Finally Us (5 page)

“What’re you gonna do, man?” Tyler asks.

I’m so screwed up right now, I’m not sure what to do. Ross awkwardly hands me a beer. I look at him for a couple seconds then I drink it down. “Nothing,” I say as I set the empty bottle on the bar.

“Nothing?” Tyler asks, looking shocked as he pulls his head back in disbelief.

“Nothing. Not right now, anyway,” I reply having no fucking idea what I’m talking about which just makes me feel even more like shit. I haven’t been prepared for any of this, and since I hurt my arm, I’ve somehow lost focus on what needs to be fixed with El and me. I so deserve this.

Fuck.

There’s a knock at the door and Ross goes to answer. It’s the Chinese food I ordered and he ends up paying for it which I know is one of his ways of apologizing for what’s happened.

I get out plates and silverw
are, setting it all on the bar, and I feel like I’m in quicksand, like everything’s going in slow motion. I think I might be in shock or some shit.

As we dish the food onto our plates, Tyler says, “You sure about that? I mean, you know, if you leave it
alone and do nothing, well, she could…”

“I know what I’m doing,” I cut him off
. Huge lie. But I just don’t want to talk about it anymore.

We sit back down and watch the ballgame but the evening’s pretty much shit after that. All I can do is think of El with another man and it makes my blood fucking boil. When I find out who it is, I’ll kill him.

I have
a meeting with the Cubs’ manager
and coaches the next morning. I slept like shit the night before, tossing and turning, imagining El with another guy, and it was all I could do to keep from calling her and finding out what the fuck’s going on, which probably would’ve just started a fight. Oh, and the thought that this new guy might’ve answered the phone at two in the morning may have deterred a call too. I mean, I’d like to play in at least one Cubs game before going to prison for committing murder.

Now I
sit in a boardroom with the General Manager, the team manager (who’s told me to call him “Coach”), the pitching coach, two people who sit on the Board of Directors and are part owners, an attorney who has the contract for me to sign, my new attorney to look it over and several media members.

“We’re really glad to have you, Jag,” Coach says.

“I’m glad to be here. Playing for the Cubs is a lifelong dream come true,” I reply with a grin to the flashing of cameras.

The meeting continues for several
minutes longer where the lawyer representing the team goes over the details of my salary with me then my lawyer checks things out, making sure to read the fine print, and when he’s satisfied, he tells me it’s safe to sign. After that’s done, everyone but Coach leaves and now it’s time for the reporters ask me questions.

“So Jag, how hard was it to leave the Dodgers?” one of the local reporters asks.

“To be honest, it was kinda tough. That’s where I started, where I got my first experience. But I’m so happy to be back home, especially to be a Cub now. They’ve been my favorite team from the day I took my first breath, I think.” There’s a smattering of laughter and I continue. “So although I’ll miss my teammates back in LA, I’m excited to begin a new chapter in my life with the Cubs.”

“Hey, Jag, Dan Rogers from
ESPN Magazine
. I hear your salary got bumped way up in the trade. With your injury still not fully healed, how fair do you think it is that you’ll be paid that amount just to be sidelined?”

Damn.

“Well, Dan, I’m working extremely hard to be ready by training camp then move into the lineup as a starter. I’ve had several good prognoses that I’m healing rapidly and will be ready by February so once that happens, I’ll be able to start earning every dollar I make.”

“Jag, how will the distance affect your relationship with Alessandra Alvarez?”

I clench my teeth and take a deep breath in through my nose, letting it out slowly. I knew some asshole was going to go there. “I have no relationship with her.”

“So you’ve broken up,” the reporter pries.

“There was nothing to break up,” I explain and they all scribble away on their pads as Coach snorts from where he’s sitting beside me.

“I heard you were dating actor Ariana Evans
. How’s that going to work with her being on the west coast and you here?”

And I’m done. I don’t answer the question and stand thanking them for being there
and then it’s over. I’ve signed my contract, everyone’s gone and now I’m officially a Cub.

“Fucking lunatics,”
Coach mumbles as he takes me on a tour of the facilities. “You did good, kid. Always prying into your life wanting the juicy bullshit, ruining your personal stuff you got goin’ on.”

I nod and look over at him as we walk.

He glances at me and says, “What? I was a player once too, you know. Ruined the best thing I ever had. Scarlet Lipowski. Damn, she was beautiful. But the media fuckers linked me to some goddamned actress and that was it. Scarlet left and that was the end of that. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve been married to Emily for goin’ on thirty years and it’s been great. It’s just that Scarlet was my first real love and I hated losing her in that way. You stick to your guns, son.”

There are a couple people wandering around and he introduces me to them,
some of them coaches, some maintenance guys. He takes me to the training room and introduces me to one of the trainers who’s working out.

“Isaac, this is Jag Jensen. Traded from the Dodgers,” Coach says.

Isaac holds his hand out to shake mine. “Right. Torn rotator cuff. Pitched through the pain, I heard.”

I huff out a laugh. “Yeah, that’d be me, the dumbass, if you will.”

Isaac laughs. “You had a no-hitter going, man. I totally understand. If you’da known you’d end up where you are, I know you woulda backed down. Am I right?”

“Most definitely,” I agree with him.

“I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around,” he says with a smile then continues his workout, picking up a dumbbell and curling it.

“There’s your locker,” Coach points out when we’re back in the clubhouse then we go into his office and sit. “You’ve got appointments at ProSport tomorrow and Thursday for physical therapy.” He hands me a card that has the days and times on it. “That’ll be your schedule, Tuesdays and Thursdays for now. They’ve already talked to your previous therapist and got the information on you, so they should be good to go. Questions?”

“What about spring training?” I
ask and hold my breath as I wait for his answer.

“Well, we’ll have to see what the ther
apist says. Sounds like your last one thought you might be ready by then, but we’ll get a read on you this week and go from there. Won’t be a big deal if you sit it out and take that time to heal some more.”

Shit. I don’t want to “sit it out,” but I nod anyway. I hear voices coming from the
clubhouse and Coach hollers at them.

“Wint
ers! Eddington! Get your asses in here!”

Two players come into the off
ice and Coach introduces us. Winters plays left field and Eddington is one of the relief pitchers.

“Scott Winters. Glad to have you, man,” Winters says and shakes my hand.

“Austin. Rotator cuff, huh?” Eddington asks as we shake hands.

“Yeah. I was stupid,” I say with a chuckle.
Seems everyone knows I’m a dumbass now.

“Been there,” he answers with a laugh.
“Although I never injured it when I had a no-hitter going on. Must’ve been tough to let it get away, man.”

I look at him for a second and say, “I know you. You pitched for Clemson, right?
”

“Yeah, I did.
You were at South Carolina. You guys stomped us pretty much every year,” he says with a chuckle.

“Wouldn’t go that far,” I
say, chuckling with him.

“It is what it is,” he returns.

After they leave, Coach asks again if I have questions. I don’t, so he tells me he’ll talk to me in a couple weeks when the physical therapist gives him a report. I leave his office and walk out of Wrigley Field, my new home.

And it’s fucking awesome.

Chapter 7

El

I’m showing a hockey player
who’s just had surgery for a torn ACL how to induce patellar mobility to break up scar tissue when I hear my coworker Trina walk by and a voice I’d recognize if I were dead and buried six-feet under.

Jag.

No way.

No fucking way.

Upon hearing his voice, that feeling of instant full-body paralyzation hits me for several seconds, well, except for my insides where my stomach’s clenching up and I feel like I’m going to be sick, and I grab hold of the table to steady myself.

“I’ll be right back,” I tell my patient
hoarsely then I go into the hallway, tiptoeing down it like some damned creeper toward the front lobby. When I get there, I glance around the corner quickly and just about die on the spot. It
is
Jag.

Oh, my God.
What the hell’s he doing here?

Shit!

Shit, shit, shit!

I
put my hand against the wall to keep me steady then stand and listen for a few minutes.

“You did great today,”
Trina says with a giggle.

“Couldn’t have done it without you. You’re pretty good,
Trina,” Jag replies and she giggles some more, and it’s then that I decide I want to give her bad makeup tips.

“Well, you’re an easy patient to work with. Makes my job that much better.” Another
giggle. I’m so going to put her on DatingPsychos.com.

“Thanks. I’ll see you Thursday?” Jag asks.

“Bright and early! I might even have a coffee waiting for you. Starbucks.” Annnnd you guessed it. She giggles.
I’ll
bring her a frickin’ coffee. A coffee that’s spiked with habanero juice.

And what? Starbucks? That’s
my
thing. I worked there for years and brought home my bag of coffee every week just for Jag. Java stealing bitch.

“I should be the one bringing you coffee for all you’re doing for me,” Jag says, flirting right back, and it’s all I can do to keep from stepping out there and glaring at him because everyone knows a woman’s glare
has the power to paralyze a man, rendering him useless in zero-point-two seconds. And he needs to be shut down this very instant for talking to my coworker like that. I realize my teeth are clenched as well as my fists. Ugh.

“Bye
eee,” Trina says all sing-songy. Jeez. I hear the front door open and close and then listen to Trina talking to Courtney, the receptionist. “Oh, my God! Is he hot or what? I wouldn’t mind giving him a tongue bath… or two.” She giggles again and when the thought of putting superglue in her antibacterial wash bottle enters my head, I shudder at how low I’ve sunk. When I hear her walking back toward me, I turn and scramble back to my room, going in and shutting the door, leaning against it and breathing hard.

“You okay?” my hockey player asks from where he lies on the table, and I realize I’m acting like a nincompoop.

“Yeah, sorry. Just checking to see if the flowers I ordered the boss for his birthday came and they have! I ran back here so he wouldn’t know it was me who sent them,” I lie.

He nods and I walk over and
start putting his knee through some stretches, my mind completely jumbled wondering why Jag was here. Did he come home for a visit and needed some therapy because his shoulder started hurting? I’ll have to try to casually ask Trina the teehee’er about it.

I finish with the hockey guy and when he sits up, I
hand him his brace, helping him put it on. After he stands, I give him his crutches, which he slips under his arms then I walk him out.

“Hey,
Courtney, could you schedule him for the same time Thursday and Friday, please?” I ask.

“
Will do,” she replies.

“You need to be doing those stretches we worked on at least twice a day if you can handle them. But listen to your knee. If it hurts, stop, okay?” I
tell him.

“Got it.”

“Okay, see you in two days,” I say then turn to leave.

As I start down the hallway
on my way to Trina’s room, I pass my boss Gary and say hi. Just before he leaves, I hear the hockey player tell him to have a happy birthday and I snort.

“Knock, knock,” I say when I r
each the room Trina’s in.

“Oh, hey, Ellen. What’s up?” she asks.

“Nothing. Hey, I wanted to ask you about your last client.”

“Oh, Jag
Jensen? God, he’s so hot! I didn’t see a ring either. Think he’s available?”

I bite my lips to keep myself from
calling her a few choice names. “I don’t know. I was just gonna ask if you know why he’s here?” 

“You haven’t heard? He’s the new pitcher for the Cubs. He
used to pitch for the Dodgers but got traded last week, or at least that’s what Gary said.”

Holy shit. He’s a Cub now? That means he’s back h
ome. Oh, God. Why hasn’t Mom told me this? And why didn’t he call to let me know?
Well, of course he didn’t call. You broke up with him, dummy. He’s “not your concern” anymore.

“No, I
haven’t heard. Oh, well, thanks,” I say and leave her room to go clean mine.

I walk back down the hallway in a daze.
Great. Jag’s back.

When he was gone, I
could somewhat ignore things that went on with him. What he supposedly did with other women wasn’t all up in my face unless someone threw one of those crappy gossip magazines at me. Now I get to watch up close and personal all the women who’ll lust after him, getting to see which one he picks to be with. Just one more shitty thing to add to my “Numerous and Sundry Shitty Things in Ellen’s Life” list.

Fantastic.

“Why didn’t you tell me Jag’s
back?” I accusingly ask my mom when I call her at lunch. I’m sitting in my car outside the deli I just got a sandwich from.

“What?” She sounds surprised.

“Mom. He was at the clinic this morning getting therapy. I just about had a heart attack!”

“Well, Mary hasn’t said a word to me. Of course, I’ve been busy with the benefit dinner your father’
s firm is hosting and haven’t talked to her in a couple weeks. But he’s back? As in back for good?”

“Yeah. He’s now a Cub.” I shake my head wondering how the hell I didn’t know this. Maybe I should watch the news more. Or read a newspaper. Or maybe have a look-see at any of the various media formats available to me in our highly technology-laden world other than gossip rags. Jeez.

“What? Oh, wow! That’s awesome! He always loved the Cubs,” she says and I
cringe, trying to hold myself together.

And
that’s the problem when you date someone you grew up with. Your parents are friends and everybody knows everything about everyone. I barely hold back a sob as Mom goes on saying he finally got his dream team.

“El?” she says softly. “Honey, are you okay?”

I start crying now. “No, Mom. I’m not okay.”

“Aw, sweetie.”

“H-how am I supposed to deal with this? I mean, I could kinda handle things when it wasn’t all shoved in my face. Now, he’s gonna be
right here
! And I’m gonna have to hear about it all the time.” I cry harder.

“Hear about what, honey?”

And I lose it. “About him dating other women! About how he’s going out with gorgeous movie stars! About how he’s fucking this supermodel or that supermodel! And I can’t take it anymore!”

Just for a second I freeze up and gasp because I realize I just said
fucking
to my mom. But at this point I really don’t care. I’m so tired of being hurt and I know that his being back home will only cause more pain for me.

“El
len? I want you to stop crying. You hear me?” When I don’t stop, Mom says sternly, “Ellen Reese Love! You stop that, right now!” Great. She’s gonna gripe me out for cussing
because I’m only twenty-five, for God’s sake
.

I sniff a couple times and wipe my face with a napkin
from my sandwich bag.

“A
re you finished?” she asks.

I sniff a few more times and mumble, “Yes,” into my phone.

“Okay. Now, you listen to me. You are a strong, beautiful, intelligent, independent young woman that any man would be lucky to have. And your relationship with Jag has never defined who you are, it’s only enhanced it. And whether he’s got his head on straight and can see what he lost when he let you walk out of his life and he’s now going to try to rectify it, or whether he’s… he’s
fucking
other women… doesn’t have any bearing on you as a person. You deserve the best, Ellen.
The best.
I didn’t raise you to think you’re beneath anyone, so you’d better get your own head on straight and realize your worth, you understand?”

Wow.

Really, wow. I sit up straighter and wipe my eyes.

“Mom?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, honey.”

“Mom?”

“Yes?”

“You said
fucking
.” I start giggling and she joins me.

“I thought it was necessary at that point. Now, do you get what I’m saying?”

“Yes, I get it.”

“You’re going to be okay. I know people keep telling you that, but I promise you are.”

God, I love my mom.

“Thanks, Mom.”

“You’re welcome, honey. Hey, Thanksgiving’s a week away. How about you bring this Austin guy with you? I think it’s good you’re dating someone else. Even if it doesn’t last, at least you’ve gone out with someone other than Jag, you know?”

“
Yeah. We’ll see.”

The last time I
’d seen Austin was last week when he’d picked me up for dinner. Upon seeing my dress, he’d pinned me against bar and we’d made out for a good ten minutes before I finally stopped us. And then we’d had a talk.

“
I need to tell you that I just went through a bad breakup,” I’d told him.

“Gathered that.”

I frowned and looked up at him. “You did?”

“Look, babe, you’re hot. S
weet. And, not braggin’, but it’s not like I’m all that ugly, so you not responding to me, yeah, I kinda figured you had something going on like that. Plus, I asked one of the girls at the clinic.”

“What?” Shit. I’d talked to Kacey and Courtney about it right after I
’d started working there when they’d invited me to lunch. I hadn’t told them Jag’s name or anything about him, just that I’d broken up with someone. I couldn’t believe one of them blabbed.

“She only told me you had a break up and that’s all. Sorry if you think I crossed the line.”

“Well, it’s kind of inappropriate to ask my coworkers stuff. If you wanted to know, why didn’t you just ask me?” I whispered, angry at him for going behind my back.

“I should have. Look,
I’m sorry. I understand if you don’t want to have dinner. But now that we’ve got it out there, we can go slow with this, Ellen.”

He
’d looked at me with sad puppy dog eyes and I couldn’t help but nod in assent. We ended up going to dinner anyway (I didn’t want to waste that dress and my Jimmy Choo’s), but when he took me home, he’d walked me to my door, given me a sweet kiss and left telling me he’d call. We’ve talked almost every night since and he hasn’t put any pressure on me, which has been nice.

“Okay. There’s a place for him if you decide to bring him,” Mom says.

“Thanks for everything, Mom. Love you.”

“Love you too, sweetie,” she says and we hang up.

I check my face out in my rearview mirror, wiping under my eyes to get rid of any mascara that’s smudged there and head back to the clinic to eat my lunch feeling better than I have in months. Knowing I have my mom behind me this way helps a lot.

“You are not going to believe this,”
I say when Rebecca answers her phone later that night.

“Austin asked you out again?”

“No.” I frown. I hate that he’s always being brought up. I mean, can’t I be thinking of something other than a guy? Jeez. But I get it. After the way I’ve been the past four months, I understand that the people around me are kind of excited that I’m moving forward. “Are you sitting down?” I ask.

“Oh, shit. What’s happened, El?”

“Jag’s back.” Wait. I just totally contradicted my earlier statement because I’m now talking about a guy. Ugh.

“What? What do you mean, ‘back’?”

“He’s a Cub now,” I reply.

I hear her talking to Ross in the background asking if he knew about this.
“What? You knew? And you didn’t tell me? He’s been here since Friday? You found out
two weeks ago
? You saw him
Sunday
? Are you out of your mind? God! The
one
time you decide to actually keep a secret and it’s something this big? Just what other secrets are you keeping from me? Huh? Your ass is
so
sleeping on the couch tonight!”
I hear a door slam then she comes back on the line with me and I know she’s locked herself in their bedroom.