What If It's Love?: A Contemporary Romance Set in Paris (Bistro La Bohème Book 1) (19 page)

Lena giggled.

Anton said in a more serious tone, “It has to
do with who I am. No amount of money can  change the fact that I’m a
frugal factory worker’s son. So I simply can’t bring myself to throw away a
piece of clothing that isn’t worn out.”

Anton returned the blazer to its remote
corner and drew the closet door shut. “Well, now my dirty little secret is out
of the closet, so to speak. But I count on you, Lena, not to reveal it to a
living soul.”

“Your secret is safe with
me . . . but there’s a price. I’m going to continue buying you
colorful ties, and you’ll wear them.”

Anton sighed in resignation. “It’s a deal.
But only the ties. Don’t even think about getting me red socks for Father’s
Day.”

Ever since the “closet episode”, Lena had
respected Anton’s sartorial wishes to the letter. If she bought him clothing,
it was monochrome. The only the notable exception were the ties. This time she
picked vermillion red and magenta. She was about to head to the cashier when it
dawned on her that she should also buy something for Dmitry. That’s what young
women did at Christmastime—they bought presents for their boyfriends.

After Anna’s memorable fundraiser, Lena and Dmitry saw each other almost
every day. Dmitry was conducting an old-fashioned unhurried kind of courtship
that Lena had believed extinct in the twenty-first century. They had spent a
month filled with outings, get-togethers and excursions before she’d admitted
to herself these were
dates
. He hadn’t made the slightest attempt to
spend the night with her.

They were past the hand-holding and kissing milestones, though. And a
couple of days ago Dmitry stroked Lena’s cheek in a way she could only describe
as erotically charged. It happened when she read him her favorite Pasternak
poem. Why on earth she couldn’t bring herself to read her translations to him,
Lena couldn’t fathom. Dmitry’s French good and his critiques of her academic
writing insightful.

The only thing that annoyed her was that Anton wasn’t pleased with their
relationship. When she asked him why, he initially brought up their age
difference. But he stopped after she remarked that he wasn’t the ideal person
to lecture her on the subject, what with him being happily married to a woman
twelve years his junior. So now, he’d just say that Dmitry was wrong for Lena.
He couldn’t specify why or how—just wrong.

Which was exasperating because the way she looked at it, Dmitry was
uniquely right for her. A solid, reliable and open-minded man, he practiced
kung fu and meditation. He was a
good
person. He made her feel
magnanimous and beautiful—a balm for her bruised heart.

He would cherish her. He would protect her from the world.

* * *

Lena woke up to the ring of her phone that
felt like a fire alarm blaring inside her head. She fumbled for her watch—it
was past noon. Her mouth was dry and her head was pounding. She had spent the
previous night in the company of her father, Anna, and a few other family
members and friends celebrating the New Year and Anna’s birthday, which fell on
January first. Lena had enjoyed herself and had returned to her apartment at
three in the morning—an hour Anton would have strongly disapproved of,
had she not been partying with him.

She scrambled to her desk and picked up the
phone. Her hello came out so husky it was hardly audible.

“Hi, darling, are you all right?”

Lena cleared her throat. “I’m fine—just
had too much to drink last night, I guess.”

“I see,” Dmitry said with slight edge in his
voice.

He had told Lena several times he didn’t
expect to be invited to Anna’s birthday party. And he’d made other plans for
New Year’s Eve, anyway.

“Did I wake you up?” he asked, his voice more
cheerful.

“Yes, but it’s OK. I don’t like getting up
late, it ruins the whole day for me.”

“Listen, how about I get some fresh
croissants and then make us an omelet. We can have an improvised brunch. Do you
have any eggs?”

Lena smiled. Dmitry didn’t do improvised,
which was why his efforts to make it sound as though the idea had just occurred
to him were so endearing.

“Yes, I’m sure I have eggs, and butter, too.
I may even find some milk. So let’s see how good your omelets are.”

“I’ll be there in forty-five minutes.”

Lena would bet anything in the world that he
would be, too.

When he arrived, she was fully awake and
presentable. He handed her the bag with croissants, went straight to the
kitchen, and washed his hands. Turned out his omelets were really good, or
maybe Lena was really hungry. She finished her serving in record time and
reached for a croissant.

Dmitry took much longer to finish his
serving. He was suspiciously quiet and preoccupied. But before Lena could ask
what was bothering him, he rummaged in the pockets of his jacket and placed a
small black box in front of Lena.

She swallowed hard and stared at the box.
It
couldn’t be
 . . .

“Lena,” he said, looking down at his plate. “I
 . . .
I’m going to say this quickly, because it isn’t easy.”
He paused to take a long breath.

Her muscles tensed. She didn’t want him to
say it. She wasn’t ready for him to say it. She’d been expecting Dmitry to make
a move to deepen their relationship, but this wasn’t exactly the kind of move
she had anticipated. And yet
 . . .
how could it be otherwise? Dmitry was so old-fashioned and chivalrous
about the whole courtship thing. He probably felt he couldn’t sleep with her without
having proposed first.

He looked up at her. “I adore you. You are
all I’ve ever dreamed of in a woman. Will you be my wife?”

He opened the box that contained an
expensive-looking engagement ring.

“Are you sure about this?” she asked. “Shouldn’t
we
 . . .
get to know each
other better before contemplating marriage?”

“Lena, I’m thirty-five years old, and I’ve
had enough relationships in the past to know what I’m doing. If you feel you
need more time, then by all means, take as much time as you need before giving
me your answer.”

She nodded.

“I just want you to know where you stand with
me.” He shut the box, put it into Lena’s hand, and closed her fingers around
it. “Will you keep this while you’re considering my proposal?”

She nodded once more.

After he left, Lena began to pace her living
room, the velvet-covered box burning her balled up hand. She had been
comfortable going out with Dmitry, holding hands with him, even kissing him.
She thought she was ready for more, but not so much more. And it wasn’t because
she doubted he was her Mr. Right. She didn’t. It was because she
still
hadn’t been able to purge her heart of her Mr. Wrong.

It had now been five months since she last saw Rob, but he continued to
burst into her thoughts every day, unannounced, and usually at most
inconvenient times. And each time, she needed all her cool and composure to
clear the bittersweet poison that lingered on her tongue after those
incursions.

* * *

“Wow, Lena!” Anna sat down and blinked a few
times, processing the news. “You’re still very young. You need to think about
this seriously and take your sweet time.”

“That’s my intention, but it won’t change the
fact that Dmitry—”

“Yes, yes, Dmitry may be the perfect man, but
you need to be sure he’s perfect
for you
.” Anna gently wiped Katia’s
mouth and turned back to Lena. “Did you run the ‘last specimen test’ on him?”

“Um, I’m not sure I know what that is.”

“So, you didn’t then. I knew it.” Anna shook
her head and slid her chair closer to Lena. “My dear, you don’t want to marry
someone without having run this test, believe me. It’s vital.”

“OK . . . if you say so. But
since I have no clue as to what it is, will you save me from my ignorance?”
Lena grinned, expecting a good laugh.

Anna smiled back and rolled up her sleeves. “Here
goes. Close your eyes and imagine that humanity is about to be wiped out.”

Lena closed her eyes as instructed. “What’s
causing Armageddon?”

“Nasty aliens. Or an evil genius. It doesn’t
matter. What matters is that you, Lena, have been marked to be spared.”

Lena rubbed her hands. “Because I have secret
superpowers?”

“No, your number just came up randomly. But
that doesn’t matter either. What matters is that you’re allowed to save one man—only
one—by marrying him.”

Lena opened her eyes and gave her stepmother
a quizzical look. “Anna, where are you going with this?”

“Stay focused and keep your eyes shut please.
Now imagine that the man you’ll choose to marry will become the last remaining
specimen of the human male on this planet. No alternative. No options. No escape.
Till death do you part. Amen.”

Lena’s smile began to fade. She wasn’t
finding Anna’s extravagant scenario as funny as she had expected. She opened
her eyes and glanced at Anna.

The older woman was no longer smiling,
either. “What I’m trying to get you to determine is whether you’re prepared to
renounce all those
other
men for Dmitry.”

“There are no
other
men. I’m not
seeing anyone else,” Lena said, pretending to have misunderstood.

“Of course you aren’t.” Anna patted Lena’s
hand. “What I mean is the
possibility
of other men.”

Anna gave Lena an expressive look that said,
You
know what I mean. And I know that you know.

“Listen to me, honey. After you’re married,
there’ll be situations in your life when you’ll meet someone great. Someone
handsome, clever, funny. Someone who’s not your husband.”

Anna looked straight into Lena’s eyes, daring
her to imagine that guy. “A square-jawed alpha male with gray eyes?”

“Not impressed,” Lena said impishly.

“OK, then a dark, brooding beta. Whatever
turns you on, baby. Hot guys come in different shapes and at most unexpected
times. Maybe you’ll meet him through work, maybe through friends.”

When Lena began to bite her nails, Anna threw
her hands up. “I’m not being mean. This kind of stuff does happen in life,
Lena. All the time. And what if that hunk developed a crush on you? Would you
prepared to forgo him for Dmitry? Would you be able not to flirt with him, not
to encourage him, never to give him the slightest chance?”

Somehow, without any conscious decision on
Lena’s part, the “hunk” morphed into Rob
. A
nd
she found herself wondering. Would she indeed?

Anna continued her onslaught. “Would you keep
asking yourself what it could be like with him? Are you in a place with Dmitry
where there isn’t a shadow of a doubt in your mind that you’d give up on this
other guy without hesitation and without regret?”

“I don’t know. Is it at all possible to be
sure about this?” Lena asked honestly.

“Yes, Lena, it is. I was sure when I married
your dad. I still am,” Anna said with a soft smile. “Can you think of someone
in your past, an ex or an unrequited flame, who you’d feel that way about?”

The question gave Lena pause because the
answer that formed in her mind immediately was yes. Yes, she could think of
someone in her past who would have been enough, for whom she would have given
up all other options without hesitation or regret.

Had he not betrayed her trust. Had she not
cut him off to protect herself from heartbreak.

“Nope. Can’t think of anyone,” she finally
said and reached over to take Katia in her arms.

“Anyway,” she told the
little girl, kissing her hamster cheeks and breathing in her ambrosial baby
essence. “If those wicked aliens really gave me the power to save a life, it
would be yours, my angel, without a shadow of a doubt.”

That night Lena phoned Jeanne. She was still
planning to give Dmitry’s proposal serious consideration, but after having
talked to Anna, she needed to know if Rob was still single. She knew that even
if he was, it wouldn’t mean he still wanted to be with her. It wouldn’t mean
she’d give him a second chance. It wouldn’t mean anything at all
 . . .
and yet, it suddenly became vital that she know.

Jeanne didn’t wait for Lena to finish
stammering her question. “He’s with Amanda now. I saw it on her recent profile
update. I’m sorry, Lena.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. She’s a
much better match for him than I could ever be.”

* * *

As soon as she was married, Lena lifted her Facebook moratorium and
posted a few wedding pictures. Congratulations and good wishes began to arrive
within minutes of her update. She checked them hourly until she read a short
note from Rob wishing her all the happiness she deserved.

She replied.

Thank you, and all the best.

Pepe sent her a warm message full of good wishes and eccentric advice on
married life. He ended it with a postscript.

After
comparing your husband to
you know who
, I can only assume he must
compensate in OTHER areas. Mind you, it will have to be a BIG compensation.