True Heroes (56 page)

              “You shouldn’t have to live up to their expectations. Be you.”

              “Being me isn’t good enough anymore.” Caleb looked down to her eyes. “I pretended to be someone great when I was younger, but apparently someone saw through me and decided I could actually live up to what I was hiding behind.” She turned her look upside down and exuberated admiration and a careful smile. “What do you think?”

              “About your past?”

              “About what I can do in the future?”

              “I don’t know you too well yet.”

              He wiggled the paper in her face.

              She smiled and took the paper into her hands. “Fine. All right, the truth? You see the truth in everything, I thought?”

              “I try to, but the absolute truth is elusive. That has to be the truth that he meant, and if so, I can’t see it everywhere yet.”

              “Well, why are you here, going with us tonight?”

              “That’s an easy truth.” He held his hands out close to her hips. “Do you think that’s an absolute truth?”

              One of her hands held his at bay. “What reason?”

              “Not that reason. I’m not going for the candy, or the other group members, or the nice night air. I’m going for you.”

              “But not for sex?”

              “No, not even close.”

              “Because touching me is warm?”

              He smiled. “No, I’m on Angela’s side. There’s something electric about the air around you. That’s all I want is to be in that proximity.”

              She smiled. “What if I want you to hold my hand?”

              “Do you want me to?”

              “That’s…all I’ve ever done.”

              “You’ve held a lot of hands?”

              “Some, not really a lot.”

              “Why? For the warmth?”

              “Because it made them happy.”

              “So you’re asking me these questions to make me happy?”

              “No,” she took a quick breath and snatched up his hand, “this is something more than happy, but less too, you know?”

              “That seems to be where the truth is, then.”

              “You think?”

              “I do, but I still can’t comprehend it just yet.” Two slow, quiet knocks straightened their bodies. ‘We were leaning together…so strange.’ “I’m going to get changed.”

              “Leave the wings. I’ll fix them up a bit.”

              Caleb nodded his head before walking towards the back of the apartment. He glanced into her room—‘Neat and customized, colored walls behind the many face shots,’—before turning sharply for the small bathroom. Power left the door open a crack as he took his grey shirt off and laid it on the closed toilet. His pasted skin stretched well over his organ’s exoskeletal, muscular cage. ‘I used to look at myself like this.’

              ‘Because you’re a narcissist.’

              ‘I just looked. I studied.’ Caleb let power seep from his joints. ‘I used to be amazed at how nothing changed no matter how much of you I let out into the air.’

              Caleb flexed and watched his world bathe in blue before twisting his arm, noticing his power’s devout interest in the small movements. He looked past himself in the mirror. ‘She has blue waves on the walls, and in the shower.’ Power looked through his own entity as Caleb looked as well. ‘The splash decal above the toilet is cute too.’

              ‘Cute?’

              ‘Everything she does is…I’m becoming predictable.’

              ‘You’ve always been predictable.’

              ‘No, I mean my wall. It’s predictable. I’ve got to be…like I was.’

              ‘Yes, from a mentally handicapped narcissist to dating a mentally handicapped optimist. I’m sure there’s symmetry somewhere in there.’

              ‘I’m never sure of myself around her.’

              ‘Maybe I gave off the wrong impression, but I do not care. You have two months left. Use them as you see fit.’

              ‘Better to be a coward in your eyes?’

              ‘Oh, you’re no coward.’

              ‘I was talking about you. You’re being cowardly.’

              ‘You don’t want to have this conversation in a cramped apartment bathroom.’

              The shirt finally slipped over his head. ‘You’re afraid of me knowing that you care. She’s made you care a little.’

              ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’

              There was a light tap on the door before it opened as Caleb adjusted the shirt to cover his stomach. Joy’s head popped into the room accompanied by a gangly hand. “Sorry I didn’t know who was in here.”

              “It's okay; I’m done now.”

              The door opened wide enough for Caleb to slip uncomfortably close to her as he exited. ‘She’s smiling that frozen smile again.’ He shook his power away as he walked closer to the slightly buzzing living room.

              “Hey. In here.” Caleb turned and saw Alice waving from her room. He entered, and saw his wings on her bed; the bare side was now covered with an array of pink, green, and yellow boas that twirled around the plastic hanger and allowed both ends to dangle carelessly. He looked at it with his head cocked. “What do you think? Good job cleaning it, by the way, where’d you get it?”

              “A trashcan across the river, but yeah I cleaned it up pretty well. And…colorful.” She smiled and laughed as he picked it up and carefully threw it on his shoulders. The simple harness fit snuggly and blended discretely with his black shirt. “I would ask for something scary for my face, but the colors off-set that.”

              “You look like a bat with a color problem.”

              “Or one with a transvestite caught in my wing.”

              She laughed loudly while Caleb smiled down at her. From the doorway, Joy smiled and cackled a little to herself. “Looks good,” she said, breaking Caleb and Alice from one another, but not their smiles. “You might get a lot of looks at orientation tonight with that.”

              “Oh, David set you up for tonight?”

              “Yeah, both of us.” Caleb looked between Alice and Joy. “And I’m hoping I’ll get to fly there in style in these things.”

              They all smiled again, Joy staring uncomfortably at Caleb still. ‘I thought you enjoyed people staring at you?’

              ‘It’s different when she does it.’

              “What are you going to be, Joy?”

              She averted her eyes to Alice, becoming more pointed and assertive with the shift in attention. “Cat woman. I’ve got to change.”

              With that, she disappeared into the bathroom as Alice and Caleb made for the living room. It wasn’t long before the small group was reconvened: ‘A cat, a pumpkin, the sun and the moon, a…Shakespeare? And Alice, the fairy godmother.’ Joy, Stewart, Angela and Christopher, and Benny piled out onto the streets ahead of Caleb and Alice. They all chattered quietly together as Caleb followed the fairy woman down the street to start the truck. “My wings won’t be fitting in there. I’ll keep everyone safe in the back.”

              “They won’t need to be safe, dude, we’re going trick-or-treating.”

              “Never know. It’s good comet weather.”

              The brush of her hand against his fabric arm didn’t go unnoticed as he let down the gate and gently climbed into the bed. Wheels rolled over seventeen times before they stopped again. Joy, Stewart, and the couple piled in with Caleb while Benny sang a poetic verse before entering the cab. Joy sat noticeably close to Caleb while everyone else found a wall of the four-by-four to lean against. Alice drove slowly as the business district rolled by quickly. Caleb allowed his power to carefully sneak around to the front, his closed eyes allowing his security blanket in front to serve as a visual range from infinite angles along the forward plane. He observed small children as they carelessly ran across the street in costumes only ever visible in direct light, and the patterned illumination of porch light after porch light on either side of the street.

              The brakes chirped next to a curb and everyone slowly spilled out. ‘A few of them are on the verge of a nervous break-down.’

              ‘That’s what happens when you go from an abandoned gym to the wide open streets.’

              Caleb stepped into the unofficial middle of the group as Alice passed around plastic bags. “These are for candy, not vomiting people. Treat this just like softball: deep breathes, happy smiles, and try to look up. Don’t worry about that last one too much.”

              A few of them nervously chuckled while the rest fiddled with their bags and costumes. Alice kept a bag for herself while not handing Caleb one. She walked closer to him and played with his wings as they walked. “We’ll share a bag.”

              “I don’t get my own?”

              They exchanged a look. “Would you rather have your own?”

              He intentionally bumped into her before putting his right arm around her shoulder. “I think this might be a little better than a few handfuls of candy.”

              She laughed sweetly. Her clothes had transformed into a wrapping costume that showed her rounded, small shoulders above a light blue dress that quickly hugged into her hips. From there, it exploded out and into a dainty hula skirt. He studied this and her plastic tiara. ‘So suited.’ “The feathers tickle my back. They’re warm though. You’re warm too.”

              “Where are we going first, lovebirds?”

              Caleb whirled to his left side and saw Joy looking up to him with a large smile. He awkwardly smiled back to her. “Pick a side of the street and let’s see what we can pick up.”

              They wandered from house to house, drawing awkward stares as a group and individually. Their bags were filled little by little from smiling older ladies and dressed-up couples with smaller children picking their favorite candies from large bowls. Everyone stayed in line as they walked up five blocks and down six blocks: ‘Alice always under the feathery side, Joy constantly on the other. Why does she walk so close to me?’

              ‘She’s an antonym for her name.’

              ‘What do you mean?’

              ‘You spent years in an asylum. You know the look of a deranged person.’

              ‘She’s not deranged.’

              ‘Your evidence?’

              ‘Just being as openly intuitive as you are.’

              ‘You’ll see.’

              Joy ran up behind everyone else as they approached one of the final houses. Alice anchored his hand on the main sidewalk. “Alone time?”

              He looked back towards the group as they tentatively walked forward. “What’s been on your mind?”

              “I read faces. Don’t try to copy me. You were thinking heavy not a second before.”

              “I was…having a thought conversation with my roommate.”

              She smiled. “I know what he wants.”

              “Yeah, me too. That’s why I’m still not sleeping a lot.”

              “No. He wants that, I mean, but he really, really wants something else. Did you know that?”

              “No.”

              ‘Shut her up or I will.’

              Caleb held firm as his power began to manifest itself. “He wants you to suffer. Since you blame yourself for…Carol, well he naturally blames you too. You hate yourself from two different angles.”

              Caleb looked down and dropped her hand. “I should be hated from all angles.”

              Alice stepped under his lowered chin. “No you shouldn’t be. Why would anybody hate you?”

              “Because I failed her so hard.”

              She stepped back as the group rejoined them. They walked quietly as a group for twenty feet until they turned and walked up the last walk. Alice came close again. “What do you look for in a girl?”

              “A girl I date?”

              “Yeah what attracted you to Carol?”

              “She was smart, funny, and had pretty eyes.”

              “That’s it? That’s as strict as you can get?”

              “That’s what I saw in her. She wasn’t particularly strong or sweet. I was swept up into her sometimes, but I took her image and distorted it. Are you asking what I see in you?”

              “No, but you could tell me.”

              Caleb managed a smile. “Eh, I won’t tell you that quite yet.” She didn’t pout but waited patiently for him to continue. “I had a lot of time to re-evaluate when I was watching after her. A big part of me thinks I should never be with a girl because I’m too dangerous, but the most important parts of my soul need someone to connect with right now, and she seems to be a female.” She smiled at him as he took her hand. “Someone that believes in the semblance of right and wrong, the importance of strength, and the infallible relationship between love and life. That’d be quite a girl.”