What She Left Us (12 page)

Her
breath caught in her throat at the sight of him. Perfect, familiar Darren, the
love of her life. How could she have let him go?

“Jenna.
Hi.”

“Hi.”
Seeing him brought all those feelings to the surface, and she thought she might
cry right then and there, but she tried to keep it together. “Hi. Um. Do you
have a few?”

“I
kind of have company.”

She
swallowed, a pitted feeling forming in her stomach. “Company?”

Then,
from inside of the condo, toward the back, in the kitchen, Jenna heard her.
“Dare, who is it?”

Jenna’s
face fell.

Dare?

“She’s
just a friend. From work. We’re on shift together.” Darren said.

“Sure.
Yeah, okay.”

She
finally exhaled. She hadn't realized she wasn't breathing.

That’s
when Jenna made a decision. There had been an idea, a tiny speck of an inkling
making its way in the back of her mind for a little while. After her mother
died, and then the diagnosis came along, the idea that had been forming for a
while began to grow. Seeing Darren – in his plain white T-shirt, familiar khaki
shorts with the frayed edges, day-old scruff along the cheeks she used to kiss
– seeing him there like that brought her idea to completion. For however well
she thought she knew him, maybe she didn’t know him at all. Her mind was made
up.

She
took a deep breath, removed her sunglasses from her face and placed them on top
of her head. She wanted Darren to be able to look her in the eyes when she told
him this. For him to see she wasn’t kidding around, that she was dead serious.
Because this was going to be his last chance. His last chance to make it right
if he ever wanted to. The thought of another woman roaming around in his house,
opening kitchen drawers and taking out the whisk that she bought, grabbing
orange juice from the fridge – doing things in there that she should have been
doing – well, that was enough to make Jenna sure that what she was going to say
was the right thing to say.

“I
came by to let you know I’m moving. I’m going to live near Courtney. She and I
both have the disease that Mom died from and I’m going to go be with her. I
thought you’d want to know. Blood’s apparently thicker than water and it’s obvious
now that you never gave a damn about me.”

And
with that, Jenna turned on her heels and walked out of Darren's life.

“Do
you want another slice?” Mitch and Courtney were on his bed, books strewn
everywhere, and a half-eaten pizza lay in the midst of the mess.

“Half
a piece,” Courtney said, and rubbed her stomach.

“I
think you’re good for a whole piece,” Mitch grinned.

She
grabbed the slice of tomato spinach he held out to her. “How do you know me
this well already?” It had only been a week since she got back from fall break,
and they were already practically inseparable. Everyone on the dorm floor had
their suspicions, and Courtney had to inform her supervisor of their
relationship. Before she did though, she talked with Mitch about it. It had
been one of those first late nights, when they were laying in her bed, his arm tight
around her, she tucked into the crook of his, the length of her body warm against
his.

“So,
what exactly is going on with us?” she asked.

“You
tell me,” he said.

“Um,
I like to hear it from the guy,” Courtney said.

“Well,
I’m not interested in hanging out with anyone else, if that’s what you’re
wondering.”

 “Yeah,
that’s what I’m kinda wondering. Okay,” Courtney sighed.

“Okay
then. You happy?” he asked.

She
rolled over on top of him, only a sheet covered her, and he grabbed her at the
waist.

“Yep.
I’m happy.” She leaned over him and kissed his face, her bangs tickling his
forehead. He swept them away and touched her eyebrows, then caressed her bare
shoulder.

“I
do have to tell the head of the department though,” Courtney said. “There’s
something in the rule book about dating students.”

“Who
says anything about dating?”

“Hey!”
She smacked his naked chest.

“Oh
so now you’re into S&M?” Mitch said.

“Me
and Rihanna.”

“No,
that’s cool. Tell whoever you’ve got to tell. I wonder how these morons are going
to react?” He motioned his arm toward the door.

“Who
knows, who cares,” Courtney said, and she leaned down again to kiss him some
more.

And
by the end of the week, there was the beginning of some buzz of their
relationship among the students. Mitch and Courtney weren’t going around the
halls making out and holding hands, but they weren’t exactly inconspicuous when
it came to leaving each others’ rooms or chatting up close in the hallway. Bren
and Angie actually came up to Courtney and asked for the scoop, and Courtney just
smiled, while Remy blatantly said to Mitch, “Hey dude, you bagged the RA!”

Courtney
tried to be cool about the whole thing. She hoped it would die down and
everyone would find something else to focus on, something important, like their
studies. She just wanted to be in the moment and finally have a boyfriend for
once and not have to worry about anybody or anything else for a while. Didn’t
she deserve that much after all that she’d recently been through? She had all
but forgotten about the blood test she had taken when she was with her sister.

Jenna
grabbed the mail and closed the mailbox at her mother’s house. She had no idea
how to stop junk mail from coming. Fliers for Hobby Lobby, discount cards for
Kohl’s, and grocery papers were filling the box. Jenna continued to pick up the
mail as if there was nothing wrong. As if her mother was simply on a vacation.
A world cruise maybe.

She
and Court had to get the house cleared out and on the market so then the junk
mail could be someone else’s problem. Let some other family open up the
Val-Pak, pluck out the pizza coupon and toss the rest.

They
were going to have to do this soon too, and it wasn't likely that it would
happen over Thanksgiving break. Probably over Courtney’s winter break, and despite
the pain she felt about the loss over Darren, she finally felt relief knowing
she had the next phase of her life figured out. Her mind was made up – she was
definitely going to go be with Courtney.

They
had plenty of money – their mom had a will, and had left everything to them,
not that it was much, but enough for them to get by. Since Jenna was still
enrolled in college, she had remained on her mother's health insurance plan,
and Courtney was covered too, which was Jenna's main concern now – impending
health bills. With a sale of the house at the first of the year, they both
would be okay. Everything was going to work out fine.

She
was back at her mom’s to check on the house and then the next day she was
heading to Courtney’s. When she got there, she’d sit Courtney down and tell her
they would fight this disease together. Now that Jenna had a few days to let it
sink in, she felt better about the diagnosis. She scoured the Internet, found
some survivor sites and some FAQs that helped a lot. She read about some people
her own age that had hemochromatosis and were living with the disease. Doing
this kind of research put Jenna's mind at ease for the moment – to know that
there were people out there who could survive and live healthy lives, it made
her feel better about the future.

As
for Darren, well, it had seemed that Darren had made up his own mind about the
two of them and what their future would be. She hadn't heard a word from him.

As
Jenna turned to walk back up to her mom’s house, she cringed. There was no
escaping it. Mrs. Crand walked toward her. She had never really cared for the
woman, not since she had to stay with her when she was little. Mrs. Crand had
made Jenna clean out her cat box that whole summer, and forced her to brush out
the knots of fur in those mangy cats she owned, and practically force-fed her
nasty cookies that tasted like they were made with cat litter.

Mrs.
Crand had told her horrible stories that summer about her sister and what they
were probably doing to her when she was in the hospital too, so much so that
Jenna was traumatized as a child and was afraid to go near Courtney when she
was a baby, for fear she would get sick too, or worse, that she would maybe
kill her sister. And the worst was Mrs. Crand had haunted her with stories
about what happened to little girls who didn’t do what they’re told. She even
told Jenna that she had a basement full of little girls who hadn’t done exactly
what she said once when Jenna had mouthed off to her.

It
had been the worst summer of her childhood, adjusting to a new sister, then
having her taken away to the hospital. She had missed her parents, was scared
for her baby sister, and then Jenna had to stay with that horrible woman every
single day, and she remembered it with a fierce bitterness. After that, Jenna never
liked Mrs. Crand.

Growing
up next door to the wretched woman, Jenna did her best to avoid her, although
her mother always demanded she was polite to Mrs. Crand when they ran into her.
Before her mom died, she told her Mrs. Crand was suffering from dementia. Jenna
thought of this as the old woman, flanked by some cats, made her way up to
greet Jenna by the mailbox.

“Mrs.
Crand, how are you?” Jenna forced a smile.

“Veronica!
How many times have I told you, it’s Gertie. Call me Gertie.”

Jenna
stilled at the mention of her mother’s name, and a lump caught in her throat. Of
course she would mistake her for her mother. The dementia.

“Oh,
but no, Mrs. Cra—”

“Gertie,
please.”

Jenna
took a deep breath and searched the old woman’s faded blue eyes. Her hair was
cloud white and sparse, and there were faint white eyelashes wisping around her
eyes. Wrinkles mapped a face that held a lot of pain, she could tell. Jenna
reached down to pet one of the two calicos that were circling her ankles.

“You
still have your cats?” she asked.

“Of
course dear,” she answered, as if it was the silliest thing in the world to
ask. “How is your baby doing? I heard her crying the other night.”

My
baby? Oh yes, she thinks I’m Mom. Go with it.

“The
baby is fine, thank you,” Jenna answered.

“She’s
back from the hospital then?”

“Yes.”
Jenna took a deep breath.

“How
is her health?”

“Good,
thanks for asking.”

Things
didn’t change. This woman was still as nosy as ever.
Jenna remembered the woman pickling her with questions about her parents and
her sister every single second she was at her house that miserable summer.
Lonely
old woman.

“You
know you hardly gained any weight with this pregnancy. I remember with your
first one, if I may, you were big as a hippo,” she laughed, a genuine healthy
laugh. Jenna couldn’t help but laugh with her. She felt sorry for this woman and
what she had been through, and wondered how sad her life must have been if
these were the things she fixated on so many years ago.

“And
you’re skinny as a rail already, so soon after the baby.” Mrs. Crand continued,
“Truly, I bet you didn’t gain five pounds with Courtney.”

Jenna,
still kneeling down to rub the cat stretched out on his back, stopped and
looked up. “You know my sister’s name?”

“You
mean your daughter? Of course I do,” Mrs. Crand continued. “It was like all of
a sudden! There was all that crying, and that screaming baby there, right next
door. Had I known, I would have loved to throw you a baby shower. But no. You
were straight as a stick – so thin! Like you were keeping her a big secret
about town. But then there she was, screaming. So loud. And then your darling
little other girl, Jenna, came by to keep me company that summer. She was a
great help you know. Just darling. Helping me with the kittens, and all.”

Jenna
stood up and searched Mrs. Crand’s etched face.

“That
was the first summer I was without Harold. She kept my mind off the loss. Oh
dear, I still miss him every day.”

Jenna
nodded.

“How
old are the girls, about ten and fifteen by now? It sure does go by fast,
doesn’t it, Veronica? And the baby? When are you due again? I’d love to host a
shower for you.”

Jenna
smiled at Mrs. Crand, feeling sorry for the old woman. She’d had a hard life,
and Jenna should have shown more compassion.

“I
would like that Mrs. um, Gertie, thank you.”

“But
promise me this time you’ll actually gain weight with your pregnancy. Put some
meat on those bones. It’s for your own good. You need to fatten yourself up
with this baby, like you did with uh, your first one … uh, Jenna. Perhaps
that’s why she cried all of the time – because you didn’t get enough nutrition
when you were pregnant and your baby was lacking,” Mrs. Crand stated.

“Like
I said, I would have never guessed you were pregnant unless I hadn’t heard that
crying baby every single day once you came home. That poor baby. She cried for
months didn’t she? How is she, by the way?”