My Zombie Hamster (15 page)

We introduced Aren and Calvin to Charlie 2.0 today. It went better than I’d expected. I mean, when Calvin finally stopped screaming and trying to climb through the wall, they realized it was still “our” Charlie, and they accepted her pretty quickly.

It was still a bit weird, though. Until Aren whipped out a magnifying glass and tried to study her skin. Charlie quickly punched him in the arm, and this put our group dynamic back to where it was meant to be. Even if Calvin does occasionally look at Charlie and whimper.

We had decided that Saturday was going to be the day we searched through the storm drains for
Anti-Snuffles’s hideout. It might seem like a small problem when compared to what happened to Charlie, but the fact of the matter was that Anti-Snuffles was still out there, and we had to deal with him before he turned every single pet in town.

Today was going to be the day we ended the deadbeat pet army problem.

That’s right. Today. Or possibly tomorrow. It all depended on if we actually found the storm drain. And if the pets were using it to hide out. And if we actually worked up the courage to go into the drains. And if we managed to catch Anti-Snuffles.

But soon.

We had to sneak Charlie out, because there was no way Mom and Dad would let her leave the house. But I think if they knew what we were doing they’d understand. Charlie’s part of the gang. We couldn’t do it without her.

We bundled Charlie into a hoodie, then we got our bikes and headed out to search for the mouth of the storm drain. I had a huge net strapped to my bike, and Aren had borrowed his mom’s cat carrier. We were serious. We were going to end this.

We started at Mrs. Wilson’s house, then followed the drain downhill. It took a while to explain this
concept to Calvin. That even though we couldn’t
see
the drain, it had to flow downward. So as long as we weren’t climbing we were on the right track. I don’t think he got it, but he nodded and smiled as if he did. I’d seen that look on his face in class, so I decided not to pursue the matter.

It took us about an hour, but we finally found the spot where the storm drain emptied out. It was a huge marshy area with a river running through it. Metal bars covered the hole in the wall where the river exited Edenvale and headed out into the fields beyond the town.

The wall was a bit rough here. Bricks were visible through the paint, and some bricks had actually fallen out. I noticed that Charlie was staring up at the wall.

“What are you looking at?” I asked.

“Huh?” She blinked and turned to focus on me. “Nothing.” She smiled halfheartedly. “Actually, that’s not true. I was just thinking that if I ever need to escape this place, if I’m in trouble, this would be the perfect place to do it. Up and over the wall in five minutes flat.”

“It won’t come to that,” I said.

We moved through the boggy marsh to inspect
the pipe. A stream of icy water flowed out of the pipe, soaking our feet. The sound echoed back and forth inside the drain, making it impossible to hear anything else. The drain was about five feet high, so we could all fit inside. The question was, did we want to?

I flicked on my flashlight and aimed it inside. The huge pipe—more like a tunnel, really—receded into the dark.

“Well?” said Charlie. “Are we doing this or what?”

I nodded reluctantly. Everyone got their flashlights out, and I threw the net over my shoulder while Aren grabbed the cat carrier.

We entered the pipe, making our way deeper and deeper into the drain system. I was straining to hear any kind of hint that the pets were here. A squeak, a moan, anything. But the rushing water masked everything.

After a while the pipe opened into a huge square room. Water spewed from pipes high up on the walls. Metal walkways dripping with slime surrounded us.

It was actually a pretty cool location. Very moody and atmospheric.

Perfect for a horror movie.

Especially when the metal walkways were suddenly bristling with undead pets.

They appeared as if from nowhere, staring down at us, our flashlights glinting in their gray eyes. We tightened into a circle, our backs against one another, and stared at the zombie animals.

Aren looked at his cat carrier. “We’re going to need a bigger cage.”

Nobody moved. Not the deadbeats, and certainly not us.

“If we move very slowly,” I whispered, “maybe they won’t notice.”

As a group we took a small shuffling step backward. The zombie animals noticed all right. They all did that “I’m so alert” thing that pets do, some of them straightening onto hind legs, others tilting their heads.

We froze. That was when I happened to look down. My flashlight was shining into the water, and I could see deadbeat fish swimming around our feet.

I swallowed nervously. Then the animals on the platform directly above and ahead of us shifted aside and Anti-Snuffles moved forward. I swear,
every time we come into contact he’s like a James Bond villain. I felt like shouting up at him, “Do you expect me to talk?” and he would probably reply, “No, Mr. Hunter, I expect you to
die
!”

Anti-Snuffles jumped down into the water. He was still staring directly at us as he bobbed to the surface, not once breaking eye contact. A second later he started drifting smoothly backward toward a stone ledge. I pointed my flashlight down and saw fish pushing him along.

When he reached the lip of the culvert he turned and tried to pull himself out of the water. Unfortunately, he was a bit too small and struggled to get out. He kept bobbing up and trying to grab the ledge, scrabbling on the stone, then dropping back into the water again.

Charlie let out a grunt of pity and quickly moved forward, putting her hand under his bottom and giving him a boost. We stared at her in amazement as she returned to join us.

“What?” she said. Then she seemed to realize what she’d just done. “Oh. Right. I probably should have grabbed him there? I just felt sorry for him.”

I couldn’t believe it! Charlie had had Anti-Snuffles
in the palm of her hand, and she let him get away.

I wondered if we could just grab him again, but when I turned my attention back, he was flanked by two of those hideously naked cats. You know, the ones with no hair? I still reckoned I could take him, but then out of the shadows two eyes suddenly glinted and a really big Rottweiler stepped forward, growling.

In fact, all the deadbeat animals were coming down off the platform, splashing into the water. Just … bobbing there. Watching us.

Waiting.

The Rottweiler took another step toward us. Charlie held up her finger and said, “No!” very loudly. The deadbeat dog paused, confused. It tilted its head and whined a bit, then looked to Anti-Snuffles as if for advice.

“Okay,” I said. “I know that we’re all wondering what the best move here is, but I’m going to suggest a course of action that involves running—”

I didn’t get a chance to finish, because as soon as the word “running” had left my mouth, the others turned and bolted. Even Charlie.

I joined them, running faster than I had ever run in my entire life. The others were ahead of me,
skidding and splashing through the slimy tunnels. I could hear the sounds of pursuit from behind: galloping, skittering, flapping. Every sound an animal could make as it hunted its prey was coming closer and closer.

My heart was hammering. My breath was rasping in my throat. I promised myself that after this I really would take part in some fitness program. Then I saw a circle of white up ahead. Daylight! I found an extra burst of speed and caught up with the others, all of us exploding out of the tunnel into glorious open air. We grabbed our bikes and dragged them up the hill, then climbed on and pedaled as if our lives depended on it. (Which they did.)

After we made it back to my place we collapsed on the floor in the den, wheezing, gasping, sweating. (Except for Charlie. She flopped down into the couch and looked a bit smug.)

Dad looked up from where he was writing on his iPad. “Having fun?” Then he frowned. “Hey. Your mom told me to make sure Charlie stayed inside.”

“We … we won’t tell if you don’t,” I wheezed.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 26

The inevitable has happened. Word has leaked that Charlie is a deadbeat and is loose in the town. The Zombie Squad is searching for her everywhere. (Led by Kilgore Dallas.) The mayor has even put out a notice saying Charlie was responsible for the missing pets.

What, does he think that she ate them or something? And never mind the fact that the pets started to go missing way before Charlie was turned.

Anyway, all animals are to be kept inside while Dallas deals with the situation. And word is he’s been ordered to solve it before Saturday, when
the yearly carnival and pet show is held outside city hall. Why in February, I hear you ask? My dad says it’s because the town has mayoral elections shortly after and the mayor wants to make sure he gets his trophy for Pugsley in case he’s not elected again. And you just know the mayor is not going to cancel that.

MONDAY, JANUARY 27

School was pretty depressing today. I kept getting these sympathetic looks because everyone knows Charlie and I were best friends.

The way I see it, Charlie actually has a pretty good deal. Sitting at home playing computer games all day and night. (She has no need to sleep, so she’s already levels ahead of my character in Runespell.) Just think how cool that would be! An extra ten hours a day to do what you want. Watch movies, read comics, play games. I mean, except for the whole walking corpse thing, I don’t think it would be that bad.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 28

Things are getting a bit risky. They’ve started house-to-house searches to find Charlie before the weekend. Mom and Dad both told Charlie not to worry, that she can hide here as long as she needs to, but I can see Charlie isn’t happy. She thinks she’s putting us at risk. I suppose she is, but so what? What are friends for, if not to protect you from the Zombie Squad?

Katie has been going through the house searching for a good hiding place. (She’s sort of adopted Charlie as her own.) I gave her a hand, even discovering there was space between the walls. We thought this would be perfect until Aren pointed
out the Zombie Squad is using sniffer dogs. I mean, I can’t smell anything on Charlie (yet), but you know what dogs are like. They’d find her in a few seconds.

No one really knows what to do. I suggested taking Charlie to Dallas and the mayor and showing them both that she wasn’t like the other deadbeats, that she was the first in a new breed. That when people died they didn’t have to turn into brain-eating monsters. Charlie was up for it, but her mom and my parents said no.

They don’t have a lot of faith in our mayor.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 29