Rainer: An MC Savage Motorcycle Club Romance Novel (6 page)

Lanvin put his gun down and began to dry heave. Rocket kept his gun pointed at me while looking back and fourth to the girl and me. Sid didn’t break his gaze from my eyes.

I felt a warmth brush under my arm, sliding past my elbows, up to my forearm, stopping directly underneath my hands. It was Rainer. He took the gun from my hands and placed it above Zella’s lifeless body as he looked into my eyes the entire time.

“What do we do? What do we do?” said Lanvin.

“Candace?” said Rainer. “Candace, can you hear me?” he asked while waving his hand in front of my face.

My eyes were filled with tears, unable to escape the horror that I caused. I tried to respond but my mouth stayed open with only air flowing in and out. I watched as Rainer motioned the others to put their guns away, to which they hesitated at first, but eventually put away. I was shocked even though I knew what I just did. Did I really just do that?

“Candace?” Rainer said once again. I managed to give him a nod.

The front door flew open and other people with leather vests rushed inside.

“What the fuck happened in here?” one of them said. “Who is that?” said another. Their eyes moving back and fourth from me to the girl in the chair. Their hands close to their waists like they were ready to pull their guns out at any moment.

I notice my gaze blur and the room started spinning. That’s when I realize Rainer was shaking me, trying to snap me out of the daze I’d fallen into.

Rainer clapped his hands in front of my face twice, “Candace?” he said, then whistled. “Candace, can you hear me?”

All I could do was nod. The room was silent and everyone was looking at the Zella’s dead body on the chair, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at her.

Instead, I lifted my hands to my face and noticed a bunch of tiny red dots. I could see Zella from the corner of my eyes. Suddenly, it was dark and I felt something rubbing against my face.

I flinched, only to realize it was Rainer holding a bandana. “Candace? Relax,” he said as he continued to wipe my face. I knew it was probably her blood that he was wiping but I still couldn’t believe it. “It’s me, let’s get you cleaned up.” He gently pressed the bandana against my face a few times then quickly hid it in his pocket as if he wanted to hide the small dabs of blood so that I wouldn’t see it, but I saw how red it was.

He whistled to two of the random guys at the door and motioned his gun towards the dead girl. “Prospect 1, Prospect 2: clean this shit up. Save a hand for me.”

Rainer ran his fingers through his hair as he paced back and fourth. Everyone waited in silence for his command. “Okay,” he paused. “Brother, Sid, Lanvy — Let’s go.”

No one moved. They stood silent as though they were as shocked as I was. Rainer looked around the room with an angry expression on his face, “NOW!”

Everyone began to scuffle. The people by the door opened the garage door with a loud bang and ran outside.

I heard the familiar popping noises from before as Lanvin, Rocky, and Sid all started their motorcycles.

Rainer came from behind me and placed a towel over my shoulders then he handed me a helmet. He looked me in the eyes and locked his fingers with mine, “Hop on, you’re riding with me.”

Rainer

Did she really just fucking do that?

I knew it was risk to give her that gun, but she looked harmless. I didn’t think she’d actually go through with it.

The wind raced through my hair and the setting sun blared down on us. The skies were a shade of red and yellow and there were only a few cars on the road. They all moved to the side when they saw us in their rear view mirrors as usual. There were ten people behind me, including Sid, Lanvin, and Rocket. A necessary precaution just in case
 
ambush were to happen. We always rolled in groups regardless; it’s just how things worked.

I should be happy right now. That bitch Zella is dead, but now I’ve got another problem: Candace.

I’m still adjusting to this newfound position that I was forced into after my father was killed. Uncle took over as President but he’s away on business and I got bumped up to Vice President, taking over everyone until he gets back. I wasn’t even supposed to have this rank for another few years — decades, even.

Part of me is fucking pissed because I wanted to be the one that killed her, but then again I don’t think it would have mattered. Hell, it’s even more of an insult to Wrath Motorcycle Club to know that some random girl killed the Presidents daughter with my gun instead of me. It just goes to show how much I don’t care about that bitch Zella’s life at all. But how will my uncle take all this? I can’t imagine him being happy about it, but maybe I can work something out. After all, this was partially my fault; I gave Candace the gun.

I sighed as she squeezed tighter. I could feel her head lying against my back. I wasn’t going that fast but maybe she was scared of riding in the back. I could barely breathe with the grip she had around my waist, but I didn’t mind. Honestly, it was actually kind of nice having someone back there. I couldn’t tell if it was the ground shaking or if she was shivering.

It’s weird, I don’t even know this girl and I already let her on my bike. Nobody rides my bike but me, so why did I let her sit behind me? Then again, this was my problem to deal with. Or maybe Sid was right, maybe I am getting soft.

Nah, fuck that. The situation just got messy. I’ll just have to figure out what to do with her soon.

I waved my arm in the air to signal the others to move out and head back to home base. They all followed my commands, everyone except Rocket, Lanvin, and Sid, of course. I shouldn’t be mad, they’re just watching out for me. This is what brotherhood is all about after all, but fuck, sometimes it can get annoying. They know damn well I could handle this shit on my own; I don’t need them there at all times. Plus, I needed to figure out what to do with Candace and I don’t have the patience to stand around listening to them argue over what to do with her. It’s not like she’ll kill me too, at least I don’t think she will. Not with my gun at least.

Is she okay back there?

Those fucking prospects better not get rid of Zella’s whole body or I’m going to kick their asses. Good thing we have inside connections with some of the crooked cops in this town. If we want someone to disappear, it’s as simple as making a phone call. Candace must be going nuts back there about how she killed someone; I know I would be if I were her. Poor girl.

The war was officially on now. Not that it wasn’t before; it started after that bitch set us up. But if they weren’t taking this seriously, they will be now. Especially since his daughter and son-in-law are dead. Now the Painsley family will know true pain. Not that fake stuff they call a motorcycle club with their cheap bikes parading around our territory. Zella was just first on the list; we’re going after each and every one of their members. I guess her husband counts too, but I think most of their club still believes he’s just missing, hell even Zella didn’t know until she saw his ring. They’re all a bunch of fucking idiots, that’s why. None of my brothers would allow me to go missing for that long, nor would I let that happen with any of them.

I felt Candace’s warm embrace as she hugged tighter. What am I supposed to do with her? What are the guys thinking about all this? I can’t blame them if they disagree with me, I fucked up and I fucked up big time. I wonder what she’s thinking. I can’t help but feel bad for her, she wasn’t supposed to be part of any of this, and now she has a murder on her hands. Why she would want to join us still baffles me, who the fuck wants to live a life like this. It’s too dangerous, and she seems so innocent. I guess I should give her a little credit, I don’t know too many people who’d do what she just did.

The road was clear for miles so I continued driving. This calmed me and gave me time to think. Should I just kill her and take her out of the picture? It wouldn’t be hard, it’s not like I haven’t killed before. But each person I’ve ever killed deserved it. Does Candace deserve to die? It really shouldn’t be this complicated.

But it is.

For some fucking reason, it is. Maybe I feel guilty. But then again, what would killing her do? It won’t solve anything. She doesn’t have to die, it’s not like she killed one of my men, and she actually killed the person that I wanted dead.

If anything, we should be applauding her. But fuck, I really shouldn’t have given her my gun. But she also shouldn’t have come back to the shop in the first place. How the fuck did she even find us? Maybe this was her fault. Wait, no, we kidnapped her first. She wouldn’t know about any of this if those two knuckleheads grabbed the right girl from the beginning. So was it their fault? Maybe they should deal with her? Sid wouldn’t think twice about putting a bullet in her, but would I be okay with that?

With more power comes more problems, it seems. Fucking hell, why is this so complicated? I don’t have time for this shit; why the fuck do I even care?

I took a path off road into the dirt as the other three followed. The dust filled the air behind us as they rode beside me. I let them know I was going to stop soon. I chose the most secluded area I could find, far from the highway where I couldn’t see anything but mountains on one side and the ocean’s horizon on the other.

Once we stopped, I took my sunglasses off and wiped it on my jeans before placing them in the front pocket of my leather vest. The strangest part was that Candace still held on tightly as if we were still driving, so I gently removed her hands away. No need to use force, yet. Not until I figure out what to do. Everyone gathered around after we parked our motorcycles but no one said a word.

This dilemma was harder than I’d thought. I took a few steps away from everyone to gather my thoughts.

Kill her? Let her live? Kill her? Let her live?

“Fuck!” I yelled, “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.” After a few deep breaths, I turned around and slowly walked back towards Candace without breaking eye contact.

It’s time.

***

Candace

Did I really just do that?

The air was warm and the sky looked like cotton candy. The sun was setting and the rumble from the seat below helped release the tension I felt in my body.

My head lay against Rainer’s back, placed firmly against the skull logo on his leather vest, and my arms were wrapped around his waist. His body felt warm, but not enough to heat my cold heart.

I didn’t know where we were going, but I didn’t care. As long as it was away from that garage.

I couldn’t feel much of anything. After pulling the trigger, I just felt numb. Disconnected from myself more than ever.

I couldn’t enjoy the sunset because the yellow reminded me of the spark from the gun, and the red sky reminded me of blood. My ears continued ringing to a point where I began to wonder if it’d ever go away.

My eyes were fixed on the blurred asphalt during the ride. I felt as though it was a privilege to see or feel anything else, a privilege that I didn’t have or deserve, so I stopped trying to look around.

Nothing could have prepared me for what happened. Honestly, I don’t even remember pulling the trigger, but I did. One second she was alive, then suddenly she wasn’t. Just like that. And it was because of me. It was all my fault that she was dead.

I caught a glimpse of the others following us. Sid, Rocket, and Lanvin trailed close behind, while a few others were following at a near distance.

If they were planning to kill me, I don’t think I’d try to stop them this time. I didn’t deserve to live anymore. No, not after today. Today I became something I never thought I could become. Today I became a murderer. A monster.

Little by little, the crew began to disperse in separate directions with Rainer’s order until there were only four of us left. The warmth of Rainer’s body was the only thing that really felt real.

As time passed, I felt even worse. The reality that I killed someone was hitting me hard and all I could do was hold Rainer tighter. He hasn’t said a word since we left, and I began to wonder if it was because he was upset or if people just didn’t talk on motorcycles.

I felt a deep sadness for what I did. The glimmer of hope and happiness I had earlier today has gone and I felt dead inside.

A million thoughts raced through my head and through the noise of it all came a sense of calmness. It wasn’t the type of calm a person feels when they are safe in their homes. Or the type of calm two lovers feel as they lay side by side with one another. It was different. It was a calm that came from acceptance. The acceptance that whatever would happen next, I’d be okay with it. Even if that meant that I was going to be killed, I was completely okay with it. I’ve made peace with myself and if anything, I don’t think I deserved to live anyways, especially not after what I just did.

I don’t think I’d want to spend the rest of my life in prison either, that’d be even worse than my ordinary life.

I had a lot of regrets, like why did I come here, why didn’t I listen to Mandy, why did I pull the trigger, but none of that mattered anymore. Even though the circumstances weren’t ideal, I’m at peace knowing I got to experience something people probably won’t ever have to deal with in their lives. And because of that, I felt like my time was up. Life couldn’t go any higher or lower than this.

The white lines along the ground started to separate until I could see their long rectangular shapes. Rainer and the others drove towards the dirt where we all eventually stopped a few miles in.

I didn’t even realize we were stopped until Rainer moved my hands off of him. I got off Rainer’s motorcycle and stood silently, embracing myself to stay warm even though it wasn’t cold at all.

Soon after, Rocket, Lanvin, and Sid stood beside me. They remained dead silent as I looked up at them, defeated, wondering what they were thinking.
 
None of them made eye contact, they just stared at the ground beneath Rainer who was facing away from us. He ran his hands through his hair and I watched his muscles tense, his tattoos looked like they were growing as he stretched his arms out.

Everything seemed peaceful until he yelled, “Fuck!”

Just like that, the calmness that lingered in my mind disappeared. I tried to make the feeling come back, but it was gone.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,” he yelled, each one louder than the last. Rainer took a deep breath, and I watched him closely as he turned around.
 
Like a hawk locked on its prey, my eyes were his target. Without breaking eye contact, he clenched his fists and slowly made his way towards me.

I guess this is it. Time to be brave.