Blurred Lies (The Blurred Series Book 1) (17 page)

I wake to smooth lips with a hint of metal on my cheek. When my eyes flutter open I see green eyes looking into my blue ones.

“Good morning, sleepy-head.”

“Morning,” I say, hoarse with grogginess. “What are you doing in here?”

“I made you breakfast.”

“Oh, thanks. I’ll be out in a few. I need to get dressed.”

“I brought it to you. Breakfast in bed.” He smiles, brightly, clearly proud of his gesture. And he should be.

He’s so darn cute, it makes my heart clench.

“That’s so nice, thank you,” I say gratefully as I sit up in bed.

He moves to get the tray from the bedside table and places it on my lap. Coffee, eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns and a glass of orange juice.

“Do you want the coffee or the orange juice?”

“Definitely the coffee at this time of day.”

“Sweet, I hoped you’d say that,” he says as he takes the juice and downs it in one.

It makes me giggle as I pick up the silverware and tuck into the deliciousness.

“You’re too good to me,” I state after I finish the first amazing mouthful.

“Nothing’s too good for you, baby.”

Baby.
Now the lust isn’t addling my brain, the term of endearment reminds me of someone else.

Ryan must see the troubling thought in my expression.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” I can’t talk to him about this.

“You know you can talk to me, Nat. About anything. Even if you think I don’t want to hear it. I’m your friend, and if I can help in any way, then I will.” The sincerity in his voice relaxes me a little.

Whilst continuing to devour the breakfast he made me, I tell Ryan about the last conversation I had with Land, but not what brought the memory to the forefront of my mind this morning. I don’t want him thinking he shouldn’t call me certain things just because Land did. I love his names for me;
Darlin’, Sweet Girl, Baby.
I want him to keep calling me by those names whenever he feels like it.

“Maybe he’ll get back in touch,” he says with something like pain in his eyes, after giving it some thought. “I don’t know that you should ever be friends with him again after that last conversation, but I think you may need some closure, and I hope you get it.”

“Closure would be...good,” I agree, willing the tears that burn behind my eyes to stay hidden. I don’t want Ryan to think I’m hung-up on an online relationship. Not after last night and how far we’ve come.

How far
I’ve
come.

Ryan caresses my cheek, sweetly, and gives me a sad smile before taking the tray off of my lap.

“I’m going to go take care of this then take a shower.”

I sit in bed, pondering everything and nothing. When I hear the shower turn on in the next room, it’s a welcome distraction.

Ryan in the shower. Hmm.

Before I can think better of it, I’m up and out of bed and heading for the bathroom.

This might be a bad idea. Or the best one I’ve ever had.

When I reach the bathroom, the door is ajar and steam has already begun drifting into the hallway.

Did he know I’d do this?

Before I can think on that some more, I push the door open, slowly. The steam begins to disperse, bringing the shower stall into view. The clear glass is speckled with water droplets, but it does nothing to hinder my view.

Maybe he just wanted me to sneak a peek
.

And what a peek it is. His back faces the door, so I get a full view of his muscular, tattooed back and ass. Sweet Jesus, his ass is divine. I didn’t even know a man’s ass could be divine, but his is.

He’s leaning with one hand against the tiled wall in front of him, making his tattooed back and arm muscles flex, and his head is bowed under the spray of water.

The now familiar ache begins to build inside me and, without further preamble, I quietly remove my pajamas.

You can do this
.

I don’t really know what
this
is or what I’ll do when I actually reach the shower, but I go anyway.

Standing in front of the door, Ryan still hasn’t noticed my presence. I stand there for a moment, gathering enough nerve to open the door.

When I finally open the glass pane, the soft whooshing noise startles Ryan, making him spin around to face me. His eyes are filled with several emotions that I can’t quite fathom, but one is definitely lust. He’s never seen me naked before.

No man has. The realization makes me flush with embarrassment.

Without warning, he grabs my arm, tugging me into the enclosed space, shutting the door behind me.

“You shouldn’t be here, Natalie,” he utters with annoyance that I don’t truly believe.

“I know. But here I am,” I reply impishly.

He responds by beginning a slow perusal of my body, both with his eyes and his hands. He reverently caresses every part of me and it lights a fire within.

“You’re perfect,” he says quietly, close to my ear.

When he goes to pleasure me the way he did last night, I grab his wrist and halt his movement, as much as it pains me to do so.

“You said last night was for me. Well, this morning is for you,” I say as my hand makes contact with his arousal. Softly at first, then firmer. “I’d like to thank you for that...and breakfast this morning.”

“There’s no need to thank me darlin’.” His breaths have become more labored now.

When I drop to my knees, his eyes go wide with something like amazement, and it makes me smile.

Looking up at him I say, “You’ll have to tell me what to do. I’ve never done this before.” I smile sweetly, and a mixture of need and worry burns in his eyes.

“Are you sure you want to do this, baby?” he asks as his hand delves into my now damp hair. I nod my silent answer before I put my mouth on him.

His head falls back and something like a growl resonates in his chest.

This was such a good idea.

* * *

Over the next few days, Ryan and I don’t get to see each other very much. Just a few stolen kisses here and there. It’s not enough. I want to be with him constantly, and I know that’s a dangerous feeling to have.

As I stare into my coffee on this work-free Saturday morning, Nate’s deep voice breaks through my disturbing thoughts.

“So when are you going to tell me what’s going on with you and Ryan?” he asks with a calmness that doesn’t fit the question.

“Uh...what?”

“You and Ryan. You two are horrible at sneaking around. I don’t even know why you make the effort,” he states as he pours himself a cup of liquid-caffeine. “I do appreciate it, though, don’t get me wrong. I’m assuming the failed sneakiness is for my benefit?” he queries with a little snark that’s more appropriate for the situation, in my opinion.

“Um...err…we’re friends?”

“Is that a question or a statement? I know that’s not all you are, Little N. Talk to me.” His voice is softer now. He wants me to be the honest little sister I always have been; up until recently, anyway.

“I really like him, Nate. I think he really likes me, too,” I say with some bashfulness, taking another mouthful of not-so-warm coffee.

“I know.”

Wait, what?
“What do you mean -
you know
?” I ask in confusion.

“Well, obviously I know you like him. You’ve
liked
him since you first met him, for reasons I’ll never understand. And it was pretty obvious he shared those feelings in the first week of you moving in here. I can read that guy like a fourth-grade-reading-level book.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Well, I’m not thrilled. Ryan doesn’t exactly have a great track-record with women, but he seems different with you and he is my best friend. I’ll only be mad if he hurts you, which will hopefully never happen, but until then I’m okay with it, I guess.”

I smile brightly at my awesome brother.

“Just keep the PDA to a minimum around me. I have a sensitive gag reflex. Now, come give me a hug,” he demands.

I hug him as tightly as I can, so grateful to have him in my life.

“Just promise me you’ll tell me if I need to kick his ass.”

“I promise. Thank you for being cool about this, Nate.”

As soon as we pull away from our hug, the front door opens and Ryan walks in, looking sexy as sin (what’s new?). My heart flutters and I can’t help my smile. What’s new is he’s wearing a dark blue suit!

“Hey...Nate, Natalie. I’ve got some stuff to do, so I’ll be in my room if anyone needs me.”

Awkward.
Why’s he being so...odd?

Before he can head for his bedroom, Nate cuts him off.

“Are those flowers behind your back, Ryan?” he asks with mock-curiosity.

I don’t let on that Nate knows about us, wanting to see Ryan squirm, for once. Let’s just see how this plays out.

“Uh, yeah. There’s this old lady who lives downstairs. I just heard she’s in the hospital. I thought I’d get her these. I was going to drop them down there later.” The lie seems to roll right off his tongue, no problem. That’s slightly concerning. It’s the second time he’s been able to lie like that to Nate, in front of me.

I guess it’s not concerning, so long as he doesn’t lie to me, or about anything serious.

“There’s no one living in this building older than forty, Ryan,” Nate says flatly.

“Uh…” Ryan looks pleadingly at me and I can’t take it. I burst into hysterical laughter, doubling over with a laugh that steals my breath.

“I know, Ryan,” Nate says with an amused grin of his own.

“Oh, thank God! You both suck,” Ryan says with relief and mild annoyance.

When he realizes he’s free to show me affection out in the open, he strides over to me, gives me a peck on the cheek and hands me the beautiful bunch of flowers.

“These are actually for you, beautiful.”

“Thank you,” I say, finally calming down from my laughing fit.

Ryan goes to kiss me on the lips, but Nate is having none of it.

“Oh, hell no!” he exclaims.

Ryan pulls away, looking confused. “You know, now. What’s the problem?”

“The problem is, she’s still my baby sister, and you’re still the asshole we share an apartment with. Best friend or not, I don’t wanna see you sucking face with her...anywhere, but especially in my own kitchen. And while we’re on the subject, there will be no...fornicating, at all, of any kind when I’m home. None.” Nate’s stern expression just makes me start laughing again.

“Fine. When are you leaving?” Ryan asks with equal seriousness.

Nate just stares at Ryan like ‘
are you shitting me right now?’

And with that, the conversation is over and Nate doesn’t leave the apartment all damn day.

Sigh.

* * *

I swear Nate has no life anymore. It’s like he said he approved of me and Ryan being together, but then decided to never leave the apartment, so we can’t actually
be
together. It’s taken the word ‘frustration’ to a whole new level.

Nate was working away from the apartment constantly prior to me admitting what’s going on between Ryan and I, but now he’s (allegedly) got tons of design work to do on his computer at home, and by some strange
coincidence
he only has to go out when I’m working, or Ryan is at the gym or meeting clients.

I love my brother, but he’s kind of being a cock-block right now, as Ryan has so eloquently put it on more than one occasion.

At this rate, I’ll never lose my V-card. I’m nearly twenty-two, dammit!

Recently, I came to the decision that I want Ryan to have it very, very,
very
badly, but Nate is making it impossible. This has been going on for the last two weeks, but Ryan and I have a plan.

Today is Friday, a work day for Nate, so he must need to go out to see a customer or
something
. I can tell it’s driving him slightly insane being confined to the apartment for such long periods of time.

I don’t have a shift at the café, but I’ve enlisted Calli in our deception. She’s in total agreement that we should have ‘alone time’. She did suggest that I should talk to Nate about it, but I told her that if he’s doing this on purpose then he’s not going to stop just because I ask him to. Or maybe he would. I don’t know, but I like my plan better; it’s less confrontational.

If Calli sees Nate, she is to maintain the ruse that I, in fact, do have a shift this afternoon, and she even thinks she’ll be able to keep Nate occupied this evening so that we have the whole night to do whatever we please.

I really don’t want to know what she plans to occupy him with. I have long-suspected it was Calli in the apartment with Nate that night when I heard the...noises. Ew.