Lawful Overdose (11 page)

“Yes, baby, that’s it…. just like that… don’t
stop.”

His words give me confidence and I start sucking a
little harder, my hands and mouth moving a little faster in unison.

I can feel him getting closer and I want him to
come all over me. I bite down gently, grazing my teeth across his tip.

“Fuck, Tessa. I want inside of you.”

He lifts me up by my armpits and slams me against
the shower wall. I barely have time to register the movement before he has my
legs wrapped around him and he’s thrusting inside me. It’s wild and out of
control. Every thrust is a little harder, faster, and completely takes over my
body. I go from zero to sixty in the blink of an eye, and I’m about to come.

I try to hold off and wait for him, but when his
mouth grazes the sensitive spot under my ear, it’s my undoing. I climax,
screaming his name over and over. He follows right behind me and I can feel him
fill me with his cum.

I’m sweating, my breathing is erratic, and when
Jaxon removes his cock from inside me, I can feel his cum run down my leg.

Thank God, we’re in a shower.

I start to rinse myself off when Jaxon’s hands take
over.

“Let me, baby.”

Using the body wash, he washes every inch of my
body. I return the favor and wash him off before we get out of the shower.

We change quickly in his room before Jaxon leaves
with me to bring me to class. We stop to get coffee on the way before he kisses
me at the doorway to my lecture hall.

“I’ve got to go into work for a little bit and then
I have class this evening. Do you need me to pick you up when you’re done or do
you think you can get a ride from Piper?”

“I’ll text Piper and have her pick me up with my Beetle.
I haven’t spent much one on one time with her in awhile. It’ll be good to catch
up.”

“You still spending the night at my place?”

I move in closer to him, my hands grasping his
shirt. “If you want me to, I’m there.”

His lips move to brush against mine. What’s meant
to be an innocent kiss turns into a public make-out session. His lips move
against mine as his tongue comes out to play. I suck his tongue into my mouth,
enjoying the taste of him. Before our pg-13 kissing session gets and R rating,
I break away from the kiss, panting in lust.

“Tessa, you know I want you there. I want you in my
bed every night and I want to wake up with you every morning. My life feels
like crap when you’re not beside me.” He hesitates before speaking again. I can
see he’s debating something in his head, but when he looks me in the eyes, it’s
clear he’s made his decision.

“Move in with me.” It’s not a question, more like a
statement.

“What?” I ask confused, even though it’s very clear
what he said.

“I want you to move in with me. I know it’s fast. I
know we’ve only been dating for a month and I’ve only known you six weeks, but
I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. Move in with me.”

I’m stunned, shocked. I don’t think I could open my
mouth and respond even if I wanted to. This is so fast, too fast. I’m only
twenty. He’ll be leaving at the end of the year, what about Piper? Where will
she stay? She can’t live by herself, it’s not safe.

“You don’t have to answer now, just promise me
you’ll think about it."

I nod my head, indicating that yes, I will think
about it. It’s the best response he’s going to get at the moment. He kisses me
briefly before leaving me so I can go to class.

I make my way to my seat, but I can’t focus. I
don’t know why I even showed up today. My brain isn’t retaining any of the
information my professor is spewing out. All I can think of is Jaxon and how
easy it is to be with him. Although I’m internally freaking out, deep down I
know I want to do this. I’m basically living there as it is. What would be the
harm in making it official?

I’d have to talk to Piper first. I couldn’t move in
with him if she wasn’t okay with it. I would never do that to my best friends.
I’ll let her know what he asked me, what my thoughts are, and see what she
thinks. I can always get an honest answer from her.

Before I know it, class is over and I’m texting
Piper to come pick me up in the quad. She’s already on campus so we decide to
eat an early dinner.

“Can you believe Ryder put us both on shift
tomorrow night? I mean, we worked for the man all summer, you think he could
give us the first few Friday nights of the school year off.”

I sit down across from her and grab one of the
complimentary breadsticks on the table.

“Give him a break, Pipe. He always treats us well,
and we can always go out afterward.”

“I guess you're right.”

Our waitress comes over and takes our order. We
both order the endless pasta bowls because it’s cheap, and we get unlimited
breadsticks.

“I got a text from Ryan, saying the boys got called
into work when their class gets out.”

I frown in disappointment. I was looking forward to
talking to Jaxon about us moving in together.

“That sucks, they’re always working so hard.
They’re going to be the best damn pharmacists the world has ever seen,” I joke.

“Yeah, well their loss is our gain, we’re going out
tonight. Mikey is having a big back to campus party.”

I’m unable to hide my disappointment. Although
Mikey has been respectful of my new relationship, things have been awkward
between us.

“I don’t know if I should go, Piper. He probably
doesn’t want me there.”

“Nonsense, he’s the one who told me to tell you
about it.”

We finish our dinner and I reluctantly agree to go
to the party. The distraction might do me some good; otherwise I’ll be sitting
on Jaxon’s couch, watching the time slowly tick away.

By the time ten o’clock rolls around, Piper and I
are showered, dressed to impress, and walking into the two-story house that
Mikey and a few of his friends rent out. The music is pumping and I see a line
of kegs on the floor in the kitchen.

We go to make ourselves a cocktail when I notice
there is no hard liquor anywhere.

“Where’s the good stuff?” I shout over the music to
Piper.

She shrugs her shoulders, as confused as I am, and
starts digging through the cabinets.

I feel an arm wrap around my waist from behind me,
I’m about to turn around and slap whoever is touching me when I hear, “I’m so
glad you made it, Trigger,” being whispered in my ear.

I turn around to face a drunk Mikey. His cheeks are
red, his eyes glazed over and his speech is slurred. I’m stunned because he’s
never this drunk so early in the night.

“Hey Mikey, where’s the liquor?”

“There is none. Last time we had a party there were
broken glasses and bottles everywhere. My roommates and I decided to make this
a keg and plastic cup exclusive party.”

I nod my head and turn in Piper’s direction.

“You can stop looking, Pipe. It’s a beer only
party.”

I watch her close the cabinets and make her way to
one of the kegs.

“So how’ve you been, Trigger. We don’t get to talk
much now that you’re dating that tool, Jaxon.”

“Shut the fuck up, Mikey. You know Jaxon’s a nice
guy.”

He huffs as if what I just said is funny.

“What?” I ask him.

“Nothing.”

“No, what? You obviously have something to say to
me so just say it. You’ve got a problem with Jaxon, and I want to know what it
is.”

He pulls me closer to him and whispers in my ear. I
know it’s because he doesn’t want to shout it across the room, but I feel
uncomfortable. This position seems too intimate on his part.

“He’s not who he says he is.”

I move my ear away from his lips and look into
Mikey’s eyes. I’m so confused by this statement. Mikey is trying to start shit
and he’s not even doing a good job at it.

“What do you mean? Who is he then?”

“Just trust me, Tessa. Something’s off about him, I
can feel it.”

“Mikey, just stop. You sound really pathetic right
now, warning me away from a guy, but having no reason to do so. When you’ve got
real information to share with me, then we’ll talk."

I go to move away from him when he grabs my bicep.
I turn, giving him my full attention.

“Where is lover boy tonight?”

I tug my arm away from his, pulling away from his
grip.

“Working. He and Ryan have to work late and that’s
the only reason I agreed to come to your party. I should have stayed home.”

“He’s working, huh?”

“Yes, Mikey, how much clearer do I have to be?”

Mikey grabs a hold of my shoulders, turning me
around so my back is to his front. His lips lower to my ear.

“If Mr. Perfect is working, why is he over there in
the corner talking to Rocks and some girls?”

I’m unable to speak, to come back with a witty
retort. All I see is Jaxon and Jimmy huddled, looking intense, while three
girls flirt and try to make their way into the huddle. I watch their exchange.
It goes from being intense one minute to laughing the next.

“They’re friends, Mikey.”

“Your man is friends with Jimmy? Doesn’t that go
against your whole ‘I don’t associate with drug dealers’ agenda? Are there new
rules to your friendship guidelines that I don’t know about?”

Mikey’s right. The old me wouldn’t be friends with
Jaxon, never mind date him, if he hung out with a known drug dealer. I can’t
even pretend this is the first time I’ve seen them together. Come to think of
it, every time I’ve seen Jaxon at a party he is around Jimmy.

I watch as Ryan leans into Jaxon and whispers
something in his ear. His face briefly turns pale before he quickly masks it
and puts a smile on his face. I watch him scan the room until his eyes meet
mine.

I’m waiting for him to freak out that I’ve caught
him, run over and make an excuse to why he lied. Instead his smile grows
bigger, and he casually excuses himself from Jimmy before walking my way.

“Hey, baby.” His lips gently press against my
temple. “I was looking for you earlier. Ryan said you’d be here.”

Ryan?

“I thought you and Ryan had to work, that’s what
Piper told me.”

“We did, Tessa, but when we showed up our boss
wasn’t there to let us in. We sat around and waited twenty minutes, and when
our boss still didn’t show we split. Ryan texted Piper and she told him to meet
her here.”

I look around the room, searching for Piper,
wanting her to confirm Jaxon’s story. I finally spot her against the wall in
the living room being publicly groped by Ryan. I guess Jaxon’s story is true.
Piper wouldn’t be sucking face with Ryan after catching him in a lie.

I turn back to face him, “Sorry. I was just
confused seeing you here. I thought you lied to me.”

His facial expression softens and he lifts my chin
with his thumb.

“Look at me.”

I look up so my eyes meet his.

“What? Did you think I was cheating on you?”

I shake my head, “No, worse. I thought… I saw you
with Jimmy. Then Mikey implied that my rules had changed because I was with you
and you associate yourself with Jimmy. I thought… for a minute… that you might
be doing drugs.”

“Tessa, I would never-”

“But you’re with him a lot, Jaxon. It’s weird.”

“I’m not, baby. He comes and seeks me out. I’m not
a mean or rude person, so I engage in light conversation with him, that’s it.
If it makes you uncomfortable I’ll stop.”

I know I probably sound so irrational. He must
think I’m crazy because I’m implying who he can and cannot hang out with.

I take his hands without warning and walk out the
back of the house. There’s five cement steps that lead to the back yard and I
sit down on one of the steps, gesturing for Jaxon to do the same. I’m ready to
tell him everything.

Chapter Ten

You Can’t Take it
Back

“I need to explain a few things to you, so I
brought you out here where it’s a little quieter. I was evasive when we first
met, not wanting to tell you the complete story, but I think you need to know.
It’ll help explain why I’m so neurotic about drugs and maybe, maybe you won’t
think I’m so crazy.”

Jaxon moves closer to me and brings his hand to my
face, brushing my cheek softly with his thumb. “I could never think you’re
crazy. What I think of you, what I feel for you, is indescribable. I’ve never
felt this way and I want you to know, whatever it is, whatever your reasons are,
it will never change the way I feel about you.”

I lean forward to kiss his lips, needing his
affection for encouragement. When I pull away, I start to open up.

“I was a twin,” I say nervously. “I had an
identical sister and we were inseparable.  My parents named her Arabella,
which means beautiful lion. I was named Contessa meaning countess or royalty.
My mother was all about the meaning of your name being strong. We hated our
names and insisted on being called Bella and Tessa.

“We kept to ourselves a lot growing up. We didn’t
need anyone else to make us happy, and we only made new friends if both of us
agreed on the person. We were considered miracles in our parent’s eyes because
my mother had us so late in her life. My parents didn’t believe in birth control
so it’s always amazed me that I didn’t have twelve brothers and sisters.

“My mother and father are your classic definition
of hippies. My father’s a doctor and practices the holistic medical approach.
He never believed in western medicine. My mother is a massage therapist and
used to grow weed in our backyard. My sister and I never thought anything of
it. As far as we knew, our life was normal.”

I look over to make sure I haven’t shocked him too
much with the information I’m spewing out.  He’s watching me intensely,
and I can see how much he cares for me in his eyes, so I continue.

“When we got to high school, our lives were out of
control. We had no boundaries because our parents wanted it that way. They
wanted us to be free to make our own decisions. Now that I’m an adult, I see
how fucked up that is. Kids need boundaries. They need adults in their lives to
set examples, to show them what’s right and wrong.”

I can feel the unshed tears in the corners of my
eyes. I take a deep breath, trying to control the urge I have to start crying.
Jaxon, being the amazing guy he is, just sits and lets me have my moment. I can
tell he knows how hard this is for me to talk about.

“I started dating this guy, Randy. I was fourteen
and he was twenty-two. I met him through my mom; he was a client of hers. My
parents were okay with us dating because they believed age doesn’t matter when
you’re in love. It was sickening really. I thought I knew everything at
fourteen. In my eyes Randy was perfect because he could see that I was an old
soul. I was delusional and now that I’m an adult, I see how wrong the
relationship was. I wish my parents would’ve done something to stop it.

“We partied a lot and I always brought Bella with
me. I was drinking regularly at this point. I never did drugs though, I saw too
many people act like fucking idiots when they were high. I thought Bella felt
the same way.

“Randy and I would go out, get drunk, and fool
around a little, but I never slept with him. I wanted to hold on to my
virginity for a little while longer.”

I take a deep breath before I continue, preparing
for what I tell him next.

“One night we were partying at a friend of Randy’s
house. Randy and I had gotten into a fight and I stormed out, taking a walk to
cool my temper. I got back to the house an hour later and I couldn’t find Randy
anywhere. I started checking the bedrooms and I found him in one of them. He
was in the bed having sex with my sister. I started screaming at him, hitting
him while he was still inside her, then my anger turned to Bella.

“I was heartbroken. She was my best friend in the
world, the only person I trusted with everything I had, and she betrayed me.

“I said some pretty nasty things to her, realizing
after I was done that she was high as a kite and wouldn’t remember what
happened in the morning. Looking back at it now, I don’t even think she knew
who Randy or I were, she was that far gone.

“I threw her purse at her, cussing the entire time
and telling her to call me in the morning when she sobered up, and was clean
again. I left the house and went home, never looking back.”

I’m unable to hold the tears back as they start to
flow uncontrollably. Jaxon pulls me into his arms and holds me, letting me cry
into his shoulder as he softly caresses my back.

“Shhh, it’s okay, Tessa. I’m not leaving. Shhh…”

I settle down and my tears stop falling. I pull
away from Jaxon and wipe my eyes with the back of my hands.

“The next morning I was woken up by someone
pounding on our front door. I went to go answer it and I was greeted by two
police officers. My parents entered the room a few seconds later and the
officers asked us to sit down. We did as they said and that was when we were
told Bella was dead. She died of an apparent heroin overdose. It would take
several days to confirm, but heroin was found on her body at the scene.

“Time froze as I went over the events from the day
before. There are so many things I could have done differently, but the biggest
mistake I made that night was leaving her there. I knew how trashed she was, I
knew she was on something, but I was so angry with her that I just left. I
started blaming myself for the fact that I wouldn’t sleep with Randy. In my
eyes, if I had fucked him he would have never sought out my sister that night
and we would have never gotten into that fight. I would have never left her
there.”

“Tessa, you were fourteen. Give yourself a break.”

“I know. I know I was fourteen and believe it or
not, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I left her there. It was stupid and
dumb, but I was young and immature. I even recently stopped blaming myself for
not sleeping with Randy.

“After Bella’s death I became promiscuous. A boy
from my high school took my virginity the night of Bella’s funeral. He was
older than me and I just wanted to forget.

“He walked over to me after the service and asked
if I was okay. I remember asking him to drive me home. When we got to his car I
practically jumped him. He carried me to the back seat and a few minutes later
I was no longer a virgin.

“I remember feeling loved in those few moments. My
parents hadn’t said two words to me since Bella died; they blamed me for
leaving her. I blamed them for being such shitty parents. I needed someone to
comfort me; I didn’t know how to handle death. That night I found comfort in
sex so I continued to do it, but I always made sure not to let anyone in. I
couldn’t go through what I went through again. Letting someone in was too
risky.

“I cut ties with all my old friends. I was no
longer friends with anyone that associated with drugs. I blamed them, I blamed
my parents, I blamed anyone I possibly could.

“It’s gotten easier now and I’m not as angry as I
was, but I still have a problem with drugs. Being around them makes me think of
my sister and I get angry. I don’t want to be an angry person anymore, so I’ve
chosen to keep that poison out of my life. It’s worked so far, too. I’m a lot
happier than I was.”

I smile at Jaxon, hoping he realizes I’m happier
because of him.

“When I saw you with Jimmy, I freaked out. I keep
having thoughts of you doing drugs or selling them and my heart can’t take it.
I love you too much to watch anything bad happen to you.”

I don’t even realize what I’ve said, but I’m
instantly on alert when I see Jaxon’s body tense up.

“What’s wrong?”

Nothing, he says nothing. I start to go over
everything that I said to him, wondering where I went wrong.

Shit.

I just told him I love him and didn’t even remember
doing it. Now he’s staring at me as if I’ve grown an extra head, or have three
eyeballs.

“I didn’t mean-”

“Yes, you did,” he says firmly. “And you can’t take
it back, I won’t let you.”

Before I can argue again, he kisses my lips soft
and sweet. I can sense his urgency and desperation to have me. I let out a moan
as his mouth moves from mine to kiss a trail across my cheek, to my ear.

“You meant every word,” he says huskily, his tongue
sucking on the skin below my ear. My eyes roll to the back of my head as I
allow my head to fall back. His mouth feels so good on my skin.

“I know you meant it because I can feel it.” His
tongue licks a trail to my ear lobe. “I’ve felt your love for a while.”

He sucks my earlobe into his mouth, grazing it with
his teeth before he gently bites down,

“And I love you, too,” he whispers. It’s so soft I
almost don’t hear it.

I move my head away from his to look into his eyes.
For the first time I can see the love he has for me in them. He looks at me in
a way I’ve never seen before, a way no one has ever looked at me.

“How can you say that? How can you love me after
what I just told you? How could anyone love me?” I croak, holding back tears.

“Tessa,” he says, almost painfully. “How could I
not? How could anyone who knows you, not love you? You mean the world to me. I
want to spend every second of my life with you. When I’m not with you, I’m counting
down the minutes until I finally get to see you again.

“You have some shitty people in your life so I
understand why you’ve never felt loved, but I love you. I’ve known it for
awhile now and I’m going to show you how much I love you, everyday.”

His words strike a chord with me and I’m instantly
attacking him. My lips crush his, it’s like I’m afraid it’s my last meal, and I
want to eat as much as possible before my plate’s taken away.

He instantly responds, his hands in my hair,
running down my back and under my ass. Everywhere he touches me is scolding hot
and I need his body to calm down the fire.

He lays me down on the cold concrete stairs and it
feels so good against my skin, but it also reminds me where we are.

“Jaxon," I pant. “We’ve got to stop.”

He looks up at me with hooded eyes. I watch him
take in our surroundings as he sits up and adjusts himself in his pants.

“Sorry, I guess I got a little out of control.”

“I like out of control Jaxon. He makes my body feel
things it’s never felt before.”

He smiles at me, “Then I like out of control Jaxon,
too.”

“Let’s go home and finish what we started.”

He looks at me wide-eyed and hopeful. He didn’t
miss the meaning in what I said.

“Home, as in your home, too? You’ll move in with
me?”

“Yes.”

I barely get the words out before he’s tossing me
over his shoulder. My ass is in his face and my head is upside down, getting a
glorious view of Jaxon's tight ass. I slap his cheeks hard.

“Put me down!” I scream.

“Oh, I’ll put you down. When we get home I’m going
to put you down and fuck you silly, claiming what’s mine. Once you’ve recovered
I’m going to devour every inch of you, slowly. I’m going to make love to my
girl, in her new home, and show her how much I love her. You okay with that?”

His words have started the fire back in my belly.

“Yes,” I practically moan.

“You’re mine, Tessa. Forever.”

And because I want to be his forever, because I
can’t imagine my life without him, I can’t imagine losing him; I say the only
words that are true.

“Yes, I’m yours. Forever.”

I just didn’t know my forever was going to end so
quickly.