We are several episodes in on Lily’s favorite teen detective series before my eyes start to droop.

She slaps me on the arm. “No way are you going to fall asleep now.”

“You kept me up last night!” I whine.

“I did no such thing.” She turns off the show and slaps me again with the remote.

I roll away from her before she can do it again.

“I’m going to shower and get ready. Take my car home and do the same. I’ll have Eddie come get us in like two hours.”

I close my eyes and lean into the couch. A pillow socks me in the face and I open my eyes to see Lily running up the stairs.

“Chop chop!”

I exhale deeply and hop up from the couch.

Her exuberance is unexpected. Eddie must mean more to her than she let on. She was there for me through pretty dark times, this is the least I can do for her.

***

When I get out of the shower, I hear Ethan move around outside the door. I think nothing of it when I open the door and head to my bedroom. I stop dead in my tracks when Ethan and Will turn from looking out my window. I tighten the towel around my chest.

“What are you doing in my room?” I direct at Ethan, my eyes burning with the effort of avoiding Will’s gaze.

Ethan points to Will’s house. “Just checking something out.” He turns back to the window. “I don’t see where the leak is coming from unless it’s from the roof.”

Will hasn’t caught up with Ethan, he’s still staring at me. I risk a glance and something flutters in my chest. His eyes move over, filled with something else. But I know the look. It’s exactly what I remember from the last time I saw him. The night we took our relationship to the next level. Even though we just teetered on that step for a second, I know without a doubt that he felt at least part of what I felt for him.

Ethan cocks his head in Will’s direction. Will recovers and I force myself to move further into the room towards the closet. My fingers hurt from holding the towel to my body but I poke through my shirts while they talk. Each syllable from Will’s mouth strikes me and I can barely take it anymore. I want to run back into the bathroom and lock the door until they are done, but instead I wait.

They leave the room without another word and I sprint to the door, kicking it closed. I lean against it as I hear someone knocking softly on the other side.

“I forgot my phone,” Will says. “It’s on the sill.”

I pull the towel tighter until it pinches my skin. I spot the phone. “Okay,” I manage. My breathing is ragged in my ears.

My fingers fumble the small phone and the screen lights up. I’m drawn like a moth to a flame when I see several unanswered texts on the screen from someone named Alex.

“
When are U coming home?”

“Hello?”

“I’m about to come up there and get U.”

Will knocks on the door again. “Did you find it?”

I flinch and turn the screen off. Stop being so nosey! Of course Will would have made other friends in the two years he was in Texas. I open the door. Will’s rough hand moves over mine, enveloping it and his phone. His gaze is unmoving as I let go of the phone. “I’ll see you soon?” His voice is low, and for a second I wonder if I have the same effect on him as he does on me.

“Okay,” I say, as if that’s the only word in my vocabulary.

“I look forward to it,” he says, and lets go of my hand. I poke my head through the gap in the door and watch him turn the corner to the stairs.

Ethan comes out of his room. “See ya, man.” He turns to me, wrinkling his nose. “What’s with the face?”

“What face?”

Ethan diverts his gaze to the stairs then back to me slowly. I pull myself back into the room and close the door before he has a chance to say anything else.

***

Will

I stare at my truck as if it’s a lifeline.
Don’t look up. Don’t look up
. I repeat to myself. I reach my driveway and know Hadley’s window is out of view. I heard the shower running when Ethan and I went in her room but I didn’t anticipate seeing her in a towel, her damp hair clinging to her skin, and all I wanted to do was touch her.

My phone buzzes and I check the screen.

Savannah Alexis. She forces everyone to call her Alex since she hates the old-fashioned namesake from her great grandmother. Out of all the girls I’ve been with since I’ve lived with Mabel, she’s been the clingiest one of all of them. Most of them want to settle down and get married and when I make it perfectly clear that is not going to happen, they move on. But not her. I’ve dated three other girls since hooking up with her, yet she is still persistent.

“I’ll be back at the end of the summer,” I type, and open the front door.

Before I reach the stairs, her face appears on my screen. She obviously didn’t get the hint.

I click the button on top of the phone and toss it into the basket on the table by the stairs. But I miss, the basket tilting and knocking over the bowl next to it. I’m not quick enough before it falls, cracking when it hits the floor. A strong scent of liquor stings my nose. I grip the banister and glance at the living room my vision blurring.

A puddle of golden liquid rests next to the couch, the mouth of the bottle peeking out from the other side.

“Dad?” I call, picking up the bottle from the floor. I head toward the kitchen for a towel and flick on the light.

“Jesus!” My hand tightens around the bottle as I take in the person in front of me. “Dad?” He’s standing by the sink, his hands gripping the counter. They shake with the effort of holding him up.

He turns his glossy eyes to mine and it takes a moment for him to place me. I drop the empty bottle into the trash and reach for the towel on the counter. Dad clamps his hand on mine. In his state he has surprisingly good reflexes.

My blood boils. “Let go of me. I’m cleaning up your mess. Again.”

His gaze narrows. “I made no mess.”

“Okay, Dad,” I placate and pull the towel from under his hand.

I head into the living room, turn the TV off and kneel down by the puddle, mopping it with the towel. I think of Hadley. She’s the person I run to in my mind when I come home to him like this. I wish I could have made her stay with me tonight at least until he passed out. I stand up and my spine stiffens. Dad hovers at the threshold of the room. His hands clench and unclench as if he’s holding a set of pliers. I move towards him.

“Excuse me,” I say stepping forward. But he doesn’t move.

I attempt to move past him but he pushes his body into my way.