Winds of Fortune (7 page)

Reese undressed in the dark and a moment later, settled onto the bed. She lay on her back, her arms by her side. When she spoke, her voice was hollow and flat. “I’m sorry.”

“For what, darling?” Tory inched closer and lay on her side facing Reese. She lightly placed her hand in the center of Reese’s abdomen. Reese’s skin was cool, and her muscles felt stretched tight over bones that were far too prominent. “You need to tell me, because I can’t help you if you don’t.”

Reese gripped the sheets, her body rigid. “I shouldn’t have left like I did tonight.”

Tory waited until the silence stretched so thin she feared the air would shatter like glass. “Why did you?”

“I was ashamed. Ashamed of forcing myself on you.”

“Oh no,” Tory murmured, grasping Reese’s shoulders in both hands and pulling her into her arms. She cradled the back of Reese’s head and pressed Reese’s face to her breasts. She rocked her, bleeding inside with the need to ease her pain. “You could never ever do anything to me that I didn’t want.” She kissed Reese’s forehead. “I love you. I’ve wanted you since the first instant I saw you. I will want you until the moment I die, and if there’s anything beyond that, I’ll want you forever.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing sometimes, Tor. I feel like I’m lost and you’re all I have to hold on to.”

“It’s okay. You hold on to me, darling. You hold on just as tight and just as long as you need to.” If Tory could have pulled Reese inside her body and sheltered her with her very breath and the last drop of her blood, she would have. Instead, she was left with inadequate words and what she feared was an all too fragile strength to fight off whatever monsters shadowed Reese’s soul. She tightened her grip and steeled herself for whatever might come. Reese was her life, and she had nearly lost her half a world away in a godforsaken desert in the midst of a war that no one understood. Now Reese was home again, and she would not lose her to whatever demon had followed her back.

“If I’m ever going to be any good to you again, maybe I need to go back,” Reese whispered in the dark. “Maybe I need to go back and find whatever parts of myself I left over there.”

Tory’s world teetered on the verge of collapse. She wanted to scream
no
, but she stopped herself even though holding back made her feel as if she were dying. She didn’t say no, because what if Reese was right? She didn’t say no, because she didn’t want Reese to know the truth.
I’m not strong enough to let you go. I’m not strong enough to be without you again.

“Promise me you won’t do anything without talking to me first,” Tory said shakily.

“I promise,” Reese whispered. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”

Tory pressed her fingers to Reese’s lips. “Shh. Go to sleep, darling. It’s all right.”

Tory held Reese, wondering if either of them would sleep. As she listened to the lie echo in the stillness, Tory felt her heart breaking.

When Tory awoke, the bed beside her was empty. Heart racing, she threw back the covers, grabbed her robe, and hurried into the hall. Reggie’s crib was empty, and the smell of coffee drifted up the stairs. Immediately, she felt calmer. Reese was downstairs with the baby. She was home, she hadn’t gone anywhere. Taking a deep breath, Tory went to greet her family.

“Hey,” Tory said casually as she bent to kiss Reggie, who was sitting in her high chair in front of the breakfast bar. Her hair smelled like baby shampoo and apples. The apples, she noted, were part of breakfast. Reese still had her desert tan, and her arms and legs in her faded green T-shirt and boxers looked sinewy and lean. Muscle and bone. A fighting machine, but she wasn’t a machine. She was a woman. “Good morning, darling. How did you two get up without me?”

“You were sleeping pretty soundly, so when Reggie started making hungry noises, I got up.” Reese’s eyes held an apology. “You must have been really tired.”

Tory wrapped her arms around Reese’s waist and kissed her. “I slept fine.” She could tell by the circles under Reese’s eyes that she hadn’t. She rubbed her hand over the center of Reese’s chest and kissed her again. “Nita is working today. I’m backup. Any chance you could switch your shifts around and stay home with us?”

“I don’t think so,” Reese said, stroking Tory’s hair. “You know, what with me only being back a few weeks, I think I should be there.”

“Okay. I’ll probably take the baby to the beach with Cath and the kids.” Tory sidled around Reese to the counter and poured coffee. “Dinner then?”

“I’ll try.”

Tory put the pot down and left her cup on the counter beside it. She slid a slice of toast off a plateful and handed it to Reggie, who promptly tore it in half. With the baby occupied, she focused on Reese. “We need you here, Reese. I know how busy things are during the season, but you can’t work twenty-four hours a day. Even if it makes you feel better somehow, it’s not the answer.”

Reese braced both hands against the counter and lowered her head. She was quiet a long moment before meeting Tory’s eyes. “I’m screwing everything up pretty good, aren’t I?”

“No, you’re not.” Tory traced the pink three inch scar that slanted across Reese’s forehead. It was healing well, and before long it would be only a faint reminder of the rifle butt some madman had swung into her face. That shattered collar bone, the burns on her arm, the shrapnel tear in her leg—they would all fade into the background. The real damage was on the inside, and she had no way of judging how deep it went or how permanent it might be. “I’m not going to make any excuses for you, because you’re not doing anything wrong. Just remember that we’re both dealing with something we’ve never had to face before. It might take us a while to figure it out.”

“I was trained to face it,” Reese said angrily. “That’s who I am.”

“And if you hadn’t been so well trained, God only knows what would’ve happened to you and the people who relied on you.” Tory struggled to keep her voice even because she didn’t want to upset Reggie, who thankfully was happily piling stewed apples onto her toast. “You kept them alive. You kept yourself alive. You did your duty.”

“Maybe I missed something. Maybe we ended up separated, cut off, because I wasn’t as sharp as I needed to be. Because I
questioned
why I was there.”

Reese spoke softly, almost to herself, her expression distant. Tory had seen the look before, but this was the first time she realized that Reese was replaying the events surrounding her capture. She had never once imagined that Reese blamed herself for what had happened, because it was so obvious to her that it was Reese’s skill and absolute dedication to her troops that had gotten them all through it. How could she not have realized that Reese would accept all the responsibility, even when she couldn’t have prevented what had transpired? Gently, she grasped Reese’s hand. “Darling, you couldn’t have foreseen that firefight. And from everything you’ve told me, you did exactly what needed to be done.”

“I should get ready for work while the baby finishes breakfast with you,” Reese said, evading Tory’s gaze. “Then I’ll get her dressed if you want to take a shower.” She kissed Tory’s cheek and started to turn away.

Tory clasped Reese’s forearms, holding her in place, forcing Reese to look at her. “I love you with all my heart. Don’t ever walk out on me again. It hurts us both too much.”

Reese pulled Tory into her arms, gripping her so tightly it nearly hurt. “I need you so much, it doesn’t seem fair.”

“I need you every bit as much, I always have.” Tory stroked Reese’s face. “We’ll get through this, darling, I promise.”

Reese kissed her again and Tory felt a tremor go through her. When Reese abruptly let her go, she knew Reese was struggling to contain her desire.

“Don’t. Don’t try not to want me.” Tory framed Reese’s face. “I need you to want me. My need. Not yours. Don’t take that from me.”

Reese covered Tory’s hand and kissed her palm. “I have to go to work.”

“I know. Be careful.”

“Thank you for believing in me.”

“Always.”

Tory watched her walk upstairs, knowing that it didn’t matter what she believed. It only mattered what Reese believed. All she could do was be there for her, which at moments like this didn’t seem like enough.

*

“Oh shit!” Allie jumped out of bed and nearly tripped in the tangle of shoes and clothes next to the bed. “Ow. God damn it.”

Deo bolted upright. “What’s the matter?” She rolled over, yanked open the dresser drawer, and pulled out a .38 Smith & Wesson. Then she leapt upright and threw herself between Allie and the bedroom door. “Did you hear something?”

“Ho! Take it easy!” Allie held her hands out, palms forward. “Deo, baby. Easy. I’m just late for work.”

“Late for work?” Deo looked at her like she was crazy. “Jesus. What do they do, flog you?” She shook her head, breathing hard, and put the gun away. Then she grabbed Allie and kissed her. “Good morning.”

“I’m not going to ask if you have a license—”

“I do, Officer Tremont.” Grinning, Deo kissed her again. “I carry a fair amount of cash for the payroll and other things. I got jumped once in the parking lot on the wharf.”

Allie didn’t mention that Deo had reacted as if she’d expected someone to break in and accost them. She’d slept with her—well, they hadn’t actually done much sleeping. She’d spent the night letting Deo explore just about every part of her body and had revealed a good deal of herself to Deo in the process, but four outstanding orgasms still didn’t give her the right to get personal.

“I’ve got first shift,” Alley said, hastily picking through the clothes on the floor, “and Reese will kick my ass if I’m not on time.” She dropped her panties back into the pile. She couldn’t wear those again. “Shit. I don’t have time to pick up my car at the station, go home, shower, change, and get back to work on time.”

“Is there a plan B?” Deo grabbed her khakis off the floor and pulled them on, not bothering with a shirt.

“I’ve got a spare uniform in my locker, and I can shower here.” Allie grimaced. “’Course I’m still going to have to walk in there with the same clothes on as I was wearing last night. Nothing like announcing I’ve been out all night fucking.” She scanned Deo’s body. Her biceps swelled even when she was relaxed and her chest and abdominal muscles rippled beneath the smooth burnished skin. Despite the hard body, her breasts were just large enough to soften her image. That—in addition to the fact that she opened so beautifully when Allie was inside her—made Deo a spectacularly delicious butch treat. Allie got a flash of how Deo’s stomach tightened when she was about to come and her clit pulsed. “Jesus, you’re sexy. I feel like a cat with a big ball of catnip. I just want to roll around in you.”

“If we weren’t on the clock, I’d drag you back under the sheets. I woke up with an urge.”

“Sorry,” Allie said, patting Deo’s crotch. “I can’t.”

“I know. That’s why I’m going to make you coffee instead of getting into the shower with you. Go.”

“You could give me a break and put a shirt on too.”

Deo laughed and stretched. “Sure.”

On her way to the bathroom, Allie called back, “I don’t suppose you have any underwear that aren’t boxers, do you?”

Deo laughed. “Jockeys?”

“Nevermind.”

Five minutes and a quick shower later, Allie returned to the bedroom with a bath towel wrapped around her to find a steaming cup of coffee on the dresser next to a pair of plain black silk panties. Deo slouched in a scuffed brown leather reading chair by the window with her own cup of coffee balanced on her knee. She’d added a sleeveless grey T-shirt which was an improvement, but Allie still got a rush just looking at her. She scooped up the panties and dangled them on her finger. “Let me guess. You’re a collector.”

“You wound me.”

When Deo absently pulled her T-shirt up and rubbed her bare stomach, Allie felt a sharp twinge of arousal and forced herself to look away. What she really wanted to do was drop the towel and climb onto that chair and rub herself all over Deo’s amazing mouth. She slid on the panties. “Ex-girlfriend?”

“A present from one who liked her packages wrapped a little differently than what I was offering.”

With a shake of her head, Allie walked over and pushed her hand into Deo’s crotch. “Any girl who’d want to change a thing about you doesn’t deserve you.”

“You better quit that,” Deo said, not moving a single muscle. “You’re getting me hard again.”

“That makes two of us.” Allie squeezed Deo for another second and then let go with a groan. “Really really sorry.”

“Get your clothes on so we can get out of here. I’m weakening.”

Allie laughed and pulled on her jeans and top. “Just in case you weren’t sure, last night was great.”

Deo shrugged and collected her keys. Straight faced, she said, “After the third time I figured we were doing okay.”

“More than okay.” Allie kissed her quickly and hurried from the room. Fortunately, they were only a few minutes from the sheriff’s department and there was a chance she might make it
almost
on time.

“Is there anything we need to get clear on?” Deo said as she gunned her truck down Bradford. At seven twenty-five in the morning, vehicular traffic was scarce but the runners and cyclists were already out. She scanned both sides of the road, on the lookout for unwary tourists and frolicking dogs.