UN-RELATED (UN-RELATED SERIES) (14 page)

“I haven’t even left yet and you’re planning my next trip.”

“I can’t help it.”

“I’ve been thinking about taking the summer off of school. I’ve been going straight through for over two years now. I’m tired, and I need a break. I think I’ll come home for the summer.”

I stood up and ran to him, hugging him tight. “You mean it?” I asked, forcing myself to not jump for joy prematurely.

“Yeah. I think you need me.”

“I’ve always needed you.” I couldn’t believe I was saying this, but I said, “But, don’t come home because you think I need you. Come home because you want to.”

He looked down at me and said, “I do want to…” he closed his eyes and said, “I shouldn’t, but I do.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m saying, Abby. Why don’t you get dressed and we’ll go to the swap meet, okay?”

“Okay. I need to grab a quick shower. Why don’t you bring in your bags?” I said, making sure he was going to stay with me.

“I already did. I showered an hour ago. My old rooms a gym now?” he grinned.

“Oh, yeah, not that they’re ever here to use it. You can stay in my room. It’ll be just like old times,” I smiled.

“I don’t think I can sleep in the same bed with you…now. I think you’re a bit too old to be sneaking into bed with me after a scary dream.”

“I only have nightmares when you’re gone. But, I don’t snore anymore. At least, I haven’t heard myself snore,” I grinned.

“I’ll sleep on the couch.”

That’s not what I wanted, but it was way better than him going to a hotel. I didn’t want to miss a single second with him.   

I jumped in the shower and started singing, thrilled that not only did I have him all to myself for a whole week, but also that he’d be back in two months…for the whole summer! I looked up to thank God for my good fortune and saw a cockroach on the ceiling of the shower. I hate cockroaches! I screamed and ran out of the shower. I grabbed my towel and headed into the hallway in a panic.

“Abby, what’s wrong?” Kellan said, and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me half-naked and soaking wet in the hallway, clutching my towel in front of me.

“There’s a cockroach in the shower! Please go…”

“Okay, okay. Just, go get dressed!” he said, refusing to look at me.

“I have to finish my shower. I’m still all soapy! Just kill it, please!” I said in a panic.

He glanced at me and then quickly turned away. He closed his eyes and shook his head, evidently trying to get the image of me standing there half-naked out of his mind. It was at that moment that I learned I had a special power over him. I thought about dropping my towel, but figured that would push him over the top, so I just stood there and waited for him to tell me the coast was clear, and he had disposed of…that
thing
!

“Okay, you’re safe now.” 

He walked by me without as much as a single glance. I smiled at the new power I seemed to have over him. “Kellan?”

He stopped, but didn’t turn around. “What?”

“Thank you,” I said and hugged him.

“Oh my God, Abby. Go get dressed!”

I just laughed at him and headed back to the shower. I knew he was watching me walk down the hallway, so I made it a point to drop my towel just enough to make my waist and the top of my hips visible. I knew I only had a week, so I realized that I had to make it count.

We had fun at the swap meet and I laughed at Kellan when he bought me two pairs of flannel pajamas.

“Those are going to be hot. I don’t need pajamas, I love wearing your old shirts.”

“You need the pajamas. Wear what you want when I’m not here, but as long as I’m staying with you…you’ll wear these!”

“Yes, sir,” I said with a mock salute.

“So, what do you do when you’re all alone and find a cockroach in the shower? I used to always kill them for you. I assumed you had outgrown that phobia, but I guess not.”

“Oh, I hate those things. They’re…gross! I usually just wait until it’s gone, or sometimes I grab my stuff and shower at
Tyler’s.”

“That’s probably not a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“It leaves too many things to chance.”

“Good heavens, do you equate everything with sex?”

“I told you, that’s all guys think about! Remember that!”

I just smiled and shook my head.

We had a great day. In fact, we had a wonderful week together. I had done my best to try to seduce Kellan…although I wasn’t quite sure what I was doing. But through all my efforts, he managed to resist all temptation and suddenly I only had two days left. I was almost out of time…

“So, what do you want to do tonight?” Kellan asked me after we cleaned up the dishes from a late lunch.

I knew what I wanted to do, but he wasn’t going to let that happen, so I thought about it for a minute and said, “We haven’t played chess in a long time.”

“Okay, get the board.”

I grabbed the chess set that Kellan had given me years earlier for Christmas and started to head into the living room. I turned around and looked at my room and had an idea. I set up the chess board on my bed, hoping to lure him to spend the night with me.

I slipped into one of his old t-shirts again and sat down to wait for him.

“Hey, are you coming?” he asked, poking his head into my room.             

“I set it up in here where the light’s better.”

“I think we should play in the living room.”

“Kellan, I’ve already set it up. Come on, sit down. We used to always play it in here.”

He sat on the edge of the bed and said, “You go first.”

I moved my first pawn and waited for his move. He quickly moved one of his pawns and then said, “What happened to your new pajamas?”

“I wore both pairs a couple times. They’re in the hamper.”

“Don’t you have anything else to wear?”

“I love these old shirts.’

“Abby, I told you, you can’t wear stuff like that around me now, or anyone else.”

“Kellan, if you still only think of me as your little sister, then what I wear really shouldn’t matter, should it?”

“Abby, don’t push it. Just put something else on.”

“Fine,” I said and jumped off of the bed. I rummaged through my drawers, but I couldn’t find anything Kellan would deem appropriate. I walked over to my closet and pulled it open and found a t-shirt and pair of sweat pants. I pulled on the pants under his shirt.

“What are you doing?” Kellan asked.

“You told me to put something else on,” I said, facing the closet and pulled his shirt off and put mine on.

“Abby, what the hell…?”

I turned around and said, “What?”

“Not here! If I wasn’t comfortable with you wearing that old t-shirt, why the hell would you get dressed in front of me?”

“I faced the closet. You didn’t see anything…that you haven’t seen before, anyway.”

“Yeah, well, you have a lot more to look at now. I hope you don’t do that in front of
Tyler,” he accused.

“She doesn’t!”
Tyler said, standing in my bedroom doorway.

“
Tyler, hi,” I said, suddenly feeling very guilty. I had pretty much put him out of my mind since Kellan was home. I realized I had conveniently forgotten that I had a boyfriend.

“I knocked, but you must have been…busy,” he said, looking very angry.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. Why do you find it so odd that you’re
boyfriend
stopped by to see you? Or did you forget you had a boyfriend?” he asked accusingly.

“No, of course not. I just wasn’t expecting you, that’s all.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”

Kellan stood up and said, “I’ll give you some privacy,” and started to walk out of my room, but stopped and said, “Um, actually, I’ll stay here, you and Tyler should go to the living room…to talk,” he said as more of a demand than suggestion.

Tyler stood up to Kellan for the first time and said, “I’m in here with her all the time. In fact, other than this last week, I’m
with
her all the time. But, suddenly big brother’s back and she doesn’t even remember to call me.”

“Was I supposed to?” I asked, stepping between them.

“I guess not. My mom was curious though, as to why my
girlfriend
missed my 18
th
birthday party.”

“Oh
Tyler, I’m so sorry. I…I completely forgot…” I closed my eyes, trying to come up with the right words, but realized there weren’t any. “I don’t know what to say,” I said and reached up to hug him.

He stepped back, refusing to hug me.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Kellan said. He stopped at the door and added, “Tyler, I’m sorry…I didn’t know it was your birthday.”

Tyler
refused to acknowledge or even look at him.

Kellan started to walk out and then said, “I’m not the enemy you think I am. Abby and I have been through a lot together. You have to understand…”

“I have to understand what?”

“That I’m a part of her life, whether you like it or not,” Kellan said.

“Well, I don’t like it. You’re only a part of her life when it’s convenient for you. Where the hell have you been for the last two years? You weren’t here…but
I
was. I’ve always been here for her.”               

“
Tyler, stop it! Kellan’s always been there for me…since I was ten years old.” I finally said, hearing enough.

“No, he should know! How many times are you going to break her heart?”

“That’s not my intention, it never was. I just wanted to see her…visit my…”

“Your what? She’s not your sister, so what is she to you?”

“Tyler STOP!” I said, angry at him now. And, even though I had forgotten his birthday and felt terrible about it, it was still no excuse for his behavior.

“Look, I don’t want to fight with you. Let’s not do this. I’m leaving in two days…”  Kellan offered, doing his best to keep his cool.

“Yeah, I know, and just who do you think is going to have to pick up the pieces…again?”

“Kellan, I need to talk to
Tyler for a minute, please,” I said, shaking with rage.

“There’s nothing to say. I love you, but I don’t deserve this,” he said, and started to walk out.

“You don’t deserve what? I haven’t done anything. I’m sorry I forgot your birthday…”

“You think I give a damn about my birthday?” he was pacing my room. 

Kellan said, “I’ll be in the living room, if you need me for
anything
.”

“You think
I’m
going to hurt her? You’re the only one that’s hurt her.”

Kellan quietly closed the door behind him, listening to
Tyler rant and rave about what a horrible big brother he’d been. He paced the living room, listening for any signs of trouble in Abby’s room, ready to pounce at any given moment.

“
Tyler, you need to stop this. You have no right coming over here and insulting Kellan like this. He hasn’t done anything wrong!”

“Then, just what has he done?” he accused.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re alone in your room with him. You changed your clothes in front of him. What the hell am I supposed to think?”

“Tyler, go home. I’ll see you in two days. I’m really sorry that I missed your birthday. I feel terrible. I do. If I could fix it, I would. I’ll make it up to you in a few days, okay?”

“Yeah, that’s right, I’m still playing second string to Kellan. Abby, when’s the game going to be over?”
             

“There’s no game. You know how I feel about him. I’ve never denied my feelings for him.”

“Gee, that makes me feel so much better.”

I stood directly in front of him and looked him in the eye, “He doesn’t want me Tyler…not like that.”

“Like what?”             

“The way…”

“The way what, Abby?” he pressed, getting angrier by the second.

“The way…you want me.”

“Don’t you mean, the way you want him?” he sneered.

“Does it matter?” I asked honestly, knowing it would hurt his feelings, but realizing that lying would be worse.

“It does to me,” he said softly and sat down on my bed.

“
Tyler, I really don’t know what you want me to say. We haven’t done anything wrong. He hasn’t touched me…if that’s what’s worrying you.”

“Tell me something, Abby. If he did try to touch you…make love to you, would you stop him?”

“I…Tyler…that’s not an issue,” I mumbled, desperately trying to avoid the answer to that very loaded question.

He slowly stood up and on shaky legs walked over to me and said, “I guess I have my answer again, don’t I?”

I touched his face gently and whispered, “I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t lie to you, either. I love him, I always have.” The tears were starting two days early. I hadn’t planned on crying until Kellan’s plane took off.

“May I please have one last kiss? And then I’ll let you go.”

“What do you mean, you’ll let me go?”

“I can’t win against him. No matter what I do, or how hard I try, I’ll never be more than the runner up. I’m letting you go, even though it’s going to kill me.”

“Tyler…please, you’re talking crazy. Nothing’s changed. It’s not a competition. He doesn’t want me.”

“You’re wrong about that, Abby. I’ve seen how he looks at you now. He may not be ready to admit it, but he loves you.”
             

“That’s not true.”

He ignored me and continued, “And, you’re right, there’s no competition, not anymore. I may have stood a chance before…before he came home and saw what a perfect young woman you’ve grown into. Now he holds all the cards. Hell, he always has.”

There were tears in his eyes, and as I looked into them, I saw the pain I had seen reflected in my own eyes…the pain I’d feel again in two days. I knew he was right, that I’d never love him like I loved Kellan, but I didn’t want him to suffer that pain, so I reached up and did the only thing I could think of; I kissed him, passionately.

He pulled back after a few seconds, “Abby…”

“I’ve never kissed him…not like that, and I never will. I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true.”

“That doesn’t change anything.”

“He’s not the only man I love, whether you believe it or not.”

“I know you love me, Abby. But, it’s not enough. Have you thought about me even once since he’s been home?”

“Of course.”

“But, you didn’t think to pick up the phone to see if I was alright? Don’t you know how much his being here is killing me?”

“I’m sorry,
Tyler. I guess I didn’t think about how much this would affect you. I swear I’ll make it up to you.”

“How?” he asked.

“I don’t know. But I will, somehow.”

“You said that you love me…”

“I do.”

“Then show me. We’ve been dating for a year now. I’ve been patient. Spend your last two days with Kellan, and then, if you really love me, show me. Spend the night with me.”

“Tyler…” I was scared. I didn’t want to lose Tyler, but I wanted Kellan, more. I loved Tyler, I did. I knew I did; but, not like that. I had dug myself into a hole and I couldn’t think of any other way out, so I finally gave in and whispered, “Okay.”

“You mean that? You know what I’m asking for, right?”

“Yes.” I swallowed hard.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” he asked, after backing me into a corner.

“No, I’m not sure, but I’ll try. I know you’ve been patient.”

He kissed me and said, “I love you, Abby. I’ll make sure it’s special, okay?”

I nodded.

“Um, I know you tell Kellan pretty much everything, but maybe we should keep this between the two of us. I’ve kind of grown fond of my limbs, and I’m pretty sure I know which one he’d start with if he knew,” he grinned for the first time that night.

“Yeah, okay,” I mumbled, not really listening.

“Are you okay?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” My head was reeling.

He sighed and sat down on the edge of my bed, “Abby, you don’t have to do this,” he said, thinking it over. “Oh, God, I’m sorry. I had no right to ask you…I was just so jealous. I guess I just needed to know that I’ll be your first…and only. We’ll wait, okay?” he stood up and stroked my cheek.

I couldn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth, I was just offered a reprieve and I blew it: “No, I want to. Really. You’re right, it’s time.”

“You’re sure about this?” he asked, the light returning to his eyes.

“Yes, I’m sure…”

He picked me up and hugged me to him, “Thank you! You’ve made me the happiest man alive.”

Tyler
apologized to Kellan and I walked him to the door. He made it a point to kiss me hard in front of Kellan. The point didn’t go unnoticed by either of us. I didn’t have to feel guilty about thinking about Kellan during that kiss, because Tyler was the only one on my mind at that moment. As he pulled me close, I knew that in two days, not only was the love of my life leaving me again, but I was going to have to give my virginity to a man I loved more like a brother. Now that’s irony, I thought.