Damaged and the Bulldog (4 page)

Even feeling guilty Harlow was stuck playing
interrogator for me, I wished the date would never end. My sister made the best
of the situation while I enjoyed the sound of Dylan’s voice. He could read the
phone book in his deep voice and I’d never get bored.

Eventually, we finished eating. With our curfew
approaching, Dylan drove us home.

Harlow sighed when we parked in the driveway. “You
have ten minutes then I’m sending Dad out,” she said, climbing of out the SUV.

Once she shut the door, I looked at Dylan who watched
me in the dark car. His strong jaw clenched and I worried I’d done something to
upset him.

“Thank you for dinner.”

“I want to see you again,” he said then added, “Soon.”

“I have to ask my dad,” I mumbled, overwhelmed by my
need to be close to Dylan.

When his gaze found me in the dark car, my skin
flushed under the heat of his desire. “If you’re not ready, I’ll wait for as
long as it takes. No one else will do. It has to be you.”

“Why?”

Dylan leaned closer and I struggled not to pull away.
“Why not?” he whispered, leaning down to kiss me.

Jerking away without thinking, I pinched the top of my
hand hard. Dylan reacted like a normal person and rested back in his seat. I
saw disappointment, maybe even anger, on his face.

“Sorry,” he said and I realized he was irritated with
himself instead of me.

“I want to,” I whispered, losing my voice. “I want
you.”

Even remaining perfectly still, Dylan’s demeanor
immediately shifted. “That’s all I need to hear. I’ll wait.”

Inching closer, I pinched my forearm to keep me from
chickening out. I needed this moment to be better. If I left his SUV and walked
inside without my first real kiss, the regret would eat at me.

Facing him, I lifted my lips and closed my eyes.
Dylan’s breath smelled a bit like cheesecake and I smiled at the aroma. When
his lips touched mine, I wanted to pull away and hide in my house. I feared my
ugly rising up inside me. I hated being touching and this was the worst kind of
touching.

Except I needed Dylan and this was my chance.
Holding myself still, I enjoyed the tenderness of his
touch. His full lips sucked softly at mine, causing me to shiver. I knew he
wanted more. His hunger filled the air, but he didn’t push more than I could
take. As he pulled away, Dylan studied my face as if wanting to remember it
always.

“When can I see you again?”

“Tomorrow,” I said instantly.

Dylan’s cocky smile set off every nerve in my body. My
lust terrified me. He leaned forward to kiss me again and I nearly pulled away.
Likely sensing my fear, he only rested his forehead against mine.

“I think about you all the time. The waiting kills me,
but you’re worth it.”

My heart pounding so hard, I could barely breathe. My
arousal and panic made me lightheaded until my fight or flight instinct kicked
in.
I always ran.

“I should walk you to the door before Tad comes
looking for you.”

Nodding, I was ready to run inside and lock the door.
As much as I wanted Dylan, I felt a million hands clawing at me. As if exposed
and under threat, I needed to scrub away those fears.

I climbed out of the SUV and nearly ran for the door.
Fighting the urge, I walked slowly next to Dylan while pinching hard at my
arms.

“I wouldn’t hurt you,” he said without looking at me.
“I hope you’re not scared of me.”

“I’m not,” I whispered.

“You’re just scared.”

“The past sticks to me and I can’t wash it off.”

“My past makes me act like an asshole sometimes. You
should be ready for that.”

Despite my fear, his comment made me laugh. We reached
the front door and I struggled to remain calm. I needed away from him as much
as I craved to be closer.

Dylan watched me for a minute. “Do you like movies? If
we go to a movie tomorrow, you won’t have to worry about talking. Would you
like that?”

Unable to speak, I nodded.

“I’ll text you in the morning with info.”

Dylan slowly wrapped his arms around me and I forced
myself to lean into his embrace. I both hated and loved the feel of him. The
confusion in my head was too much and I stepped back.

“Is it me?” he asked, shoving his hands into his jeans
pockets. “Did I do something?”

Shaking my head, I stared into his eyes with my wet
ones. “It’s me.”

“Do you still want to go to the movies tomorrow?”

Once I nodded immediately, his expression softened.
“First dates are tough, huh?”

I smiled and shuffled towards the door. “I’ll do
better tomorrow.”

Dylan watched me disappear inside. Once the door was
shut behind me, I felt all the panic take over.

“Did he do something?” Harlow asked as I ran past her
to my room.

I heard her talking to my parents, but I never slowed
down. Ripping off my clothes, I hurried into the shower even before the water
was warm. The soap scrubbed away the bad feelings left behind by an ugly past I
didn’t remember. My mind though focused on Dylan.

His cologne was subtle and I still smelled it in my
hair from our hug. I remembered his hot breath against my skin and how
perfectly straight his teeth were when he smiled.

I loved his smile and the sound of his voice. I loved
the slight stubble I felt against my face when we kissed. I loved how his
calloused fingers were always tender. Dylan was perfection, but I didn’t stop
washing until I couldn’t smell or feel him anymore.

Emerging from the shower, I found Harlow sitting on
the closed toilet.

“Explain,” she said, looking haunted. “Mom and Dad
think something bad happened or that you’re not ready. Tell me they’re wrong
and I didn’t fuck up by setting up this date.”

Wrapping myself in a towel, I stared at my sister and
thought about how clueless she was about men. Maybe even more clueless than me.
At least, I had a crush on a guy. Harlow planned to keep her vagina closed to
business forever.

I tipped my head over, spraying her with water from my
hair.

“Hey,” she grumbled.

I wrapped my hair then stood up. “Dylan kissed me and
tasted really good.”

“So why are you scrubbing yourself that way?”

“My head wants him to touch me, but my body hates it.
I forced my body to deal with the touching then I gave it a shower as a
reward.”

I walked into the bedroom where Mom fluffed my
pillows.

“Are you okay?”

“I really like Dylan.”

Mom nodded then took the towel I dropped once slipping
into my long flannel nightgown.

“We’re going to the movies tomorrow.”

“You’ll take Harlow or Jace with you.”

I glanced back at a frowning Harlow. “I don’t want to
take Jace.”

“Then I guess I’m going to the movies. Better not be
anything lame.”

Once Harlow left the room, I stood with Mom who
studied me.

“Maybe you’re not ready.”

“Maybe I’ll never be ready. I like Dylan and he’s
right now. I can’t wait.”

“Is he pressuring you?”

“No,” I said, taking Cookie Monster off the shelf and
sitting him next to me on the bed. “Dylan is patient. Sweet too. Most guys
wouldn’t be okay with having a chaperone. He didn’t care. He just wanted to
hang out with me.”

Mom smiled. “Sweet is good. Your dad is sweet. He’ll
punch a guy in the face for looking at my ass too. Complicated is best.”

“Dylan is complicated.”

“Then I’m glad you’re dating him.”

Nodding, I knew Mom wanted to leave and reassure Dad.
I wanted her to do the same. Dad might be a man of God, but he had no problem
with his club dishing out biblical vengeance.

I had found a rerun of
The Big Bang Theory
when
Harlow returned in her pajamas. She climbed under the blankets and rested her
head on my shoulder.

“Dating is a lot of work. Sure you want to keep doing
it?”

“I’m sorry you have to come with me tomorrow, but I
like Dylan and I like how he likes me.”

“He’s nice, Winnie, but he’s a guy. They want stuff we
can’t give them.”

The thought of having sex made my stomach clench. Yet
remembering Dylan’s lips on mine, I smiled.

“He said I’m a good woman. Not hot, but good. A guy
wanting me because he thinks I’m hot won’t last. Dylan sees good in me. I like
that.”

“Men lie,” Harlow said quietly.

“I know,” I whispered, handing her the doll. “You’re
having a bad night.”

“I don’t want a guy touching me ever.”

“I felt the same way until Dylan. Now I want him to
touch me even if it scares me.”

Harlow glanced at me and saw me smiling. “I’ll go to
the movies, but this time you have to do more of the talking. I can’t fake a
good personality two days in a row.”

I laughed as we moved farther under the covers. “I
wanted to touch Dylan’s face tonight. I’m going to try and do it tomorrow.”

“Good luck with that. I wanted to ignore both of you
and play games on my phone. I’m going to try and do that tomorrow.”

Laughing again, we turned off the light and watched
TV. I didn’t doze off for hours, but finally dreamed of Dylan working on a
house while I watched from a distance. He seemed so far away until the end of the
dream when I turned around and found him watching me. His smile erased my
fears.

After Winnie went into the house, I forced myself to
go home. This plan lasted for an hour before I was driving past the Todds’s
house on my way to a Whiskey Kirk’s.

I’d started visiting the bar because of my stepsister
Raven. Her husband was the enforcer for the Reapers Motorcycle Club. Normally,
I wouldn’t want to hang around men so willing to kill a guy for offending them.
Except I took a bullet to the chest while trying to protect Harlow and Winnie.
This led to me being part of the crew, making me accepted and protected.

Like most Friday nights, Vaughn and Raven were at the
bar. In a corner booth, they sat with Reapers enforcer Judd and his wife Tawny.
As I approached, Raven remained oblivious. She was too busy fending off
Vaughn’s tickling hands. Next to them, Judd and Tawny ignored the racket while
whispering to each other.

Judd noticed me first and threw a handful of peanuts
at Vaughn who was getting his ponytail yanked on by a ticklish Raven.

“Dick,” Vaughn muttered, fixing his hair and wiping
peanut shells off his shirt.

Raven adjusted her tee and smiled at me. “Hey, bro.
Hair’s growing out nicely.”

Rolling my eyes, I pulled a chair over and sat down.
“Am I interrupting?”

“Yeah,” Judd said immediately. “Thanks because these
two are fucking idiots.”

Vaughn grinned. “Ignore his bad mood. We kicked their
asses at pool a few minutes before you got here. His ego is still weeping the
tears of a fool.”

Judd flipped off Vaughn who acted shocked. The women
laughed then I knew Raven was going to bug me the way only she could.

“Why are you alone on a Friday night? Don’t tell me
the mohawk was your bait to get dates.”

“Why do people in relationships obsess over those who
aren’t?”

“Pity,” Raven said without missing a beat.

“I know a girl,” Tawny suggested. “I met her when I
worked at Denny’s. She’s a friend of Lark’s too. Oh, and she’s cute.”

I shook my head while ordering a beer from the
waitress.

“Are you still hung up on Lark?” Raven asked,
squinting at me. “She’s sort of taken and currently gestating a litter.”

Vaughn snorted at the word, “litter.”

“My friend from Denny’s likes to bowl,” Tawny said,
instantly making her more appealing to Vaughn.

I didn’t see any reason to hide the fact that I was
dating Winnie. No other guy in his right mind would keep a hot girlfriend a
secret.

“I just came from having dinner with Winnie,” I said,
remaining silent about Harlow playing my chaperone.

The four of them instantly lost their smiles and
studied me.
Keeping it a secret was the smarter route.

“How’d that go?” Raven asked.

“Good. Thanks for asking.”

I took few long swigs of beer and nearly finished the
bottle before Vaughn cleared his throat.

“You need to be careful with that one. She is club
protected like Bailey. Do wrong by Winona and you’re toast.”

“She prefers the name Winnie and why would I wrong
her?”

Raven looked worried about me. While her concern was
endearing, I didn’t look forward to her advice.

“She’s got great hair,” was her brilliant addition to
the conversation.

I smiled. “She’s beautiful.”

“Careful,” Vaughn whispered.

“Is she protected because she’s the daughter of a
Reaper?” Tawny asked. “Wouldn’t all the kids be protected, so what’s the big
deal about Winnie?”

“Kirk found her and claimed her as Reapers family,”
Judd said.

Tawny and Raven frowned at him while I tried to act
disinterested. Judd pretended like he didn’t notice their interest until Vaughn
kicked him and the two growled at each other.

“Dish, bitch,” Vaughn demanded.

“I’ll throw the rest of these fucking peanuts at you,
fuckwad.”

“Whatever. I could use the snack.”

Judd rolled his eyes and glanced at me. “This was
before my time, but I heard about it from Kirk’s guys. So there was a club
called the Vandals from Mississippi who moved out this way when they got in
trouble with the law. The president was a guy named Sugar Bum, if you can
believe it. He thought he was a badass and his club was full of young thugs he
recruited from prisons. When they came into Kirk’s territory, they shoved aside
people approved by the Reapers.”

Judd glanced around to make sure the bar was full of
club loyalists.

“So they come to Kentucky and take out a few dealers
and meth labs. Kirk doesn’t micromanage shit in the state. The club gives
approval to certain groups to work his area for a piece of their profits. If
the groups don’t pay up, they get forcibly replaced. The Vandals showed up and
acted like they didn’t need to kiss the ring,” Judd said, leaning back and wrapping
an arm around Tawny.

Vaughn gave me a dark look. “Everyone kisses the
ring.”

“These Vandals fucks keep doing what they’re doing
until Kirk decides he’s going to do what he does,” Judd continued. “Let’s just
say that back in the day in Memphis, the old man didn’t do accounting work. The
Vandals might have been badasses in Mississippi, but they died just like anyone
else who doesn’t kiss the ring. Anyway, the club was living out of a shitty
motel when the Reapers caught up with them. While doing a cleanup of the place,
Kirk found Winnie.”

Tawny leaned her head against her husband’s chest and
I saw something dark in her eyes that reminded me of Winnie.

“Kirk found out her dad sold her to the club to pay a
debt. No one could find her mom, so he brought her to Tad and Toni who had
taken in another orphan a few years back.”

Raven frowned at this information, so Judd explained.
“You know Beckett doing time for punching a fat guy at the fair? Tucker’s best
friend. The stupid guy.”

Raven shrugged. “Stupid people blur together for me.”

Judd rolled his eyes. “So Tad and Toni took in
Winnie.”

“Poor kid,” Raven said, giving Tawny a quick glance.

The enforcers focused their glares on me, but I wasn’t
intimidated. Not if they planned to tell me to stay away from Winnie.
Losing
her wasn’t even an option
.

“Winnie is a pretty good bowler,” Vaughn finally said
and Judd glared at him. “What? So few of you shitheads can bowl. I’m sick of my
woman being the only one to challenge me. What happens when she gets all round
with my seed?”

“Seed?” Raven said, laughing. “I like when you use
medical terms.”

Vaughn finished his beer then started tickling Raven
again. She squirmed under the table, knocking against it and spilling Judd’s
beer.

“Fuck it,” he said, standing up. “I’m playing pool.”

Tawny joined her husband. “Wanna play, Dylan? Those
two will be at it for a while. Apparently, they just recently figured out
Raven’s ticklish.”

“Don’t be fooled!” Vaughn yelled over Raven’s
laughter. “Tawny and Judd will ditch you the minute one of them looks at the
other one for too long and the need to fuck overwhelms them.”

“I’ll take my chances,” I said, following Judd and
Tawny to a table.

After a few minutes, I felt Tawny watching me. While
she’d always been friendly, I never felt comfortable around her. Mainly because
her husband killed people. He was like Vaughn without the silly one-liners.

“You really like Winnie.”

Unable to respond without giving away how much I cared
for Winnie, I just nodded.

“She might seem cold sometimes or maybe she pushes you
away even though you sense she wishes you were closer. Be patient and she’ll
find a way to get close.”

“I will,” I said, smiling at her advice. “Winnie is
like no one I’ve ever met and I’ll wait for her.”

“Patience is the key,” Judd said, wrapping an arm
around Tawny. “My woman was patient with me and I finally came around. I didn’t
make it easy for her though.”

Tawny smirked. “Drama queen.”

When Judd smiled down at her, Vaughn’s prediction came
true. I disappeared from the world as Judd and Tawny’s gazes locked on one
another. They left the bar without saying another word.

“Told you,” Vaughn said, taking Judd’s stick. “Happens
every time.”

“I resent how much hornier they are for each other,”
Raven whined. “I mean I’m hot, right?”

Vaughn shrugged. “Sure, I guess.”

“Asshole,” she growled, tugging up at her shirt. “I’ll
flash the ladies for everyone to see then take a poll about how hot I am.”

Vaughn’s smile faded. “Mine. No one sees them.”

Getting the response she wanted, Raven fixed her
shirt. “Mine. Me like woman. Me talk caveman. Me lack brain cell.”

“I can’t help that you make all the blood run out of
my big head to my other head.”

“You’re a poet.”

“Yeah, I am, Jellybean.”

Raven made her shot then gave me one of her looks.
“Are you acting clingy and weird around Winnie like you did with Lark?”

“No,” I muttered. “My feelings for Lark were…”

“Bizarre,” Raven said when I didn’t finish.

“Misguided. I wanted her to be someone she isn’t. With
Winnie, I like her the way she is.”

Raven grinned. “That’s pretty sweet. I didn’t know you
had it in you.”

“Winnie is special, so don’t mess this up for me.”

“Mess it up how?”

“Don’t tell her the Lark thing.”

“Yeah, that wasn’t cool,” Vaughn said. “Not only is
Lark your sister, she’s also a midget.” When Raven smacked his arm, he
shrugged. “I mean little person.”

“Asshole. I’m giving you shitty sex tonight for that
comment.”

“Bet I won’t even notice.”

“Oh, you’ll notice. Trust me about that.”

Vaughn wrapped her in his arms. “I’ll make it right.
Don’t stress it, Twinkie.”

Raven pushed him off and focused on me. “I’ll keep
your weird shit on the DL. I’m sure Lark will too. We both want you to be
happy.”

“Thanks, Raven.”

“Heartwarming,” Vaughn said, wrapping her in his arms
again. “I need reassurance. Pay attention to me.”

Raven gave me a wink then turned around in her
husband’s arms and sucked on his tongue. They stayed at it for long enough that
I felt the need to finish my beer and leave.

Before going home, I drove past Winnie’s house. I
hoped she was sleeping soundly and looking forward to our next date. After
hearing Judd’s story about the Vandals, I suspect Winnie might be having second
thoughts about us.