All Good Things (23 page)

But, if this was not love, it was a strain of infatuation I had never before entertained.

I pulled back away from Olivia as I tugged on the hem of her shirt. I wanted her naked and surprisingly, I wanted to undress her myself. I'd never undressed a woman. I always had them strip for me. It was a way of letting their subconscious know they were submitting to my demands from the start. But, I didn't want Olivia submitting to me tonight. Tonight, I wanted to be her equal. I wanted to be worthy of her.

I stared into her wide brown eyes as I pulled the fabric up over her head, letting it fall to the floor. I couldn't tear my eyes away from hers as my fingers moved to pull at the drawstrings of her shorts. The pink fabric pooled at her feet, but she did not move. She stood frozen as she waited for me to finish what I started. I knelt down on my knees and pressed my lips to her hipbone. She shivered and I smiled. She was so responsive to me.

She was mine.

The thought rolled through me in violent waves as I looked up into her face. Her wavy brown hair fell over her shoulders as she looked down into my face with tender eyes. This was new to me. The women I engaged with sexually looked at me like I was an abomination. They were with me for the novelty of being with me. Because, I was Jace Rush, and I could, and would, pay them generously for their time. In reality, those women were nothing more than highly paid call girls.

But, this was different.

Olivia was different. She wanted me...for me. I would never understand what she sees in me, but for now, I wouldn't question her insanity. I would take it, and revel in it, because these chances were rare. They were once in a lifetime.

I pressed my lips to her hip once again, trailing my tongue over her navel and along her stomach. I dipped my fingers into her panties, pushing them down her legs as I peppered her stomach with tiny kisses. Her breathing halted and her hands weaved into my hair.

"Step out of your panties, Angel." I coaxed and she complied. She was eager for me...but not nearly as eager as I was to have her...all of her.

I helped her step from the lacy material around her feet before hooking my hands around her ankles. I ran my hands up the backs of her legs, over her butt and farther up her back as I stood. I wanted to touch and kiss every inch of her skin. I wanted to brand her to me. I unclasped her bar and pulled the straps from her shoulders, letting the material reunite with the floor.

I stepped back to admire her body and couldn't help but smile as she shivered under my gaze. Tiny bumps appeared over her skin before a pink blush fought them for dominance.

"Jace," her voice was husky. "I want to feel your skin on mine."

My cock jumped at her words and I fought the primal urge that ignited within me to pull her down on the floor and take her. Tonight was for her. I would take it slow. She deserved to be made love to.

I wanted to make love to her.

"Not yet, Angel." I took her hand in mine and led her to the bed. Her bed. It was smaller than mine, but that just meant we would have to sleep closer. I pulled the covers down, exposing her sheets. "Lay down for me. I want to kiss your entire body."

Heat flamed in her cheeks as she pressed her back into the bed. I released her hand and moved to the foot of the bed, balancing on my knees between her legs. I looped my hand around an ankle, bringing it to my lips. I kissed her heel before moving slowly up her leg. I trailed my tongue over the smooth skin of her inner thigh before inhaling deeply at the apex of her sex. She smelled decadent and I knew she tasted even better. I had her this way before, but I couldn't wait to taste her again. I teased the rim with my tongue, delving in, and then out, as I worked her clit with the pad of my thumb. Her panting moans filled the room and my mind. My body was strung tight with a need for her I knew I would never be able to resist, but first, I wanted her to beg for me. I wanted her so desperate she hurt for me. I wanted to mark her. I wanted her to know she was mine. This was more than a contract. This was more than just obsession. This was unexplainable, universe changing and world claiming.

"Jace," her fingertips moved into my hair and over my temple. "Please,"

"Tell me what you need, Angel." I blew against her clit. "I will give you anything."

"I just need you." She whispered. I had hoped she would ask me to make love to her, but I guessed I burned that bridge. I realized I needed to rebuild that trust, but hearing her say she needed me was just empowering and earthshattering as her asking to be made love to.

What the fuck was wrong with me? Damn, I would figure it out later. Right now, my focus was on her.

I skid off the bed, quickly attacking the buttons of my shirt. I shrugged out of the fabric before I tugged on the button of my pants. I quickly stepped from the binging material of my boxers before moving to the bed. She spread her legs, welcoming me to her. The action made me swell until I thought I would burst with need for her.

I hovered over her, staring down into her face for a long moment. I let my tip rest against her opening, feeling her warmth seep through me as I stared down into her eyes. Her brows furrowed and she pulled the corner of her bottom lip into her mouth. She did that when she was confused or uncertain. I didn't want her to be uncertain of me. I nudged her with my cock as I settled between her legs, letting my length rest against her opening.

"Tell me your thoughts." I begged. Her body was flush against mine, testing my very carefully, calculated, control.

"I-," she looked up into my eyes and a pink hue colored her cheeks. "This feels different."

"Different," I nodded. "How?" Fuck...I prayed she would tell me she felt this odd sense of life-altering emotion too. I prayed it wouldn't be just me.

She shook her head. "I don't know, really." She chewed on her lip and my cock jumped. "I guess it's just in my head."

"Don't be shy with me, Olivia." I growled, staring at her lip that was still lodged between her teeth. "What do you think is in your head?"

"This feels gentle and real and...pure." She shook her head and her eyes glazed over. What the fuck? Was she close to tears? "It's not normally like this with you, Jace."

Was I really that much of a prick that this newfound gentleness would bring her to the brink of tears? "Fuck, Angel." I breathed. "I'm so sorry."

Her eyes flickered to mine. "What? Why are you sorry?" She wriggled her hips against me and I throbbed against her. Now, more than ever, I just wanted to burry myself inside her. When I was inside of her, I was safe. Safe from myself. She'd given me reprieve from the malice I had stored within myself, a constant reminder of why I could never have this...love. But, I would be damned if I would give up now, when I was so fucking close to what had always been, a far-fetched illusion, crafted by the delusional in the world. Olivia had shown me how to give into my heart. There would never be another who would give me what she already had and even if there were, I wouldn't care. I only wanted her.

I watched as emotions flickered over her face and through her eyes. There were so many emotions and each was more potent then the next. Fear. Anxiety. Passion. Desire. Acceptance. Terror. Need. She felt them all. And to all of them, I wanted to kiss her until she was left with only the good. I wanted to be the one she caved to when the world was too much. I would be that one for her. I could be and now that I realized that, there was no chance I was giving up.

"Angel," I breathed. I set my forehead against hers and her hands moved to my shoulder blades. She held me tightly to her. It was as though she thought I was going to disappear into thin air.

"Please, don't be sorry, Jace." She kissed my lips and I couldn't help but notice how hers shook. "Just take me. Please, I want you inside of me. Now."

I kissed her back. Hard. My tongue explored her mouth and she gave me her all. I had never felt so accepted by a woman before this moment. Tasting her mouth on mine, the passion that poured out of her to burrow into me was like tasting bliss. Euphoric bliss.

I positioned my body above hers, wrapping one arm around her waist before tucking the other beneath the nape of her neck. I dipped my head, pressing my lips to hers as I pressed the tip of my cock into her opening. She gasped at the delicious intrusion and I devoured her sound as I pressed further in until I filled her completely. I rocked into her at a slow, sensual pace and she arched her hips into every thrust. When I couldn't hold back a moment longer, I thrust deep and hard, claiming her entirely. She moaned. It was a sound that seeped in through my skin, penetrating down to my very bone.

I rocked into her over and over again. She wrapped her legs around my waist, pulling me deeper as if she couldn't get enough of me. I was glad I was not the only one. Happy to oblige, I thrust deeper and deeper as she cried out against my lips. I felt her body tighten beneath mine. Her back arched and her legs tightened around my waist. Her nails dug into the skin on my back, evoking a groan from deep in my throat.

"Come with me, Angel." I whispered against her lips as I rocked deeper into her. Her body tightened around me, quivering as she found her release. Her nails went ridged against my shoulders, before going slack. "You are mine." I growled as I pumped into her, spilling every ounce of myself deep inside of her.

"Yes Jace," she spoke against my mouth. "I am yours."

Chapter 16

My heart ached as Jace brought his lips down to mine. He kissed me slowly as he finished his release inside of me. Nothing about tonight had been expected. The hot chocolate, the sex that felt so much more like love making...not that I would know...but, I felt it. And now this; his gentle kisses that tugged on my heartstrings.

Jace remained buried deep inside me as he kissed me. His lips moved over mine, to my chin, over my jaw and down to the hollow of my throat where he kissed my collarbone. Where was this coming from? This gentle side of him I never thought I would be so privileged to see. And, why did this feel like goodbye? I wanted to beg him to stop this nonsense. I wanted him to fuck me hard...because, then, he would be here in the morning when I awoke. I wanted to beg him not to leave, but I didn't know how.

My stomach muscles clenched as my heart thrashed painfully in my chest. Tears burned my eyes and I clenched the lids closed as he slowly kissed his way back up my neck, nibbling my earlobe. Why did his goodbye have to be the thing that hooked me irrevocably to him? Why would he show me this side of him when he only intended to leave me for good? Why did he have to make me feel loved by him?

I inhaled an unsteady breath into my lungs. The sounds of my insecurities were loud, ricocheting off the walls around us. I felt as though my thoughts were bared to him in the silence. His blue eyes met mine and my heart clenched. I felt as though he had fisted it and squeezed. He looked...happy.

"Baby, what is it?" His voice was tender as he brushed my hair back away from my face.

I shook my head. "Nothing," I smiled, but I knew it didn't reach my eyes. My heart was aching. I didn't want to lose him, but I didn't know how to keep him. I had always known this day would come, but I hadn't thought it would come so quickly. In part, I knew I should be grateful. I was not in love with him...yet. But, I knew I would be soon. I cared deeply for him already. If I was given a little more time, I knew I would fall for him...without the chance of ever finding myself again. "I'm exhausted."

Jace nodded, but his eyes were clouded over. "It's been a long day." Jace dipped his head, brushing his lips against mine. "Go to sleep, Angel."

My heart wept as I closed my eyes. Jace hovered over me for a long moment and I knew he was hunting for an explanation for the sorrow in my face. I knew he wouldn't find it, because the reason was him...and, everything I felt for him was locked away in the vault that was my heart.

Jace shifted and I felt his movement deep inside of me, but still he didn't pull out. He rested his face in the crevice of my neck and breathed me in. His lips skimmed over my skin as he tucked his hand beneath my neck.

This was how we fell asleep. Together as one. For the first and last time...my heart shattered into a million little pieces.

***

I woke early. The sun had not yet risen and the condo was quiet, but I knew what woke me. Jace was gone.

The bed next to me was cold...and so was my body where he had lain when he fell asleep. My heart pounded...thrashed in my chest. My fingers trembled as they clenched into tight fists, the nails digging into the flesh of my palm. I tried to fight the tears that swarmed me, but I was weak. Hot rivulets flowed through my lower lashes in streams of heartache and anger. Oh, I was angry with him. I was furious. How dare he make love to me, only to leave me?

I was angry with myself. I let him in when I knew he never wanted any part of what I had to offer. My heartache was on me. I let him love me and I let him walk away knowing full well I should have been the one to do the walking...or running. I should have been smarter because, maybe then, I would have avoided the pain burning in my chest.

When I cried the last of my tears, I pulled myself from the bed and walked like the ruined woman I was, to my closet. I pulled a deep purple silk negligée over my head. It rested just above my knees. It was cute. I thought about wearing it for Jace before I shook the thought from my mind. Jace was gone. Last night had been the sweetest of goodbyes...but goodbye it had been.

I had to get over him. I had to get over my foolish pain.

I pulled a black silk housecoat from the hanger and shoved my arms into the holes before tying the string at my waist. It was a nice housecoat. Trisha had bought it for me last year for Christmas. She liked sexy boutiques. They weren't really my thing, but with the amount of outfits she bought for me, one would think I was obsessed with the skimpy materials.

I sighed as I padded down the hall. I walked into the empty kitchen and reached for the can of white hot chocolate I kept in the pantry just as the door clicked. I froze as it creaked open. It was too early for Trisha to be creeping in the front door. Someone was entering into the apartment and I could only imagine it was the writer of the letters...my savior.