Death Wish (27 page)

I swallowed hard. He was right. Shaz and I had loved each other for years before we were ready to take it to the next level. Still, Kale was different.

“I would do the same thing for you or Jez or Ky.” I ran my tongue over my lips, tasting blood and Kale. I needed to hunt. The bloodlust lurked beneath the cloak of my fury, waiting for the right moment to strike.

“I know,” he replied quietly, “but would it be for the same reasons?”

Vulnerable. My white wolf was in pain. We were both in pain, but his pain made him enticing. Too enticing.

 “You fuck another woman and call her by my name, but you’re questioning why I make the choices I’ve made?” My voice broke, and I was suddenly overwhelmed. The dam barring the wave of emotion threatened to break. I wasn’t ready for that. “I have to go. I need to kill something.”

My pulse pounded in my ears. My stomach twisted, and the vampire’s hunger filled me. I needed to feel a victim’s struggles while I spilled their blood, and that victim could never be Shaz.

I hightailed it out of there like the devil himself chased me. Shaz called my name, but he didn’t stop me. He knew the risks as well as I did, and Arys wasn’t there to keep us from crossing the line this time.

The parking lot was empty and eerily silent. Part of me hoped Lilah would take a shot at me tonight. I needed to blow off some steam. I had no destination in mind. Giving myself over to the growing darkness inside me, I let the bloodlust be my guide.

Chapter Seventeen

It was getting easier to give in. When I just quit fighting, the entire process went a lot smoother. Though I hated myself afterwards every damn time, in the moment, it was bliss.

Like so many times before, I slipped into that zone that was pure predator. The tangy aroma of blood tickled my nose. It filled my mouth, warm and pulsing with life. I drank in both blood and energy, seeking all my victim had to give. Perhaps choosing one of Kale’s bimbos was in poor taste, but she had come out the back door into the parking lot at the wrong time.

I sat on the ground, leaning against the building. I stared at the dead woman, and she stared back at me, her eyes open and lifeless. The gaping wound in her throat mocked me. I was a killer, and Juliet was justified in wanting to stop someone like me.

Some might say Kale’s playmate knew what she was risking by coming to a place like this, and they would be right. I didn’t let vampires kill in my club, but it still happened. Yet, I couldn’t even keep my own rules. Pathetic.

For a long time, I sat there, listening to the traffic on the streets beyond the club. The high began to ebb, and reality crept back in. I couldn’t accept that the FPA had Kale. What would they do to him? Kill him? Worse? I had to do something.

A few hours remained before dawn. I needed to get back inside, clean up and slip Shawn a handful of cash to take care of the body. I was supposed to meet Arys back at his place for sunrise. Until then, I had a few things to think about.

The club was almost empty. A few staff members lingered. Most of the rooms in the back hall were occupied. I could feel the mix of human and vampire energy. And Shaz. I could feel his wolf though he was nowhere to be seen. My stomach dropped.

With a few words to Shawn and the instruction to help himself to the cash from the register, I went to the washroom to wash the blood from my hands and face. It wasn’t as bad as I’d expected. Getting better at this whole blood-hungry killer thing wasn’t something I could get excited about.

I stood there staring at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were the deep brown I’d always known them to be. It was more unnerving than if they’d been Arys’s enchanting blue. When I saw him within me like that, it was easier to blame my actions on the undead power rolling around inside me. Brown eyes. It was all me.

I left the ladies’ room and took a left into the back hall rather than a right toward the heart of the club. I shouldn’t do this. I told myself to stop, but one foot in front of the other, I drew closer to the door that beckoned me.

I knew what I’d find, knew I didn’t need that truth branded forever in my mind’s eye, yet I couldn’t turn back. No more hiding behind closed doors and words left unsaid. I reached the door marked with the number six, and my hand trembled on the knob.

Pushing the door open, I took in the scene before me, and everything began to spin. A tangle of naked limbs, the scent of sweat, and a startled shout all hit me at once. I stared in open-mouthed horror at my white wolf and his illicit lover as he scrambled to pull the sheets over them. But, it was too late.

Reality was a cruel mistress. I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. This was too much. This was where I surrendered. White flag. I’m done.

Shaz’s jade green eyes were locked on me. He sat there frozen, utter surprise etched on his face. His platinum hair was a mess. Red lipstick smears painted the corner of his mouth in a mocking shade of scarlet. Matching stains adorned his bare chest and neck. I didn’t want to see this, didn’t want to feel this knife twisting in my gut.

Apple cinnamon scented candles lit up the room, but they did nothing to disguise the telltale scent of sex, blood and shame. My stomach turned painfully, and I thought I might be sick.

Like the tragic emotional scene in a movie, everything seemed to slow down. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. There he was, naked in her bed with her atop him, clutching the sheet as if it would hide the truth.

Shaz sat there looking guilty. Bianca watched me expectantly, waiting for my reaction. Maybe she expected me to finish her off this time, like I’d promised. Our eyes met, and I saw the deep-seated satisfaction she couldn’t hide. The tiniest hint of a smile tugged at her lips.

Deeper than my own pain was the sorrow of my wolf. That part of me didn’t understand how he could do this. I backed up until I hit the wall. I tried to form words, needing to say something.

“Alexa, wait! Please, let me explain.” Shaz sprang into action, shoving Bianca aside.

I held up my hands and shook my head. “Stay away from me.”

Unable to contain the tears, I ran. I didn’t stop until I reached the parking lot. I collapsed on the pavement, hysterical sobs building inside me. Blood red tears stained my hands. Knowing Shaz would come after me if I stayed, I got to my feet and continued moving. Maybe Arys was right. Maybe it was time to burn The Wicked Kiss to the ground.

I left my car behind and just walked without a destination. I headed south, away from the downtown core. The agony cut like shards of glass against my insides. I couldn’t do this anymore.

Shaz and I, we were over.

If I’d doubted it before, what I’d seen tonight had only confirmed it. Maybe it had started with Shaz needing a fix, but it had evolved. Now he was lost, consumed by his need to hurt me and to justify it to himself. This wasn’t the Shaz I knew. He had changed, but so had I. And now, here we were. Broken.

I left the busy downtown district behind and with it, the raw, painful truth. I intended just to walk as far as I could possibly get without further thought. That’s all I wanted, to get away, as far away as possible.

The vampires that jumped me had other plans.

 Six of them swarmed me, each coming from a different direction. Lost in the gut-wrenching pain of my heartbreak, I hadn’t sensed their approach. Lilah couldn’t have chosen a better time to send her people after me. They were on me so fast that I didn’t stand a chance.

A large fist met my face and stars exploded behind my eyes. I went down immediately, but two of them dragged me to my feet. I struggled against them, but the blows kept coming until I couldn’t tell how many of them were hitting me. If any of them had power, they didn’t use it. This was a good, old-fashioned beating.

 “She doesn’t seem so tough,” a gruff voiced vampire said to his buddies. “This is a little disappointing.”

“Aw look, Colin, you made her cry.” A chorus of laughter followed.

I reached for my power with the intent to use it on the guys holding me, but my concentration was scattered, and my vision swam. I’d taken so many hits already, I could barely focus. Lesson learned. Never underestimate the power of a group beating.

The taste of my own blood filled my mouth. I was not going down this way. I lashed out with a metaphysical attack on the two holding me. It threw them both off their feet. However, one pulled me off balance, and I fell to my knees. A psi ball in each hand, I hit two more. I could scarcely keep track of who was where. The remaining two rushed me, wrestling me to the ground. My head smacked the pavement, and everything began to darken.

I expected the blows to rain down upon me, but they never came. A sharp cry came from one of my assailants. It was followed by shouts and commotion. I blinked to clear my vision, finding myself looking up at a man with great silver wings. Aw, shit. Not another fence rider. How could this help me?

But sure enough, he was smacking the vampires around like they were dolls. The swell of his power was stifling and heavy, just like Falon’s. With a groan, I rolled over, trying to catch my breath as I got to my feet.

My head pounded, a throbbing so intense it hurt to open my eyes. A strong hand on my arm sent a surge of panic through me. I found myself staring into sympathetic, gold-flecked green eyes. It took a moment for it to sink in that he wasn’t trying to hurt me.

“You’re alright,” he said, his voice soft and soothing. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

I spat blood and swiped a hand across my face. Between the tears and the smacks, my face was a mess of blood. I probably looked like I’d been hit by a bus.

Three of the vampires were dust. The others were long gone. I took a few shuddery breaths and gazed at my rescuer. He was tall and lean with a muscular build and silver wings similar to Falon’s. That’s where the similarities ended. This angel had gentle eyes and a mouth that was made for smiling. His hair was short and thick, a light brown that could have been dirty blonde.

“Please don’t tell me you’re a friend of Falon’s,” I muttered, finding my teeth intact. Thank God for that.

The angel grimaced. “Hell no. I’m not affiliated with that sorry bastard. Come on. I know a little watering hole nearby. We’ll get you washed up and order a round of shots.”

He led me along down the quiet street. I was puzzled for sure. An angel that wanted to do shots? Well, he was fallen.

“Thanks,” I said, calming as the adrenaline slowly began to fade. “You really saved my ass there.”

“I’m surprised you couldn’t save your own ass. You are the vampire wolf, are you not?”

“Vampire wolf,” I laughed. “That’s a good one. I guess you could say that. It’s been a long night. I was kind of taken by surprise.”

“I’m Willow.” He offered me a hand, which I accepted.

“Alexa.”

“Ah, the protector of mankind.”

“Excuse me?”

“Your name. That’s what it means. The protector of mankind.”

His words struck hard and sunk deep. I hadn’t known my name meant something so profound. After taking a human life tonight, hearing it felt like a slap in the face.

“If only that was true.” I smiled bitterly and my face hurt.

Willow tilted his head, studying me. “It could be.”

We stopped at an abandoned building with darkened windows, but when Willow pulled the battered wooden door open, light and music spilled out onto the street. A small weathered sign read Woody’s Pub.

“I love this place.” Willow’s smile became mischievous as he ushered me inside, his wings disappearing from sight.

I really wasn’t sure what to expect from this guy. I had very little experience with his kind, and what I knew of them was not good at all. Still, he’d saved my ass, and so far, Willow was nothing like Falon. A relief, to say the least.

The pub was relatively small. Most of the patrons were middle aged and older. A TV hung from the ceiling in a corner broadcasting a sports channel. Willow pulled me along, my hand clasped tightly in his much the way a protective parent might hold onto a child.

Without hesitation, he pushed through the door to the ladies’ room. A woman stood at the sink washing her hands. She caught sight of Willow in the mirror, then my battered face, and her jaw dropped. She pursed her lips in disapproval before hurriedly drying her hands. Her eyes met mine, and I waited, expecting her to say something. Another glance at Willow had her rushing for the door.

“Is bursting into the women’s washroom something you make a habit of doing?” I asked when we were alone. I busied myself wetting disposable hand towels with warm water.

“Not usually,” he laughed softly. “I never expected it to be occupied. This place isn’t known for having a lot in the way of female clientele.”

My face was a mess. Blood ran from my nose and lip. My left eye was bruised deep purple and swollen. Small bruises decorated my chin and forehead. Wincing in pain, I dabbed at the blood staining my skin.

“Here,” Willow reached to take the wet towel from me. “Let me help you.”

With a gentle hand, he turned my face toward him and began to clean my wounds. It was comforting and inviting. Though he was a stranger to me, I felt safe with him. Protected.