UN-RELATED (UN-RELATED SERIES) (7 page)

“A lot of good it did…he knocked her up, anyway!” Mr. Benson shouted.

“On second thought, Abby, why don’t you come with me?” he said, not sure which was the lesser of two evils: his upcoming talk with Brianna, or her parents heated discussion.

“Brianna?” Kellan knocked on her door.

“Go away,” she sniffled.

“I think we should talk. May I come in, please?”

When she didn’t answer, he opened the door and we both walked in.

“I’m so sorry, Brianna. I didn’t mean to say that.” I felt so bad for all the trouble I had just caused, even though I hadn’t meant it.

“You ruined everything,” she said to me and turned away.

“Brianna, come on. They were going to find out eventually. Now, it’s out in the open. It’ll be okay.”

She buried her head under her pillow.

“Talk to me. What’s wrong? You weren’t this upset about it earlier. I told you I’d
marry you.”

“Why?”

“Why, what?” Kellan asked.

“Why are you marrying me? Do you want to marry me?” she asked.

Kellan looked down and didn’t say anything for a minute. Finally, he said, “I thought you wanted to get married?”

“That’s not what I asked. Do you…love me?” she asked.

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

“You don’t have to stay. You’re off the hook, you don’t have to marry me,” Brianna said, and turned away from him.

“You’re talking crazy. We already talked about this…we’re getting married.”

“No, we’re not.”

“I don’t understand…what did your mom mean about getting a shot?”

She refused to look at him.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, and walked into the bathroom.

I stood in the corner, not sure what to do. I stood there, looking at the beautiful, plush carpet and thought how the carpet in my room paled by comparison. I heard Kellan flush the toilet and wash his hands. He walked out of the bathroom with a box in his hand.

“You said you took the test I bought you?” he asked Brianna.

She finally sat up and faced him. “I told you, you’re off the hook.”

“I don’t understand,” he said, looking at the unopened box.

“I lied!” she said, sitting up now.

“You lied? What do you mean, you lied?” he asked, his breath quickened.

“I just…I didn’t want to lose you,” she said, looking down.

“So, you made up the whole thing? Why?”

“I just told you, I didn’t want to lose you. I know you’re not…happy, with me anymore.”

“So, you just tried to trick me into marrying you? How could you do that?” he asked, pacing the room now.

“I love you.”

“You have a funny way of showing it. How could you…? Come on Abby, we’re leaving!”

“Kellan! I’m sorry. I just couldn’t think of any other way to keep you. I’m…failing most of my classes. They’re kicking me out of school. I know you’re getting straight A’s, and I thought you’d fall for one of those smart girls that are always falling all over you.”

“I never cheated on you, Brianna. I came home to you every night.”

“But, you weren’t really with me, were you?” she asked, silent tears running down her cheeks.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” he said.

“I want you to tell me that you love me. I want you…to love me.”

“I don’t know what to say…”

She closed her eyes and said, “I guess there’s nothing left to say.”

“I’m sorry, Brianna. I wish I could tell you what you want to hear. I care for you…I do.”

“Just go! Please!” She was openly crying now.

Kellan motioned for me to follow him downstairs. We were heading out the door but were stopped by Mr. Benson before we could make our escape.

“Where do you think you’re going? You get my daughter in trouble and then just run off…like nothing happened?”

“Daddy, he didn’t get me into trouble. I’m not pregnant,” Brianna said from the bottom of the stairs.

“What?” Mr. Benson asked.

“I’m not…pregnant. I…” she started to tell him she lied, but Kellan interrupted her.

“It was a false alarm. I have to get Abby home. I’ll see you later, Bree,” Kellan said, offering her a chance to save face. 

She smiled weakly at him and said, “Yeah, okay. I’m sorry…for everything.”

We walked home in silence. The next day was Thanksgiving, and we had planned on having dinner with Brianna and her family, but suddenly that didn’t seem like the best plan. Nancy and Joe were off again, as usual. They weren’t due back until late Sunday evening after Kellan’s flight left. 

Managing to avoid the topic foremost on our minds, Kellan said, “Do you think we can cook a turkey and all of the fixings if I go out and get the stuff?”

“We can just have turkey sandwiches or something. It’s no big deal.”

“It is a big deal. You’re always missing out on the important things. I hate that you live here…” he said, refusing to talk about Brianna.

“Kellan, I’m okay. Are you?” I asked.

“I’m…fine. I’m just…why the hell did she lie to me? It doesn’t make any sense. I never cheated on her…I was always…”

“Do you love her?” I asked, getting to the heart of the matter.

He sat down on one of the dining room chairs and sighed, “I care for her.”

“Kellan,
do you love her
?”

He sighed, “No, not really. I thought I would grow to love her in time. But, she’s been so…clingy. And now, I don’t know what to do. I just don’t understand why she would do this.”

“She told you why. She was afraid of losing you. She loves you, even if you don’t feel the same for her. She must have sensed it was over.”

“She has a funny way of showing it. I never gave her any reason to doubt me. I mean, I never cheated on her.”

“I believe you. But, how many girls were hanging around you? How many girls did you talk to? And, just because you didn’t cheat on her doesn’t mean you were really there for her, either.”

“I was there. I was faithful…and I was there!”

“I’m sure she knows that, but I’ll bet she was jealous of every other girl that looked at you or talked to you,” I said, knowing exactly how Brianna felt.

“So, that means it’s okay to lie to me and to trick me into marrying her? How could she do that? Yeah, I talked to a few girls…friends, but she had a lot of guy friends, too. And I didn’t try to trick her into marrying me.”

“You wouldn’t have had to. She loves you.”

He paced around the dining room for a few minutes and then said, “When did you get so smart? I guess I should go talk to her, huh?”

“Yeah. I’ll cook dinner…unless you’re planning on staying…there.”

“No, I’m just going to tell her it’s over. Tell her the truth. I can’t be too angry at her about lying, when I haven’t been exactly truthful with her. I’ll be back soon.” He walked to the door and said, “Thanks
, Abby. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Kellan came back about an hour later, and then we spent the rest of the weekend together…just the two of us. It was just like old times, except my feelings for him were so much stronger. Being with him was wonderful, but it made it even harder to say goodbye when he left Sunday night.

Back to school…and back to my miserable life…without Kellan.

“So, how was your visit with…
him
?” Tyler asked me on the first day back to school after the short break.

“It was
different
. But, it was great seeing him. I miss him already, and I don’t know when I’ll get to see him again. He broke up with his girlfriend, so I don’t think her father will be paying for him to come home to visit anymore.” That thought was heart-breaking, even if I wasn’t too upset about their break-up. I felt guilty, but on the other hand, she did try to trick him…and he didn’t love her. But, I knew it wouldn’t be too long before he found someone else…and this time, he might really fall in love. I sighed as I opened my history book, and wished he’d just once, look at me as something other than his ‘almost’ little sister.

“He’ll be back. Don’t worry. He loves you. He’ll always love
you
.”

“Yeah, like a little sister…”

“What’s wrong with that?”

I just looked at him.

“He’s too old for you, Abby. Why don’t you focus on someone…your own age?”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” I pulled out a notebook and started writing some of the notes from the
Smartboard in my notebook just to keep busy.

The weeks passed by slowly. Christmas came and went without Kellan. He sent me another snow globe. This one had an angel with glittery snow. He also sent me some new clothes…much needed clothes. I was finally having a growth spurt, and even though I was still very thin and gangly, I had managed to grow a couple of inches, making my old ratty pants way too short.

“Wow, you look great!” Tyler said, staring at me.

“Thanks. Kellan sent me some new clothes for Christmas, and for once, I didn’t have to hem them.”

“Yeah, um…they work.”

“What?” I asked.

“I mean, they fit.”

“Yeah. Oh, he bought me another snow globe, too. It’s so beautiful. It has an angel, and it looks like she’s floating in the clouds.”

“An angel…yeah,” he said, still staring at me.

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked my only other friend.

“Um, nothing, why?”

“Then stop looking at me…like that.”

“Sorry, it’s just…sorry.” He looked away.

Kellan had moved out of the house Brianna’s father had leased for them and was staying at a house near the school, in a spare room. He just moved in, after trying to share an apartment with a friend from school, who only had partying on his mind and made it impossible for Kellan to study.

“So, do you like your new room?”

“Yeah, it’s nice. It’s quiet here.”

“So, it’s just you and a lady?” I asked him.

“Yeah, she’s really nice to me.”

“How nice?” I asked, jealous of her.

“What does that mean?”

“Girls love you.”

“She’s older…a lot older. She’s just a nice lady. I like it here. I don’t know how long I can afford it, though. I’m working, but it’s getting tough now that I have to pay rent and pay for my books.”

“Is Brianna still there?”

“No, she um, she moved back. She wasn’t doing well in school…and after what happened with us, I think she just decided to go home.”

“Oh, so then, are you seeing someone new?” I asked, afraid of his answer.

“No, not right now. I’m just focusing on school. How about you?”

“I hate school.”

“I mean, are you seeing anyone?”

“No, of course not.”

“What about, um, what’s his name…
Tyler?”

“We’re friends, that’s all.”

“Good to hear.”

“Why?” I asked, actually thinking he might be jealous.

“I just want you to be careful, that’s all.”

“Oh, yeah.”

That’s pretty much how all of our conversations ended. I missed him so much, but I refused to whine to him about it. I wanted to see him, but I knew he couldn’t afford to come home and I knew Nancy and Joe wouldn’t allow me to go see him. Kellan had made it a point to send me money over the last year for this and that. He wanted to make sure that I had what I needed since
Nancy and Joe never supplied me with anything. The money had come in handy quite a few times, but I managed to save almost all of it in an envelope I hid under a loose portion of carpet in the back of my closet. I couldn’t risk Nancy or Joe finding it, so I kept it hidden for a rainy day.

Nancy seemed to think she could take whatever she wanted, but I wasn’t going to let her take the money Kellan had sent me and I had managed to keep the cell phone hidden well enough that she had no clue that I even had one.

“So, are you planning on going to the dance this Friday?”
Tyler asked and quickly cleared his throat.

“Why would I do that?” I asked, rolling my eyes at him.

“Oh, I just thought…”

“What?”

“Nothing. So, did you get your math assignment done?”

“Are you going?” I asked, ignoring his question.

“Um, no, I guess not,” he said, looking down.

“Then, why did you bring it up?”

“I don’t know. I was just curious if anyone asked you.”

“In case you haven’t figured it out, other than Kellan, you’re my only friend. So, who would ask me?”

He was looking at me funny again, and then he shrugged his shoulders and started to get up.

I didn’t understand him
at times. He started to walk away and then he turned toward me and said, “I um, I kind of wanted to ask you.”

“Why, you couldn’t get Cassandra Jespersen to go with you, or you’re just hoping to see her there?”

“No, I just wanted to go with you. I don’t care about Cassandra.”

“Well, you’re the only
boy who doesn’t care about her. So, then why do you want to go?” I asked.

“I just thought we could have some fun, maybe dance a little, or something.”

I stared at him, not sure where this was going. “I don’t know how to dance, but thanks anyway. I’m sorry, but I don’t really want to go. Why don’t you ask Jeannette? She’ll probably go with you. She’s always watching you.”

“I don’t want to go with
Jeannette. I told you, I want to go with you!” he snapped at me.

“But, why?” I asked, bewildered.

“Because…I like you, that’s why.”

“I like you, too. But I still don’t understand why
?”

“No, I like you… more than just as a friend,” he said quietly and sat down next to me. “I know I’m not Kellan, but, I don’t think of you as a sister.”

I was stunned. I didn’t know what to say.

The bell rang and he stood up and reached out his hand to me to help me up.

“If you don’t want to go to the dance, then maybe we can go see a movie or something?”

“Um, I don’t know…I don’t think so,” I stammered.

“Oh, okay. Um, I guess I’ll see you later, then,” he said. 

He looked devastated, but for the life of me I couldn’t understand why. We were friends, why would he want to ruin it…and he knew how I felt about Kellan. But as he walked away, I knew I’d hurt his feelings, and before I could stop myself, I blurted out, “
Tyler, um, is the dance formal, because I don’t have a dress.”

“If you had one, would you go?” he asked
with the light returning to his eyes.

“Um, yeah, I guess so. It sounds like
…fun,” I lied.

“It’s the spring semi-formal, and my sister has a lot of dresses. I’m sure you could borrow one,” he smiled.

“Okay, I’ll go…with you,” I said, trying my best to give him a smile. I didn’t want to go, but I also didn’t want to lose my friend.

True to his word, Tyler’s sister let me borrow a dress. It was too big, of course, but his mother took it in for me and as I looked in the mirror the night of the dance, I realized I
had
grown up a bit. The bras Kellan had bought me the summer before no longer fit, and although I wasn’t blessed with what I would consider large breasts, they were larger than before. I was 15 by then, and as I stood in front of the mirror looking at the scared, skinny girl staring back at me, I prayed that I wasn’t done growing.

“Wow, you look great. I wasn’t expecting…um, here,” he said, handing me a box with a wrist corsage in it. 

I was a nervous wreck. I knew that
Tyler thought of this as a date, but I didn’t feel ready to date. Up to that moment when he asked me, I never really thought dating was in the cards for me, so I was still in shock as Tyler took my arm and led me into the dance.

I looked around at all the couples and sighed softly to myself as
Tyler put his arm around my waist and steered me to a table in the back.

He pulled my chair out for me and I slowly sat down in it, not sure what else to do.

“Would you like something to drink?”

“Um, sure. Anything is fine,” I said.

“I’ll be right back,” he smiled and headed off to the refreshment table.

I looked around at all the beautiful couples and felt even more out of place. As I looked around, I knew I didn’t want to be there anymore than I thought I would. I gave myself a pep talk and told myself that I was doing it for
Tyler, but this brought no relief from the misery I was experiencing as Tyler made his way back to me, handed me a drink and then asked me to dance.

“I um, I don’t know how to dance. I guess I should’ve mentioned that before.”

“It’s easy. It’s a fast song, so just get out there and move,” he grinned.

I didn’t know where all
of his self-confidence came from all of a sudden, but Tyler didn’t seem the least bit shy as he dragged me out onto the dance floor.

So, we danced to a few songs. Neither of us
could really dance well, but it didn’t stop him and I felt too guilty for accepting the invitation to not dance with him.

After
a couple of songs, the music turned from fast to slow and I knew that was my ticket for escaping the dance floor. Tyler had other ideas however, and as I headed off the floor, he grabbed my hand and pulled me to him.

“I um, I really don’t know how to slow-dance,” I said, pulling away.

He refused to let me go and said, “It’s easy.” He pulled me closer and put his arms around my waist. I looked around at the other couples and obliged him by putting my hands on his shoulders and we were finally moving to the soft beat of a slow 90’s song.

I didn’t have a clue what to do with myself. I felt completely out of place and very nervous…even if
Tyler didn’t.

“See, it’s not so bad,” he grinned.

“For you,” I said with a shaky voice.

“Relax. You’re with me, just forget about everyone else.”

This did nothing to ease my fears and by the time the song was over I was ready to bolt out the door.

We had to stay the entire time because
Tyler’s mother dropped us off and he told her to pick us up at midnight when the dance was officially over.

“I can drive us myself next time. I get my license in a few weeks,”
Tyler said while walking me into the house once his mom dropped me off.

“Next time?”

“Yeah, didn’t you have fun?” he asked.

“Oh, yeah sure. It was fine.”

He looked down at me sadly and said, “So, your foster parents are gone again?”

“Yeah. I don’t mind, though. When they’re gone, they’re not yelling at me.”

He stepped closer to me and said, “It’s not fair that you’re always alone. You could come back to my house…if you want.”

“No, I’m fine, here. Besides, if they did show up they’d wonder where I was,” I grinned, and added, “Who am I kidding? They never know if I’m here or not. They don’t care where I am or what I’m doing, as long as they get their check.”

“I care,” he said, and touched my cheek with the back of his hand.

I pulled back and said, “I know, thanks.”

I walked toward the door and Tyler grabbed my hand before I could open it and said, “Abby, can I um…?”

“Can you what?” I asked, never imagining what his question was going to be.

He stared at me for a second and then leaned toward me and whispered, “Kiss you. Can I kiss you?”

“No! Why would you want to do that?”

“What do you mean why would I want to do that? I told you, I like you. I want to be more than just friends, Abby.”

“
Tyler, I went to the dance with you…as a friend, that’s all.” The images in the book Kellan gave me were running rampant through my brain. “I’m not ready for…anything more.”