Warning Track (26 page)

Luke smiled, actually smiled, and nodded. After his chat with his doctor, he felt like there was a fighting chance in hell for him to finally let everything go and start to heal again.

On his way back to the apartment, he thought about how he was going to try to be more open with Molly…more honest with her and try his damndest to make things work for them; he needed to because he needed her like oxygen, not having her in his life was proving to not be an option.

When he walked into the apartment and went to put his things in Winnie’s room, he heard moaning coming from Molly’s room. Everything he was just telling himself about Molly flew right out the window as a bloody rage ran through Luke’s veins. He stormed toward Molly’s room and threw the door open, hoping to beat some innocent man’s face in. When the door flew open, she screamed as she lifted herself from her bed, exposing her bare breasts with a shocked look on her face.
 

“What the fuck?” he shouted as he looked around the room for the man who was making her moan. “Where the fuck is he? I’m going to fucking kill him.”

Luke walked toward the bed and ripped the sheets off in one quick movement, exposing Molly’s nakedness completely. Instead of finding a man in bed with Molly, he found a battery operated device in the hand that wasn’t covered by a bright pink cast. At the same moment, the neighbor’s door slammed, making Luke cringe from the noise that brought him back to a dark place. His heart rate picked up as well as his breathing as he tried to rein in the black space that was trying to take over his mind.
 

“What the fuck are you doing with that?” he raged, as he gestured toward Molly’s neon-colored love stick.
 

“I think it’s kind of obvious, isn’t it?” she replied in a snarky tone, not bothering to cover up her body.
 

Mixed emotions of lust, the rapid beat of his heart, and the impending darkness that tried to take over, had Luke feeling like he was slipping into a dark oblivion. It was all too much for him to handle.
 

“Get fucking dressed; you look like a damn whore,” he screeched as he stood in place, looking at her, not knowing what else to do or say. He knew he was handling the whole situation completely wrong and Dr. Drake would scold him for acting like a madman, but Luke couldn’t control anything that came out of his mouth at this point.
 

She didn’t listen, instead she spread her legs for him to see her arousal and played with her nipple.
 

“By the bulge in your pants, I can tell you don’t want me to get dressed.”

Luke looked down and was annoyed with himself. He was annoyed with the situation in general, and he was extremely annoyed with the neighbors. He was two seconds from charging over there and ripping their door off the hinges to end the damn torture device that sat across the hall.
 

“You can fuck off,” Luke replied like a mature adult as he turned away and walked toward Winnie’s room.
 

Molly apparently didn’t want to fuck off because she went after him and pushed his shoulder with her good hand.
 

“Don’t just walk away, fight Luke, fight for us. I’m so sick of seeing the hollow shell of a man I used to know. Fight for us, damn it!”

Luke turned around and looked Molly up and down. He was so fucking mad at her, for some unknown reason, and seeing her pleasuring herself only brought back those feelings of not being needed by her, like he was easily replaced. If she was horny, if she needed a release, she should have asked him, not that she would because he was practically a monster around her, but he still needed that reassurance that she needed him.
 

“Why would I fucking fight for us when I can’t even stand to look at you? You think you’re some hot piece of shit who can win any man? Newsflash, Molly, you’re an almost fucking thirty-year-old with stretch marks and crow’s feet. You wear too much make up and you act like a damn teenager, wearing next to nothing most of the time. You’re a piss-poor example for your daughter and for the kids you teach, no wonder she doesn’t live here.”

The look of shock on Molly’s face should have clued him in to the fact that he needed to snap out of the funk he was in, but he couldn’t. There were too many factors running through his mind and he needed distance, he needed it before he lost himself into the black abyss and actually physically harmed her again.
 

Tears streamed down Molly’s face as her hand raised to slap him. He braced for impact, but she stopped herself. Instead, she wiped her tears and said, “The reason my daughter is not here is because I don’t want her exposed to your unnecessary evil. You are the reason why she is not here, you are the reason why I have stretch marks from giving birth to our daughter and crow’s feet from the stress of losing you. You are the reason why I dress like a teenager, to get your attention. And the reason why I wear a lot of makeup is because I’m trying to put on a fake façade for the whole damn world, so they think that I’m doing just fine, when in fact I’m slowly dying inside each and every fucking day of my life by not having you by my side, by not having the man I fell in love with in my arms. I miss him!” she sobbed into her hands. She turned and punched the door with her good hand as she walked back to her bedroom. “I fucking miss him!” she screamed again as she slammed the door to her bedroom, leaving Luke alone to think about what she just said.
 

Chapter Twelve

**Molly**

“Go with the white, it looks gorgeous on you,” Molly complimented Jane.

“I don’t know, I feel so big in white. Don’t you think black might be better?” Jane held up the other dress option she had for the Braves’ Christmas party. “I just think the black might be more flattering. No one wants to see a giant pregnant woman showing off her body in a tight white dress.”

“First off, you’re not giant, you have a little belly, which is adorable and secondly, you know that whale of a human, Lucy, is going to wear black and you don’t want to look like her.”

“Molly’s right, you’re not giant and Molly would know. When she was pregnant, it was like she was giving birth to Sasquatch,” Albert chimed in as he lay across Jane’s bed with his feet kicked up in the air, holding a glass of champagne.
 

“Hey!” Molly pushed Albert. “I was not that big…”

“You were so big, you couldn’t shave your legs and you walked around in the humid Atlanta air poking people with your Cousin It legs. You made children cry!” Albert exaggerated.
 

“One child cried because I knocked his ice cream cone by accident. I got him a new one.”

“You threw money at him, quarters to be exact, and walked away shouting how children were always getting in the way, while pieces of his ice cream cone were stuck in your leg hair,” Albert countered.
 

Jane was laughing in the background as Molly and Albert sparred.
 

“You are so fucking far gone right now; there were no pieces of cone.”

“How would you know? You couldn’t reach your belly button if you wanted to!”

“Just like you now,” Molly smirked, causing Albert to gasp and suck in his bear-like belly.
 

Screeching, he said, “How dare you! I have lost two pounds! I’m starting to get a curvy figure.” Albert patted his sides, showing off his not-so-curvy figure…more like rotund figure, but the girls would never say such things to him. He would end up crying for days.
 

“You look amazing,” Jane patted Albert on the cheek. “Alright, I’m going to go with the white, but just because I think it will look stellar with my teal heels and I really enjoy the slit that’s on the side. I think it will make Brady go crazy.”

“Agreed. You can get that man all worked up and then bring him over to my place,” Albert wiggled his eyebrows.
 

“Keep dreaming, Alby,” Molly said, as she picked up Jane’s shoes and examined them.
 

“Speaking of dreaming, how is that dream boat of yours?” Albert asked, while grabbing the shoe and inspecting the red sole for himself.

Jane and Albert rarely asked about Luke because they knew it was an extremely sensitive subject for Molly, but apparently, Albert didn’t care much. They really hadn’t talked about Luke ever since the wrist incident and Molly had a feeling it was because they had different ideas about Luke than she did. She could see it in Jane’s eyes when she picked Molly up from the hospital; there was pity and doubt in her eyes. Molly hated that, more than anything, she hated pity…especially from Jane.

Needing to talk to someone, to get some things off her chest, Molly decided to open up to Jane and Albert, even though they might not approve of her decisions, not like they ever did, but in the past they had good reason not to, especially when she was wasting her life away.
 

“Alright, we’re kind of stuck in this neutral zone where we live in the same place, but don’t really talk to each other…we’re just cordial. He’ll make me coffee in the morning and I’ll make sure there’s always dinner ready…which he usually eats in Winnie’s room. When he’s in the apartment, he’s always in her room. I don’t dare go in there because I don’t know what kind of mood he’ll be in, but I so desperately want to. I want to talk to him; I want to find out why he’s so cruel one minute, but loving the next. I want to know what’s going on in that brain of his, but he won’t talk to me. He’ll just smile, if he’s in the mood, and then go to Winnie’s room. It’s been a few weeks now and there’s been no progress. I miss my daughter. I want her back; I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m not saving the man I thought I could, I’m just prolonging the inevitable.”

Molly put her head in her hands and tried to will back the tears that threatened to fall.
 

“I’m tired,” she continued. “I’m so fucking tired of worrying if he’s going to barge into my room at night and try to harm me, I’m tired of locking my door and putting my dresser in front of it every night, and I’m tired of living in an atmosphere where the tension is so thick I can barely breathe. I’m constantly walking on eggshells around him, just waiting for him to explode any minute, to see his pupils dilate so all you can see is black and his body stiffen, as if the devil is taking over his body and soul. I don’t know how much more I can take.”

Both Albert and Jane were silent for a second as Molly tried to gather herself. Molly felt the bed dip as Jane sat next to her and put her arm around her shoulders. Albert came up from behind and did the same. She was encased by her two best friends and that was all it took, a violent sob escaped her mouth as she cried into her hands while her friends held onto her.
 

Jane cooed in her ear as she tried to calm Molly down. Once Molly’s sobs turned into whimpers, Jane said, “You know I love you and we’ve been through so much together and I believe in the love you and Luke once shared, but do you think it’s still there? Do you think there’s still a chance that you two can go back to what you used to be?”

“I want to believe we can, but I just don’t know anymore. He’s not the same man. He’s lost himself and I don’t think there’s any return in sight.” Molly took a deep breath and continued, “There are moments where I think he might come back to me, that the demons that flood his brain might finally be going away, but then his eyes go dark again and he retreats away from me. I just don’t know what to do. I want to save him, but I have a daughter to think about now. Before I try to save him, I think I have to save myself first, save the life I share with Winnie.”

“I think you might be right,” Jane concurred. “I love Luke, you know I do, but he’s in a different place right now and you can’t do anything to help him. You’ve tried and it doesn’t seem like it’s working. He has to figure this out on his own. You’ve tried, Molls, but you’ve only end up getting hurt and I don’t know how much more worrying I can do. I can’t stand the thought of you alone in your apartment with him; it scares the shit out of me.”

“I know, me too.”

Jane hugged Molly tighter as Albert retreated. Molly looked over at him and noticed he was distancing himself, something very un-Albert like.
 

“What do you think?” Molly asked, as she tried to gauge what Albert was thinking.
 

Albert played with the cuffs on his shirt, avoiding eye contact. Molly started to get irritated because she knew Albert had something to say and it was never like him to keep his mouth shut.
 

“Just fucking tell me what’s on your mind,” Molly raised her voice as she pulled away from Jane and got in Albert’s face. “If you have something to say, just say it. It’s not like you to keep that loud mouth of yours quiet.”

“Molly…” Jane tried to calm her down, but it wasn’t helping. She didn’t like the way Albert was avoiding her, plus her emotions were already in full melt-down mode; there was no stopping her.
 

“Come on, Alby. Let’s hear it.”

Albert shot off of the bed and turned on Molly so fast, she thought he might have pulled a muscle, because never in all the years she’d known him had he ever moved so quickly.
 

“You want to know what I think? I think you’re giving up too easily. Luke is sick. Sick, Molly!! Just because it’s getting too hard doesn’t mean you should just give up on him. What kind of person would that make you? To give up on him when he needs you the most.”