Redemption Road (Roughneck #3) (5 page)

Chapter 8

The work day was finally over. I was starving and exhausted; all the commotion this morning made me forget my lunch, and it’s not like I could jump in my car and grab something, so I hadn’t eaten all day. But once I remembered that Kash would be there to pick me up, the hunger and tiredness was replaced with butterflies and giddiness. I really needed to get a grip on my feelings. I couldn’t let anything happen. The incident last night threw me off guard, and rocked my fucking world at the same time. I wasn’t expecting Kash to walk into my room. I wasn’t expecting him to do what he did, but oh my god, it was so hot. How was I going to resist him every day? But then again, Sam said he would only be there a couple of days and then he had to go back to work. And then I would be there. Alone.

When I walked out the door, I saw his car sitting in the parking lot. As excited as I was to see it, all I could think was this would fuel Jake up even more if he was spying on me. But then again, fuck him! Wow, my trash mouth here lately was surprising me. I don’t know if it was Sam’s influence or the fact that I was tired of dealing with bullshit, but it was coming full force.

“Hey,” I said, as I hopped in the passenger’s seat.

“Hey, yourself,” he said with that grin of his as he started the car, and I felt the engine vibrate beneath me. Sitting so close to Kash, I really didn’t need anything jostling that area.

“Thanks for coming to get me, and again, I’m sorry for inconveniencing you,” I said.

Kash slammed on his brakes, hard enough to bounce me forward. Luckily I had already put my seatbelt on. He put the car in park and turned to face me. He put his index finger on my lips and held it there.

“Stop apologizing,” he said quietly.

“Sor…” I started to do it again, but stopped myself.

“Listen to me. I only do what I want to do. If I didn’t want to help you, I wouldn’t.”

I just stared at him, listening to him.

“Now, if you don’t quit poking that sexy little lip out, I will bite it,” he said, as he ran his finger across my bottom lip.

I sucked my bottom lip in and latched on to it with my teeth. Although, the thought of him biting my lip got me way too excited.

“Oh, sweetie, that sure doesn’t help,” he said with a grin, but I could tell by the look in his eyes, he didn’t find it a bit funny.

He closed his eyes for a second, and dropped his hand. He faced forward and put the car back in drive. I couldn’t help but stare at him out of the corner of my eye. Especially when I watched him discreetly try to adjust the bulge in his jeans.

When we pulled into the driveway, my car was the first thing I noticed. It had all brand new tires. What the hell?

I stared at Kash, my eyes full of surprise and I’m pretty sure my mouth was hanging open.

“My car?” I asked, out of confusion.

“Yep, that’s your car,” he said with a smile.

“How?” I asked, dumbfounded.

“I took care of it,” he said.

“I’ll pay you back,” I said quietly.

“You’re not paying me for shit,” he said with a laugh.

“Why would you do this for me?” I asked.

“Because I wanted to,” he said.

When the car stopped, I jumped out and walked over to my car, feeling the brand new tires with my fingertips. I was shocked that he would do such a nice thing for me. I felt his presence directly behind me and my emotions took over. I turned around and wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him tight. He didn’t move for a second, but then wrapped one arm around my back and ran his other hand through the strands of my hair.

“Thank you, so much,” I said into his chest. I really was grateful. A small part of me worried that Jake was watching, but I didn’t care enough to let go. I just held on, knowing it was wrong, but touching him felt too good.

“Aw. You can thank me later,” he said with a grin, and slapped my ass as he dropped his arms. I couldn’t help but laugh at him as I pulled away from him and started to walk into the house.

We headed into the house and I felt my stomach growl. But I needed a shower first, and then I would worry about food.

“I’m gonna take a shower real quick then start some dinner, are you hungry?” I asked him.

“Thinking of you in the shower makes me hungry,” Kash said, as he walked past me and brushed his hand across my lower back.

“I’m serious, Kash,” I said with a grin, as I stood in my doorway.

“Me too, sweetie,” he said, as he shut his door behind him.

As I stepped into the shower, I couldn’t get his face out of my mind. I mean, it was just harmless flirting. That was ok, right? I wouldn’t sleep with him again. I couldn’t. No matter how bad I wanted to. I needed to live here until I could save up enough to move into my own place. And I knew how much I liked him now, if I slept with him again, I would be done for. I would get jealous of him with other women and drive myself crazy. It was settled, no sex. Period. Plus, there was the Jake problem. I couldn’t jump into bed with another man right after our break up. That would make me a whore. Even though I hated him for the most part of our relationship, I didn’t want to be that type of woman. I couldn’t deny my feelings for Kash, I just couldn’t act on them. No sex. Period. I would have to keep reminding myself, daily. Probably hourly.

Once I was dressed in yoga pants and a tank top-with a bra this time-I walked into the kitchen to get dinner started. I really was starving.

I was going through, getting pans and food out to get started, when I decided a glass of wine would be nice. So I grabbed the bottle I picked up yesterday out of the refrigerator and started looking for wine glasses. When I finally found them, I realized I couldn’t reach them, even standing on my tip toes.

I felt Kash against my back as he reached up and grabbed a glass for me. Once he had it in his hand, he put his nose against my neck and I could feel him inhale. I felt my eyes flutter closed.

“You smell so fucking good,” he whispered into my ear.

“Kash,” I whispered.

“Mmm…I love when you say my name like that,” he said into my neck.

It took a minute to clear my head, but I had to. I just made this deal with myself ten minutes ago.

“Kash,” I said with a little more authority, as I turned around to face him. Shit, he was sexy.

“Mackenzie,” he said, as he looked at me like I was his dinner.

“We can’t. I mean, I can’t.” I tried to form a full sentence, but wasn’t succeeding.

“Can’t what?” he asked.

“You know what I mean,” I said, trying my hardest to keep the promise I just made.

“You mean fuck,” he said, as he pressed his body against me.

“Right,” I whispered, but it was probably inaudible.

“You don’t want me to fuck you, Mackenzie?” he said in that husky voice, as he ran his index finger from my bottom lip down my neck to my breast bone.

“I’m not ready.” I lied. But I didn’t know what else to say. I couldn’t explain everything to him.

Kash ran that same finger from my breast all the way down my stomach and grazed it between my thighs, gently.

“That pussy begs to differ,” he said quietly, as he moved his finger back up to my stomach.

All I could do was nod my head, because he was absolutely right.

“Then, I’m just going to do one thing, and I don’t want you to deny me,” he said. I didn’t move. I waited.

I felt his hot breath get closer to my lips and he brushed his soft, full lips against mine. My mouth immediately opened up for him. He slid his tongue into my mouth and my tongue collided with his. Our mouths moved together as he put both of his hands on the back of my neck. He pulled his mouth away from mine and I almost let out a whimper; everything inside me wanted to beg for more. He sucked gently on my bottom lip, and then gave me two small pecks.

“Fuck,” he said, as he dropped his hands and pulled away from me.

We stood in silence for a minute. I think both of us were trying to gather our composure.

“You want some help with dinner?” he said casually after a minute.

“I need wine first,” I said honestly.

Kash let out a small laugh as he grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator and poured my wine for me.

I should just drink straight from the bottle, because I was going to need it.

Chapter 9

He was leaving today. My emotions were all over the place. I was sad he was leaving. I was relieved he was leaving. I was scared he was leaving. I liked being around him, but I knew I could at least keep the promise I made to myself if he wasn’t there. But I was scared of being alone. I knew Jake would realize soon enough that I was by myself. I had to mentally prepare myself to stand up to him.

“You’re about to head out?” I asked when I walked out of my room and saw his bag sitting by the front door. He was standing by the bar sipping a cup of coffee.

“Yeah, for a week,” he said in his morning voice that I loved. He must have just showered because I could smell soap and cologne, plus his hair was still a little damp. He was intoxicating. He also seemed a little preoccupied as he leaned against the bar.

I walked past him to the coffee pot and noticed he was biting the inside of his cheek. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I didn’t want to pry.

“Are you going to be ok here by yourself?” he asked.

“I’ll be fine,” I said, as I poured myself a cup of coffee.  It felt like I was lying to him.

“Look, I don’t know much about what went on with your ex, but he seems like a dick, and I’m kind of worried that he might try fucking with you when I’m gone.”

“Nah, he won’t,” I said, definitely feeling like a liar. But I was sick of feeling like a victim.

“He just gets off on putting his hands on you and slicing your tires,” he said, biting his cheek again as he stared at me. He looked pissed.

“Really, I’m fine,” I tried to reassure the both of us. “I already told him if he didn’t leave me alone I would call the cops, and he’s too worried about his reputation, trust me. He won’t bother me again.” Part of that statement was true, but I was more concerned with convincing Kash right now.

“Just promise me you’ll call someone: the cops, Moon, someone, if he gives you trouble,” he said, as he moved a few steps towards me. My breathing quickened as soon as I felt him get closer.

“Yeah, of course,” I said, in a hoarse whisper.

“My rig is seven hours away, but I want you to call me if anything happens,” he said. He seemed so conflicted.

“Kash, really, I can handle this.” I tried to say with confidence.

“I just….” he said with his head down. I waited for him to finish. “I just want you safe, that’s all,” he said, as he raised his head up and gave me a small smile that didn’t meet his eyes.

He took another two steps closer to me, until our bodies were touching. He ran his hand along the side of my cheek, the side that still had a faded bruise and the remnants of a tiny cut. My eyes instinctively closed, hoping for a kiss. But then I felt his lips brush across my forehead, and then a heavy breath escaped from his mouth as he moved them off my skin.

“I gotta go,” he said, and turned away from me. The word disappointment doesn’t even begin to describe the feeling I had in the pit of my stomach.

“Be careful,” I said, as I watched him pick up his bag and head to the front door.

“Ditto,” he said with a little laugh, as he turned around and winked at me. I couldn’t help but laugh a little, too, remembering my stupid comment.

I sat on the couch, listening to his engine start, and waited for the sound to fade out of my ear shot. He was worried about me, I could tell. It shocked me. I had never seen that side of Kash. He was always so carefree, and acted like he didn’t worry about anything. I’ve had feelings for him for months, but these last couple of days they have been growing by the second. When he kissed me last night, I wanted to tell my promise to go to hell and attack him right then. I knew he was starting to feel something for me. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I wanted to believe it was more than just sex. I hoped so anyway. But I wasn’t going to bet on it. I couldn’t.

I looked at the clock and realized my Kash daydreaming needed to come to an end. For now, anyway. I had to get to work.

Once I got to work, I dove straight into the new software. I had been at it for at least two hours when Lauren, one of the front desk girls knocked on the door.

“You have a call on line one,” she said quickly, and then scurried back to the front.

That was strange, I never got calls. I didn’t really know that many people, and the ones I did would just call my cell. I hoped there wasn’t some kind of emergency.

“This is Mackenzie, can I help you?” I said into the phone.

Silence.

“Hello?”

Nothing.

“Hello?” I repeated.

Then I heard a click.

I wasn’t stupid, I knew it was Jake. He knew I couldn’t answer my phone at work, so he was resorting to this. Kash had it right, he was a dick.

I walked to the front office and headed over to Lauren.

“Was that a guy that called?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said, as she was shuffling through files.

“If I get any other calls today, will you tell them I’m unavailable?” I asked.

“Sure,” she said, and looked up and gave me a quick smile before focusing her attention back on the files.

“Thanks,” I said.

“No problem.”

I finished working the rest of the day, trying to keep my mind off the craziness of Jake and the sexiness of Kash. My life really was a mess.

I was a paranoid freak all the way to my house, constantly checking my rearview mirror and scanning my surroundings. I was relieved when I finally pulled into my driveway. Everything seemed normal; I would just sprint into the house and lock myself in for the night, hoping there was no trouble brewing. And when I put my car in park, that’s exactly what I did. I double checked all the windows and doors. I was probably being overly paranoid, but I didn’t care. Besides, there was no one here to witness it anyway. Once I felt like I was secure, I went to my closet to grab some pajamas and take a quick shower. I opened my closet door and realized someone had been in here. I closed my eyes, thinking they must be deceiving me. But when I opened them again, I started to rummage through all the clothes on the hangers. All of my work scrubs were gone. Every. Single. Thing. I had just done all my laundry the night before, so I knew everything was hanging up. What the hell? This didn’t make any sense. This was crazy. Jake. How could he get in here? Why would he take my work clothes? But, who else would have done it? I felt like I was going to throw up, knowing he had been in here. What if he was still here? Shit. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife, and then dialed Sam’s number. I didn’t want to bother her, but I was freaking out right now and didn’t feel like I had a choice.

“Hey bitch, what’s up?” Sam said.

“Um. Can you come over, like right now, and bring Moon? Please?” I said, my voice shaking more than I thought it would.

“What’s wrong?” Sam asked, sounding nervous.

“I think Jake came in the house today. Please, just come over. I’m sorry for being a baby, but I’m scared,” I said.

“We’re on our way. Give us ten minutes,” she said, and hung up the phone.

I started walking through the house, knife in hand, checking under the beds, in the closets and showers, looking like a freaking nutcase. When I walked to the other side of the kitchen, I saw broken glass on the floor. It was the wine glass I had left on the counter last night.

He really was a psychopath. When I heard the front door open, I almost jumped out of my skin. I couldn’t help but gasp, and it must have been really loud because Sam came right over to me.

“It’s just us,” she said, and patted my shoulder. I saw Moon go into my bedroom and look around. He went from room to room, checking everywhere. He was huge, and in a weird way I hoped he would find Jake hiding, because he would seriously hurt him. And right now, I wanted him to be hurt. I was sick of him doing this to me.

“Here, let’s sit down,” Sam said, and led me to the couch. “How do you know he was here?”

“Well, there’s broken glass all over the kitchen floor, from a wine glass. But I went to my closet and all my work clothes are gone.”

“Your scrubs are gone?” Sam asked, looking confused.

“All of them. I know it sounds crazy. But Jake was always trying to make me late for work, like he wanted me to lose my job, so I had to depend on him even more. I think that’s what he’s thinking - if I lose my job, I have to come back to him. Shit, I don’t know,” I said, and put my face in my hands trying not to cry, but feeling like I was on the verge.

“But how would he get in here?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know. I locked everything up. But I swear he’s losing his mind, I don’t know what he’s going to do next. I’m freaking out,” I said, and the tears started to flow.

“We should call the cops or something,” Sam said.

“And tell them someone stole all my scrubs?” I said with a laugh through my tears. They would think I was crazy.

Sam put her arm around me and squeezed me, trying to console me.

“We’ll figure it out,” Sam said.

“I guess I can just wash these and wear them over and over until I can get more,” I said, as I pointed to my outfit. Sam was too tiny, so I knew borrowing hers wasn’t an option. My boobs would burst through the tops.

“Actually, Lainey still has all hers and she’s not using them. I’ll call her and get them for you,” Sam said, as she nodded her head.

“That would be great,” I said, feeling relieved about the clothes situation, but scared to death about Jake coming back.

“Yeah, it’s no problem, bro. Ok, bye,” Moon said as he walked into the living room, and slid his phone back in his pocket.

“Kash wants you to stay with us tonight,” Moon said with a grin.

“What?” I said.

“I called him on the way over. He lives here, too, and I wasn’t sure what all was going on so I wanted to give him the heads up,” Sam said.

“I can’t stay the night with y’all,” I said, shaking my head. I didn’t want to be more of a burden than I already was.

“Yes you can, and you are,” Sam said as she stood up. “Now, pack a bag while I clean the glass up, so we can get out of here.”

“Thank you,” I said to Moon and Sam.

“It’s no big deal,” Moon said, as he started checking the windows.

I walked into my room to pack an overnight bag when my phone went off. God, I didn’t even want to look. I didn’t have the energy to fight with Jake.

But it was Kash. Relief washed over my body as I hit the little green button.

“Hello.”

“Are you ok?” Kash said, sounding nervous.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, my voice still shaking.

“You don’t sound fine,” he said.

“I am, I promise, Sam’s here,” I said.

“You’re staying the night with them right?” he asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

“Yeah.”

“Ok, I gotta get back to work. I just wanted to check on you,” he said.

“Thanks, Kash.”

“I’ll talk to you soon, ok?” he said sweetly.

“Ok, bye.”

“Bye, sweetie,” he said, and my heart did a little flip.

I loved that he called me sweetie. It was nice to be called something other than bitch or whore. I knew Sam and Moon were waiting on me, so I got some stuff together pretty quickly and headed back into the living room.

The next morning I was leaving for work a little early.
The scrubs Lainey dropped off at Sam’s last night fit well, so I was relieved. Moon had left the same time Sam did to go fishing with Jase, so I was alone in the house. I decided to go grab some breakfast on my way to work. I ate in the parking lot, just listening to music. I hadn’t run in a few days, and I missed it, but music always soothed me. As I listened to Lee Brice singing about eating more drive thru chicken, I noticed Jake’s car pass in my rearview mirror. I got pissed off, and lost my appetite. I was so sick of his stalking, and being a jerk. So I wadded up the fast food bag, and opened my car door. I got my purse and lunch, then stepped out. I looked back and noticed he had circled around and was driving by again. Slowly.

I wasn’t going to be scared of him anymore. I wouldn’t allow it. I had a long talk with Sam last night, and she showed me that I wasn’t alone anymore. I had friends that I could consider family, and they would be there for me. It was a good talk. We laughed, I cried, and then I actually felt a little better about my life.

So, I turned around and stared him down.
Why the hell wasn’t he at work? He drove slowly, but I wasn’t budging. I wasn’t going to let him scare me. So I did the boldest thing I have ever done in my life. I was shaking on the inside, but wouldn’t let it show on the outside.

I looked him right in the eye as he stared back, and stuck up my middle finger and mouthed, “Fuck. You.”

Then I turned around and walked into the clinic without looking back, with a smile on my face.