Putting the Madge in Danna (22 page)

“
Sh,” he whispered. His
hands cupped my nipseys. Oh-la-la. I couldn’t believe this was
actually happening! It felt amazing to finally have the makings of
a sexual experience worthy of Madonna. Rob began to lick, lick, and
lick like he was feasting on me, like he’d eat my boobsies up and
I’d have to find a plastic surgeon to replace them with plastic
ones. I moaned loudly and hoped Gina wouldn’t hear me from across
the hall because I didn’t want this to stop. Blindly, I reached a
hand out to touch his celebrity face. He pushed me down onto my
back and held my thighs. I wrapped my ankles around his neck and
squeezed slightly, which fully awakened my hooey.

“
Let me see,” he said, as
if he was contemplating his first move. “How should we begin? Oh,
that’s right. I think I know. You went to see a record producer.
That’s how it started. And I recall that he ate you out. You found
yourself on the yellow brick road to orgasm. How did he do it Dani?
Like this?”

Rob held my thighs apart and quietly
proceeded to slash at my pinkie-pinkerson with his giant rough
tongue. It was exactly the way I like it, you know manly-man rough,
and like Zeus, but with a bit of a girlish fleck like a lesbian’s
touch. His chin was clean shaven against my mon-mons. It felt like
that dream I have where when I wake up, I’m super wet and find that
I’d been rubbing myself out. How did Rob learn to please a woman
this way? I began wondering how many women he had pleased – how
many did it take to be this good?

He tickled my belly button with one hand and
rested the other along my flat tummy-tum-tum as he took me past the
yellow brick road and straight to Oz.

I said, “Me-likey.”

“
Oh? You like that, do
you?” he asked. “How about this?”

He licked into my pink tunnel next, delving
his long tongue into deepest recess territory, plunging his nose
inside, as if it was a cowboy discovering new frontiers. Did he
like the whiff-whiff in there? He sure seemed to. I heard lots of
slurping. His tongue was like a vacuum cleaner, wiping my slate of
debris, and by that, I mean cleaning me out for my future husband
to claim once he moved in, you know? I reminded myself that I was
doing this for Zeus and that was one of the reasons why. Slowly he
moved toward my rosebud. I clenched in anticipation.

“
Do you want me to go in
there?” he whispered. My booty-boot had been unchartered territory
until this moment. Zeus and I had talked about it many times and
decided that anal love would be the final frontier. But now, I
thought, why not charter a course and get used to it? I needed to
be a better lover plus I was very relaxed and uninhibited. I might
have said yes to anything.

I said, “Uh-huh,” between gasps and
moans.

He pushed my legs into the air so that my
booty-boot was now propped up, kind of like a baby getting her
diaper changed. His hands cupped my ass tenderly, and he nuzzled
his snoz into my back end. “Oh, Dani,” he said, “I could do this
all night long.” The licks down there felt so
supercalifragilistically tickly that I started to laugh. He didn’t
seem to get mad or anything. He seemed fine with my reaction, which
became a bit much, even for me. I started thinking about my earlier
quip to Gina, about that wizard thing, and I ended up snorting the
way she does.

His fingers nestled into my hooey and found
their way to my clit while he licked around both holes.
“Eye-ya-yey,” I murmured. Some fingers twiddled fiddle-dee-dee, but
his thumb and forefinger on his right hand trapped my nubbin and
wiggled it the way I do when I masturbate. I moaned louder, because
I was getting it good – very good. While Rob’s mouth licked away at
my back end, his fingers danced me to heaven. I couldn’t stand it
any longer. I wanted to thank Madonna for guiding me to this
incredible moment of super-colossally great fucky-wuck. I shot my
lady load while simultaneously screaming out, “Madonna!
Madonna!”

How embarrassing, I know.
If you remembered from earlier, I was borderline drunken stupor at
this point. Normally, it takes me a half-hour to make myself cum,
twenty minutes with Zeus, but Rob was able to fuck me in ten. I
thought, how did he do it?
An
actor?
I obviously didn’t have to act like
I liked it because the proof was in the cummy pudding.

He gave me a minute or so to recuperate - he
went into the bathroom and I heard the water running in the sink. I
lay there on the bed uttering moans that sounded like the gibberish
of a person speaking in tongues. I could have joined the priesthood
with my archaic sing-song had I not been a girl. Maybe I would now
be able to understand Greek perfectly, I thought, as I felt the
undulating spasms of glorious fireworks penetrate my entire hoo-ha.
Was that even possible?

Then yipee! I heard a jangling noise and he
was back. “Do you still love your fiancé, Zeus?” he asked.

“
Of course, I do,” I said.
This isn’t about love.” Immediately I felt like that was probably
not the right thing to say. After all, he was here doing me a
favor, and I didn’t want him to leave before we made our rainbow
connection.

“
What if I were to say
that I love you?” he asked.

Then Rob flipped me over
and placed my weak-by-orgasm body on his lap like a puppet master.
I thought he was going to kiss me, our lips were so close, I could
smell the spearmint in his breath mixed with alcohol. I wondered if
he’d been drinking absinthe? It’s supposed to be the new thingy at
Hollywood bistros according to
Entertainment Tonight
. Instead of a
kiss though, he took my arms, placed them behind my back, and
slapped my wrists with handcuffs.

I said, “Hey! What are you doing?”

“
I’m going to be your Dom
too, didn’t I tell you?” he said. “Because you’ve been a very bad
girl.”

“
You hadn’t mentioned
that,” I said. I wondered if I should call for help. Unfortunately,
my hooey was in charge and it said
no
.

“
Is that okay?” he asked
with what seemed a little like concern.

I’d never been tied up before, as I’ve
mentioned. The restriction of my arms had that same fluttery tummy
feeling as everything else. I think it reignited my need. “Uh-huh,”
I said. I’m normally much more verbal than this, bloggers, but you
have to understand that I was under a wizard’s spell, cast by
Madonna mixed with the desire of an extremely deprived hoo-ha.

“
Good,” he said as he
whirled me around like a Cirque Du Soleil performer, positioning me
on the bed the way I was when he first walked in. He stood very
close. I heard him removing his belt and it jingled with his pants
onto the floor. I smelled the delicious aroma of healthy
super-pricker directly under my nose.

“
I started following your
blog about a week into it,” he said. “You are really something. I
had to meet you here to find out what you were like to a
fuckster
. Would you be
the real you or a facsimile? I mean, your lovers had been selected
to represent Madonna’s conquests. I wanted to see if you were
anything like Madonna.”

“
Did you really fuck
Madonna?” I asked.

“
No,” he smirked. “I was
just trying to get your attention.”

“
You did, but only because
Gina pointed it out,” I said. “I didn’t notice the comments at all
until….”

“
Gina knows. Hmm.” He
seemed to contemplate whether or not that fact was important, I
guess, but then he shrugged it off. It would have been weird if
Gina had broken down the door and barreled in with a slew of
paparazzi or something, but she had probably fallen asleep by now.
“Well, let’s get on with it. You tried to eat a Native American’s
cock, I believe,” he said. “Now you’re going to eat
this.”

He rubbed his pricker
against my cheeks and I could feel that it had the girth that I
like and the unmistakable quality of a bonafide hard-on. I opened
wide because I could tell that I would enjoy this feast. In it
went, slow and steady-like until it became my cock gag.
Blindfolded, imprisoned and now gagged, I moaned at the
deliciousness of it all. His girthy weiner rivaled the big kazoo
for sure. It nestled inside me like hand to glove and felt all
slippery, warm, powerful, and loving. I wished I had my hands to
work it but this felt way sexier. I was a BDSM princess bride
imprisoned by Rob’s mastery of cock-a-doodle. Lick, lick, and
licorice-lick, I licked around this monster man-part in
reciprocation to the brilliant attention he’d displayed of my
hooey. He retracted, and slapped back in so that I could reach
every nook and throbbing pulse of his manhood, hoping to offer him
a corresponding orgasm. He moaned my name and then…he
screamed
I-love-you
like a dozen times! I taunted him with my suckling prowess. I
wanted to be just like Madonna. This man was not going to give me a
bad review, obviously. I wanted to give him something he’d
definitely remember well. That last swirl of the tongue put him
over the edge. The elation I felt when he came into my mouth went
beyond satisfaction. I swallowed and thought, I am the happiest
engaged woman in the universe.

He pushed me back and the handcuffs pressed
into my back. I said, “These cuffs might leave marks on my wrists
and muck up my wedding photos,” but I really didn’t care all that
much due to my Jägermeister-Champagne haze.

“
You’re thinking about
your wedding?” he said with a chuckle. “And what about your fiancé,
Zeus. Are you thinking about him?”

I felt his fingers knocking on cunt’s door.
They twiddle-dee-deed inside - not one or two, but almost a whole
fistful.

“
Yes,” I
screamed.

“
Yes, you like this or yes
you’re thinking about your beloved?”

“
Yes, yes, yes,” I said as
though in a fucksy trance.

“
Hmm,” he said. “I believe
a woman tried to satisfy you without a cock? Is that right?” He
flicked his fingers around and I believe he had proceeded to create
shadow puppets in my hoo-ha. I began to giggle
uncontrollably.

I said, “That one felt like a bunny. Am I
right?”

“
And this?” he asked. He
wriggled it into a fuck signal.

I said, “Are you flipping me the bird?”

“
I’m fucking you,” he
said, enunciating the word like it was oh, so deliciously dirty.
And then his fingers felt like a soaring eagle.

I tried to suppress the giggles, but they
insisted on embarrassing me, the way I’d imagined they would at the
altar. It was both ticklish and tantalizingly fucklish. I thought
he was laughing too, but at that point I was laughing so hard that
I couldn’t really hear him. He kept at his little wicked game and I
was absolutely at his mercy. His hand became a handgun pulling the
trigger, and when his gun went off another shot of cum juicy-juice
spilled out of me. When he finally removed his hand, I started
hearing a slurpilishish sound. He was for sure, sucking my wetness
off his hand!

I said, “What do I taste like?”

“
Grecian goddess,” he
said.

Now he took his wet, sticky hand to my left
foot. He sat down on the bed and yanked my foot up to his mouth,
the whole thing. My manicured tootsies became the next course. Now
he held both feet in his hands and took turns giving them
attention. Oh-la-la.

“
Oh my god,” I moaned. I
wished I could use my hand to friggy-frig my clit. I wondered how
many orgasms I could have in one night, my last night of freedom.
Funny, the word freedom, because I wasn’t exactly free with a
blindfold and handcuffs on and the truth was, I didn’t want to be.
I was afraid that it would end this way without a hooey-pricker
fireworks finale, just like all the rest.

I said, “I need a cock to finish me
off.”

“
Did the basketball player
give you a cock?” he asked.

I said, “No, I didn’t even see that one. But
you can give me yours.”

And then…I got FUCKED. He flipped me over
onto my knees. Because my wrists had been locked behind me, I
leaned on my shoulders with my booty-boot high in the sky. He
entered me from behind with a whack-whack here and a whack-whack
there. This was definitely something to remember for the both of
us. The pounding my cunt took felt like a fine pummeling – what I
had wanted from the get go. One that would have made Madonna proud.
It was heavenly cock to hoo-ha bliss.

“
I love you, Dannika
Elinopoulous, soon to be Zepkos,” he said.

“
And I love this,” I said
between thrusts. There was nothing like this because it was the
best sex of my life.

“
There’s just one more
thing,” he said. “I need to give it to you Greek style, to finish
you off. Well?”

I knew what that meant. He’d saved the best
for last. I don’t know how he knew. I really don’t. He must have
Googled me when he was up late in his hotel room or something,
looking for his Madonna protégé who needed some sense knocked into
her. I was looking for something that I had all along, just like
Dorothy Gale. And it was about to take its place in my
backyard.

I said, “Indeedy do. Do it in my doo-doo
hole and act like you like it. And Toto too.”

“
I’ll show you Toto,” he
said. “I’ll doo-doo that.”

And then we both started laughing. Howling
laughter, the way sex is best. And I knew. I knew I loved him with
all of my heart, because he is the most perfect man in the
world.