Villainess (8 page)

“I’m not a serial killer.” I ground my teeth together. “At least not one in the traditional sense.”

“A serial killer is defined as someone who kills three or more people, with the murders taking place over a month and including a cooling off period between the murders.” Jonah raised his eyebrows. “You
are
a serial killer.”

I stood, anger infusing my system. “No, I’m not. I didn’t enjoy killing any of those people. I did it for a purpose. I told you that already. I did it to make this country a better place. I killed because I’m a patriot. Would you call a soldier a serial killer?” My pulse raced and my chest heaved as I stared down Jonah. He eyed me speculatively.

“You may not consider yourself a serial killer, but the rest of the world does.”

“So this is the game we’re going to play today?” I forced my body into submission and sat back down on the couch. “I liked yesterday’s better.”

It hadn’t gone unnoticed by me that Jonah hadn’t yet brought up the situation between Matt and myself. I would bet on it that he wasn’t going to. I’d upped the stakes yesterday, I’d laid down a challenge, and Jonah’s response was today’s session. My nostrils flared as I slowed my breathing. I wasn’t going to let him rile me up so easily. That’s obviously exactly what he wanted. “I’m not talking about this anymore. Pick something else.” I crossed my arms over my chest, letting my body language tell him to back off.

“All right,” he drawled. “Then tell me what happened in that house.”

“Fine,” I grated.

The beginning—the beginning and the end is what happened in that house. I squeezed my eyes shut and forced myself to remember.

A year and a half earlier~

“What are you doing?” I hissed, gasping for breath. Theo had taken off at a dead sprint, and even though I was in decent shape, his longer legs ate up the ground.

He turned to me, his eyes glinting. “Helpin’ you, like I said.”

“How do you even know what I was planning?”

Theo’s fingers tapped under my chin, and I flinched. “I can see it in your eyes plain as day.”

My stomach knotted. “Who the hell are you?” The whole situation with him was something out of a twisted dream…or nightmare. Which one it turned out to be still remained to be seen.
Why do I feel like I’ve met him before?
The familiarity of Theo was just as disturbing as the rest of the situation.

Without another word, he picked up a rather heavy looking lawn ornament, and smashed the glass on the patio’s sliding back door, disappearing into the dark house.
Why do I suddenly feel like Veronica from Heathers and Theo is my JD?
It was like I wanted it, I wanted what Theo was seemingly going to give me—it was the whole reason I’d been lurking in the backyard, but did I
really
want it
?
Like did Veronica actually want to kill Heather? Or maybe she did, and just wanted to blame her icky feelings on someone else? Maybe that’s what I was about to do.

A scream pierced the silence in the house and I dashed headlong into the dark, my heart slamming against my ribcage. I glanced around, almost frantic, and headed towards the glow of a light on the second floor.

“No, please, take what you want, just don’t hurt me and my son.”

I rounded the corner to see the same woman who had hit her child, on her knees in front of Theo, sobbing. She was in shorts and an oversized T-shirt, which she’d obviously been sleeping in. Her mouth was bloody, her hair in disarray— I clutched at my head, a stabbing pain shooting through my skull. I was disoriented, confused.

“Don’t hurt my mommy!” a small frightened voice demanded, the outcry forcing me back into the moment, the pain and confusion pushed into submission.

“Theo, stop! The boy!” I rushed into the room to see him crouched in the corner, tears streaming down his tiny face.

“Get him out of here then, I’ll take care of her.”

Faced with the reality of the situation, my resolve wavered. Maybe the woman had only hit her son once, maybe she wasn’t such a bad person. Maybe if she got professional help she wouldn’t do it anymore. Who was I to be judge and jury? As I stared down at the small trembling boy, I couldn’t help but think that it wouldn’t be fair to rob him of his mother. “Theo, stop. Just stop. We can’t—I can’t.”

Theo’s blue eyes met mine, hard and resolute. “Maybe you can’t. But I can. Get him out of here if you don’t want him to see this. Either way, it’s happenin’. A mother should never hit her kid. Never.”

I scooped the boy up with no protest from him, he must have been in shock, and hurried from the room. Not more than a minute later I heard the telltale pop of a gun being discharged. “Oh, God. What’ve I done?” I cradled the boy close to me, clinging to him more for myself than anything else.
I fucked up. I should never have—I wasn’t thinking. I should have—Oh God.

Theo strode from the bedroom, his gaze meeting mine. “Give me the kid.”

“No.”

“I’m not gonna hurt him. Just give him to me.”

“Not happening.”

“Fine.” Theo stalked across the floor, his eyes never wavering from mine. When he lifted his hands up I saw the spattering of blood on them and I couldn’t help but gasp.
What did I expect? What had I expected from any of this?
I let Theo take him from me without a physical struggle. I didn’t want the boy to suffer any more trauma than he already had.

The boy stared numbly at Theo as he set him on the ground and crouched down in front of him. “Listen kid, and listen good, ya?” The boy nodded his head slowly, his eyes wide and terrified. “Your mom shouldn’t have hit you. It doesn’t matter that she’s your mom, no one should ever take advantage of someone weaker like that.”

“Wasn’t—wasn’t my mom weaker than you?”

Theo grinned. “Yeah, different story. I was protecting you. Do you understand the difference?”

“I-I think so.”

“Good. There’s one other thing I need for you to understand, kid. You can’t tell anyone about us. Ever. If you do, I’ll be forced to come back for you and that’s not what I want. After we’re gone, I want you to go to your neighbors’ house—tell them someone broke in here and you got away—that they hurt your mom but they had masks on. Two men. That’s all you know. Got it?”

“Y-yeah. Does this mean—does this mean I can live with my daddy now?”

Theo stood, his smile widening. “Yeah, kid, it does. Just remember what I told you. If you ever tell anyone about us, I’ll have to come back for you. You keep your mouth shut and say what I told you and you’ll be safe.”

“Are you avenging angels?”

Without another word, Theo took my hand and yanked me after him. I had no choice but to follow.

Jonah

Present~

Leila’s words trailed off, her face tense. She remained perfectly still, her eyes fixed on the ceiling, and her breathing coming out in shallow little bursts. It was obvious that talking about that night was still traumatizing to her.

I have to know more.

Not just because it was my job to dissect her emotional state, but because she’d piqued my curiosity. Leila was an enigma, there was so much more to her than even I originally thought. I wanted to figure out where all the pieces went…I wanted to know her.

“What happened after that? What happened with Theo?” I had a feeling he’d played a much bigger part in everything than anyone knew. It was odd that no one had heard of him though. He hadn’t been arrested with her and there wasn’t even the smallest mention of him in any news medium. I’d checked. He was a complete mystery to me.

“What do you mean?” Leila asked, her voice monotone.

“Theo…where is he now?”

“Dead. He’s dead.”

I shifted forward in my chair. I was finally going to get some answers, it seemed. “And how did he die?”

Leila pulled her full bottom lip between her teeth, nibbling. Her fingers tightened around each other in her lap. She dropped her head to the side, meeting my gaze. “I killed him, of course.”

I swallowed with anticipation. “Why?”

Her lips curled up at the corners and her eyes glazed over, as if she was remembering him. “I loved him. I loved him more than I’d ever loved anyone before.” My heart fisted in my chest, a feeling I pushed aside, not willing to contemplate what my reaction meant. “But it turns out I loved myself more. Maybe that in itself makes me a villain?” She pulled herself into a sitting position, her green eyes flaring. “What do you think, Doc?” She sighed heavily, and before a single word could escape my mouth said, “Never mind. It doesn’t matter. I know what I am.”

“And what is that?”

“A villain—or a villainess. Just like that painting says.”

“Do you really believe that?”

She snorted. “Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t want to talk anymore, besides— Isn’t my time for the day almost up?”

“No. Instead of the measly few hours a day that we started with, well, I was able to clear my patient roster temporarily. Your case is top priority. No one has time to wait months on the outcome of your evaluation.”

“Oh, Doc, I feel special now. Something like that could go to a girl-like-me’s head.” She chortled, all signs of sadness, or grief—whatever it was—gone from her continence. “Wasn’t your girlfriend upset?”

I leaned back in my chair, fidgeting with my tie. “I’ve told you before, Leila, she’s not my girlfriend.”

“Mmm… So we going to talk about what happened last session or are we going to pretend none of it happened?”

I ground my teeth together, forcing my face to stay neutral. “Which part?”

She stood, casually strolling over to the window. “Oh, I don’t know, the part where I talked about a threesome between you and me and your girlfriend, or the part where I told you I was fucking Matt. Of course I could have been lying about that.” She waved her hand in the air without looking at me. “But that’s old ground.”

“None of that is relevant. I want to move forward, not backward in these sessions.”

“Mmm… Yeah, I get it.” Leila turned, her green eyes glinting with mirth as she gazed at me. “So what do you want to talk about, now that I told you about that first night with Theo?”

A sinking feeling settled in my gut. The way she was looking at me told me that she indeed did get it. All of it. Leila Lovett knew that she’d gotten to me last session. She was like a wild animal who’d gotten a taste of my blood, I knew she’d be back for more eventually, and at the rate I was going I’d be waiting with my veins torn open for her. Not willing exactly, but definitely a wanting sacrificial lamb.
Fuck. Where the hell are these thoughts coming from?

I cleared my throat, forcing myself to focus on the present. “You mentioned your mom and your dad before. Where are they now?”

“I really don’t know where they are.”

“When was the last time you talked to them?”

Leila turned back to stare out the window, her fingers idly playing with the strings on the blind. “I couldn’t save them. I’ve already told you that part. My dad, he was…sick. My mom…she didn’t know how to be anything but the victim. Nothing—nothing I did made a difference. I—” Her words broke off abruptly as if swallowed by her pain.

I watched, mesmerized, as tears began to slide down her cheeks. Without conscious thought to do so, I was on my feet and taking her in my arms. She pressed her face into my chest, choking back sob after sob.
I shouldn’t be doing this. I’m crossing a line.
But my body didn’t listen to what my mind knew to be true. Instead I stroked Leila’s silky hair, sifting it through my fingers, wishing only to comfort her.

“I couldn’t save them,” she croaked into my shirt. “I couldn’t save them—I just wanted to save other people. Heroes sometimes just need a little push. I just wanted to push. Why can’t anyone see that?”

I shifted so I could tip Leila’s face up towards mine. Her big green eyes swam with sorrow and regret, tears continuing to spill down her face. Her skin was splotchy—she was not a pretty crier, and yet—she was so fucking beautiful in that moment. My pulse quickened as I continued to stare at her—her features new and familiar at the same time. “Let me help you, Leila. Let me really help you.”

“Help me?” She laughed, the sound sharp and humorless. “What can you do? It’s too late for me, Doc. Much too late.”

“No, I don’t accept that. You can plead insanity. Then I can—”

“No!” Leila shoved away from me, anger vibrating her slender body. “I won’t do that. I told you that I’d rather die.”

“And that’s one of the reasons you should take the plea—it’s not normal—none of what’s happened with you is normal. Just—just let me help you.”

I closed the gap between us, pulling her into my arms again. Our gazes collided, our breaths intermingling.
What the fuck am I doing?
But I had to—I just had to. Something akin to a growl rattled my chest.

Fuck it. I can’t stop myself.