Vital Signs (14 page)

When they'd run out of questions, she was so tired she could hardly get to her feet. She kissed them good-night, took a deep breath and went down to talk to Laura.

Her sister was sitting on the living-room sofa in maroon satin pajamas. She was smoothing some exotic-smelling lotion carefully onto her skin, and she looked disgruntled.

She scowled at Hailey. “Whatever happened to your downstairs bathroom? It looks as if a truck went through it. I hope your workmen are coming to fix it tomorrow.”

Your workmen.
Laura definitely lived in a different world. Hailey explained about the renovation and Roy's offer to help her with the bathroom. “I have to do it a little at a time. Neither of us has much time off and money's an issue. There's a company that will come and refinish the inside of the tub, but I wanted the walls and flooring repaired first.”

“I'd do the bathtub. I've got scratches from the darned thing.” Laura, fixated on the bathroom, didn't even ask about Roy. She didn't show the least sign of curiosity or interest at this hint of a man in her sister's life.

Feeling disappointed—it might actually have been fun to talk to Laura about him—Hailey went on, instead, to tell Laura about David. She knew her voice reflected the excitement she felt when she described him and said that she was bringing him home the following day.

But Laura just went on buffing her nails. “Mom said something about you getting too involved with some baby at St. Joe's. I guess I wasn't really paying much attention.”

Hailey swallowed hard. It wasn't the first time Laura had acted as if her life was unimportant, but under the circumstances, her sister's attitude not only stung, it made her furious. This was obviously her day for losing her temper, Hailey thought, but she'd listened and sympathized with Laura over her marital problems, hadn't she? Was it too much to ask that her sister be just a little bit excited about the idea of Hailey becoming a foster mother?

She tried to tell herself that this was a difficult time for Laura, that she ought to cut her some slack. But it had always been the same between them—the events in Hailey's life took second place to whatever was happening with Laura. And she felt more and more resentful and bitter. Now that her sister was going to be around for a while, Hailey was going to have to get this out in the open.

She took a deep breath and with remarkable restraint, considering how angry she was, said, “It kind of hurts my feelings that you're not interested enough to even pay attention to what's going on in my life. After all, it's a pretty big thing for me, getting a baby.”

“Well, it's a pretty big thing for me, walking out on Frank.”

Hailey blew up. “Have you ever, just once in your entire selfish existence, considered that anybody else has a life except you? That other people have prob
lems and…and things that make them happy or sad? You're my only sister. I'm trying to share something deeply personal and important with you here. Don't you even care?”

“Of course I care.” Laura sounded petulant. “It's just that your life has always been so easy.”

“Easy?” Hailey figured her mouth had dropped open enough to show her tonsils. “What the heck is easy about living alone, being in debt, working your buns off and deciding to be a single parent?”

At least Laura had stopped filing her nails. At least she was paying attention. She frowned at Hailey as if she truly didn't get it.

“But things have always been easy for you, Hailey. You got top marks in school, you knew what you wanted to do and went ahead and did it. Like this house—you didn't even ask anyone's advice.” Laura sighed and then blurted, “Damn. I've always been sort of jealous, I guess. I was never as smart as you, and I just couldn't do stuff on my own the way you did. I knew that getting married to Frank was what Mom wanted for me, and I thought he'd take care of me, so…”

Hailey was nearly speechless. “You were
jealous?
Of
me?
But you're so beautiful, and I'm not. I always figured…I mean, you and Mom are so alike. Both of you made such a big issue about clothes and looks, and you were a unit. Oh, I know Mom loves me, in her way, but I've always thought you didn't really have much use for me. That you were ashamed or something.”

“Ashamed? Of you?” Laura looked shocked and
then stricken. “God, Hailey, I remember when you were born. You were my baby sister and I couldn't wait for you to grow up so we could play together. I was so proud of you. Then when we got into our teens, our interests were so different. And then I got pregnant, and Mom said I had to marry Frank, and since then…well, I've tried hard, but I can't make it work.”

For Hailey, one shock was following hard on the heels of the next. “I didn't know you were pregnant when you got married.”

“Mom was furious at me. I lost the baby at five months. She said it was a blessing.”

“Omigod. I remember when you had the miscarriage, but I thought you were only six weeks or so.”

Laura shook her head and wiped the back of her hand across her eyes. “In spite of everything, I really, really wanted that baby.”

“I'm sorry, Laura. I guess this is totally insensitive of me, landing all this stuff on you when you're down.”

“I'm sorry, too. I guess it was just as insensitive of
me,
not paying attention to what you were saying.”

“Yeah, it was. But then, you never do.” There was no point lying about it. Hailey braced herself. Laura had a temper, too, and she'd probably explode now, pack up the kids and leave.

Instead, she said, “So who's going to take care of your baby while you work?”

Hailey explained about the nursery at St. Joe's. “I wish I could afford a nanny, but that's out of the
question.” She'd stewed about taking David to yet another strange place, but there really was no choice.

“While we're here, the kids and I could take care of him, if that's okay with you.” Laura looked wistful. “I love babies.”

“That's great of you to offer.” Hailey thought it over. “He's gonna be upset at first. He may cry a lot, be hard to handle.” Hailey shuddered, remembering how he'd screamed today. She told Laura what had happened, and this time there was true compassion in her sister's eyes.

“Poor little guy. The kids are old enough not to mind sharing me. I could give him lots of attention. They'd help me with him. You know I'm good with kids, Hailey.”

“Of course you are. That's something we have in common.” It was the first time she'd really thought much about what she and Laura had in common. She'd trust her sister with David. “Thanks, Laura. I'd really be grateful if you would, especially since I'm going back on nights. This way he can get used to his own crib and his own room before I have to take him to the nursery.”

She didn't get into the fact that some social worker she'd never met might be picking him up and taking him to see the irresponsible child who'd birthed him. She'd tell Laura about that tomorrow.

The phone rang, and both of them tensed. It might be Jean. Or it might be Frank. Hailey almost let the machine pick up, but on the fourth ring thought better of it, remembering she'd asked the nurses at St. Joe's to call if there was a problem with David.

“Hailey?” It was Roy, and her face flushed with pleasure.

Laura guessed she wanted privacy. She made her way upstairs, waggling her fingers in a silent good-night.

“I'm sorry for calling so late. There was an emergency and I just got free.”

“That's okay, I wasn't in bed or anything.” She closed her eyes, letting the deep timber of his voice remind her of what it felt like to have him kissing her. But then her eyes sprang open again.

“There's nothing wrong with David, is there?”

“Not that I know of. I haven't had any calls about him. I wanted to know how you made out with him today.”

“It was really bad. I was there all afternoon, but he finally cried himself to sleep.” It was such a relief to be able to tell someone, to know that Roy understood how heartwrenching it had been for David—and for her.

“I'm sorry.” He sounded it, and frustrated, as well. “The worst part is, there's not a damned thing I can do about it. Shannon's his mother—the judge will give her visiting privileges.”

“You've seen other kids in this situation. How does it affect them in the long term?”

He was quiet for a moment, and when he answered, his words were guarded. “The ministry feels that in most cases, it's less damaging for the child to see his parent than not.”

Her hand tightened on the phone. “But the kids don't understand. They don't know why the person
they know as Mommy keeps on appearing and disappearing. Wouldn't it be better if—”

“There aren't any easy answers.” His tone contained both anger and resignation. “There are areas of my work, as I'm sure there are with yours, where I have to uphold policy even when I don't agree. I have to make myself believe, and most of the time I do, that we
are
helping, that what we do has value, that my job is worthwhile.”

Chastened, Hailey remained quiet.

“Dammit, Hailey.” She heard him heave a sigh. “I didn't call to give you a lecture about policy. Truth is, I didn't call just about David, either. I wanted to hear your voice.” His tone deepened. “I've been thinking of you all afternoon. You're really good at sitting on laps, you know.”

She felt herself blushing. What the heck was a girl supposed to say to that? She was
so
bad at this flirting thing. Why hadn't Laura taught her?

“I liked it.” She only knew how to tell the truth. “I've been thinking about you, too.” She had. In some deep part of her, separate from everything else that had gone on during this long, chaotic day, she'd held on to the memory of that kiss.

“Hey, that's such a relief.” She heard him take a long breath and then release it. “We should talk about where we're going with this, Hailey.”

Where they were going? Alarm bells went off inside her. She figured she knew all too well where
she
was going.

Down a dead-end road with a broken heart at the bottom.

“T
HE TRUTH IS
,
you're driving me nuts,” Roy said. “I want to know you, Hailey. On every level.”

There was heat in his voice and no mistaking his meaning. Waves of feeling swept over and through her as her imagination careened down delicious paths.

“I'm going to hand this case over to Larissa the moment she's back from bereavement leave, because I don't want any business complications to interfere with our relationship, Hailey.”

So now they had a relationship? Man, this was going fast. She wasn't sure how she felt about anything except that she wanted him something awful. She couldn't help that. She couldn't help the fear, either. She really didn't want a broken heart for Christmas—if this “relationship” lasted that long.

He broke the long silence. “Hailey, speak to me. Am I out in left field here all by myself? I know I'm pushing, probably too fast, but I need to know how you feel about me, because if the feeling isn't mutual, I'll just slit my throat or something. It's your call.”

This was her chance. This was her opportunity to
get the hurt over with before it had a chance to turn into agony.

She opened her mouth to tell him yes, he had to back off, and no, she had no feelings for him whatsoever, but her traitorous tongue betrayed her. It didn't have a single thing to do with the bathroom repairs, either, she was pretty sure of that.

She heard herself croak, “It's mutual.”
You maniac, what are you saying? It's not enough you're taking on a kid, and your sister's moved in for an indefinite time, and your mother's going to be royally pissed off at you, and your supervisor hates your guts. Now you need a guy in your life, as well?

He made a sound in his throat, of pleasure and relief and anticipation. “Thank you,” he growled. “I was beginning to think I'd have to chain you up somewhere and do nasty things to your body until you changed your mind.”

That scenario played itself out fast and hot in her brain, and she shifted on the chair.

“I don't suppose you'd come out for a coffee with me, would you?”

“Now?” She glanced at the clock. It was ten past eleven.

“It's late, and I know you've had a long, tough day. It's unreasonable and thoughtless and selfish as hell of me to even ask. So will you?”

It was absolutely out of the question. She'd been up since dawn, she had a million things still to do—and there was a loneliness and hunger in his voice she was all too familiar with.

Maybe she wasn't as tired as she thought. “Sure.
I'll come for a quick coffee. I'd ask you to come here, but I have houseguests.”

“Thanks.” He packed a lot of feeling into one little word. “I'll be there in ten minutes.”

 

I
T ACTUALLY TOOK HIM
only eight. He'd been heading toward her neighborhood the entire time he talked to her on his cell. If that wasn't optimism, he didn't know what was. He did know that he had to see her, and his reasons were totally selfish.

The day had escalated from the scene at St. Joe's with David screaming for his mother to the usual merry-go-round of meetings, questions and minor emergencies, most of which left him out of sorts, feeling frustrated with the system. He'd eaten dinner alone, driven around for an aimless hour and a half and then dialed Hailey's number because she was good and honest and real, and the kiss he'd shared with her that afternoon had been the best thing he'd done all day. He also needed to talk to someone rooted and sane and healthy. And sexy—sexy didn't hurt.

He hadn't meant to blurt out the things he had, hadn't planned to put her on the spot that way about her feelings. He'd taken one hell of a chance, laying it on the line. And she'd scared him half to death when she'd hesitated for that endless moment.

The rational part of his mind demanded,
What do you think you're doing, Zedyck?
But the part that had him on automatic pilot replied,
Damned if I know, but it feels right.

He pulled up in front of her house and got out of
the car, but before he could make it halfway up her walk, she'd slipped out the door and was coming toward him.

There was a streetlight nearby, and he could see she was wearing jeans and a yellow T-shirt. Her long arms and legs reminded him of the half-grown colts he'd played with as a boy on the farm. Her wild hair stood out all around her head, and all he could see of her face was the flash of white teeth when she smiled.

“I'd ask you in, but my sister and her kids are staying with me.”

“I didn't expect to go in.” He waited until she was a single step away before he gathered her in his arms for what he intended to be a warm hug and ended up as a kiss that spiraled out of control. She felt pliant and soft in his arms, and he wanted to make love to her more than anything in the world.

He sniffed in the unique fragrance of her hair and skin, a mix of shampoo and the antibacterial soap they used at St. Joe's. It was more arousing than any fancy French perfume. Maybe he'd just kidnap her, take her to his apartment, strip her naked, explore that long body with his hands and tongue—

“I can't stay out long, Roy. I need some sleep, because I'm picking up David in the morning.”

Timing, timing, timing. It was a lot like location, location, location.

He'd have to put his raging hormones on hold until the timing was right.

When he opened the car door for her, the overhead light brought her features into focus. He looked
at her, and his breath caught. God, she was beautiful. Her beauty was in the strong lines of her face, the angle of her jaw, the way her ears lay flat against her skull. It was in her generous mouth, in her smile, in the way her body moved, in the endearing awkward folding of her long legs, the vulnerable slenderness of throat and waist.

Shaken, he started the car and drove slowly along the deserted urban streets, aware that she was staring at him.

“Bad day?”

He was about to deny it, but instead, he told the truth, that this was one of those times when he doubted the job, himself, the system. He'd never been able to share the details of his days with anyone but his sister Nicole. Other women hadn't wanted to know about pain and betrayal and, sometimes, death. But Hailey was a nurse; he instinctively knew she'd understand.

“Some days I feel as if all I'm doing is putting a Band-Aid on a festering sore,” he admitted. “I feel like smashing something by the end of the day.”

“I felt that way today, with David and his mother.” She reached over and put a hand on his arm and squeezed in sympathy and understanding. “I felt helpless and furious listening to him scream for her that way.”

“How the hell do you deal with it?” He had his own techniques—running until he was exhausted, visiting his parents, reassuring himself that there was good as well as evil, in the world, and that the good outweighed the evil.

“When battered kids come in, I used to get so worked up about it I felt physically sick,” she said. “An older nurse noticed and talked to me about it. She pointed out that all that anger wasn't hurting the people I was aiming it at. They weren't even aware of it and probably wouldn't care if they were. It was only hurting me and draining my energy, and, in turn, diminishing the level of care I could give the poor little kid. It still makes me sick and angry when kids are deliberately hurt, but I've learned to get past it, to focus on the positive things I can give, instead of the negative stuff I can't control.”

“Makes sense. You're a smart lady.” He wasn't so sure he could succeed with the idea, but it gave him a new outlook.

“Nope. I know the formula, but I can't seem to apply it to Shannon Riggs, or Margaret, either. You saw how mad I was today.”

“But you got past it.”

“Not before I exploded at Margaret.”

“How did it go with her? At the meeting.”

“How did you know about that?”

“When Karen called to tell me Shannon was there, I asked her to get in touch with you, and she said you were already at St. Joe's, in a meeting. I surmised the rest.”

“They dropped the complaint.”

“Good. There shouldn't have been one in the first place.”

“Thank you for the letter you sent on my behalf.”

“My pleasure.” Just being with her was pleasure,
in so many different ways. “So what made you lose your temper?”

“Margaret threatened to put a cover on David's crib to keep him in there.”

“Wow. I thought stuff like that went out with the Dark Ages. Understandable you'd be mad.”

“Not smart, though. Losing your temper doesn't get you anywhere. It feels good at the time, but it doesn't win the war. And I've always had a bad temper.”

They laughed and then were silent, and even that was comfortable. He pulled up in front of a late-night café and they went inside.

Over coffee and servings of the mile-high coconut pie the place was famous for, they talked about books they'd read, movies they hadn't seen—they'd both been too busy all summer to get to the theatre—and their work.

Hailey told him about Brittany and the other kids on the ward she'd come to love, and he did the same. Their jobs were similar, and tragedy was sometimes the outcome with the kids they cared about.

“If you're at home next weekend, I'll come over and work on the bathroom,” he offered.

“My sister would be grateful,” she said. “For some strange reason, Laura wasn't impressed with that tub tonight.”

“Is she visiting from out of town?”

“Nope.” Hailey took a bite of her pie, then added, “She lives on the west side. She and her husband are having some marital problems, and she
and my niece and nephew are staying with me while they sort them out.”

“I hope it works for them.” He saw too many broken homes, too many kids cast adrift as a result of divorce.

She shot him a look. “I don't. She's married to a prize prick, and I hope she comes to her senses and divorces him. Trouble is, he's got her intimidated because he's a bully, as well as a lawyer.”

“Does she have a lawyer?”

Hailey shook her head. “Do you think Nicole would mind if I gave Laura her number? She needs to talk to somebody unbiased and knowledgeable who'll tell her that what her husband says is a crock.”

“Nicole wouldn't mind at all. And if she's too busy to take Laura's case, my extended family is crawling with lawyers. Want me to give Nick a call tomorrow and tell her Laura might be coming?”

“Please. Her last name's Quiggly.”

“Laura Quiggly.” He folded the napkin and put it in his pocket.

“I can't be sure Laura will even make an appointment, but thanks. Again.” She grinned. “You seem to be making a career out of helping me out. My bathroom, that letter and now this.”

Roy couldn't think of a better way of spending his time. He reached out and placed his hand over hers.

It was long past midnight when they climbed back in the car and he drove her home. He walked her to the door. They hadn't spoken of what he'd
said to her on the phone, but it was there now, between them.

“Thank you for coming out with me,” he said formally.

“Anytime, anyplace.” Her grin flashed in the moonlight. “Although I'll be cursing you in the morning when it's time to get up. I want to bring David home as early as I can, before Margaret gets any more perverted ideas. Maybe you'd like to come by and see how he's making out,” she suggested. “You could meet my sister and my niece and nephew.”

He'd rather have her alone, but he'd take whatever he could get.

“I'll come by in the evening, if that's okay with you.”

“Come for dinner. I'll get Laura to cook.”

“You really know the way to a man's heart.”

“Introducing you to all my relatives?”

“It's an age-old custom.”

When he dipped his head to kiss her, there was no hesitation on her part. Her arms came around him, and her mouth was ripe and soft and eager, and he felt heat and suppressed passion in every line of her body. He wanted her then with a need that had him trembling before he reluctantly released her, pressing one last kiss to her swollen mouth before he let her go.

Her breathing was as rapid as his. “Good night, Roy.”

“‘Good night' isn't what I want at this moment,
but it's gonna have to get me through.” He kissed her again, softly, with regret, and watched as she went in the house.

 

A
LL THE LIGHTS
were out, and Hailey slipped in the door, closing it quietly behind her.

“Sneaking in, huh?”

Hailey jumped and gasped when Laura's voice came out of the darkness.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I couldn't sleep, and then the phone rang. Your machine took the message. Where'd you go at this hour, anyway? And who was the guy?”

“Just out for coffee.” For an insane moment, she felt like a teenager sneaking in after making out with her guy. “That was Roy Zedyck, the social worker handling David's file.” She wondered whether Laura had seen them kissing and decided she must have. The front window looked out on where they'd been standing.

“Good guy? Bad guy? Dangerous guy?” There was something wistful in Laura's voice.

“Good. Dangerous, too. For me, anyway. You'll meet him. I asked him for supper tomorrow night. I thought maybe I could talk you into making something?”

“Lasagna? I make great lasagna.”

“Perfect.” Hailey pushed the button that would play back her messages, and her heart caught in her throat when she heard Mary, the nurse who was on the peds ward tonight.

“Hailey, Karen said you wanted us to call you if
there was any problem with David. His temperature spiked and he's vomited three times in the last hour. I called the resident and he came and had a look at him, left an order for a suppository if the vomiting doesn't slow down. We're giving him a bath now to bring his temp down. We're taking good care of him, so don't feel you have to race over or anything, but I figured you'd want to know.”