On Thin Ice 1 (6 page)

Now, for the first time
since I was in school, I felt it again. This time it was aimed at a
boy though. God, Daniel and I had literally just agreed a couple of
minutes ago to try and work out as friends, and here I was wanting
to throttle the only real friend I had in this place before Daniel
arrived just because she was flirting with him. What was wrong with
me? I forced the jealousy out of my head. I was being stupid. This
was how Fiona acted with everyone. This was her thing, to flirt
with guys, and I knew she meant absolutely nothing by it. She was
happily married. I was being silly, but the fact that jealousy
crept into me at all worried me.

“Are you listening
Kylie? I was just telling Daniel that it’s not fair that you keep
them all to yourself, when there are so many other wonderful women
in this place would love to be blessed with the pleasure of his
company.”

Hearing my name I was
broken out of the thoughts running through my head.

“Oh what? Sorry, I
think I drifted away for a minute there. Besides Fiona, I’m not
hogging Daniel at all. For one thing, he’s a big boy now and he can
hang out with whoever he wants, for another this is the first time
I’ve seen him in like three days, except for sports this
morning.”

“If you say so darling,
just as long as you leave some of him here for the rest of us.”

“For God sakes Fiona,
leave the poor man alone. He’s not some animal in a zoo, he is here
for exactly the same reason as the rest of us.”

“Yes, well, just
because he’s like all of us doesn’t mean we can’t have a little bit
of fun, right?”

“You’re impossible
Fiona.” I shook my head and laughed at her. She was so typically
what somebody thinks of when they think of the rich wife from the
suburbs. If it wasn’t for the fact that she kept her hair its
natural brown color, she would’ve fit every single stereotype of
the rich man’s wife with a drinking problem who flirts with younger
men.

We kept her entertained
for a while before finally she finished her meal and left Daniel
and I in peace when she saw Sam come in.

“She’s found another
victim, we’ve got the place to ourselves again,” I told Daniel, who
laughed. “Don’t worry about Fiona, she’s completely harmless. She
just likes to flirt with anything with a pulse in this place.”

“Yeah, I figured that
out a couple of days ago when I was in here and saw her flirting
with basically every guy. She is strange, but seems harmless
enough.”

“Definitely. She’s
probably my only other friend in here apart from you, and if I’m
honest I wouldn’t be surprised if she leaves sometime pretty soon.
She’s looking a lot better, and sounding a lot better as well.”

“That’s really good for
her. The last few days have been getting harder for me as well, I
think I’m finally entering the hardest part of the whole detox
process.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. The other day
when I was in the gym I broke out in sweat, like I was really
clammy and I actually thought I had a fever for a while so I went
back to my room. Then my hands started shaking, and I went to see
Doctor Emma and she told me that it was completely normal. We spoke
for a while, about symptoms, whether it was safe for me to train
with heavy weights while experiencing the symptoms, that sort of
thing. She was good, it was good to talk to her about that sort of
stuff.”

“That’s good, I’m glad
you’re able to talk to her about things. And don’t worry,
eventually the symptoms will pass. It will be tough, it’s really
tough, but you will get better.”

“Good to know, thanks.
Hey, when you say you think Fiona’s gonna get out of here soon, was
she here before you or did she arrive after?”

“She arrived after me,
about two months ago. I’ve been here for three months, but I always
knew that Fiona would get out before me.”

“Why is that? You seem
like a strong woman, much stronger than any that I’ve ever
known.”

I shook my head sadly.
“I wish that were true. No, the reality is I’m going to be in here
for a long time. That’s probably why it’s also good idea to just be
friends, there is no hope of me ever getting out of here.”

“But why not? Yeah
you’re an alcoholic, but so are thousands of other people. They
managed to live life on the outside, avoiding drinking.”

“I don’t deserve to get
better,” I replied, and I think the finality my voice told Daniel
that this wasn’t a topic he wanted to continue.

“That’s fine, Kylie.
You don’t need to tell me anything you don’t want to. But hey, if
you ever want to talk about anything, I’m here. After all, we’re
friends now, remember?”

“Thanks, Daniel. I
appreciate the offer, I’m not really used to talking about this
sort of thing.”

“Hey, I get it. I don’t
talk about a lot of stuff either, so don’t worry about that. Let’s
talk about something else, something happy.”

“Sure, I’d like that.
Do you want to go play Scrabble in the games room with me?”

“Of course the
potential Doctor would choose Scrabble as the game to play against
the athlete,” Daniel teased. “I’m going to show you that not all of
us fit the dumb punchy stereotype of hockey players,” he continued,
getting up from his chair with a grin.

Ten minutes later we
were sitting across from each other on comfortable couches, the
Scrabble board in between us. I was staring at my tiles, trying to
decide whether I should open with ‘apple’ or ‘patella’. I decided
to go with the latter, in honor of my guest. Daniel grinned when he
saw the word.

“Trying to throw me off
my game with a reference to the knee, are you doctor?” he teased,
and I stuck my tongue out at him.

“I didn’t think you
would know what a patella was,” I retorted, as he played
‘trails’.

The game quickly picked
up in pace, with Daniel matching my every word with something at
least as valuable. I had to admit, I was impressed. I could tell he
wasn’t dumb or anything like that, he definitely didn’t fit the
stereotype of the average athlete that doesn’t know how to spell
his own name, but I hadn’t expected him to be quite this good at
Scrabble.

As for my body’s
reaction to Daniel, nothing had changed since we decided to just be
friends. Every time he smiled at me, every time those big deep eyes
glistened in my direction, I felt my legs going weak, my heart
pounding faster and like my insides were melting away in a pool of
desire. Nothing in the room except for Daniel mattered. I couldn’t
have cared less who was sitting at any of the other seats, whether
there was music playing over the speakers, absolutely couldn’t have
cared less. The only thing that mattered to me when I was with
Daniel was Daniel. Something inside of me wanted to make him happy.
I wanted to make him like me, I wanted to make him want to spend
more time with me.

At one point as I
reached to adjust a tile while he played one our hands brushed, and
we both stopped. I felt that spark of electricity between us, I
felt the absolute passion that coursed in between our bodies, and I
knew Daniel felt it too. We looked at each other, then pulled away,
almost as though the two of us were embarrassed about it. We
continued playing like nothing had happened, but I could feel it.
That spark never went away.

“God, it’s getting
late,” I eventually noted after yawning three times in a row. I
glanced at the clock, and for the first time in a long, long time I
wished the hands on the round plate would show it was earlier than
I thought it was. I was so used to wanting the time to pass,
wanting it to stand still was a whole new feeling.

“Does that mean you’re
giving up?” Daniel asked as he played ‘terrestrial’, using all
seven of his tiles.

“Damn it!” I exclaimed
as I saw that on top of making an eleven letter word he had landed
on a double word score tile. “No, I’m not giving up! Plus I’m
pretty sure I’m winning, anyway” I said, glancing at the scores on
the sheet.

“Probably, but admit
it, I’m better at this than you thought I would be.”

I laughed. “Yeah, you
are. It’s not fair that someone can both look like you
and
be good at scrabble.”

“You’re one to talk.
Brains and beauty, the perfect combo.”

I blushed, then my eyes
rose to the security camera in the corner. I was only too aware of
its presence, and I could feel Daniel’s body sinking back into the
chair.

“Stupid rules,
right?”

“Yeah.”

“I think you’re right.
It’s getting late, we should probably count up the scores and go to
bed.”

After counting and
discovering that I had indeed won, but only by a margin of 50
points, we packed up the game and headed back to the corridor that
led to the residence areas. Daniel held the door open for me and I
passed through. We walked down the hallway in silence.

When we reached the
door for the women’s residences, we stopped.

“Thanks for tonight,”
Daniel told me. “I mean, I know it’s not exactly what either of us
want, but it’s something, isn’t it?”

I felt a pang inside of
me, like my heart had been ripped out. I wanted nothing more than
to grab him, run with Daniel to my room, have him rip off my
clothes and take me on my bed. But I knew none of that was
possible. For one thing, security guards patrolled the residences
to make sure members of the opposite sex didn’t enter.

“Yeah, it’s something,”
I replied, trying to smile.

“Well... good night,”
Daniel said.

“Good night,” I
replied, turning and going into the hallway. I didn’t look
back.

As soon as I was in my
room I began to cry. I lay down on top of the covers of my bed and
cried my heart out. I wanted Daniel so badly, and yet I knew I
could never have him. I enjoyed spending time with him as a friend,
but it was still so different. I didn’t want to be just friends. I
wanted more than that. Yet I knew I couldn’t have it.

I hated feeling like
this. I hated the conflicts between the life I had chosen for
myself and the life I was living. I hated being happy, I hated the
fact that I no longer felt guilt crushing me during every second of
every day. And yet, I was happy. I liked Daniel. He was kind and he
understood me.

I reminded myself that
no matter what, it would end. Daniel would eventually leave, just
as I knew Fiona was getting ready to leave. There was no way Daniel
would stay here forever, the way I had planned on doing. He would
go back to his life, maybe work as a sports reporter for a news
station, or start coaching, or something. Either way, I wasn’t
going to be in his life long term.

And the fact that I
thought that far ahead about us absolutely terrified me.

To Be Continued

About the Author

Hi! I’m Victoria
Villeneuve. I’m a small town girl at heart, with dreams of living
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