Twist of Fate (4 page)

"That's disgusting. I won't use it. It was a joke, it's just Mac's twisted sense of humor."

He stood, grabbing my shoulders."If she comes out for a visit. I want to meet this girl."

I could feel myself blushing, so I turned away to face the window, looking out to the courtyard. I pulled it back out of the drawer, tossing it in the garbage. I could hear him laughing behind me as I did. "C'mon, P. I was just teasing. Let's go do something. It's not too hot out, we can go grab a beer or something. Sit outside."

I still hadn't turned to look at him. I shook him off. "I have so much studying to do. Can I take a rain check?"

A few seconds went by, and I heard him shuffle closer to me. "Sure. Give me a call." He kissed the back of my head, then the definitive sound of the door shutting came next, and I knew he was gone.
 

"I am going to get you for this.
" I immediately typed into my phone, sending off a quick text to Mackenzie. Ten minutes later, and two pages into studying I got a ding. "
Guess you got your present. Enjoy!"

The whole vibrator situation came from her and I spending an entire night discussing orgasms. Apparently, she could get off just thinking about sex, while I wasn't quite sure if I even ever had one. I'd had sex with two people. The first was my freshman year of college.
 
I was so nervous, and it was over in a matter of minutes, but we dated for a bit. The second guy, Carson, never really cared about getting me excited. If he got off, that was all that mattered. So, Mackenzie always told me to buy one, so I could find my G spot. Never in a million years would I had taken her so seriously. And, thanks to her, Ben would probably picture that thing every time he looked at me, wondering if I was giving the All American whopper my full attention.

A few hours later I thought about texting Ben to go with me for dinner, but instead I headed to the great room in the dorms to hang out with a few other residents. I'd met some, but only Ellie and a girl from her acting class named Caroline, and I had hit it off. It was still early, and uncharacteristically quiet, so I headed back to my room to grab my laundry. The one great thing about the laundry rooms was the space, and the fact that they were free. You just needed to bring the soap. I was folding some shirts, and pulling out a few dresses to hang dry when my phone chirped. "Hey, I was going to call you earlier," I answered, seeing Ben's name pop up.

"Listen, I was thinking about hitting downtown. You in?"

"What's downtown?"

"You have I.D.?"

"Yeah, but I'm not sure it's any good."

"Dress up, we're going dancing. I'll be there in twenty."

Before I had a chance to even answer him, the phone went dead, and my heart rate skyrocketed.
 
I gathered my things, running through the halls, and slipped into the bathroom. My face was a mess, my make-up looked like hell, and my hair seemed greasy. Quickly I ran a brush through it, braiding it down the side of my neck, lacing the feathers I had put in before I got here in between. I wiped off any residual make-up, then reapplied it. I was just about to open the closet, when Ellie came strolling in. "Where's the fire?"

"I'm going dancing with Ben."

She flopped down on my bed. "You are so lucky. I'm telling you that boy likes you."

"We're just friends."

"Mmmhmm, keep telling yourself that."

I slipped into one of my more flirtier sundresses when my phone dinged. "
Downstairs. Can't get in
," the text read. "
Be down in two,
" I texted back.
 
I slipped into a pair of silver heels, smiling at my polished toes and the little crystals decorating them.
 

"Don't wait up," I called over my shoulder to Ellie who was smirking.

I ran down the two flights of stairs, excited, nervous, and then suddenly, I was sweating. What was this night? Was this a date? Was this just two friends hanging out? What were his intentions? Was I doing the right thing? Should I have faked a sudden sickness? But, then I saw him smiling through the front door, and a sudden feeling of ease took over. I looked down one last time nervously at my toes, then pushed through the door.
 

He held out my hand, spinning me around. "Hot damn! Look at you. I'm going to be fighting dudes off all night."

"This is nothing." I leaned into his ear, whispering, "You should see what's underneath," I joked. Then I realized when his mouth hung wide open that not only was he surprised, but now he was doing what I just told him. He was imagining what's underneath. I hit him hard in the chest. "Knock it off. I was just kidding." But, I wasn't. One of the things I loved about being a girl was the undergarments. I always matched, and I always made sure they were drop dead sexy when I was doing something special. Not because I wanted anyone to see them, they were more for me. I liked the way they made me feel.

He took me to this little honky tonk downtown that quite frankly was a little scary from the outside, but changed once we entered. The place was packed with people. The lights were blinding as we stepped in closer to the bar that saddled right next to the dance floor. After his third beer, and a shot of Cuervo, he grabbed my hand. "Let's dance."

He surprised me as he led me to the dance floor, moving his hips to the beat. I slowly matched his rhythm, and we started to move in sync. After two songs, the room was spinning. We were both sweating from the hot lights beaming down from the ceiling. He grabbed me closer, and I let him pull me in. He studied my face, my lips, and I thought he was going to kiss me, but then he lifted my hand in the air, twirling me instead. He pulled me back in, but this time my back was to him, his hand around my waist, and I was pressing myself up against him.
 

His warm hands slid down my hips from behind me. His hands guiding me along with the music. I felt so stupid as my stomach flip-flopped at his touch. His chest pressed up against my back, rocking me side to side. God, this boy knew how to move. I let myself get lost in the rhythm of the music, not wanting to fight how good this felt. His right hand disappeared from my hip, and I wanted to grab it to place it back, until I felt his fingers gathering my hair, pushing it over my shoulder.

The tip of his nose moved softly down my neck, until I felt his lips gliding gently from one shoulder to the other. I thought I was going to combust right there. We were moving together, his hands firmly gripping my hips, until I felt him press closer. His hands pulled away, slowly running them up and down my arms. I was losing all my self-control. I knew it, and worse, he knew it.

I raised my hands in the air, sliding up and down the front of him. When I turned back around his face was soft, but serious. He ran his hand through his hair, sighing, then grabbed my hand, leading me back to our table. He handed me my beer. "You sure know how to dance. Don't pull that shit on just anyone, P. Guys will take advantage."

What the?

That was what I was trying to do. I was trying to send a message. One that he apparently didn't want to pay any attention to. I felt so foolish that I just wanted to leave. I looked down at my watch. After giving it some thought, I yelled over the music, "Can you take me home? I don't feel so well." And, I wasn't lying. I didn't feel well. I felt like shit. I honestly thought he brought me dancing alone because he wanted this just as much as I did. But, I guess you couldn't change what was unchangeable.

Once back at Pima Hall, Ben pulled up curbside. "Thanks for the dance," I told him ready to jump out, but his face was pained like he wanted to tell me something, so I thought maybe I was wrong. Maybe, he was just scared.

His hands were tightly wrapped around the steering wheel, white knuckles and all. Without looking at me, he answered, "No problem. I'll just see you some other time."

"Did you want to come up? We could hang out?"

I could tell even without him looking at me when he shut his eyes, he had started debating back and forth. Then a moment later, he turned to me. "Not tonight, Paige. I gotta get back."

"Okay," I whispered, disappointed. I leaned over to kiss his cheek, and when I did, he pulled me to him. He buried his head into the crook of my neck, and whispered, "Good night, Paige." I swore I could hear something in his voice, but I refused to beg.

Even as I was swiping my CAT card, I still couldn't believe it. And, as I watched his tail lights pull away, I swallowed hard, knowing that he only wanted to be friends.

BEN

Chapter 5

Tommy came strolling into our room the next day pissed off. He threw his longboard down, and flopped onto his bed without as much as a word.
 

"What's up, bro?" I asked.

"Nothing I want to talk about," he grumbled.

"Alright, man. I got class in thirty, so, I'll be back later."

"Wait!" Tommy sat up on his elbows. "I'm hearing some rumors that you were out with my little cousin last night, bro."

"So what? We're friends."

"I also heard you're losing your swag."

My hand was on the door, and I was dying to just bolt, to hide the feelings I had toward Paige. "Pff, who told you that shit?"

He cracked open a beer from the mini fridge."Jack says you haven't brought anyone home in over two weeks." He took a long swig, then eyed me. "What's up with that?"

"What? Can't a guy have a bad streak once in a while."
He kicked off his shoes, then stood up, staring me down."You never have a bad streak unless you want them." He eyed me up and down from his bed.
 
"Let me guess, Paige?"

I stepped back into the room. "What about Paige?"

"Dude, tell me this isn't Mission Beach all over again?"

"Tommy you were totally fine with it back then. Besides, nothing's happening."

"Yeah, I was, and I'd be fine now, as long as you don't play her like you play everybody else. You know she's my cousin, and she's cool as shit." He grabbed his pillow, and threw it at me. "Second thought, maybe you shouldn't."

"I never said I liked her."

"You don't need to. We've known each other since kindergarten. You think I don't know when your lying to me?"

"I didn't mean for it. Jesus, I can't do this." I dragged my hand through my hair. "It took everything for me to leave her last night. She wanted me to stay, but that damn voice inside my head held me back. She's gonna rip me to shreds. I'm in too deep already." I grabbed a beer, chugging it back, imagining all the ways Paige Pearce could destroy me. "You're right, I'm backing off. Keep her away from me for a little while."
 

"She's here all the time. How are you going to avoid her?" Tommy asked with disbelief in his voice that I could pull it off.
"Just call me when she's coming over. I'll bail."

He turned the T.V. on, avoiding my eyes. "Whatever you say, Benny." He looked up at me.
 
"Hey, I thought you had class?"

I tossed my beer in the garbage can, then grabbed my bag, and hauled ass to my engineering class. I was supposed to be there early to talk to my professor. I was trying to get into this ridiculous class next semester, and you needed permission from your previous professor to get in. He was my only shot of taking my studies up a notch, and getting into that chemical and environmental engineering class.

***

It had been almost two full weeks since I went dancing with Paige. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. I even forced myself to hook up at one of our parties to save face. I didn't even remember the girl's name I was so hammered. I wan't sure if it was for my brothers, or for me, but I did it to prove a point.
 
I was not in love with Paige Pearce. No way. No how.

She texted me a couple times, but I would either blow them off, or make up some lie and tell her I was busy. I hated doing it, especially when the last one came in apologizing for that night at the honky tonk. Like she had something to feel sorry for. I was the asshole that chickened out, who walked away. She was handing herself over on a silver fucking plate, and I let her walk away like she didn't matter.

It was late, and I was sitting on my beanbag, watching an awesome cage fight on T.V, trying to bide my time before my date, when the door to my room flew open. Tommy, and Paige were laughing their asses off about something, and as soon as I saw that smile, I got that damn feeling in the pit of my stomach, and somewhere a little more south.
 

"I thought I told you to call me, Tommy," I said through clenched teeth.

We exchanged knowing looks for a few seconds. "Oh, yeah, shit! Sorry, I forgot."

I rolled my eyes, got up and stormed over to the mini fridge to grab another beer.

Paige looked to him all wide eyed and innocent as hell. "Why do you need to call him before you come home?"

"Oh, it's nothing. It's just...I forgot to tell him something earlier."

Paige walked over to me instantly pulling me in for one her famous bear hugs. It amazed me how she could always pull me out of whatever asshole mood I was in just with one hug. Then she smiled.
 
"I haven't seen you in a few weeks. Come hang out. Tommy and I are heading to Mickey D's."