Lawful Overdose (15 page)

Chapter Fourteen

Traitorous Bitch

The next week is brutal. Jaxon leaves me texts and
voicemails everyday and because I’m a glutton for punishment, I listen and read
every one. Piper somehow got Ryan to get him out of his apartment on Wednesday,
and that’s when Piper and I went in to get the rest of my things. It only took
about an hour and I was relieved when it was over.

I, however, was not feeling so great when the calls
started that evening. Jaxon was livid that I moved out without warning him. I
would argue that I made it very clear we were over and I was moving out, but I
couldn’t, because I wasn’t talking to him.

I worked a few shifts at Ryder’s and that wasn’t
any better. Each night I worked, Jaxon showed up towards the beginning of my
shift, sat in a corner booth, and watched me the entire time. It made me
completely uncomfortable. The only time he would ever leave is if his phone
rang. He’d get a call and then he’d be gone for a little while before coming
back and occupying the same booth. Lucky for me, the fourth night this occurred
Ryder had enough. He walked over to his brother’s booth, spoke with him for a
few minutes and kicked him out.

Oddly that was the last time I heard from Jaxon.
I’ve had three days of complete silence. I thought this was exactly what I
wanted, but I was sad he stopped trying. To be honest, I was worried. His
harassing phone calls and texts were normal for him. The silent treatment was
not.

He must have already found a new girl to seduce.

It’s now Sunday morning when I wake up and look at
my phone. No missed calls, no voicemails, no texts. The unbalanced side of me
goes to log in to Facebook to see if he’s left me a message there, and he
hasn’t. I shouldn’t be surprised, he’s not even on Facebook, and I was just
looking for any kind of connection to him.

It’s sick, I know it is and I’m completely aware I
need help, but I miss him. Part of me felt like he was still there because he
was texting and calling all the time. Now that he’s stopped, I truly feel
alone.

 I walk in the kitchen and see a chipper Piper
making pancakes. She’s humming to herself while pouring the batter and dancing
in her lingerie.

“Why are you so happy?”

She turns to look at me, and drops the batter
filled measuring cup on the ground.

“Shit! You scared me half to death.”

I watch her as she moves around in a panic, not
bothering to pick up the spilled batter. She moves towards me and pushes me to
my bedroom.

“Why are you up so early? I didn’t expect you out of
bed until at least noon.”

I look over my shoulder at the possessed body of my
best friend. This can be the only explanation to why she’s shoving me into my
bedroom. Before she can get me inside and locked away, a loud crash comes from
her bedroom.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” she says quickly. “I didn’t hear
anything.”

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think she was
cracked out on something.

I move to go back to my bedroom when everything
starts falling into place.

“Piper, I dropped your-”

He stops talking when he sees me. It’s all so clear
to me now. Piper wanted me back in my room so she could sneak Ryan out. The
traitorous bitch.

I turn to face my supposed best friend, “What the
hell?”

“I didn’t know you’d wake up. You weren’t suppose
to see him here.”

“So that makes it all better?”

I’m seeing red. The rational side of me knows I
have no reason to be so angry, but the irrational side has decided to take
over.

“Ryan did nothing wrong to you and if I decide to
have him over, that should be okay. It’s my apartment.”

“So that’s how it’s going to be? You’re right, it
is your apartment. I’ll get my things and be out by the end of the day.”

“Tessa, wait. That’s just stupid. Where the hell
are you going to go?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes, it matters, I love you. You’re being an idiot
and I’ll worry about you if you leave.”

I wasn’t concerned if she’d worry about me, but I
was concerned on where I would stay. I didn’t have very many close friends. I
had to reject the idea immediately of the only two people who popped in my
mind. Mikey would be a dumb decision and I would regret it in the morning, and
Ryder was Jaxon’s brother.

I decide to turn my anger on Ryan. I couldn’t risk
Piper kicking me out and Ryan should know better than to show up here.

“You,” I glare at Ryan. “You know I live here, so
why risk me seeing you. It’s not like you and Pipe are serious. Couldn’t you
find another chick to screw last night?”

I hear the slap before I feel it. Piper cracks me
across the cheek and I start to feel the tingling burn on my skin. I look up at
her, my hand covering my cheek, completely shocked.

“I know you’re angry, but you have no right to talk
like that. You’re insinuating things about me and I don’t like it.”

I see the hurt in her eyes and I instantly feel
remorse.

“You’re right, I was out of line. I’m sorry, Pipe.
I just don’t understand why you would do this, knowing how much pain I’m in.
How hurt I am.”

I see her body relax now that she knows I’ve calmed
down.

“I need to explain something to you, you will
always come first to me. I love you, but Ryan needed me last night and I wasn’t
going to turn him down. Some bad shit went down, Tessa, and you need to hear
about it.”

I look towards Ryan and for the first time I notice
his appearance, he has a black eye that looks a few days old, a bruised cheek,
scrapes on his neck and arms. I see the bags under his eyes and I’m instantly
concerned for him.

“What happened to you?” I whisper.

“I’m okay, just a little beat up. This happened a
few nights ago. I wasn’t able to come see Piper until last night, because I had
shitloads of paperwork and files to go through.”

I’m so confused by his statement; I don’t know what
to ask him first.

“Okay…”

“I don’t know where to start, Tessa. I wasn’t able
to talk about any of this with anyone until now. It’s hard to start telling
people something you were forced to keep secret for so long.”

I don’t know why I’m so patient, but something
inside me instinctively knows I want to hear what he has to say.

“Let’s move to the living room, this may be a
while,” Piper says and we move to get more comfortable. The three of us sit on
the couch, Ryan sits on one end, I’m in the middle, and Piper’s on the other
end holding my hand.

“I guess I should start at the beginning. You met
us over the summer as students transferring in for our senior year. You were
probably wondering what everyone else was, why are they transferring as
seniors?”

I was wondering that. I remember letting it go
because Jaxon’s brother lived here, but the whole thing seemed off to me.

“We got lucky. When we found out our assignment,
Jaxon told me he had a brother in the same town, he owned a restaurant. It was
the perfect cover, we could use Ryder as Jaxon’s excuse for transferring
schools.”

Why would they need an excuse?

“We were supposed to blend in, find the right
people to party with. We weren’t supposed to get attached to anyone. When Jaxon
saw you at Ryder’s and told his brother to have you be our waitress, I knew
something was up. He swore up and down that he only wanted to talk to you because
he had a feeling you partied. He told me he thought you could bring us our hit.

“I should have trusted my instincts, I knew he had
feelings for you and I ignored it. In the end, that’s what ultimately got him
hurt.”

Him hurt… huh?

“That first night at the party, he wanted to play
the drinking game with you to have you admit you were a partier, what drugs you
did, and who you bought from. When you told us how you felt about drugs, it
should have been over. We should have moved on and never spoke to you again.
You didn’t matter in the big picture.

“But Jaxon wouldn’t let you go. After a while, I
knew I couldn’t get him to leave you alone. Let’s not even talk about you two
moving in together. I reamed him out for days, but he wouldn’t listen. He was
in love and I could do nothing to change his mind.”

I stop him here; I’m still not sure where he is
going with all of this. I’m more confused now than I ever was before.

“What are you trying to tell me, Ryan?”

I watch him look at Piper for help, or maybe
guidance, but he eventually turns to me, this is between him and me.

“Jaxon and I are undercover cops, Tessa. We work
for the Chicago Police Department, but the FBI and DEA pulled us away on a
temporary assignment for them. This was our assignment. We had to get close to
James Michaels. You know him as Jimmy Rocks. He had to trust us, so we could
find out who he worked for. This drug ring runs large and it may shock you that
a little town like this has the attention of the FBI and DEA, but it shouldn’t.
The drugs James has sold has led to twenty-one deaths just this year. I don’t
know what they’re lacing them with, but people are dying and we needed to shut
it down.”

“Oh my God,” I mumble to myself. I look up at Ryan,
“That’s why I saw you buying from Jimmy. That’s why I’d seen Jaxon at parties
with him several times, or at the drive-in, and why you guys got phone calls at
weird hours in the night. It all makes sense now.”

Piper squeezes my hand and I turn to face her, “Did
you know?”

She shakes her, “No. I found out last night and was
going to tell you when you woke up.”

“Jaxon wanted to tell you, Tessa, but he couldn’t.
We couldn’t tell anyone because it would risk our cover. When you broke up with
him, it destroyed him. He couldn’t sleep or eat; I didn’t know what to do. He
wasn’t focused on the job anymore and when you’re not focused, that’s when
things get sloppy.”

I see the distraught look in his eyes and I’m
afraid to ask the next question. I haven’t heard from Jaxon in days and Ryan
was beaten badly.

“Ryan," I say tentatively. “Where’s Jaxon?”

I see his eyes go dreary.

“He’s in Chicago. I’m sorry, Tessa, but he’s in the
Intensive Care Unit at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. It doesn’t look good.”

Chapter Fifteen

Trust

I’ve been at Northwestern Memorial Hospital for a
week. A week of beeping machines, a rotating door of nurses, and a doctor whose
favorite word is soon. He should wake up soon. We’ll know more soon. We’ll do
more tests soon. If I hear the word soon one more time, I can’t be held
responsible for what happens next.

Jaxon suffered a gunshot wound to the chest and
shoulder during the drug bust with Ryan. The DEA decided to go in and make some
arrests. Everyone was prepared, but Jaxon. Ryan said his head wasn’t in it. He
was going on very little sleep and all he could focus on was me. He didn’t even
see the shooter before he went down.

The good thing that came out of this is some really
bad guys are now off the streets. Jimmy was arrested along with a few people in
his down line. Unfortunately, their larger target is still on the streets,
seeing to misguided college students. That’s the part of the story I learned
later. This drug ring was only targeting college students.

After Ryan explained to me how Jaxon went down, he
drove me up to Chicago to see him. We stayed to hear the prognosis. Jaxon lost
a lot of blood, so they had to put him in a medically induced coma so his body
could heal. They finally took him off the drug so that he could slowly wake up,
but thirty-six hours later, Jaxon’s still in a coma.

I missed a few days of school, but I don’t care.
It’s Thanksgiving break now so I have Piper to keep me company. Ryan visits
during the day, too, but he goes home to his Chicago apartment at night to get
some sleep, and Piper goes with him. I haven’t left the hospital.

I feel so guilty. I should have listened to him. I
should have believed him when he told me it wasn’t what I thought and to let
him explain. I was so angry and I could only see it as black or white. I was
ignoring the gray. Mostly, I feel guilty because I was the reason he was
distracted that night, off his game. He might not have gotten shot if he was in
a better mindset.

I’m sitting next to his bed. I haven’t left him for
hours. The only time I get up is to go to the washroom. The nurses hated me at
first, but I think they’ve grown to like me now. I’m friendly and I do whatever
they ask me to, never arguing.

I reach my hand out to brush the hair out of his
face. He looks so peaceful. The circles under his eyes are gone, and his usual
five o’clock shadow is starting to form a full-blown beard. Even in a coma he’s
so handsome.

“Please, wake up, baby. I need you here. I need to
tell you what an idiot I’ve been, how I don’t deserve you. I need you to wake
up so I can grovel at your feet and beg for your forgiveness. You have to wake
up, Jaxon.”

Nothing.

It’s not like in the movies where the person hears
the sound of your voice and they awake. This shit is real.

“Can I come in?” I hear Piper say as she gently
taps on the door. I don’t move my eyes from Jaxon.

“Come on in.”

She walks over with Ryan following behind her.
She’s freshly showered and in new clothing, carrying a duffle bag.

“I brought you a change of clothes. I know you
don’t want to leave, but we already talked to the nurse and she said you could
take a quick shower here. You can use the shower in this room.”

 I nod in acknowledgment, but make no effort
to get up. I’m just staring at Jaxon’s lifeless body.

“C’mon, Tessa,” Ryan says from beside Piper. “Take
a quick shower. We don’t want Jaxon to have to smell your stinky ass when he
wakes up. It might blow your chances at having him forgive you.”

I have no desire to get up and shower, but I don’t
feel like protesting. It might be nice to wash days worth of grime off my body.
I get up from the chair besides Jaxon’s bed and kiss him briefly on the
forehead.

“I’ll be right back," I whisper, turning
around to walk into the bathroom.

I close the door behind me and strip, turning the
shower on and waiting for the water to warm up. I step in and let the hard
water assault my body. It feels better than I expected, so I stay in for longer
than I originally planned, washing my body with the products Piper provided for
me in the duffle bag.

When I’m finished, dried off and changed, I step
back into Jaxon’s room and I’m shocked at what I see. A nurse is standing over
him taking his vitals and he’s awake.

Jaxon’s awake.

I watch him as the nurse finishes checking on him.
He looks tired, groggy, and in pain, but he’s alive and awake. This is all that
matters.

His eyes move around the room until he spots me. He
doesn’t move, doesn’t say a thing, but he doesn’t move his eyes away from me. I
stare back at him; grateful I can see his beautiful eyes again.

“How are you feeling,” I say hesitantly. Ryan and
Piper turn to face me when they hear the sound of my voice.

“I’ve been better.” He sounds distant and his voice
is almost cold.

I hear a screech from the legs of the chairs as
Piper and Ryan stand up.

“We’ll give you two a few minutes.” Ryan looks
sympathetic and takes Piper’s hand before leaving Jaxon and me alone.

I walk over to the vacant chair at the side of
Jaxon’s hospital bed and sit down. His eyes follow every move I make, but he
still doesn’t say anything.

“What did the nurse say?"

“My vitals look good, I guess that means I’ll
live.”

“Are you in a lot of pain?”

I watch him shift a little, almost as if he’s
testing his body before he answers me.

“A little, the nurse said she’d be back with
medicine to put in my IV, so I’ll be fine soon.”

He’s no longer looking at me and I don’t know what
to conclude from this. I thought he’d be happy I was here.

“Jaxon?”

He turns to face me, but stays silent.

“Jaxon, I’m so sorry. I should have listen to you,
heard you out. I thought the worst of you and didn’t give you a chance to
explain. I’m so sorry.”

I wait for him to comfort me. I wait for him to
tell me it’ll be okay, he understands, he loves me. I get none of that, just a
cold stare from the man I love. When he finally does answer, I almost wish he
didn’t say anything at all.

“It’s fine, Tessa. You did what you had to do…
maybe we’re just better off this way-”

“No!” I shout, cutting him off. “We’re not, Jaxon.
We’re not better off this way. I missed you… so much. It was hard for me to
function because I love you more than anything, and I thought you betrayed me.
I know better now and I promise to make it up to you, I promise to make it
better. Just don’t think that way, we aren’t better off.”

I see a flash of the Jaxon I know take over his
face before it turns back to the cold Jaxon I’ve recently been acquainted with.

“We’re done, Tessa. You decided this, you made this
decision, and it took me getting shot to realize it. This relationship will
never work. You can’t make a life with someone you don’t trust. Trust is the
most crucial ingredient in a successful relationship and the past few weeks
have shown me we’re missing that ingredient. You didn’t trust me enough to hear
me out, to believe that I wouldn’t hurt you like that.”

“I know, I was foolish and selfish, I’ve just been
hurt so many times and you’re the first relationship I’ve ever had, and… I love
you, Jaxon. I love you with everything I have, with all my heart and I do trust
you, I do. You have to believe me.”

I’m frantic now. Tears start to fall down my face.
I grasp Jaxon's hand in mine and start kissing it, over and over again. I want
to show him how much I love him.

“Jaxon, I trust you, I love you. I promise to never
hurt you again, please, believe me… I trust you.”

I look up at him with tear filled eyes. His eyes
have softened towards me and I want to smile in relief.

My Jaxon is back.

His hand moves up to caress the side of my head as
he looks at me, pain now taking over his expression.

“I believe you trust me, Tessa, but I don’t trust
you.”

His words crush me and I can feel them in the
depths of my soul. He lowers his hand from my face and looks away from me.

“I think you should go now.”

I can’t control the sob that comes from my throat.
It’s really over. I need to make him understand. I need to make him see it from
my point of view.

“Jaxon, I-” but it’s too late. The nurse walks back
into the room with a syringe of medicine in her hand.

“Mr. Wyatt, here is your pain medicine. I’m going
to put it directly into the IV so you should be feeling better in a few
minutes.”

I watch as the kind nurse injects the fluid from
the syringe into Jaxon's IV. I’m waiting for her to leave so I can speak to him
some more. When the nurse moves to the doorway I think I’m going to get my
chance, but Jaxon changes that.

“Can you escort my friend, Tessa, out so she
doesn’t get lost? I want to be left alone.”

He doesn’t even look at me as he says this. His
eyes are on the nurse and never shifting. My tears won’t stop flowing as I feel
the woman gently place her hand on the small of my back as she escorts me out
of his hospital room.

My mind is in a daze, filled with fog and
uncertainty. I’m not completely sure what happened in there, but I know it’s
over. He made that much clear.

I don’t remember leaving the hospital or getting in
a taxi to go home. I don’t remember much from that evening except for my heart
being broken and ripped in two.

When I walk into the house, I’m struck with
memories. Nothing has changed since the last time I was here. The house is
quite, but my parent’s cars are in the driveway, so I know they’re home.

I drop my bag at the back door and make my way
through the home before entering my bedroom. It’s pitch black, but I don’t need
lights. My room hasn’t changed since I was thirteen. I move to the bed and throw
myself onto it face first. The dust on the bed spread filling my nostrils. I
curl my body into a fetal position before I sob uncontrollably into my pillow.
The tears don’t stop until I fall fast asleep.