Waken (The Woods of Everod Book 1) (22 page)

“We never let others see us change, Janie,” she explained. “It’s very painful for us. It’s why we don’t shift often and when we do, it’s usually for a long period of time.”

“But Tristan showed me,” I said confused.

“Well, for him it’s different with you. He thinks you’re his destiny.”

“Don’t you mean the cure?”

Her hands paused their whipping, “No.” Her hands resumed their task as if his decision was nothing important, but I swore her tone was strained. “He’s made a choice not to go down that path.”

He made the choice, yet I wondered about the rest of them. Would everyone else be willing to accept his choice?

“Enough, Katrina,” Lisa said.

“It’s okay Lisa, I’m going to go lay down for a bit,” I said, hoping to prevent any disagreements between the two. I didn’t even realize how exhausted I was until my head hit the pillow. Within moments, I was asleep.

The trees rise regally, crowned by the mountains encasing them. The rank scent of my fear surrounds me. Elin stands only feet from me, beside the wolf who morphs into the red-haired man. In his hand, he holds a pulsing heart. The deep red blood drips onto my mother’s white dress.

He steps toward me and I tense instinctively, knowing I should run. My feet refuse to move, cemented to the ground.

Tristan appears at my side, gripping my hand in his and I relief spreads through me. Again, he speaks to them, I hear his words, but they mean nothing to me. My relief vanishes as Rachel and a faceless girl enter the small clearing. Tristan releases me and moves toward them.

Anguish rips through me as I soundlessly scream his name. Rachel smiles, takes Tristan’s hand in hers, and leads him back into the trees.

I cry his name again and again, but they echo only in my heart.

A crisp knock on the door brought me out of my deep slumber, and I rolled over, groaning. Sunlight pierced the thin white curtains that sheltered the windows. I lay unmoving, refusing to acknowledge my intruder.

I stared at the ceiling and noticed a dream catcher hanging above the bed. It hadn’t been there when I lay down or I’d have noticed it. Someone had been in here, while I was sleeping. Even as I rationalized that it had been Tristan, I shivered to think that I hadn’t even stirred the slightest. The knock sounded again, and I rolled out of bed, intent on giving the person a piece of my mind. I pulled open the door in the middle of another knock to see Lisa, her fist raised.

She smiled broadly. “Hey! I’m so glad you’re still here. I wasn’t sure after this morning. I knew Justin was really upset, and it’s a lot to digest.” She moved past me into the room, swinging the door shut behind her. “I didn’t wake you did I?” she asked, taking in my rumpled look.

“No, not really. I was just about to get up,” I lied.

“Oh, good. I thought for a second I might have.”

“What time is it?” I asked, rummaging through my bag for fresh clothing.

“Almost three.”

“Wow, I can’t believe I slept that long.” Actually, I could, but wasn’t going to admit it.

“Well, Tristan said you hadn’t been sleeping well and after everything... well, we all thought you needed some time on your own.” She began fussing with the bed sheets, tugging them into place, quickly arranging them with military precision.

“I feel a bit better. It’s all just a lot to take in.”

“Are you okay with everything?” she asked hesitantly.

“I think so. I mean…” My voice trailed off. I didn’t know what I meant. “I guess I just don’t know what to expect.”

She sat down on the edge of the freshly made bed and pushed her purple bangs back from her face. “Do you want to ask me anything? Anything you couldn’t ask Tristan, I mean.”

“Do you believe I’m the cure?”

“When the Clara Markov made that prediction everyone assumed it meant a cure and that she believed you could save us. But that was decades ago. There’s been so many scientific discovers and with everything we know about DNA, infections, and immunities, well…maybe your blood does hold a cure, or maybe it holds something completely different.” She picked at her skinny jeans, avoiding my eyes.

“Do you want to be cured?”

“Being Lycan isn’t as good as it sounds. The infection kills most of the people with the fever. Only about ten percent live and without Dr. Markov around to replicate his formula, the only ways for a person to become infected is through being born to Lycan parents or with an infusion of blood. Usually the Lycan infecting the person needs to give a lot of their own blood, sometimes they don’t have enough to heal themselves and end up dying. ”

“But you’re already infected. Why would that matter?”

“After I learned the truth about the Lycan who changed me, I was bitter. I wasn’t willing to give up my dreams now that I knew it was for nothing. So I moved to New York, and I worked on as a stagehand on Broadway for a few years, when someone commented on how I didn’t look anywhere near thirty, I knew I couldn’t stay. I started over as a waitress at a bar. I met a man. He was a musician and the most gorgeous creature on earth. Imagine Tristan times ten. It was love at first sight. Eventually I told him about what I was and he accepted me. He even offered to let me infect him, but I couldn’t risk him being one of those that die. Kas found out about him and infected him.” She swiped at a tear that spilled over, dragging a line of mascara down to her chin.

“What happened to him?”

“I watched him die from the fever. That was ten years ago. After all these years without him, he’s fading away from me and I just want to see his face again. The way he was when we first met.” A tight smile curved her lips. “This infection took him from me. And it’s taken away any hope I have of finding another to love. When Mike died, Ericka ordered all Lycan to report to a community. It was the end of our freedom.”

“She can really do that?” I asked.

“Ericka. The control she has...it’s scary. We’ve been lucky so far. She shut down some of the extremist, moved everyone to Lycan communities. No one can live outside them, at least not for long. A lot of Lycan were upset, but it’s reduced the chance of us being discovered and of others being infected. She could make us do anything she wanted.”

“But if she doesn’t use it, then why worry?”

“For the most part, Ericka gives us free will. The order she gave Kas about not killing Amelia’s children is the only other one I know of. But if she were to die...alpha status would go to her daughter Helena. Helena has always been unpredictable.” She shook her head, as if trying to get rid of any thought of what Helena would do with that power. “Anything else you want to know?”

I thought for a moment. I had so many unanswered questions, but most needed to be answered by Tristan or Lukas. Finally, I asked, “Do you know why Rachel’s been so mad at me?”

That brought a natural laugh from her. “Ever since Rachel learned about Ericka’s order to Tristan, she’s been obsessed with him, for the simple fact that it meant attention from the Council. I don’t think she really cares about him. He’s just a status symbol to her. If she knew who you really are, she’d probably go straight to Kas.”

I thought back to the strange way Rachel reacted when I told her about my parents. With Lukas being her father, then it made sense that she would know about his tattoo and make that connection to my own memory of him. And if she knew about Lukas being my father then wouldn’t she already know I was the one?

Lisa glanced at the door, listening as stomping feet came down the hall. “I’ll see you downstairs.” She walked to the door, just as Justin stepped through. There was an awkward pause as they looked at each other before Lisa scooted past him down the hall.

Justin didn’t say anything as he shut the door and flopped onto the bed, creasing the neat lines Lisa had just smoothed. He looked at me from under his lashes. I stared back. Gradually the absurdity of the whole situation burst through and we both started to laugh. I fell beside him, still laughing.

When we finally gained control, Justin said, “I never want you to change again.”

“What?” I asked confused.

“This all started when you decided it would be a good idea to change yourself. I thought, sure, great, Janie’ll have some friends, maybe get a life.” An involuntary chuckle burst from his lips. “Now we’re surrounded by werewolves, or whatever they are, in the middle of a freakin’ forest and they all think you’re the bomb.”

“The bomb?”

“Ya, you da bomb, dawg!”

That started us laughing again. After a few minutes, silence settled and I swallowed slowly.

“My father’s here,” I said even though Justin had been there. I needed to say it aloud; to test it. Justin stilled, turning on his side to look at me.

“I haven’t talked with him yet. I don’t even know what to say to him.” Before I knew him, I had wanted to know why he’d left. Now I wasn’t so sure.

A silence hung between us as we considered what that could mean until the rumbling of my stomach brought back the giggles. “Get out of here and let me get cleaned up.”

He walked with me down the hall and waited until I closed the bathroom door. I took a quick shower, forgoing the luxurious tub in favor of filling my stomach sooner. When I walked into the kitchen, a few people had gathered around the table. Lukas sat across from Tristan who held out the empty chair beside his for me. I avoided Lukas’s gaze, focusing on Tristan instead.

“Thank you for the dream catcher,” I said to Tristan.

“Did it help?”

“It must have. I definitely don’t remember any nightmares last night.” I purposely didn’t mention the one from my nap.

“What kind of dreams have you been having?” The question came from Lukas and the concern was evident in his face.

“About my mother.” I didn’t want to respond to him, but I did regardless because everyone seemed so interested.

“Your mother,” Katrina said softly. “Tell me about her. What does she do? What does she look like? Lukas has refused to tell us anything about her.”

I didn’t want to explain, but they all sat there with curious eyes, Justin included, waiting for me to tell them something. My eyes flittered over Lukas who sat gazing into his coffee.

“In my dreams she looks the same as she always did. Her hair is long and curly. She’s still beautiful. I guess that’s because she’s…well, you know.”

“How long have you been dreaming of her?” Lukas asked.

“Since I was fourteen. I was in the hospital after a car accident,” I said. “In my dreams, she used to try and hurt me, but now she has a man with her and they chase me through the woods. The other night he was a wolf and shifted into a man-”

“What was her name?” Katrina interrupted me before I could describe Tristan’s presence in my dreams. Everyone around the table had stilled. Only Lukas and Marissa seemed unsurprised.

I gave her a questioning look, wondering why she was so worried. “Elin.”

“Not Elin,” Lukas responded. “Helena. Your mother is Helena. Ericka’s daughter.”

“Lukas!” Katrina’s voice cracked on his name, her face twisted with terror. “Why didn’t you tell us? How could you not have told us?”

The horrified expressions on everyone’s faces were enough for me to know this wasn’t a good thing.

“I knew her as Elin.” Lukas traced the slight scars on the table surface. “I was living in the Northern community when we met. I had no clue she was Ericka’s daughter. She was gorgeous and fun, but it was never serious. I was young and dating exclusively wasn’t really my thing. I wanted to have fun before I had to spend the rest of my life in one of the communities. Then one day she up and left, without a word to me. A year later, I was living in Everod and she shows up with a baby.”

He looked at me tenderly, like Tim when he’s stroking my hair. My chest clenched in anger. He didn’t have the right to look at me like that. He wasn’t my father.

“What could I do? I took one look at you and I lost my heart.”

“Too bad that didn’t last.” The words slipped out, but despite the tense quiet that settled over the table, I didn’t regret saying them. Lukas looked away, before continuing his story.

“That was when she first told me about the promise and how she was going to make sure it would never happen. She knew you weren’t Lycan. She told me who she was and we left with you. Janie…I-” He cut himself off, and nervously sipped from his mug. “I didn’t know she was Helena, or about the promise or why she chose…”

He took another sip. Marissa placed her hand on his arm and he glanced up at her pleadingly.

“Lukas didn’t know about the promise, or his mother’s immunity. He had no idea Helena had sought him out intentionally. In the northern community, we didn’t know her as Ericka’s daughter. She acted nothing like we’d heard,” Marissa said. There was something in her voice that I couldn’t quite figure out. It almost seemed defensive or like suppressed anger, but her face didn’t betray anything.

It was as if a ton of bricks were settling on my shoulders. Each word of my mother pushed a bit of my soul out of me, and I struggled to keep myself together. Tristan’s hand wrapped around mine and clutched at his fingers.

“At first, Elin seemed normal. Like she was protecting you from the infection. Always watching and waiting for signs. Everything just changed slowly. I couldn’t even figure out if she wanted you to be Lycan or not. You probably don’t remember, but when you were four, you got really sick. You were in the hospital for weeks. The doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with you. Elin, she went crazy, talking about losing everything and... I couldn’t handle it. So I left.”