Playing the Playboy's Sweetheart (9 page)

CHAPTER TEN

A
H
,
DENIAL
—
SUCH
a fleeting friend.

It stayed by Emily’s side for the week and encouraged her to buy tampons every time she went shopping till she had quite a stockpile, a sort of build it and it will come, in her bathroom.

It didn’t come, though.

And her new friend, Denial, also had a yen for salty peanut butter eaten straight from the jar, which was probably, Denial said, the reason Emily felt sick.

Of course she didn’t have to worry, it was the worry that was causing her period to be so late. And don’t be ridiculous, Denial said as she climbed on a ladder and stacked shelves on the Friday before the wedding in the Lake District, of course she didn’t have to tell Hugh.

There was nothing to tell him anyway.

So why was she hiding in a large cupboard because Hugh had unexpectedly arrived in the department to speak to Alex?

Why was she staring at the pregnancy testing kits and wondering if she should just swipe one and put herself out of her misery?

‘Em.’ She jumped at the sound of her name, or rather the sound of Hugh saying her name. ‘Are you avoiding me?’

‘Why would I be avoiding you?’ Emily said. ‘We’re in
lurve
, remember?’ She carried on tidying the shelf. ‘I thought you had your conference?’

‘It finished at lunchtime—I just came by to discuss something with Alex, but he’s talking to some relatives.’

‘Oh.’

‘How was your week?’ Hugh asked.

Emily gave a tight smile and wondered how he’d react if she told him it had been mainly spent on period watch. ‘It was good,’ she answered instead. ‘I have a new
friend
called Donna.’

‘What did she want?’

‘To apologise for what she said on Saturday night.’

‘What did you say?’ Hugh asked, genuinely impressed that she hadn’t told her to get lost but he could feel her volatile mood as she moved pack after pack when there was surely no need. ‘Can you get down from that ladder before you answer?’

Emily did so, just to show she was capable of standing without jumping into his arms, but she wanted to so badly. It had been five days since she’d seen him after all. ‘I thanked her for her apology and I said that I understood she might be cautious about letting me into the twins’ lives but that this particular apple did fall far from the tree and that I’m not going to forget about them.’

‘Any response?’

‘A lukewarm one but I’ll keep chipping away,’ Emily said, and went back up her ladder.

Hugh wouldn’t.

There would be no more chipping away. She drove him insane, an obsessive insanity that was going to come to a head tomorrow.

Yes, tomorrow.

He had it all worked out because the contrary Emily was going to be told just how he felt, but not now, not here.

‘You’re sure you don’t want to drive up tonight?’

‘I’m sure.’

‘Well, be ready at five,’ Hugh said, because Emily had refused to make a weekend of it so they were leaving at the crack of dawn. ‘I’ll pick you up...’

‘Actually, I want to drive, my car needs a good run,’ Emily said.

‘Sure,’ Hugh said, and then thought of the bomb she drove. ‘Have you got roadside assistance? I don’t want to be stuck on the edge of a motorway with you in this mood.’

Hugh watched as she actually laughed.

He’d known she would.

She got him.

Yet she didn’t want him?

‘Don’t be late,’ Hugh said, and headed off and left her alone with Denial.

‘Go, have a drink, have fun,’ Denial said. ‘Let Hugh drive.’

But if she was pregnant...

She wanted the excuse of a long drive the next day so she didn’t have any champagne because it wouldn’t be good for the baby.

If there was a baby.

Emily slipped a pregnancy test card in her pocket.

You don’t need it, Denial warned, you’ll be caught, Security might be watching you now on the cameras and then the whole hospital might find out that you’re
pregnant
.

* * *

Finally it was just Emily.

Sitting on the loo as Accident and Emergency carried on doing its thing while she did hers.

She couldn’t wait a single second longer and, really, she already knew the answer.

Whose stupid idea had it been to invent a pregnancy indicator with a smiley face if it came back positive?

Emily certainly wasn’t smiling.

She wrapped the indicator in a hand towel to hide it and then threw it in a big yellow bin and headed back out there.

‘Hey, Emily...’ Hugh was checking an X-ray with Alex and
Daddy
was in patient mode. ‘Alex is taking him straight up to Theatre. Could you start getting him ready?’

‘I’m just going off duty now, but I’ll pass it on.’

‘Thanks.’

‘Hey, Hugh...’ She wasn’t going to tell him here, but as two thousand conflicting thoughts circled in her head she did consider that perhaps he should come over tonight but then she immediately changed her mind.

Emily didn’t know how she felt herself yet, let alone share the news with Hugh, so she went to the bottom of her list and shared the very last thing that was on her mind. ‘Make sure you set your alarm.’

CHAPTER ELEVEN

‘W
E
’
RE
NOT
GOING
to get there,’ Emily said, glancing at the dashboard. She had picked Hugh up bang on five but roadworks and traffic lights had conspired against them.

Emily hadn’t slept much.

Instead, she had lain in bed tossing and turning and trying to somehow get her head around the fact that she was pregnant. Then she had looked at the clock and seen that it was after one in the morning and had lain worried that she’d oversleep.

In the end she had given up even trying to sleep and had just lain there, worried about the future.

Terrified, in fact.

A baby was so far off her agenda that it wasn’t even pencilled in at some future stage to consider.

Emily didn’t want to be in love with anyone, or anything, didn’t want the potential for hurt, and, oh, my, a baby was a huge potential for just that.

Of course she had fallen asleep in the end but it felt as if it was ten seconds later that her alarm had gone off, and when she’d arrived at Hugh’s he’d come straight out looking so dazzling and ready to go that he might just as well have been on a health farm for a week.

Hugh had taken one look at her and declared that he’d drive, and she’d happily handed over her keys and had dozed most of the way.

Now, though, it was after twelve and the wedding was at one and they needed to get petrol, oh, and tights for her.

‘We’re not going to have time to check into the hotel,’ Hugh said, ‘so let’s stop at the next service station and get ready and we’ll just park at the church.’

It sounded like a plan.

He pulled in and they both got out. ‘I’ll get petrol and park over there.’ Hugh pointed. ‘Don’t take your time!’

Emily grabbed her dress, shoes and toiletry bag and made a dash for the ladies.

Her long brown hair she pinned up and then attempted to add some colour to her pale face. Then there was a quick change into her dress.

It was lilac and summery and had fitted perfectly when she had bought it in a sale a couple of weeks ago, but her breasts seemed to have grown an inch on both sides and Emily stared down at the canyon of cleavage.

Oh, well.

She dashed out to the car but then remembered that she needed to buy tights. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Hugh by the car but she pretended she hadn’t and raced into the shop.

There wasn’t much of a selection and she could just imagine Hugh tapping his fingers.

He was.

‘I just need to...’ Emily pointed back to the ladies as she came out of the shop, but Hugh shook his head and gestured for her to come on.

Bloody men, Emily thought, because five minutes was all it took for them to look gorgeous. He was in a dark grey suit and his tie was actually lilac.

‘We match!’ Hugh said, referring to her dress and his tie, and when she climbed into the passenger seat and put on her belt he glanced at her cleavage. ‘Somewhere to put your phone?’

‘Ha-ha,’ Emily said, as he gunned the car in the hope of getting them to the church on time.

‘If we’d driven up last night, as I suggested,’ Hugh said, ‘this could all have been avoided.’

‘Careful,’ Emily said, wrestling her legs into tights, ‘we’re starting to sound like a real couple.’

Hugh gave a half-laugh and then turned and gave her a brief wide-eyed look as she pulled up her tights over her bottom.

‘Can I make a suggestion,’ Hugh said, ‘from someone who knows little about women’s fashion? I don’t think orange stockings go with what you’re wearing.’

‘Can I make a suggestion?’ Emily responded. ‘Just say I look nice and leave it at that.’

Hugh turned and smiled. ‘You look nice.’

‘So do you,’ Emily said.

He did.

Oh God, he looked so, so nice and smelt so, so brilliant and she didn’t need rouge now to bring some colour to her cheeks. Instead, she fiddled with the air-conditioner and then looked out the window as they got off the motorway.

‘We’re going to make it,’ Emily said.

‘Absolutely,’ came Hugh’s response. ‘There’s no way I’d miss this wedding.’

Emily’s conscience prickled just a touch because, thanks to her refusal to drive up last night, they almost had. Weddings meant very little to Emily, she had been to many after all. Attending her father’s had been more out of duty, and it had been a very long time, if ever, that she had looked forward to a wedding in the way Hugh was.

‘We can’t park here,’ Emily said. ‘It’s double yellow lines.’

‘The bride’s already getting out of the car!’ Hugh said, deciding he’d just pay the fine for their rather illegal parking, and soon they were in the church and there was just time for a quick flurry of hellos before the ceremony commenced.

‘Talk about cutting it fine,’ Gina hissed. ‘Jennifer and Alex aren’t here either.’

‘Yes, we are,’ Alex said, making his way along the pew. ‘Sorry, sorry, running late.’

‘I thought you came up last night.’ Hugh frowned, because they seemed as flushed and as rushed as he and Emily.

‘We did,’ Jennifer said. ‘We just...’

She didn’t elaborate and Emily actually let out a little laugh as Hugh rolled his eyes skywards at her.

‘They’re like rabbits,’ Hugh said into her ear as they all turned round to smile for the bride.

It was, as weddings went, a particularly lovely one.

Rima, Hugh had explained to Emily on the drive up there, had been at medical school with him but had been diagnosed with cancer just two weeks after she and Matthew had started going out. They’d been through the sickness part already and there was much more to come. Gina teared up as the vows were read out.

So too did Jennifer.

Hugh looked over at Emily, who had that vague smile on that might just as well mean she was watching the Japanese news.

Hugh let out a breath of actual nervousness.

In half an hour or so his secret would be out and he no idea how Emily would react. He had never been able to fully read her. There she sat, under her little pyramid of indifference that only he could see, and he wanted it off, he wanted it gone.

No, he couldn’t read her, because Emily was attempting to keep her emotions in check. That was the reason for her blank look, she was doing everything she could to zone out, because never before had a wedding moved her so much.

Confused her even.

She looked at the groom and saw the undeniable love in his eyes, and Rima too, who, despite poor health, seemed to be glowing.

It wasn’t just the happy couple, though, that had the rusted cogs in Emily’s brain starting to turn. She glanced at Jennifer and Alex, who might as well be confirming their vows, they simply couldn’t keep their eyes from each other. Four children on and their love was so real, and she thought too of Ernest and Hannah.

* * *

Yes, Hugh was nervous because he cussed when he saw the parking ticket and was unusually tense as they checked in.

There was half an hour or so to kill before the wedding breakfast and possibly a friendship to kill too.

He hoped not.

Hugh really hoped not.

‘Do you want to go to the bar?’ Gina asked, but Jennifer and Alex declined.

‘Jennifer’s got a bit of a headache,’ Alex explained.

‘We haven’t taken our bags up yet,’ Hugh said, and then wavered.

He did not want Gina at the bar but he wasn’t there to police her and, anyway, Hugh had something rather more important on his mind.

They shared the lift up with Alex and Jennifer and made polite small talk, though the lift was fit to burst with sexual tension, and it didn’t come from the younger two!

‘I’m going to dump these bags and dash out,’ Emily said, ‘and try and find some stockings that aren’t orange!’

‘It is so nice to have a weekend without the children,’ Jennifer said. ‘Nice to be able to have a lie-down.’

When Hugh and Emily stepped out and the lift doors were safely closed, Emily let out a laugh.

‘I think Jennifer’s use of a headache is different from every other woman’s.’

‘Do you feign headaches, Em?’

‘God, yes,’ Emily said, as Hugh opened the door to their hotel room. ‘Marcus actually asked me the other week if my migraines had settled down.’ She gave Hugh a smirk. ‘I don’t even get them!’

Yes, Hugh almost punched the air, as his theory was surely proved right.

The more boring the better for Emily.

‘Oh!’ Emily stared at the champagne and flowers.

‘Aren’t I romantic?’ Hugh said.

‘Did you order this?’

‘I ordered the one-night escape package.’ Hugh took out the receipt from checking in. ‘Whoops, I booked the one-night romantic escape package.’

‘Well, it’s wasted on us,’ Emily said. ‘Maybe we should swap with Jennifer and Alex...’

Hugh was just about to say it, to admit he hadn’t booked the room by mistake, when...and neither would ever know how it happened, but it did. The tension in the lift must have just raced down the corridor behind them and pushed its way under the closed door but she smiled that smile and so did Hugh.

‘Oh, Alex, we’ve got a whole eighteen minutes,’ Emily said, and she went for his tie.

‘Jennifer,’ Hugh said, ‘your stockings are making me go blind.’

‘Get them off me, Alex!’ Emily begged.

It was fun, it was like lovers who had been lovers for ages, just so locked in their new game, getting the other, wanting the other and forgetting about everything else.

God, for the first time since the pregnancy thought had hit, her mind was empty of anything but Hugh.

His kiss was searing, her mouth urgent. It was go straight to bed kissing and Emily had never known feelings like it, never allowed feelings like it.

For Hugh it was like the woman he knew was in there was finally out.

She was on the bed with Hugh standing tearing at her stockings as she wrestled his belt with a ‘get out of that suit and into my vagina’ feeling but then he spoiled it.

‘I booked the room deliberately.’

‘Hugh!’
Don’t
was the word her voice said.

‘I’m crazy about you Emily, and I don’t want to fake it.’

‘I don’t think you could be accused of faking it,’ Emily said, trying to make a joke as she went for his erection, but he would not let her sex her way out of it. He undressed and the rapid sex she had suddenly hoped for slipped away at the same time as her dress.

‘I only came up with that idea to give us a chance.’

He was over her, kissing her from her neck to her stomach and then down, ever down. ‘We’ve got fifteen minutes, Hugh,’ Emily warned.

‘We’ll be late,’ he mumbled into her sex, and she could, if she could just relax, really get to like that, Emily thought as his tongue explored her.

‘Hugh, please...’ She didn’t know if she wanted to pull him up by his hair or push him further into her. Whetted by him, on the edge because of him, she almost sobbed in frustration as that lovely mouth stopped.

‘Next time,’ Hugh said, because there would be a next time and she’d relax enough to enjoy it, but for now he slid in between still parted legs.

He made love to her slowly and she tried to hold in her moans, even if she didn’t have to now, but it was the way he unfurled her that had her clinging onto his shoulders and trying to deny that her body craved this.

‘We’ll take it slowly,’ Hugh said into her ear.

‘No longer an option,’ Emily said, because she was about to come and from the building thrusts in Hugh, so too was he.

‘I meant us,’ Hugh said, but he didn’t really have time to explain because her mouth was hot on his neck and her nails were digging deep into his back as Emily gave up fighting.

She
was
crazy about him, head over heels with him, every thrust drove her deeper in love and locked her there as he released into her. And all Emily knew was that she wanted this, more of this, as his weight came down on her and for a few breathless moments they lay there.

‘We’ll take it slowly,’ Hugh said. ‘I know you’ve got some trust issues...’

Emily closed her eyes. No, she didn’t have trust issues, she had head over heels in love issues.

‘We’d better go down.’

Hugh chose not to press for now. After all, they still had tonight.

* * *

Did they have to be such good speeches?

Emily sat and listened as she heard about the hard times the couple had already endured and the challenges they had faced.

And had there not been a positive pregnancy test, had they been able to take things slowly, as Hugh had suggested, maybe she could get used to the possibility of a future, a proper one, with Hugh.

Emily closed her eyes for a second, imagining the very free and very sociable Hugh, who wanted to concentrate on his career, suddenly a father.

And she, who didn’t even want a baby, suddenly a mum and, no, it wasn’t the same challenges as the happy couple that they faced but to Emily it felt unsurmountable.

As they danced she remembered his little dig in the church about not having children for another decade.

Oh, it had been a joke but he was right. Children were hard work at the best of times, and at the worst?

‘Do you want a drink?’ Hugh offered, as they made their way back to their table but Emily shook her head. She was already sick of sparkling water.

‘Have you seen Gina?’ Jennifer asked Hugh, as they sat down.

‘Maybe she’s gone to the loo,’ Hugh said.

‘She’s been gone for ages,’ Jennifer said. ‘I’ll go and check.’

‘I’ll go,’ Hugh said, and Emily frowned.

‘To the ladies?’

‘She might be outside. She was pretty teary in the service, she and Rima are close...’

Jennifer returned a few minutes later and said that Hugh was outside talking to Gina. Emily didn’t really give it much thought, she was too busy thinking about the baby inside her and the one relationship that might have worked had it not got off to the most difficult start.

She imagined herself up there at her own wedding, six months pregnant, Hugh giving a strained speech and everyone knowing they were marrying because Emily had been bloody late taking her Pill. Or perhaps it would be more a case of slamming car doors, like Donna had on an access visit.