Read William Shakespeare's Star Wars Online

Authors: Ian Doescher

Tags: #Humor, #General

William Shakespeare's Star Wars (6 page)

BOOK: William Shakespeare's Star Wars
6.66Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

TARKIN
Enough! This endless bickering shall end.

Lord Vader shall provide the setting of

The errant rebel base before the time

This station shall be operational.

And then, my friends, the Empire shall rejoice—

Rebellion shall be crush’d in one swift stroke!

Now get ye gone, fulfill this purpose grand.

[Exeunt Imperial generals and Senators, including Admiral Motti and Commander Tagge
.

VADER
My troopers on the planet Tatooine

Have trac’d the creatures who have found the droids.

We shall retrieve those plans.

TARKIN
—’Tis well, ’tis well.

Thou ever wert a faithful servant to

The Emperor, Lord Vader. Prithee, go,

And take with thee a gov’nor’s gratitude.

[Exit Darth Vader
.

There goes a man who hath a mind to serve.

The Emperor doth hold him in his grasp,

And lays a claim upon his heart and soul.

Well I recall when, as a younger man,

The Emperor and Vader with me stood

And contemplated our shar’d destiny.

Now Vader, split ’twixt manhood and machine,

Fulfills a vital place within my plans.

Aye, though I fear the Force, he knows his place.

He knoweth he and I stand side by side—

Together wrapp’d in power’s warm embrace—

Our Emperor to serve until, at last,

The final curtain of life’s play is dropp’d.

As history hath made this Tarkin great,

This battle station now shall make me fear’d.

I am as constant as the Endor moon,

And shall rebellion crush, and do it soon.

[Exit Grand Moff Tarkin
.

SCENE 4.

The desert planet Tatooine
.

Enter
O
BI
-W
AN
K
ENOBI
, L
UKE
S
KYWALKER
, C-
3
PO,
and
R
2
-D
2
,
surrounded by Jawa corpses
.

LUKE
It seemeth that the Sand People have done

This wretched deed—yon gaffi sticks and tracks

Of bantha, aye. But ne’er in all my years

Have Tuskens gone awry so far as this.

OBI-WAN
And they have not, though they who this vile deed

Have done, would make us think Sand People did.

But hark! Take note, and look ye thereupon:

Yon tracks are side by side, yet Sand People,

’Tis known, e’er one behind the other ride,

So better may they hide their numbers large.

LUKE
These Jawas are the very same who sold

C-3PO—and R2-D2, too—

Unto mine uncle not two days ago.

OBI-WAN
And these marks here, these blast points, are too fine

And accurate for Sand People, ’tis true.

For only stormtroopers by Empire train’d

Are so precise and cunning in their work.

[
Aside:
] Survey’ng this scene, I fear what cometh next,

For certain have the troops more evil done.

Good Owen and Beru no doubt are slain,

And though it breaks my heart to think on it,

It may be that their deaths will spark Luke’s soul,

And lead him unto good rebellion’s cause.

So by their death may others yet find life.

LUKE
But why, say why, would these Imperi’l troops

Have aught to do with Jawas? Wait, I see—

The droids! If they have trac’d them here they may

Have soon discover’d whom they sold them to,

Which—O, my soul!—would lead them to my home!

OBI-WAN
Pray, patience, Luke! ’Tis far too dangerous!

[Luke runs to his landspeeder
.

CHORUS
Now flies Luke off in his landspeeder quick

And finds his home engulf’d in flames of red,

Then spies amid the smoke, so black and thick,

The bodies of his aunt and uncle, dead.

A sadder, wiser man he cometh back,

With noble purpose now his life’s imbu’d.

By wrongful, vicious, cowardly attack,

The Empire hath Luke’s passion quite renew’d.

OBI-WAN
’Twas nothing thou, Luke, couldst have done had thou

Been there. Thou murder’d would have been as well.

Aye, also would the droids now captur’d be

And would be in the Empire’s evil hands.

LUKE
Thou knowest, friend, what I have seen today.

No sorrow like to this have I e’er known.

I wish to come with thee to Alderaan,

For nothing have I here on Tatooine.

Then shall I learn the Force, and shall become

A Jedi like my father. Thus I vow.

So let’s prepare and go upon our way,

With haste may we escape the troopers vile.

[Exeunt Obi-Wan, C-3PO, and R2-D2
.

Adventure have I ask’d for in this life,

And now have I too much of my desire.

My soul within me weeps; my mind, it runs

Unto a thousand thousand varied paths.

My uncle Owen and my aunt Beru,

Have they been cruelly kill’d for what I want?

So shall I never want again if in

The wanting all I love shall be destroy’d.

O fie! Thou knave adventure! Evil trick

Of boyhood’s mind that ever should one seek

To have adventure when one hath a home—

A family so kind and full of love,

Good, steady work, and vast, abundant crops—

Why would one give up all this gentle life

For that one beastly word: adventure? Fie!

But soft, my soul, be patient and be wise.

The sands of time ne’er turnèd backward yet,

And forward marches Fate, not the reverse.

So while I cannot wish for them to live,

I can my life commit unto their peace.

Thus shall I undertake to do them proud

And take whate’er adventure comes my way.

’Tis now my burden, so I’ll wear it well,

And to the great Rebellion give my life.

A Jedi shall I be, in all things brave—

And thus shall they be honor’d in their grave.

[Exit Luke
.

SCENE 1.

Mos Eisley, on the desert planet Tatooine
.

CHORUS
Now, in her cell the princess doth remain,

With hope and trouble written on her face.

At times she faces torture, horrid pain.

With these tools Vader seeks the rebel base.

While Leia in her captive state is kept,

Young Luke and Obi-Wan set on their way.

Approaching town, they hope to intercept

A pilot to transport them sans delay.

Enter
O
BI
-W
AN
K
ENOBI
, L
UKE
S
KYWALKER
, C-
3
PO,
and
R
2
-D
2
,
riding in landspeeder
.

OBI-WAN
Mos Eisley spaceport. Never shalt thou find

A hive more rank and wretched, aye, and fill’d

With villainy. So must we cautious be.

Enter
STORMTROOPERS
.

TROOPER 3
I prithee, speak, how long hast thou these droids?

LUKE
’Tis three or, mayhap, four full seasons now.

OBI-WAN
We are prepar’d to sell them, shouldst thou wish.

CHORUS
Now is the Force to noble purpose us’d—

Not as the Sith, employing it to smite,

Hath through the dark side rank the Force abus’d—

Good Obi-Wan shall use the Force for right.

TROOPER 4
Pray, show me now thy papers.

OBI-WAN
—Nay, thou dost

Not need to see his papers.

TROOPER 4
—Nay, we do

Not need to see his papers.

OBI-WAN
—True it is,

That these are not the droids for which thou search’st.

TROOPER 3
Aye, these are not the droids for which we search.

OBI-WAN
And now, the lad may go his merry way.

TROOPER 3
Good lad, I prithee, go thy merry way!

OBI-WAN
Now get thee hence.

TROOPER 4
—Now get thee hence, go hence!

[Exeunt stormtroopers
.

Enter
J
AWAS
as
O
BI
-W
AN
K
ENOBI
, L
UKE
S
KYWALKER
, C-
3
PO,
and
R
2
-D
2
dismount landspeeder
.

C-3PO
O, how those Jawas vex me!

LUKE
[
to Jawas:
]                                         —Get thee gone!

[Exeunt Jawas
.

Now by my troth, I cannot comprehend

How we those threat’ning stormtroopers did ’scape.

Aye, verily, I thought our end was nigh.

OBI-WAN
The Force hath mighty power o’er the weak

And simple-minded of this universe.

LUKE
Dost thou believe we shall therein, in yon

Dank place, discover any pilot who

Hath means to transport us to Alderaan?

OBI-WAN
A goodly crew of freighter pilots here

May oft be found. But prithee, take good care,

This small cantina hath an ill repute.

LUKE
I find myself prepar’d for ev’rything.

OBI-WAN
[
aside:
] The youth hath vigor—hopef’lly judgment, too.

[They enter the cantina with many beings and an innkeeper
.

CHORUS
Now mark thee well, good viewer, what you see,

Such varied characters are on display!

For never hath there been such company

As in Mos Eisley gathers day by day.

The creatures gather ’round the central bar

While hammerheads and hornèd monsters talk,

A band compos’d of aliens bizarre:

This is the great cantina—thou may’st gawk!

INNKEEP.
[
to Luke:
] A word! Herein we shall not serve their kind—

Thy droids! They must depart beyond these walls.

LUKE
[
to droids:
] Good friends, pray wait beside the speeder now,

For we desire no conflict here today.

C-3PO
I do with all my heart agree, dear Sir.

[Exeunt droids
.

BOOK: William Shakespeare's Star Wars
6.66Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Other books

Mountain of Daggers by Seth Skorkowsky
Pearl Harbour - A novel of December 8th by Newt Gingrich, William R. Forstchen
You Could Be Home by Now by Tracy Manaster
Lifeforce by Colin Wilson
In an Antique Land by Amitav Ghosh
Mad enough to marry by Ridgway, Christie
Witch Hearts by Liz Long
Breaking Free by C.A. Mason
Thornwood House by Anna Romer