To Love a Man (4 page)

He surprised her by having the grace to blush.

“Is there anything else I can get you or do for you before I go?”

She had to smile, and he looked at her quizzically. “That was almost exactly what Cruz asked me before he left.”

His face froze and then his brow furrowed and his face began to resemble a thundercloud. “And I’ll tell you the same thing I told him when he got back from seeing to you: you stay
away
from him, Ellie.”

She snorted. “You can tell me not to darken your door again. You can even tell me not to set foot – injured or otherwise – on your property. But I don’t believe you have any right what so ever, Mr. Jennings, to tell me who I can or cannot see. Fuck off.”

He couldn’t suppress a small grin. “That was extremely reminiscent of what he said to me, too.”

“I’m not surprised. He’s a smart man.”

“I’m not kidding, Ellie. Leave Cruz alone.”

“I’m not kidding either, Cal. You are no one in my life any more.” It felt better than she wanted it to when she saw him flinch slightly before he managed to cover it up. “Sex and the highly out of character Florence Nightingale routine not withstanding, you couldn’t have proven it to me any better this time around than you did the last time you completely rejected me. So fuck you.”

He wasn’t very happy with the idea of leaving things at that, but he didn’t have much choice, he supposed, and he liked that even less. He was a man who was used to having options – money usually did that for him. But when it came to Ellie and whatever it was that was between them – what had been and would never be again, despite this delightful interlude – he was beginning to think that he’d brought it all on himself, although he couldn’t see how that could be.

He strode to the head of the bed and leaned down to kiss her, but she coyly turned her head. Not that he put up with that. He caught her chin and turned her head, giving her a slow, lingering kiss. As he rose, he couldn’t help but notice something that only contributed to the upset he refused to acknowledge he was feeling – the clear outline, in darkened black and blue relief against her pale white skin, of his hand where he had grabbed her bicep to haul her unceremoniously out of his house.

His jaw began to tic again, not that she noticed. “If your ankle gets any worse, let me know. I’ll have my personal physician come and take a look at it.”

“Oh yeah,” Ellie snorted sarcastically. “You’ll be the
first
person I call – not!”

He stared down at her and she finally did see the tic in his jaw that meant he was pissed. Well, too bad about him.

“When you get up the next time, be sure to throw the deadbolt behind me. I’ll lock it, but don’t forget to do that, too.”

“Uh huh.”

“Good night.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

***

As luck would have it, the next day was Sunday, so she didn’t really have anything pressing to do. She was supposed to go grocery shopping and vacuum the house, but that stuff could all wait. She had enough food on hand that she wasn’t going to starve, and if all else failed, there was delivery, although she hated to spend the money.

She’d stayed in bed – in deference to trying to use her foot as little as possible, she certainly wasn’t getting any rest while doing so. Her phone had rung on the dot at nine – it was Ash. She knew damned well better than to call her any time before that unless she’d been run over by a bus or just fucked a celebrity. And Ellie was willing to bet that no one at Cal’s party – filthy rich as they may have been – qualified as a bona fide celebrity. “Hello?”

“Ells!”

She hated that particular nickname but she couldn’t seem to dissuade Ashley from using it, so she continued to refer to her as ‘Ash’, when she knew she hated that name, too. Turn about, etc., etc., etc.

“So I heard there was some kind of commotion about you and Mr. Too Handsome For Words yesterday.”

Leave it to Ashley to be pretty much oblivious about things that went on with anyone else. If it didn’t directly affect her, it didn’t much interest her even when it involved her supposed best friend.

“Yeah. He spotted me and bodily threw me out of the house.”

“In front of anyone?” She sounded positively horrified.

“In front of
everyone
, apparently, except for you.”

“I was—”

“Let me guess – giving the mayor a blowjob?”

“HIM? As if!”

“Okay, giving a captain of industry a blow job?”

“They were all too old – grossly old,” she added, because Ellie knew that ‘old’ wasn’t necessarily a deterrent to Ashley’s gold digging tendencies; they just couldn’t
look
that way.

“Okay, giving a blow job to a congressman?”

“Not quite, but you’re warm – it was a congressman’s son!”

Her “congratulations” was meant sarcastically, but sometimes that kind of intonation just went right over Ashley’s head, especially when she didn’t want to hear it in the first place.

“Well, I met someone myself – in the midst of being thrown out the front door. Although I didn’t give him a hummer.”

“You did?”

Ellie wasn’t sure whether she should be insulted at just how surprised and shocked Ashley sounded, or whether she should just let it slide. She wasn’t feeling up to par, so she let it slide. “Yeah. Cal did, literally, throw me out the door and I broke the heel of one of my sandals – you know, the creamsicle colored ones—”

“Oh good, just those ugly things. No loss then – yay!”

Ellie sighed, closing her eyes and rubbing her brow. Maybe Cal was right. She needed to get some new friends. “Yeah, well, because the heel broke I twisted my ankle, so I had to kind of hop to my car and Cal sicced his bodyguard or security guy on me, and he turned out to be a really nice guy.”

“He did?”

“Yeah. He’s big – you know I like ‘em that way – and used to be in the Army as a medic. He carried me to my car. Then, because it’s a standard and I couldn’t drive it very well, he moved me onto the passenger’s seat and drove me home. And then carried me into my apartment and took care of me – put ice on my ankle and everything.”

“Wow – sounds like a winner! What’s his name?”

“Cruz Montoya.”

“Well, it sounds like we both did all right yesterday!”

Ellie didn’t bother to repeat her side of things – thoroughly humiliated in front of most of the town, hauled out on her ass, sprained ankle... as far as Ash was concerned, in her little corner of the world, if a man paid attention to you, then it was a win.

And that was hardly the only phone call she received that day – since most people just texted her, it was like friggin’ Grand Central Station!

Long about two o’clock in the afternoon, she got a call from someone who had identified himself on her cell phone as Cruz Montoya – That Cute Guy Who Brought Me Home – as if she was going to forget who he was, and he’d even done a quick selfie – in front of her car – so that his face came up, too.

Cheeky bastard.

“Hello?”

“Ellie?”

His voice could give Cal’s a run for the money. “Cruz! You made it back to the party okay, I take it?’

“Yes, I did, but it wasn’t really a party for me. It was work.”

“And did Cal dock your pay for the time you were with me?”

That got her a laugh. “No, he didn’t.”

“I’m surprised. Did he beat you up?”

Another chuckle. “No, he didn’t.” He carefully didn’t mention that they had very nearly come to blows over her, and that he wasn’t quite sure why, except that the big man must’ve had some sort of residual feelings for her – besides the obvious hate – that made him jealous of Cruz.

Neither of them said what was on their minds about the situation – that he had told them, for unknown reasons, that they were not to see each other. Of course they had both told him off, too.

“How’s the ankle feeling?”

“About the same – no better, no worse. I’m staying in bed today, trying to keep off it as much as possible. Gotta go to work tomorrow regardless.”

“What do you do?”

“I teach school.”

There was a long pause. “Um, it’s summer. Isn’t school out?”

“You never heard of summer school?”

His laugh was awfully close to a giggle, which was highly unusual for a man his size and made her laugh, too. “Oh, yeah, well, I am intimately acquainted with summer school, actually.”

“Oh yeah?”

“I don’t think I ever got a full vacation. I was always having to make something up in summer school.”

“And until I became a teacher, I had never been to summer school.”

“Lemme guess, you were a straight A student, teacher’s pet, honor roll, all that crap?”

“Guilty of all that crap and worse. Science Club. Debate Club. Need I go on?”

“You were a nerd!”

“Hell, I still
am
a nerd!”

They had a great chat, and near the end, he asked, “So, would you be interested in going out with me some time?”

“Definitely!” And she wasn’t kidding, wasn’t having to work up interest or pretend because she felt obligated to him for how nicely he’d treated her. She really
was
interested in him. At this moment, with the morning after regrets she was facing, she was interested in pretty much anyone who wasn’t Cal.

But Cruz was more than that.

“But I reserve the right to cancel, though, if my ankle isn’t feeling up to snuff.”

Another long pause, but this one she wasn’t expecting. “If your ankle isn’t well enough to go out with me by Friday, that means you should have gone to the ER, like, yesterday, when I suggested it to you.”

Damn, she didn’t need two men in her life that talked to her in that tone of voice! Well, Cal really wasn’t ‘in her life’. He’d just wreaked havoc and left, not that she let herself off the hook for having been the impetus for their little mistake of a dalliance yesterday.

“Yes, well...”

“No ‘yes, well’, Ellie. If your ankle is hurting that badly, then you need to see a doctor.”

“I can’t afford to miss work—”

She heard him clear his throat. “Do I need to come over there and take you to the ER myself?”

Ellie swallowed so hard at this dominant tone that she hoped he didn’t hear it. “No, I told you, my ankle isn’t bothering me that badly. I just don’t know what it’s going to be like after I’ve been on my feet all day, every day, for five days, and I wanted to let you know that it might be a reason why I’d cancel.”

“All right,” he agreed grudgingly. “It goes against my better judgment, but I suppose I won’t storm over there and take you to the vet— uh, the doctor’s—”

But it was too late to recover from that one – at least she didn’t sound mad, though. She was, in fact, laughing so hard she was practically howling. “Oh, man, if you hadn’t been so nice to me yesterday you’d be in some deep shit, even if that was a slip of the tongue. As it is, I think we’re now on an even playing field, even if I’m
not
feeling particularly insulted.”

“Oh, it was definitely a mistake. I’m sorry. I was thinking about needing to make an appointment for my dog at the vet, but I called you first. I am so sorry.’

“Please. If my ego is that delicate then you should start running in the other direction
now
.”

“Well, I’ve known plenty of girls who would have held that over my head for quite some time—”

“Who said I’m not going to?” she asked innocently, and got him to laugh.

“So, Friday?”

“Yes, barring, as I mentioned, complications.”

He rang off then, and it wasn’t until much later, around ten or so, that she got her last call – and she didn’t even need to look to see who it was. She had a bet going with herself and she was right.

“Good evening, Cal.”

“Good evening, Elise.”

Her name on his lips sounded like something at once both vulgar and angelic. It already had her shifting against her pillows, as if his fingers were between her legs, where she ought not to want them, but she most definitely did.

“How’s the ankle?”

“About the same, thank you, but at least it’s no worse. I’ve stayed off it as much as possible all day.”

“That’s a good idea.”

He certainly wouldn’t mention it to her, but as he’d left her place last night, he’d had to fight himself not to want to bring her back home with him, and he realized how stupid that sounded even in his head since he’d thrown her out of his place only hours earlier, but sometimes he couldn’t control his impulses, and this was one of those times.

Making love with her had stirred up all those feelings he should have known better than to feel, and he found himself more conflicted than he wanted to be; about her and most of all, about what he’d done to her – now
and
then.

He shouldn’t even have called her, but the numbers seemed to dial themselves and then he heard her voice and it did the same damned thing to him as it had always done – brought him to a full, painful erection that had little chance of receding any time soon. Unless she’d agree to phone sex, and he highly doubted that.

“So, you called because…” she prompted, wondering what the real reason was, whatever one it was that he made up to give her.

“I just wanted to check on you.”

“Uh huh. Well, you’ve done so. Good night, Cal.”
You fucking bastard. Now I’ll go to sleep thinking of you,
she thought.

He paused, and she thought he was going to say something else, but he apparently thought better of it. “Good night, Ellie. Sleep well.”
But not as well as you would have if I’d fucked you ‘til you screamed, like I want to. Like I know I shouldn’t want to, but I do,
he thought, sighing as he took a long pull on his scotch. He’d thought he’d succeeded in keeping her out of his life – out of his overeager, overactive mind.

And he’d done a reasonable job of it, too. She rarely came to mind... during the day, anyway. He kept himself busy enough that it wasn’t much of a problem, if at all. No, it was the nights when she visited him – even this many years later – in his dreams. He’d wake up sweating, the sheets tangled around his ankles, thrusting his yearning, straining erection at nothing, not even able to complete the wet dream and cum for lack of her, until he closed his own fist around himself and let fly with the fantasies, which were really just rehashing of what had been their life together.

Which, until its tragic end, had been pretty damned near perfect, as far as he was concerned. With one, what he had started out thinking was small, exception that ended up being a very big one.

“Put me down, Cal! What are you, out of your mind?” Ellie fairly screeched at her boyfriend, Cal, who had lifted her not into his arms, as would have been nicely romantic, but rather he’d flung over his shoulder, so that her butt faced front; her long hair cascading down his back and into her face, rendered her largely blind as well as helpless against his strength. Especially when she did the only thing that she could do in that situation, and began to kick her legs – and his big, broad palm landed on her bottom with a resounding smack.

“Yeow! Stop that! Put me down!”

“You’re issuing quite a few orders for someone so small who’s supposedly a submissive.”

If her face weren’t already flaming red, it would have been after that, especially since she guessed that he had a point. Since he had discovered – guessed, more so than anything else – her secret, he had been gently teasing and testing her about it. Ellie guessed that she was failing this one with flying colors. “McCallum Forsythe Jennings! Do as you’re told and put me the fuck down!”

All she got for her efforts were more swats, but then she was still kicking, too, as well as issuing even more invectives against him and his ancestry for quite a few years back.

By the time he did put her down – over the back of his couch in his apartment, where she’d flatly refused to walk, which was what had prompted him to carry her in there in the first place – her bottom was already quite sore. But he didn’t seem to worry about that in the least as he held her in place with frightening ease simply by putting one of those platter sized hands on the small of her back.

“CAL!” she squealed, the sound delightful – if slightly painful – to his ears. She was always so blasted self-possessed, so smart and articulate and put together – which was one of the reasons he’d been drawn to her in the first place – that he just wanted to see her put off kilter a bit. And he knew just the method of achieving it – one that she, herself, had confessed a while ago, as he was gently probing into what she found arousing about submission as well as other things that she found very intriguing.

One that he found at least as interesting as she did – probably much more, because he’d bet he’d had much more experience at it than she did. The more he got to know her, the more he wanted her. She was a heady combination of dirty innocence that got him harder than he’d ever been in his life.

She was a virgin, at twenty-five, and she’d confessed as much to him on their first date, upfront, before the appetizers came, guaranteeing that he spent the rest of the date adjusting himself occasionally, hopefully unobtrusively, trying to find room for his erection in his tight jeans.

She’d also told him that, if it bothered him that she wasn’t going to sleep with him on that date, or any other date, until – or
if
, she’d said very pointedly – she began to feel comfortable with him, and preferably develop some feelings for him, then they could both go home right now. She didn’t intend to throw her first experience away, she’d said, on someone who wouldn’t appreciate that she’d valued herself enough, knew herself well enough, to wait for the right person.

He’d leaned forward and raised an eyebrow at her, then leaned back so that the waitress could put their chili cheese fries on the table between them. He hadn’t answered her immediately, asking instead, “And how many times have you been left high and dry in a restaurant because the guy wasn’t willing to wait?”

Ellie had smiled wryly and sighed, but she didn’t seem at all put out about it – more philosophical, if anything. “More times than I would like to think. The fact that I won’t put out on the first date is probably why I’m still a virgin.” She shrugged. “Their loss.”

He was inclined to agree, giving her a thorough once over. She was just this side of chubby – not really fat, just possessing curves that had his palms itching to explore them. He liked a girl who bucked the trends – especially the one to be rail thin – who knew herself well enough to stick to her guns about something – especially something as hard to resist as sex. But then, she really didn’t know what she was missing – literally.

Cal took a fry from the basket and eyed her thoughtfully. “I’m still here.”

“Well, that’s refreshing. But are you just planning to wrestle me in the car later, hoping to change my mind?”

Jealousy flared in a way it never had before for him, and guilt wasn’t that far behind it, because he’d been that guy, trying to get a girl to acquiesce to what he wanted. He’d never felt ashamed about it, until now. The idea that she’d had to physically fight off guys who, as he had, only had one thing on their mind, nearly made him physically ill, and had him asking her something he’d never considered asking anyone else.

“No, I can promise you that I will not do that to you. But I do want something else from you.”

She looked understandably wary. “What?”

“I know that this is our first date,” he said, taking her hand in his, “and I’m on board with waiting until you feel comfortable taking it to the next level. But I want to be the only guy you date.”