Just This Once (13 page)

It was eight weeks before she was released from the hospital, and only then under 24-hour care. Heather took a leave of absence from her job and moved into Wynne’s twostory townhouse, taking charge of the woman’s day to day care.

When the physical therapy sessions started, it was Heather who consulted with the therapist so that she could help Wynne at home; and it was Heather who encouraged the injured woman to push through the pain to rebuild the strength and stamina she had lost.

Looking back, it was hard for Wynne to imagine how she ever would have recovered without the woman’s dedicated help.

Three months after the accident, Heather returned to work, but continued to spearhead the physical therapy sessions, adjusting her schedule so that she could drive the patient back and forth. Even as she worked full-time, she managed to see to Wynne’s every need, cooking, bathing, keeping house. During these months of recovery, Wynne could see clearly the growing devotion and affection in this woman who had come to be such an integral part of her rehabilitation. In truth, she sometimes felt smothered by Heather’s attentions.

The marketer returned to work after four months, part-time at first, but gradually resuming her heavy workload. Two more minor surgeries on her leg sidelined her for a while, but with Heather’s dependable help, her rehab continued until all that remained was her nagging limp and the predictable soreness from her not-yet-mended femur.

At the eight-month mark, Heather poured out her heart to the recovering woman, confessing that she had fallen deeply in love. The lease was up on her apartment, and she needed either to sign another or to move out. That forced a decision Wynne really wasn’t ready to make.

Though she still felt no spark between them, she had grown to care for the younger woman, and to value the friendship they had forged from endless hours of conversation and very personal care. Heather had certainly seen her at her worst, and at 33 years old, Wynne doubted that anyone else would ever show her such devotion. Reservations notwithstanding, the women became lovers.

Almost immediately, she knew that it had been a mistake to move their relationship to a more intimate level. Their lovemaking was passionless, and something Wynne never initiated. There were times that she would nearly cry in frustration at her inability to climax, no matter what they did. She hated herself for the deception, but faking orgasms in order to end their lovemaking had become the standard.

After only six months together as lovers, Wynne had tried to talk to Heather, hoping that she might be willing to return things between them to a platonic level. But Heather had persuaded her to give it more time; that things would get better between them when Wynne put her injury behind her.

Wynne couldn’t forget that this woman had practically given up her own needs and concerns to invest in her return to health, and such a sacrifice wasn’t to be taken lightly.

Besides, when their relationship moved to lovers, Heather had given up her own home and much of her second-hand furniture, and now had no place to go.

In the last few months, things between the women had taken a turn for the worse, or at least they had for Wynne. Heather was estranged from her parents and had little patience for the way her lover catered to her mother’s needs. The more Kitty Connelly called on Wynne, the more Heather resented it, now to the point that she objected each time Kitty asked for help with something, or even whenever she wanted to stop by the townhouse.

Wynne managed the strain by keeping the parties apart, but the stress of putting up with Heather’s disapproval was wearing on her nerves.

Add to that Wynne’s own depression at the realization of the true foundation of their relationship: obligation. Simply put, Wynne had owed the woman too much to deny her what she asked. But she would never love Heather in a romantic way, nor would she ever feel sexual attraction.

“Why don’t you come watch
Friends
with me?” the younger woman called from the living room.

Wynne rinsed her bowl and placed it in the dishwasher. “I’m going up to bed. I’m really tired.”

“Yeah, what was with that late flight last night?”

“Just a late meeting. I missed the earlier flight.”

“Why don’t you come sit with me and I’ll rub your neck?”

“Thanks, but I think I’ll soak in the tub for awhile then go on to bed.” Without waiting for a reply, Wynne labored up the staircase to the second floor. Ten minutes later, she was lowering herself in a steaming bubble bath when her lover appeared in the doorway.

“Got room for me in there?”

Wynne couldn’t hide her grimace at the intimate suggestion. “I’m tired, Heather. I just want to soak a while until my leg feels better then get some sleep.”

The younger woman’s shoulders slumped at the rejection. “I’m just trying to meet you halfway, Wynne. I know you hate the TV so I turned it off. What else would you have me do?”

The exhausted woman didn’t want to play this game. “I just want to rest. I don’t care if you want to watch TV.”

“You act like you don’t care what I do at all. You’ve barely said hello since you got back last night. Why is it so hard to accept that I might want to spend a little time with you tonight? You’ve been away from me for the last four days. Surely you don’t need more time to yourself.”

That’s exactly what she needed, Wynne thought. “Heather, look…I’m sorry but my leg is sore and I’m tired. I have another long day tomorrow and I need to be ready for it.”

“Yeah, and I heard you’re not going to be around on Saturday either.” Now angry, Heather shut the door loudly in retreat, leaving the tall woman to sigh deeply and slip lower into the mass of bubbles.

———

“What do you mean moving?” Janelle’s brown eyes were wide with panic.

“Shhhh! I haven’t told Mom yet.” Wynne guided her younger sister into the study and shut the door. “Janelle, this is an opportunity I’ve wanted for a long time. It’s always been my dream to achieve something like this at work. You know that. I have to take it.”

“Wynne, who’s going to take care things for Mom? I can’t handle that. I’ve already got enough on my plate with school and Sophie,” the younger sister pleaded frantically.

“Janelle, it isn’t my responsibility to take care of Mom. She’s a grown woman. She should start taking care of herself. Maybe she’ll do that if I’m not here to handle every little problem.”

“Now you sound like Heather.”

Ouch!
The truth of that was inescapable.

“I bet she’s thrilled with all of this. Now she gets you all to herself,” Janelle groused.

“I haven’t told her about the job yet. I…I’m not going to ask her to come with me.”

“What!”

“I just think this is a good time to end things. We’re just not…all that good together.”

“I can’t imagine Miss Congeniality would be good with anybody.”

“Janelle, that’s not fair. Heather was very kind to me when I really needed it. I don’t know how I’d ever have made it through all that without her help.”

“I can answer that, Wynne. Mom and I would have been there for you and you know it. Maybe if you had given Mom a chance, she would have figured out that she wasn’t so helpless after all.”

“I wasn’t exactly in a position to make decisions for myself, was I?”

“No, but when you did get better, you let that woman take over your life,” Janelle complained. “Do you have any idea how many times Heather told us not to come by because you were resting, or because you needed to focus on your therapy, or because the two of you were…busy, whatever busy meant.”

Wynne’s face reddened at the obvious sexual innuendo. She hated to think that Heather would have given away the privacy of that aspect of their life. Her mother had had enough difficulty with the prospect of her oldest daughter being gay without having it thrown in her face.

“Mommy!” The little voice came from beyond the door, the child obviously scurrying from room to room in her search.

“In here, sweetie.” Janelle opened the study door to welcome her daughter.

Wynne was grateful for the diversion, her head spinning from her sister’s reaction to the news. If Janelle was this bad, how was her mother going to take all this? And worse, how would she deal with Heather?

———

“So have you seen The Beautiful Woman from Baltimore?” That’s the name Val had assigned her friend’s new romantic interest.

“Yeah, she came over for dinner Tuesday night.” Paula wasn’t sure she was ready to share the details of her night with Wynne Connelly. She could hardly believe it herself —

they had spent a wonderful…erotic…passion-filled night together and had seemed to connect at every turn.

“How many more visits does she have?” Both women stood before the mirror doing curls.

“Just one for sure. If they keep her on, I guess she’ll get a chance to come down every now and then.”

“I take it that means you two aren’t going to pursue anything serious.” Val traded the 10-pound dumbbell for one twice that heavy, this time to stretch the long muscles along her shoulder and neck.

Her friend’s question prompted a surprising rush of feelings — none of them very comforting. “I don’t know. I guess realistically, the answer is no. But if there was a way we could work it out, I’d be willing to give it a try.”

“How do you think she feels?”

“I’m not sure.” Paula was pretty certain that Wynne had feelings for her, but the scope of those feelings was unclear. There was definitely something there, but outside of the utterances that poured forth during the heat of their passion, neither woman had said much of anything beyond letting the other know she was special.

“So maybe next week you should raise a stakes a little,” Val suggested mischievously.

“You know, soft music, candlelight…a little massage oil.”

Paula blushed, now feeling guilty at holding out on her friend. She was dying to talk to somebody, and Val was really the only one she could safely say anything to. “We uh, already sort of did that.”

“What!” The bar manager looked at her with both shock and thrill. “You mean you two already…?” Val made a little finger through the circle motion with her hands.

“You’re so crude,” she said, feigning disgust. “But yes, we…,” Paula mimicked the gesture, adding, “…among other things.”

On that note, Val now sported a small blush of her own. “Careful there, not too much information.”

“You’re the one that asked.”

“So the two of you had sex and you still don’t know how she feels?”

Paula found herself a little embarrassed at her friend’s frank implication, but there was really no dodging it. “I don’t know how to explain it. It feels like there’s something there, but it’s like we both know that a real relationship probably isn’t feasible, so we just sort of…took a shortcut. I know she likes me. But the sex thing just happened. It really wasn’t about expressing any feelings.” At least it probably wasn’t about feelings as far as Wynne was concerned. Paula noted the look of doubt on her friend’s face. “Don’t you just sometimes get…carried away with somebody who’s really hot?”

“Maybe once…or twice,” she conceded. “So how was it?”

Paula returned the dumbbells to the rack, contemplating her response. “I think I’m ruined for anyone else.”

“Uh-oh.”

“Uh-oh is right.”

Chapter 11

The marketing manager was glad to be back at her desk on Monday morning. She had planned on talking with her mother on Saturday afternoon and with Heather on Sunday, but after Janelle’s response, she lost her nerve. Things were so tense at home yesterday that she and Heather had barely spoken.

Cheryl Williams had obviously been working over the weekend, Wynne noted, as her email box was filled with a series of messages on the new job and the upcoming presentation.

CWilliams Presentation — final copy
Wynne downloaded this one to study later.

CWilliams New York
This was an unexpected but very welcome invitation to come to New York with Ken, Cheryl, and Wendell for the presentation to the stock analysts in three weeks.

CWilliams Contract
This time, Wynne went straight to the downloaded document. It was a detailed job description, packed with the kinds of tasks in which the marketer reveled. The new job would require travel, estimated at once or twice a month at first, perhaps more later as Eldon-Markoff expanded or acquired new companies.

In addition to the contract was a draft of the official offer, which almost took her breath away: Her new base salary would be $126,000. She was eligible for an annual bonus worth up to half her salary if corporate and department goals were met, and she would also receive stock options each year.

Eldon-Markoff would pay all of her moving expenses, including real estate commissions and closing costs. She was expected to start full time in Orlando six weeks from today.

That last part lit a fire under her. She needed to contact a real estate agent to put her townhouse on the market, so she’d have to talk to Heather soon. Tonight…she would talk to Heather tonight.

PMcKenzie Your next visit
A knot formed in Wynne’s stomach as she hovered the mouse over the subject line. There hadn’t been a waking hour in the week since she’d been home that she hadn’t thought at least once about Paula McKenzie and the exciting things they’d done, or the wonderful things she’d felt. Each time, the guilt grabbed her and pulled her back down to earth.

Hi Wynne, Well, this is my usual mid-week note — you know, the one where I say that I had a great time seeing you on your last visit and that I hope we can get together again next time to do something fun. The words are certainly true again, but somehow they just don’t seem to say enough this time.

I don’t really know how to say this, so I’ll just blurt it out. I’m really looking forward to seeing you again, but I don’t want to be presumptuous.

I’m open for anything you’d like to do.

Paula
Wynne felt the tears well up, deeply sad that she’d just played it all wrong. In six weeks, she’d be moving to Orlando…single. Paula was someone she might have had a future with had she not gotten carried away last week. If she’d kept her distance and told the truth, things may have worked out; but hiding the truth about Heather at this point was out of the question. As it was, she didn’t deserve to have something that nice after all.