Her Darkest Road (Roughneck #4) (7 page)

Chapter 14

Samantha’s screams woke me from my sleep. I was in the lounge chair in my bedroom. I tried to stay awake all night to watch Belinda, but my exhaustion had won. My eyes darted to the bed as I stood. Belinda wasn’t there anymore. I ran into Samantha’s room, my heart racing, panic taking over.

Samantha was alone in her room, standing in her crib, crying.

“What is it, angel?” I said as I looked behind me. There wasn’t anyone there.

“Beary,” she said as she wiped her sleepy eyes with her fist.

I looked in her bed for her bear that she slept with every night. He wasn’t there. I checked the floor and under her crib. It was gone. My thoughts went to Belinda. I grabbed another stuffed animal from Samantha’s shelf and put it beside her. She was so sleepy, she cuddled against it and went back to sleep immediately.

I searched the house, looking for Belinda. I walked into the living room and noticed the front door was open slightly. I opened it, and looked around outside. There was no sign of her. I walked back into our bedroom to check one last time before I called the police. That’s when I saw it. There was a black spiral notebook sitting on the bed. It was tattered, and I was drawn to it. My feet moved to the bed, I had to see what was in it. I sat on the bed and opened the notebook.

Joe,

I should be happy. I don’t understand what is happening to me. I love you. I need you. They scream at me. They never stop. I want them to stop. Please make them stop. I love you.

Joe,

She was here. She tried to make me eat. I didn’t want to eat. Please don’t make me go back to that house. He makes me feel dirty. I hate him. Please don’t make me go back.

Joe,

They want me to hurt her. I don’t want to hurt her. He said she deserves it, the way she cries all the time. I can’t fight him. He’s stronger. He will win. He always wins.

Joe,

I feel like a film has been lifted over my eyes. I can see clearer. They’re gone. I’m scared they will come back, but for now they’re gone. I want to be happy. I want to be a good wife and a good mom. Don’t give up on me.

Momma,

I’ll never forgive you for what you let him do. You let him touch me. You didn’t stop him. You blamed me. It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t want him to touch me. I cried for you. You didn’t come. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my fault.

Samantha,

Please don’t cry. It makes him angry. He’s stronger than me.

Joe,

I’m not stupid. I know what you are doing. I know what you want. You won’t stop them. He knows you are trying to get rid of him. He won’t let you. He’s stronger than me. He’s stronger than you. He’s stronger than her. She’s taking his side. She thinks he’s right. She loves him. He’s evil. He always wins. Don’t push them away, they will fight back and I can’t stop them.

Samantha,

They are quiet today. I don’t know where they are, I know they will be back. So I need you to understand. Please don’t hate me. I don’t want them to hurt you. But I can’t stop them. Just please be quiet. Don’t cry. I’ll do my best to take care of you. Don’t tell your dad about the things they say. He won’t understand. Joe loves you more than he loves me. He will get rid of me. I don’t want to leave you. He will send me back to that house. The dark house. Don’t let him send me to the dark house.

Joe,

They’re coming for me. He said it’s green. Green in my head. In the shed. Left for dead. In my head. Left for dead. Left for dead. Green in my head.

Jesus,

She said you were coming. She promised me. I waited for you. You didn’t bring me to the ship. He said you wouldn’t come but I didn’t believe him. I waited for 73 days. Where are you?

Joe,

You make him angry. He knows you are watching us. He’s looking for the bugs in the house. I think he’s right. I see the way you look at me. You never loved me. You only want to take me to the ship. Not the good one, the bad ship. The one that’s going to send me to the president. I heard you on the phone with him. I hate you both. I hate you. You make me hate you.

Joe,

I know it’s not that bad. I try to tell them, but they heard you. They know what you are planning. Please stop. I tried to cover for you, but they know better. You won’t make it. He promised me. The president can’t save you. Stop calling him. He doesn’t listen to me. Not anymore. She told me this would happen. I tried to love you. I tried to be good. I didn’t want to see you bleed.

I WONT LET YOU TAKE HER

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

THEY ARE COMING FOR YOU

LISTEN TO ME

LISTEN TO ME

ME

ME

ME

ME

JOE,

I CAN’T DO THIS

Chapter 15

Belinda

“Ring around the rosy, pocket full of posy. Ashes, ashes. We all fall down.”

I liked to sing sometimes. It made me happy. I wish I could sing to my baby. I missed her. She was pretty.

“Stop fucking singing!” he screamed.

“I think it’s nice,” she said with a giggle.

“I said fucking stop!” he growled.

“Ok. Ok,” I said.

I wanted to keep him happy. He always caused a scene when he was angry. I felt the bus come to a stop. What was that screeching sound?

“It’s loud!” she cried. “Make it stop!” he begged. She cried so much. I didn’t like to hear her cry, it made me sad.

I covered my ears.

“SSHHHHHH” I said with my hands over my ears.

“Hey lady.” I heard from behind.

“Lady, you forgot your shoes,” a scary man said. He had glass over his eyes and his hair had worms coming out of it. He was holding a pair of shoes in his hands.

“Get away from him!” she screeched in my ear. She was crying again.

“Kill him!” he said. “Slit his fucking throat.”

“No! Stop!” I yelled. He wanted to me kill everyone. He hated everyone.

“What?” the scary man said. “Do you want your shoes or not?” he said as the worms started to grow.

“Get away from him! Hurry Bells!” she cried so loud in my head.

“Just fucking kill him and get it over with, you fucking pussy!” he said to me.

“I don’t want to, stop!” I yelled at him.

“Suit yourself,” the scary man said, and threw my shoes in the seat.

“Crazy bitch,” the man mumbled as he brushed past me.

“NOW! NOW! NOW!” he screamed.

“Stop being so mean all the time!” she cried.

“Stop it, please. Stop it, please. Stop it, please,” I whispered over and over. Sometimes if I repeated myself over and over they would stop. I needed off this bus, I couldn’t breathe.

“Next time you pay,” the little Chinese man with the kind eyes said as I walked past him.

“Shhh…” I whispered with my index finger against my lips. I didn’t want to make him mad again. The little man just shook his head and shooed me off the bus.

When my feet hit the ground, they went to sleep. The cold air must have made them sleepy. I watched as my breath looked like smoke. Suddenly, I felt so tired. I always tried to sleep when they did. My feet were cold. Why did the man with the worms have to hold my shoes? I needed them.

I looked ahead and saw a bridge, and then looked at the sky. It must have decided to greet me because little drops of cold water started hitting my face. It was dry under the bridge. I took the baby bear and put it in my back pack. I didn’t want her to get wet. Because if she got wet, she would cry. I didn’t want her to cry. We could snuggle under the bridge and stay warm together. I picked up a few blades of grass on my way to the bridge. The baby bear liked the grass. I knew it wasn’t her favorite, but she was hungry and needed to eat. She used to be mean, but she was nice now. I wanted her to get her belly full. That way she wouldn’t cry.

I climbed under the bridge where it was dry. I found a corner that was clean and put my baby blanket out to sit on. I grabbed the baby bear and fed her the grass. She smiled before she went to sleep. I’m glad I could make her happy. I just needed a little nap. I curled up into a ball and made sure to keep the baby bear warm.

The sound of a truck over my head woke me from my sleep.

“Shhh,” I whispered.

“Good morning, baby bear,” I whispered, and kissed her head. She smiled again. That made me happy.

“Throw that fucking bear away!” he screamed.

“No, she loves her,” she said.

I squeezed her tight, I didn’t want to throw her away; she was my baby bear.

I stood up to stretch my legs, but had to walk away from the bridge to stand up straight. I noticed the moon shining on the water. It was so pretty.

“Pretty,” I said quietly.

“Let’s go see it,” she said.

I liked when she had fun ideas. The water looked so shiny, and had little white caps from the wind. I wanted to see it closer. The side of the bridge was blocking my full view, so I decided to walk to the center of the bridge.

“Throw the fucking bear in the water!” he screamed.

“I don’t want to,” I whispered as I looked over the side of the bridge.

“Do it!” he growled. Why was he so mean all the time?

“Please, I don’t want to.” I begged. Why wasn’t she helping me?  I knew she would always take his side. She always got quiet when she agreed with him. It wasn’t fair.

“Then jump with it,” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“You and that fucking bear…jump!” he demanded.

“But I never learned to swim,” I said. I was getting scared. He was stronger, and I always had to do what he said. It was a rule.

“I can swim! We can fly there!” she chirped in.

“Fucking jump!” he said.

He won. He always won.

I was flying.

I love you, baby bear.

Epilogue

Sam

Present Day

“Do you really have to leave, Papa?” Maggie asked, with her bottom lip poking out, batting her big blue eyes at my dad. She could play him like a fiddle and she knew it.

“Yes, ma’am,” Dad said as he pulled Maggie on his lap, and planted a kiss on her cheek. “We’ve got a long drive ahead of us.” He chuckled and looked over at Vickie, who still looked at him like they were newlyweds. She loved my dad more than anything, and I was so grateful for the day he walked into the diner she was working at all those years ago.

“No go, Papa,” Brayden said as he tugged on my dad’s pant leg, and tried to scoot Maggie away. He loved his Papa and didn’t like to share him, especially with his sister.

“Bray, no pushing,” I said sternly as I watched my daddy put Brayden on his other knee.

“Aw, there’s room for both of them, Angel,” My dad said with a grin, and then kissed Brayden on the forehead and rubbed his scruffy chin against his cheek.

“Ow, Papa!” Brayden laughed as dad’s beard tickled his face. The deep chuckle that escaped my dad’s throat made me smile. He loved his grandkids.

“I’ll be back in two weeks, you know I can’t stay away from y’all very long,” he said as he planted a kiss on top of both of their heads.

“Pinkie promise,” Maggie said, and held up her pinky, which daddy grabbed and shook.

“Pinkie promise,” Dad repeated. This was their ritual, every time.

Dad stood up, and we all started to say our goodbyes.

“Moon keeping them feeders full?” Dad asked as he wrapped his arms around me.

“Of course,” I said with a laugh. Hunting season started next month, and they always went to the stand the first weekend.

“That’s my boy,” Dad said as he nodded his head.

“He wants to have a BBQ when you come back in, sound good?” I asked.

“Jase gonna make brisket?” Dad asked with a grin.

“Of course,” I said.

“Hell yeah, then!” Dad laughed.

“Omm…Papa!” Brayden said as he tugged at my jeans, tattling on his grandpa.

“Sorry, buddy,” he said, and then gave me a smile.

“Mackenzie called this morning, Kash has a few days off, so they’re flying in. They wanted to visit before Mackenzie was too far along to travel.  Plus, they haven’t been back in almost a year.”

“Sounds like a plan, Angel,” Dad said as he kissed my cheek.

I walked over to Vickie and pulled her into a hug.

“Y’all be careful,” I whispered. “Love you, mom.”

“Love you, too, my beautiful girl,” she said as she planted a kiss on each of my cheeks.

They both walked to the front door when I saw Vickie give my dad a look.

“Honey?” she whispered to my dad.

My dad let out a little sigh, and pulled an envelope out of his back pocket.

“I want you to read this, later on tonight, after the kids go to bed,” he said with a sad smile.

“What is it?” I said nervously. “Are you ok?” I always worried about him.

“I’m fine, Angel. Just something I should have done a long time ago,” he said as he ruffled my hair, the same way he has done for as long as I can remember.

“Ok,” I whispered, unsure and curious at the same time.

“I love you, Angel,” He said as he hugged me once more.

“I love you, daddy,” I said as they headed for the door.

“Bye Papa! Bye Mama!” both of the kids said in unison, and we all laughed.

Later that night

I sat on the bed with the envelope in my hand, waiting for Moon to get out of the shower. My mind had been racing all day, wondering what was inside. I wanted to open it, but then again, I didn’t. Dad had assured me he was ok, so I had to take his word.

“Whatcha got there, Darlin?” Moon asked as he walked out of our bathroom in a pair of boxers, and looking just as gorgeous as he did the day I married him. Probably more so, he had grown into this amazing hard working man, a wonderful husband and the perfect father. Not to mention, he was sexy as hell.

“Daddy left it for me today,” I said as I patted his side of the bed.

“You haven’t opened it?” he asked.

“No, I wanted to wait until you got home,” I said as he slid in beside me, and I tucked myself into him. We fit together perfectly, we always would.

“Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s fine,” Moon reassured me, and then kissed my nose. He always knew exactly what I needed.

I let out a sigh and then opened the envelope.