Playing the Playboy's Sweetheart (11 page)

‘And you didn’t think to tell me?’

‘Of course I thought about telling you,’ Emily snapped, and then she was quiet as Lydia came and gave her IV pain control.

Hugh watched as her pupils went to pinpoints and he put on some nasal prongs as Emily, thanks to some decent pain control, lost her control and told him exactly what she’d been thinking!

‘On Friday evening I decided on an abortion; on Friday night I thought I might ring you. On Saturday I had this strange vision of us pushing a baby on a swing, but I had this vision of joint access, and then I decided to just tell you at the wedding, then I decided to move to Scotland and have it and never tell you...’

‘Okay, Em,’ Hugh said, ‘I’m not cross with you for not telling me. I get you were working it out.’

‘Are you cross with me, though?’ Emily asked, with her own eyes crossed as she tried to focus on him. God, he looked fantastic, he looked amazing. ‘Do you think I tried to trap you?’

‘Grow up,’ Hugh said, but not unkindly. ‘Actually, I’m the one who needs to grow up. It does take two.’

‘Yeah.’

She wasn’t worried about that now. His eyes were the nicest shade of green in the world.

‘I’ll probably lose it now anyway,’ Emily said.

‘Probably not,’ came Anton’s voice, and then Emily knew she really must be pregnant because for once Anton wasn’t scowling. In fact, he gave her a nice smile.

‘I was just speaking with Alex about your surgery. I’ll come and see you afterwards. Do you have any questions?’

‘No.’

Hugh did, and he went outside and spoke to Anton for a couple of moments before coming back to Emily.

‘We’re going to get her ready now,’ Lydia said, and Hugh stepped back as they checked her ID and allergies and all the million things they had to before she went under anaesthetic.

And it was then, in that moment, that he got the glimmer he had done the right thing about Gina.

Even if he was wrong, he just couldn’t turn a blind eye any more.

And he’d just have to wear it if he was loathed for reporting her.

He could not live with himself if anything happened to a patient.

He looked at Emily and knew it should have been Gina on this morning.

Yes, it sucked big time, but he’d done the right thing.

‘Can I have two minutes?’ Hugh asked, as Raymond and Lydia arrived to take her up, and he didn’t wait for an answer, just shooed everyone out.

‘Emily.’ He snapped her out of her stupor. ‘We’ll sort this out.’

‘Yeah.’

‘I mean it, you’re not to worry.’

‘I’m not worried...’ She put a hand up to his lovely, lovely face and stared into his gorgeous green eyes. ‘Give me a kiss for luck.’

‘You lush...’ Hugh said.

‘Please.’

‘No,’ Hugh said, ‘because then you’ll accuse me later of taking advantage.’ But he kissed his fingers and pressed them to her mouth. ‘You’ll be fine.’

She would be, Hugh told himself as the hordes then descended.

For Emily it all passed in a bit of a blur. She stared up at the ceiling of a very familiar room. It looked different from this angle.

‘We meet again.’ Rory smiled. ‘I’m fantastic, remember, so you have nothing to worry about.’

‘I never said you were fantastic. I tell the patients you’re amazing,’ Emily said, and then Miriam’s face came into focus.

‘I’m resigning,’ Emily said, as her boss smiled down at her. ‘I was going to resign anyway because I hate Accident and Emergency but there’s no way I’m going back there now.’

‘We’ll talk soon.’ Miriam continued to smile as a very drugged Emily started to tell her exactly what she thought of internal rotation.

‘You’ll feel better soon, Emily,’ Miriam said, and Emily fought to get across her point.

‘You don’t...’

Emily didn’t finish; she was out for the count.

‘Not a happy camper,’ Rory said to Miriam.

‘It would seem that way.’

* * *

A perk of the job was that he was there when she came round in recovery.

‘Dad!’ Emily was very surprised to see him. She didn’t have a clue where she was.

‘Mum’s on her way,’ came a voice, and she could see Alex talking to Hugh.

That’s right, she’d had an operation.

Oh, God, she was pregnant.

Maybe.

‘We’ve made sure you get your own room.’ Louise drifted into focus as Emily was wheeled down to the ward. ‘Give you some privacy.’

There was no such thing as privacy when you worked here, though.

Her mum flew straight down from Scotland and though she was touched that they’d both come it was a terrible strain having both Mum and Dad in the same room, and a huge relief when at eight that night they left.

‘Not now,’ Emily said a little while later, when Hugh walked in.

‘I know,’ Hugh said. ‘I’m heading home. I just wanted to see that you were okay.’

‘Well, I am.’

‘Emily—’

‘I don’t want to talk about it.’

‘Fair enough,’ Hugh said. ‘Here’s your phone.’

Hugh walked out and past the cool stares of the ward staff and then to the on-call room, where he’d decided to stay for the night. He knew she’d be okay, he just wanted to be sure.

In a way it was a relief that she didn’t want to speak just yet because, though worried, Hugh was still prickling from her accusations the other night.

Then his phone went off and Hugh took a breath before answering it.

Oh, he needed that breath as a stream of expletives met his ear.

‘It was you, wasn’t it?’

‘Gina.’ Hugh tried to interrupt and was told again what a louse he was, how he’d damaged her career, that she’d trusted him.

‘Do you know what, Gina?’ Hugh said. ‘You call me when you want to talk properly, but right now I’m in no mood for your lies. Sort yourself out, or not, it’s entirely up to you. Just do it well away from patients.’

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

‘I
HEAR
YOU
’
RE
still vomiting?’

Hugh stood at the door on day three post-op.

‘They’re keeping me in again tonight.’ Emily nodded. She wanted to go home and away from all the eyes and just curl up in a ball and heal, but every couple of hours she started retching and they weren’t sure if it was the anaesthetic or morning sickness. So the drip stayed in and apart from a shuffle to the loo and shower she was pretty much still in bed.

‘You’ve lost weight,’ Hugh said.

‘I was going to say the same thing about you.’ He looked haggard and a bit thinner and very, very troubled, even if he was trying to sound upbeat.

‘I know it’s a shock...’

‘Emily...’ Hugh tried to keep his patience. ‘I’ve got a lot on my mind at the moment, but can you please get it into your head that I am not cross about the baby, I am not running screaming for the hills...’

‘You’re not upset?’

‘God...’ He let out an exasperated sigh. ‘I’m pleased.’ She blinked when he said it. ‘I’m actually pleased that you’re pregnant because now, like it or not, we have to talk.’

‘So what are you looking so worried about?’

‘You,’ Hugh said. ‘Surgery at six weeks gestation...’

But she knew there was more. ‘Hugh?’

‘Stuff,’ Hugh said. ‘I’ve just got a lot going on. You don’t need to hear it.’

‘Is Alex angry?’

‘Yeah, there’s that too.’ He turned from the window. ‘I’m not exactly his favourite person at the moment.’ He came and sat by her bed. ‘Your HCG is still rising,’ he said, and watched her face to see if the fact her HCG level was still rising, indicating the pregnancy was progressing, might bring a smile to her eyes, but she just stared back at him.

‘I asked Alex if I could have an ultrasound,’ Emily said. ‘It’s booked in for nine tomorrow. Maybe when I see for myself...’ Emily closed her eyes. It was all numbers at the moment and she could barely remember the brief ultrasound that had been done in Emergency.

‘Do you want to come?’ she offered.

Hugh nodded. ‘When will you be well enough for that row?’

‘Are we going to have a row?’

‘I assume so,’ Hugh said. ‘You weren’t exactly holding back on Saturday night.’

‘Well, it would seem you didn’t either,’ Emily said. ‘I heard you left her room on Sunday morning.’

‘I didn’t sleep with her.’

‘La-la-la-la-la,’ Emily said.

‘Grow up,’ Hugh said, only this time not quite so kindly. ‘I’m crazy about you, Emily, and I have been for a very long time, and if you think I slept with Gina after our row, then there’s really not much point.’ He stood. ‘I’m going to go or I’ll say something I regret and then I really will be the bastard everyone thinks I am.’

‘Hugh—’

‘Nope.’ He shook his head. ‘I can’t do this now. I want you to rest and to get better. I’ll be here at nine.’ Then he changed his mind and revealed a little of what was on his mind. ‘Do you know why I respect Alex so much?’ he asked. Emily just looked at him. ‘Do you remember when Jennifer went into labour and he must have been as worried as hell but he did not miss a beat, he just kept on operating? He knew that Jennifer would be okay without him there. She might not like it, but that was part of their deal...she trusted him. And you don’t trust me.’

He looked down at her.

‘I am going through some stuff right now that I cannot share with you, especially given the extremely tenuous nature of our relationship, but I will tell you this much. I will do my best to be here tomorrow and at any future appointments, and I take full responsibility for this baby and, whether you like it or not, I will be in this baby’s life.’

‘From York!’ Emily called to his departing back.

‘I’ve already pulled the application.’ Hugh turned around. ‘Get used to me, Emily, because I won’t be keeping in touch with my child via Facebook. Don’t ever compare me to
him
.’

Emily lay there after he had gone.

And lay there.

‘No vomiting,’ the night nurse said. ‘That’s good.’

Was it, though?

What if the morning sickness had faded because she wasn’t pregnant any more?

It was the first time her brain was quiet.

She just stared at the ceiling through a very long night and looked back on the years she had known Hugh.

And then looked ahead to the years possibly with him.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

H
UGH
SLEPT
FOR
about two and half hours and was up at five and at work by seven.

It was the day of his interview but no way was he going to sit through a formality just to be told he was way too immature for such a senior role.

Immature?

He felt about a hundred years old this morning.

There was an email from the head of anaesthetics, asking him to meet at ten, and Hugh wondered if Gina would be present.

Oh, God, he hoped not.

First, though, there was the ultrasound and he was most nervous about that, because for all the HCG was rising, it was a fragile time and again Hugh wondered if he had come down too hard on Emily last night.

Maybe he could put up with it?

Given all she went through with her family, maybe some jealousy and suspicion were to be expected.

‘Morning.’ Alex was less than effusive in his greeting. ‘I want to go up to ICU and check on Mr Hill before we start rounds.’

‘Sure,’ Hugh said. ‘Is it okay if I slip off at nine? Emily’s having—’

‘I know,’ Alex clipped. ‘Fine.’

‘And at ten I have to meet Mr Eccleston...’

‘Mr Eccleston.’ Alex frowned, and Hugh debated whether or not to tell him but, no, not just yet. He decided to see how things were panning out before sharing the burden with Alex.

Mr Hill was extremely unstable when they arrived and they were actually considering taking him back to Theatre when Alex glanced at the clock.

‘Go,’ he said. ‘I’ve got this.’

‘Thanks.’

Okay, Hugh thought, making his way down to the surgical unit. Daddy face on? Happy face on? Worried face on?

He stopped at the vending machine at the entrance to the ward and was just buying a bottle of water when he heard his name.

‘Hugh?’

Hugh swung around and saw Gina. He was momentarily sideswiped, wondering if she was going to beg him to withdraw his accusations, or plead with him that she was getting help, or just scream at him again. Then he watched her crumple.

‘Help me...’ She was in his arms and he actually thought in that moment that if he let her go he might never see her again. In fact, he didn’t think, he knew. ‘I need help, Hugh, now, now, now...’

He pulled her into the patients’ lounge and asked an elderly man to please excuse them.

‘Help me, don’t leave me...’ Gina begged.

‘I’m not going to leave you.’

‘I’m scared.’

‘I know.’

‘I’m scared what I’m going to do...’

‘I’m not leaving you,’ Hugh said, and he looked out of the glass window at the frowning man, who thankfully took his cue and walked away. ‘We’re going to get you some help.’

He unscrewed the cap of the bottle of water and gave it to Gina then fired off a very quick text. But then saw the water spilling over her face.

‘Have you taken anything?’

‘No.’

He checked her pulse and her pupils and, no, it would seem she hadn’t.

‘Help me.’

‘I’ve told you already that I will,’ Hugh said. ‘Talk to me,’ he said, and finally Gina did.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

J
UST
AFTER
NINE
her phone bleeped, indicating a text had come in, and Emily saw that it was from Hugh.

Held up, sorry, I will get there ASAP, let me know.

Hugh wouldn’t choose to miss this, Emily knew. He must be stuck with something pretty serious if he couldn’t get away for the ultrasound.

She smiled in surprise when Anton came in because she’d been expecting the radiographer, but he gave her a very nice smile back and wished her good morning.

‘You’re much nicer to your patients than you are to your colleagues,’ Emily observed.

‘Of course I am.’

She lay back and tried not to let on just how petrified she was.

Emily wanted this baby.

Accident or not, mistake or carelessness, the possibility she might have already lost it before she truly loved it was terrifying.

‘You’ve had lots to drink?’

‘Lots,’ Emily said.

‘So you have,’ Anton said as he lifted her gown, because her bladder was full to bursting, which helped get a better image.

Some jelly was squeezed on her abdomen and then came the interminable wait. The screen was visible but Emily just closed her eyes but then she opened them and looked and saw a little flicker on the screen.

‘Is that its heartbeat...?’

‘It is, and it is all looking good,’ Anton said. ‘Six weeks...’ He peeled off a tissue and handed it to Emily as she started to cry.

‘Sorry,’ Emily said. ‘I didn’t realise how scared I was.’

‘It is fine to cry.’ Anton smiled. ‘I’m so pleased it’s good news.’

‘I didn’t even know if I wanted to be pregnant.’

‘Well, you know now,’ Anton said, and Emily nodded because she did want this baby very much. ‘It is normal,’ Anton continued, ‘especially when the pregnancy is unexpected, to take a while to get used to the idea. How are things with Hugh?’

She was terribly grateful that Anton didn’t pretend he hadn’t heard all the horrible gossip and she answered him honestly. ‘It’s a big shock to him too, I guess, but he seems okay about the baby, though
we’re
not so okay right now.’ She looked at Anton, knew there was nothing he could really say.

Except she didn’t know Anton.

Yes, he had heard all the rumours—in fact, he’d just walked past the patients’ lounge and had seen Hugh and Gina sitting holding hands in deep conversation.

Anton, more than anyone, knew what was going on.

‘I’m going to tell you something.’ He actually took Emily’s hand. ‘I am not friendly with staff, for my own reasons. I loathe gossip and I avoid it as if it were poison.’

‘I don’t care about gossip,’ Emily said.

‘Good.’ He gave her hand a squeeze. ‘Keep your own counsel.’

‘I shall.’

‘Then you shan’t go wrong.’ He gave her a smile that had Emily wanting to reach for her phone and text Louise to climb right up that stethoscope, but she restrained herself and decided to put it down to hormones as Anton spoke on. ‘Right, from this side of things I can discharge you. Your nausea has gone, the ultrasound is fine. But because of your surgery you shall see me for your antenatal care from now on. Normally it is two weeks off work after an appendectomy but I would like you to take three, perhaps more, and then I want you to come and see me before you go back to work. Have some quality time off and relax.’

‘Sounds good.’

Anton left and she was just about to text Hugh
or
go to the loo when the domestic breezed in.

‘It’s fine,’ Emily said, putting on her dressing gown, deciding she’d use the loo on the ward instead of the one in her room.

And then she’d text Hugh.

Nature was seriously calling.

So much so that when she walked past the patients’ lounge she barely halted as she saw Hugh. She just stood there for a second as she found out the reason Hugh couldn’t be at the ultrasound.

He was deep in conversation with Gina.

And very possibly it wasn’t work they were discussing because he was holding her hands.

He glanced up and she could have confirmed the row they’d had on Saturday by sticking up her fingers or huffing off.

She could have ended it then but she kept her own counsel and instead let him into her heart with a small brief smile and then went to the loo.

Back in her room she sent a text.

All looks good, nice heartbeat. Em

She got back three smiley faces and a row of kisses.

And then she got morning tea.

And then lunch.

Then a brief visit from Alex, who examined her abdomen and saw her temperature was on the edge of normal and said he would like her to stay for one more night and that she could go home in the morning if all her observations were within normal ranges.

And there was still no word from Hugh, though it didn’t bother her. The less she was told the more important Emily knew it was.

* * *

‘Em...’ She opened her eyes to the sight of Hugh. He wasn’t smiling, just looked haggard. ‘I’m so sorry I couldn’t get there... I’m so pleased the ultrasound went well.’

‘Is Gina okay?’ Emily asked.

‘No.’ Hugh shook his head. ‘She’s very ill indeed.’

Emily watched the haze of tears rise higher in his eyes and heard him quickly try to grab them back with a sniff.

It didn’t work.

‘She’s in a very dark place,’ Hugh admitted, ‘but she’s finally admitted that there’s a problem and she’s in the right place to get the help she needs.’

‘How long has she been ill?’

‘It’s been on and off,’ Hugh said. ‘You remember the first night we got off with each other? I didn’t want you to get into the car with Gina.’

‘Did you think she’d been drinking?’

‘No, I thought she might be on something, or that she’d been drinking. I’d reported her to her boss the previous day. I just couldn’t let you get into the car with her and I couldn’t properly tell you why. As it turned out, I was wrong. I even had Gina crying on me a week or so later about some bastard who had made terrible accusations. I’ve just told her today that that bastard was me.’

‘Oh, Hugh.’

‘It’s been a very long day. If I could have been here I would have but Gina broke down and told me some things that have been going on and how depressed she was and that she needs help...’ He looked at Emily. ‘You don’t leave a seriously depressed anaesthetist alone—can you understand that?’

‘I can.’

‘I’ve been worried for weeks. I didn’t know whether to speak to Alex, given I’d reported her once and nothing had come of it. I went to Mr Eccleston and, as it turns out, I wasn’t the only one. Anton’s voiced his concerns rather loudly.’

‘Anton!’

Hugh nodded. ‘Nothing’s happened at work, I believe Gina when she says that, but out of work...’ Hugh closed his eyes. ‘The lines were starting to blur. Apparently she turned up in the car park the worse for wear on Monday and Anton just took her car keys from her and drove her home and then went and reported her.’

No wonder Anton had been in a filthy mood on Monday, Emily thought.

‘How’s Gina now?’

‘She’s been admitted, though not here,’ Hugh replied, ‘but she’s getting the help she needs now. Nothing has ever happened between Gina and I,’ Hugh said. ‘The world thinks we have an on-off thing, but I’m a very good judge of people and I had her pegged from the first week we started as med students. I love Gina, but not in that way. I care for her and, as I told her today, I will always be her friend, but she has to help herself.’

‘God...’ Emily lay back on the pillow. He had been so honest. Ought she be? He stopped speaking and looked up as Alex and Jennifer came in.

‘Jennifer.’ Hugh stood up and smiled at Emily’s visitors. ‘Alex, nice of you to come by.’

‘Ooh, lovely,’ Emily said, taking a huge bunch of flowers.

‘I just brought Alex in some afternoon tea and he told me some of what’s been happening. How are things?’ Jennifer said.

‘Very well.’ Emily smiled.

‘Could I have a word, please, Hugh?’ Alex asked.

Hugh was stony-faced as they headed out into the corridor. ‘I’ve heard about Gina.’ Alex’s expression was equally grim. ‘You didn’t think to discuss it with me?’

‘I did think of it,’ Hugh said, ‘but at the end of the day these are serious accusations and I decided to make the call. I was hoping it would all be a bit more discreet and maybe it would have been if Gina hadn’t had her meltdown here.’

‘I apologise for jumping to conclusions,’ Alex said.

‘You weren’t the only one...’

It was that Emily had jumped to them that hurt most.

Emily glanced out of the window to where Hugh and Alex were talking, and loathed the mess she’d made of things.

‘He got the job.’ Jennifer broke into her thoughts.

‘Really?’

‘It must have been a hard time for him, deciding whether to report her or not. I’ve known Gina for years. She’s the loveliest woman, I don’t know where it all went wrong.’

‘I guess she’s working it out.’

It was an afternoon for visitors and Emily smiled when Miriam came in. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Sore but much better,’ Emily said, and then she frowned and then she started cringing as vague, hazy memories fought to return. ‘Oh, my...did I...?’

‘You did,’ Miriam said. ‘I’m sorry you’re so unhappy. I certainly don’t want you working somewhere while you’re pregnant where you feel miserable. Maybe we can look at you doing a stint in A and E when you come back from maternity leave, or...’

‘Miriam.’ It was Emily who knew what she wanted now. ‘I want to go back to A and E. If I put it off now, it will never happen and I really do want to get on. Also, it’s actually not that bad.’

‘You’re sure?’

Emily nodded. ‘It’s certainly better for the patients and...’ She thought for a moment. ‘In many ways I do enjoy it. I never expected to.’

‘Well, you’ve got a couple of weeks off to think about it.’

More than a couple of weeks. This pregnancy was suddenly vital to Emily and after a rocky start she wanted to give it every chance.

‘Anton said to take some time off, so I was wondering if I could tag some annual leave onto sick leave.’

‘Of course,’ Miriam said. ‘Take what you need. Then you’ve got another eight weeks in Emergency and then...’ Miriam gave her a lovely smile ‘...we’ll talk about that Clinical Nurse Specialist position that’s coming up.’

* * *

When Alex and Jennifer had gone, she thought she might get a smile from Hugh and that he would share the news that he’d got the job but instead he wanted to speak about them.

‘Emily, maybe I came on too hard. You know I have a thing about women who question my every move, but I can get that maybe you’re going to have trust issues. A bit rich, though, given you got off with me when you were seeing Gregory.’

She looked at him and her instincts had been right, they had been that very night they’d first kissed. She simply hadn’t followed them.

So she followed them now.

‘There was no Greg. I made him up.’

‘Sorry?’

‘To keep you away.’ She took a deep breath and said it. ‘I don’t have trust issues,’ Emily said. ‘I manufactured that row on Saturday.’

‘You manufactured it?’

‘I knew there had to be a reason you were outside, speaking to Gina. I knew you wouldn’t do that to me.’

‘Why the hell would you make up a row?’

‘Because I wanted space away from you to think. I don’t want to fall in love so hard it hurts. I don’t want to be crazy about someone...’

‘You don’t want to feel?’ Hugh just smiled. ‘Oh, dear, Emily, like it or not, you’re going to. You can lock yourself away with boring boyfriends and unconscious patients but about eight months from now you’re going to have your heart held hostage for ever by this little one.’

‘I know,’ Emily said, ‘it already is.’

‘You do have trust issues...’

‘I don’t.’

‘Yes, you do, because you don’t trust me not to try and make it work, but I shall.’ He thought about his boss who had taught him so much and the effort he was putting into his own marriage. ‘At the first sign of trouble your parents just walk away. Well, that’s them and this is me—I’m a very hard worker, Emily, and not just in my career...’

* * *

A couple of hours later, her obs done, his pager handed in for the day, it was just the two of them, lying on the bed, watching the news on TV.

‘Do you think we’ll be like that?’ Hugh suddenly asked.

‘Like what?’

‘Alex and Jennifer. Will you be popping in for some afternoon delight?’

‘She was bringing him something to eat.’

‘Please,’ Hugh scoffed. ‘It really affected me that night. I think I’m damaged.’ Emily smiled to herself as she turned to Hugh because he still hadn’t told her that he’d got the job.

‘What did Alex want?’

‘A very quick formal interview and then he told me I’ve got the job.’

‘Hugh, that’s fantastic. I’m so pleased.’

‘I haven’t accepted it yet,’ Hugh said. ‘I said I needed to speak to you first.’

‘Speak to me?’

‘I don’t know if you’d prefer a fresh start,’ Hugh said. ‘We do have a bit of history scattered around the hospital.’

‘Er, I have one bit of history,’ Emily said, referring to Marcus.

‘Exactly,’ Hugh said. ‘And I get it if you want to make a go of things well away from my past.’

‘There’s no need,’ Emily said.

‘You’re sure?’

‘Absolutely.’ She turned to him. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t know how you put up with me...’

‘I have asked myself that a few times,’ Hugh admitted.

‘But you did?’

‘Yep, I told you—I work at things.’

‘But—’

‘I love you,’ Hugh said, as if it was the least complicated emotion in the world, and maybe sometimes it was because it was right here in the room. ‘Whenever you’re ready, Emily,’ he nudged.

‘Iloveyoutoo.’ She said it very quickly, more as one word, but Hugh just smiled.

‘Progress!’

Emily reached for her phone. ‘I’d better call Dad and let him know I’ll definitely be home tomorrow. He and my new stepmum are going to come over and then Mum will come down...’

‘You really don’t get this partnership lark, do you?’ Hugh said. ‘Ring your father and tell him there’s no need to worry. I’ve got five days’ carer’s leave.’