My Zombie Hamster (19 page)

The dog came on, snarling and groaning. But I wasn’t watching it. I was watching Anti-Snuffles, because his eyes were locked on me.

I swallowed nervously as the dog came within a few feet.

And then Charlie raised a hand and pointed. “NO!” she shouted. “Naughty dog!
Naughty!
”

The dog paused and cocked its head to the side.

“You’re a bad doggy! Yes.
Bad!
”

The dog looked around uncertainly. Then it sort of whined. Charlie waited a second, then moved slowly forward with her hand held out. The deadbeat dog sniffed her hand, and Charlie gently stroked its head.

“There, there,” she said softly. “You’re not a bad dog, are you? You’re a good dog.”

The dog whined hopefully.

Anti-Snuffles was not happy. He was leaping up and down, chittering noisily in the dog’s ear. Eventually, the Rottweiler had had enough, and he shook himself violently. Anti-Snuffles flew up from his perch and sailed through the air, cartwheeling against the blue sky.

I ran. I grabbed an empty sack from Dallas and held it open beneath my hamster. He landed right
in it. I snapped the sack shut and breathed a sigh of relief. I had him. I had Anti-Snuffles.

The mayor’s golf cart skidded to a halt in front of us. “Circle of Life” stopped suddenly and was replaced by his nasal voice, speaking into the hand mike connected to the loudspeaker.

“Arrest that deadbeat! Arrest her!”

The Zombie Squad made a move toward Charlie, but the Rottweiler turned and growled at them. They stopped moving.

Charlie straightened up and moved toward the golf cart.

“What … what are you doing? Don’t come any closer! Stay away. That’s an order!”

Charlie kept going. The mayor finally dropped the mike and fell out of the cart, scrambling backward across the ground. Charlie climbed into the golf cart.

“You guys coming?” she asked.

“You got a plan?”

“I think so.”

So we climbed in, Aren and I in front and Calvin in the back with the terrified aide still holding Pugsley. Charlie put her foot on the pedal, and the
cart lurched forward. She picked up the mike and started speaking into it.

“Come on!” she said in a jolly voice. “Come on now. Follow me. There’s a good doggy. There’s a good pussycat. Come on now. Come on.”

As we left the park, Dallas jumped into the back of the cart. It was seriously overloaded now, but it still managed to move forward. Just.

Charlie kept calling the animals through the loudspeaker. And you know what? It was working. I’m not sure if they were responding to her voice or if it was because she was a deadbeat, but the zombie pets were following us.

We were like a horror version of the Pied Piper of Hamelin as the golf cart chugged slowly through the streets of Edenvale, Charlie’s voice echoing through the loudspeakers, calling, cajoling, drawing all the deadbeat pets after us.

I looked over my shoulder. They formed a long line behind the golf cart, a trail of zombie animals. And behind them were the townsfolk, following after to see how this was going to end. People were coming out of their houses to see what the noise was all about. I saw Mom and Dad as we passed
the house. I waved at them. Dad waved back. Mom just looked at us in astonishment.

But they joined the crowd that followed.

I finally saw where Charlie was taking us. The gates in the wall. They loomed above us as we approached.

She turned to Dallas.

“You better open them.”

He nodded, hopping from the golf cart and sprinting ahead.

“You guys better get off now.”

“What are you doing?” I asked. Rather stupidly, really. It was pretty obvious what she was doing, but I wanted to hear it from her.

“I’ll lead them outside.”

“And then?”

“And then … and then I don’t know,” she admitted. She glanced behind us. It looked like the whole town had gathered.

“You’re coming back,” I said.

“Am I?”

“Yes. Charlie, you are
not
going to ride off into the woods. I’m not getting off this cart until you promise to come back.”

“Matt—”

“No. Charlie, I’m serious.”

“Me, too,” said Aren.

“And me!” said Calvin, raising his hand. He still had the jar attached.

Charlie looked at each of us in turn, then finally threw her hands up in exasperation. “Okay, fine! I promise!”

The gates started to open. I gave her the sack holding Anti-Snuffles, and we hopped off the cart. I felt a twinge of guilt at this. Poor guy. Yes, he was an evil zombie hamster, but he was still my pet. I felt a bit sad to see him go.

Charlie drove on, calling all the pets to follow her. After a few minutes, the last of the deadbeats had crossed over the town boundary.

Charlie kept going till she hit the line of trees in the distance. Then she stopped and got off the cart. I couldn’t really see what she was doing, so I ran up the steps to the top of the wall for a better view.

She was petting and stroking the animals. It looked like she was just
talking
to them.

Finally, she straightened up, climbed back into the golf cart, and drove back toward town.

The zombie pets didn’t try to follow.

She was about halfway back to us when the mayor arrived, gasping and sweating.

“Shut the gate!” he bellowed. “Quick! Before she gets back in.”

Dallas was standing before the gate controls, but the mayor tried to push him out of the way and close the gates. Dallas shoved him back.

“You need to step away, sir,” said Dallas.

The mayor looked at him in amazement. “You—you can’t do that!” he sputtered. “You can’t push
me
. I’m the mayor!” He tried to get past Kilgore again, but this time a few people from the crowd stepped forward to stand in his way.

It was Mom, Dad, and Charlie’s mom.

“Move!” screamed the mayor.

“That girl saved our town,” said Mom.

“She’s not a girl! She’s a deadbeat.”

“No, she’s not,” said Dallas. “Leastaways, not the old kind. She’s something new.”

“I don’t care! This is my town, and I will not be ignored!” He tried to push Mom out of the way, but as soon as he laid a hand on Mom, Dad stepped forward, pulled his fist back, and punched the mayor right in the face!

I couldn’t believe it!
Dad!

Of course, the effect
was
ruined a bit when Dad started jumping around, howling in pain and shaking his hand. The mayor, for his part, toppled over and lay unconscious in the street. Pugsley wandered over to the mayor, sniffed him a bit, then cocked his leg and peed on him.

Charlie arrived. She stopped the golf cart outside and looked around shyly, wondering what to expect. Dallas gestured for her to come in, and she broke into a huge smile and gunned the cart through the gates. She got out and stepped over the mayor’s prone figure.

Then the crowd broke into cheering. The sound was deafening, a rising tide of goodwill.

I ran down the stairs, and Aren, Calvin, and I raised Charlie onto our shoulders and led her back through the town.

We’d done it. We’d saved Charlie
and
gotten rid of the deadbeat pets.

Achievement unlocked: heroes of the town.

9:00 p.m
. And that was our day. I’m now writing this on my bed, watching the news of the great zombie pet trek out of Edenvale. Quite a few people had been filming it, as it turned out. Charlie,
Aren, Calvin, and Katie are playing Runespell, shouting and laughing. Mom used butter to get the mayor’s jar off Calvin’s hand, and we were all enjoying his candy. It was pretty good.

I threw some candy into my mouth and glanced again at the news. It was the bit where Charlie was coming back to the town after leaving the pets out in the woods.

I was about to turn away and join in Runespell when something made me pause.

I frowned, leaning closer to the television. There was something behind the golf cart, something moving rapidly through the grass as the cart made its way back to the town gates.

I stopped chewing. I couldn’t be sure, but it looked …

 … it looked vaguely hamster-shaped.

I had a sudden flash of the movie
The Terminator
, about the nonstop killing machine from the future.

And sure, while I admired the cyborg’s tenacity and dedication, I was a
little
bit worried how much Anti-Snuffles took after him.

That he, too, might be back.